


Five Years Later

by jess_louisee_1995



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:19:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 118
Words: 89,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9660932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jess_louisee_1995/pseuds/jess_louisee_1995
Summary: Bernie and Serena have survived their first few years of marriage with no major complications. But fate now has tougher times in store for them. Surely after everything they've been through, they can come through anything.But when the going gets even tougher will it make them or break them?





	1. Family

1: 

Serena stood at the window watching the world go by. It was what she did when she got nervous. In the waiting room, waiting for news on her own, she'd had to do something to steady her nerves.

*********************************

Four and a half years had passed since their wedding and honeymoon. Serena and Bernie were approaching their fifth anniversary together and were as still as formidable a team as they ever were. Their journey together had been so full of ups and downs in that first year- from almost losing Elinor and Jason in the accident, to Elinors drug addiction, the wedding that had almost never happened. It had been far from smooth sailing but in truth neither of them expected calm seas, they had known they had stormy waters approaching them, and they'd ridden every storm out on the crust of the waves and come out the other side, battered and bruised but together and fighting. 

In the four and a half years since their wedding their lives had changed more than they'd every thought possible. For the first year everything stayed as it was- the two of them ran AAU together and spent as much time together as they could. But then the changes had started to happen. 

Elinor had been seeing someone from her university, but when she got pregnant he'd done a moonlight flit. Serena had become a grandma six months later when Elinor gave birth to her daughter, Ruby. Serena was far to glamourous to be called granny though, so she was always Nanny. Ruby was now a very energetic three year old who looked like butter wouldn't melt but she had a very mischevious side. 

Serena and Bernie had never enjoyed something so much than when Ruby had been a baby and they'd been babysitting her. Bernie was just as much a part of Ruby's life as Serena was. They both felt so much love for her; even more so now because she was that little bit older and she understood that bit more. 

Serena and Bernie enjoyed being grandparents to Ruby; but that was the only change. The next year Cameron had a baby with his partner. He'd met her during his foundation training at St James Hospital. They were both engaged now, with a highly energetic 18 month old son, Toby. Bernie became a grandma for the first time. 

As their families had grown, so had the love they had. They would both spend so many nights cuddled up in bed exchanging stories of their grandchildren together. Yet another thing that bought them close together. 

Then had come the true test. Hanssen had organised for Bernie to be sent back to Kiev for six months. Their trauma unit had needed fixing up again. Bernie had not wanted to go but Serena had encouraged her. It was amazing how much different that trio had been. The last time Bernie had been in Kiev, she'd been full of regret at the fact she's left Serena behind, but whilst out there now, she could focus on her job, knowing she had a family and a wife waiting for her when she got home. 

Serena had missed Bernie so much while she'd been away but she knew it was only for a few months and the two of them had spoken on the phone all the time. When Bernie returned last year, Charlotte and Elinor had thrown a party, and broken some news to their mums, they were both pregnant. 

********************************

Six months on, and here they were. Elinor had given birth last week to her second child, Serena had another granddaughter. Elinor had named her Jade. And now here she was in the waiting room while Bernie was in the delivery suite with her daughter. Waiting for the news of the joyous arrival. 

Standing at the window, watching the world go by, she didn't hear the door open. She only became aware someone else was there when the pair on hands touched her waist and turned her around.  
'Hey.'  
'Hey. I can't believe you're still here. It's been 9 hours.'  
'Bernie, where else would I be? Wherever you are is where I need to be. So, did it go okay?'  
'Yes, Charlottes fine. She had a girl. We have a granddaughter.'  
'Congratulations.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernies shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. The two of them had four precious gems for grandchildren. They loved them as much as anyone. Their family. It was what mattered to them most.

But while they were so happy now, fate would soon be cruel enough to send them more testing times. Could their love withstand more heartache or would their story end in heartbreak?


	2. Orders

2: 

After what had been an eventful day, Bernie and Serena were thrilled to get back home and shut the door on the rest of the world. Charlotte and baby Arianna were doing fine- they would be discharged tomorrow. Bernie had promised to go and pick them in the morning. 

As they closed the door behind them, Jason emerged from the living room. He hadn't changed much in the last five years, he's just become a lot more independent. He worked on AAU as a porter still, and he absolutely loved it.  
'Auntie Serena, Auntie Bernie?'  
'Hi Jason. How are you?'  
'I'm okay Auntie Serena. I think the question is are you?'  
'What do you mean?'  
'You look very tired. Even more than usual.'  
'Jason, im fine.'  
'But Auntie Serena, I don't think you are.'  
'I'm just tired Jason.'  
'Serena, why don't you go and have a bath? I'll put some dinner on. Jason can you be persuaded to wait a little bit for dinner?'  
'I suppose I could make an allowance just this once, as long as it's no later then 8:30.'  
'That's fine Jason. Would you like anything in particular?'  
'No, I don't mind.'  
'Bernie, I can make the dinner.'  
'Serena, no arguments, go and have a bath. You've had a long day.'  
'Yes, but so have you.'  
'Serena, I wasn't at Elinors last night helping her with the girls. You've had no sleep, I mean it.'  
'Initiating your orders on me again are we?'  
'You know you love it, not hop it.'  
'Yes ma'am'

Despite Serena's protests, she couldn't help realising just how much she had needed this. As she slid down under the bubbles, she tried to regulate her heartbeat. It was going nineteen to the dozen and she couldn't think why. It had been a long day for all of them but why had it affected her differently? She put it down to no sleep. Her body wasn't as young as it used to be, and running around after Ruby last night hadn't helped. Who knew 3 year olds could have so much energy? 

Coming down stairs 45 minutes later, Serena felt a bit better but not much. She suspected she might be coming down with the flu or something. She had a pounding headache that she couldn't shake.  
'Feeling better?'  
Bernie emerged from the kitchen behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist.  
'I don't know. I think I'm coming down with the flu or something. I'm just run down.'  
'Your probably just exhausted babe. You're not as young as you used to be.'  
'Excuse me Bernie Wolfe. Are you calling me old?'  
'No, but we're both getting on a bit. And there's no use in pretending we're 20 something with bodies to match.'  
'I know.'  
'Dinners ready. Do you want any?'  
'Yeah, I'm not that ill. I'm ravenous, and I'm sampling whatever you cooked.'  
'Come and sit down then. Then I want you to go to bed and stay there.'  
'Do I have any choice in that?  
'No, I'm the one with military experience remember.'  
'I remember. I love it when your like this. My big macho army medic, dishing out the orders.'  
'I only dish them out because I love you. And I worry about you.'  
'I know, but I'm fine.'  
'Serena, you would tell me if there was anything seriously wrong wouldn't you?'  
'Yes. I'm just exhausted you know I am. I'll have an early night I promise. As long as you come with me.'  
'I think that can be arranged.'  
'Jason will be fine on his own. He has his own routine after all.'  
'Well come on then, let's eat before it gets cold.'

Serena and Bernie went into the living room together. Something was niggling st the back of Bernies mind. She'd never seen Serena look so beaten and worn down since she'd met her and she was worried something was seriously wrong with her, but she knew Serena would tell her if there wasn't.

She only dished out he orders to Serena because it was the only way to get her to listen. She obeyed the orders better than any of the other soldiers had in the army. She put the worrying to the back of her mind, and smiled.


	3. Morning Mantra

3: 

The radio turned on at 6:45am. Bernie and Serena had grown tired of alarm clocks, especially after Ruby started to stay over. The alarms would wake her up in the morning so they'd invested in a radio.

Serena's dreams were interrupted by some singing. She couldn't figure out where it was coming from. The same words over and over again dragging her away from her peaceful slumber. Then the words were replaced by a cherry male voice announcing the time and the brightness of the day. Bernie sucked in a long breath beside her and suddenly Serena was awake, squinting against the sunlight. 

She eased herself up onto her pillows blinking her eyes. They felt heavy this morning, and her eyelids were scratchy. She smiled as she glanced over to her left. Bernie was lying on her stomach, the duvet only covering her bottom part- exposing her back and shoulders. Her beautiful blonde hair was tousled, as usual, all over the pillow. After 5 years together, Serena never grew tired of watching Bernie sleep. She seemed younger, and more peaceful while she was asleep, almost like a delicate flower that she needed to protect from harm.

'Stop staring at me.'  
Bernie murmured to her without opening her eyes  
'I'm not staring, I'm admiring you.'  
'Oh is that what you call it? I could have you done for harassment you know.'  
'You love it really.' Serena said gently. The faint yellow of the morning sunshine caught every curve and line on Bernie's face, the flush of her cheeks and the petal pink of her lips, almost as if she were a watercolour painted by someone in love. 

Bernie laughed quietly and turned over onto her back, opening her eyes as she did so.  
'How are you this morning?'  
'I'm a bit better. Apart from my eyes feeling like sandpaper that is.'  
'Do you want to not go in today. I'm sure I could cope without you.'  
'Bernie, I'm not dying. Im just a little bit under the weather.'  
'Are you sure?'  
'Bernie, stop pecking at me.'  
'Sorry.'  
'No baby, it's not that I don't appreciate the worry. I know how much you worry about me, but you don't need to. I promise I'm fine.'  
'You promise?'  
'Bernie, I promise.'

Serena got out of bed and made her way over to the wardrobe, selecting her clothes for the day. Bernie watched her- she was worrying so much about Serena at the moment. She didn't know why, she just had a bad feeling. 

On an impulse; she got out of bed, and walked over to Serena, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close.  
'I do love you Ms Campbell.' she murmured, brushing her lips against Serena's ears.  
'And I you, Ms Wolfe.' Serena whispered back, unable to do anything but shiver. Goosebumps scattered themselves across her bare arms as Bernie continued to brush her lips against Serena's skin, her hands still tight around Serena's waist. 

'Serena?'  
'Mmm?' It was all Serena could summon the strength to say. As Bernie's kisses became more frequent on the back of her neck, it was becoming gradually harder to breathe.  
'Serena?'  
Bernie let go of her waist and put her arms around her shoulders.  
'Yeah?'  
'I think today is going to be okay. Yes?'  
'Yes?'  
'As long as you tell me you're okay, and any time you feel bad you find me. Promise me?'  
'I promise?'


	4. Transformations

4: 

Most of the morning passed by on AAU with nothing major to report. Serena had been hauled into a review meeting over AAU's budget. Serena dealt with those things better than Bernie- Bernie preferred to be among the team, working with them as one, Serena had more of a head for figures and things like that. 

Bernie hadn't seen her since she'd got back from the meeting. She and Morven had had to rush a patient into theatre and Bernie had missed her returning to the ward. They'd managed to save the patients life but his leg on the other hand- well the pulse in it had been weak when he'd arrived; now they'd have to watch and wait. 

Coming back onto the ward after theatre, Bernie saw Serena standing at the nurses station chatting to Raf. Suddenly overcome with longing, she walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, right in the middle of the ward. Serena drew in a sharp intake of breath as she felt Bernie hug her, but immediately relaxed against Bernie, clasping her hands with her own. 

'Hello.'  
'Hello yourself, how are you feeling?'  
'I'm okay. I promise. I told you I would tell you if I was feeling rough and I'm fine.'  
'I'm only worried.'  
'I know, and I love you for it, but you really don't need to Bernie. I'm right here.'  
Serena let go of Bernies hands and pushed her away so she could turn around to face her. Grabbing her hands, she looked straight into her eyes. Bernie had these brown eyes that moved her like the moon with the tide and dance as old, well as old as time itself. Serena always felt like she looking through the window into Bernies soul because she put such intensity and passion into her eyes, Serena was shocked that they didn't hurt her half the time.  
'I just worry something will happen to you.'  
'Bernie, I'm here, I'm right here with you.'  
'I know.'  
'What are you worried for?'  
'I have a bad feeling.'  
'A bad feeling?'  
'Yes.'  
'Why didn't you tell me instead of worrying yourself silly, you narna. It's what I'm here for. I am your wife after all.'  
'I know but it's silly.'  
'No it's not.'  
'I just have this horrible bad feeling about you. That something is going to happen to you and they'll be nothing I can do to prove it.'  
'Will it put your mind at rest if i ask Ric to give me an examination? You can come with me.'  
'Really?'  
'Bernie; I know you. You'll worry yourself silly until it eats you up. I love you. Why wouldn't I?'  
'Then yes, lets.'  
'Right, now that's sorted, van we get back to work now?'  
'I love you Serena Campbell.' Bernie said as she pulled Serena in for a hug. In the middle of the ward again, but she didn't care, she needed to show Serena how grateful she was and how much she loved her- not that Serena needed convincing of the latter, she knew it already.

Raf smiled to himself as he watched his bosses embrace in front of him. How far they'd all come in the last few years. Their working bond was stronger than ever. He could think back to the time when Bernie has arrived on the ward, a broken down shell of a woman. Slowly he'd seen the life flow back into her, just like a river after the dam is broken. Well in this case the water was like Bernies life. While the dam prevented the water from flowing and running to its full potential; Bernies ability to never see anything through prevented her from doing the same. After her secrets were revealed, there was nothing left to run from so like the water it had broken through what was holding it back and come through stronger and faster than ever before.

Serena, she'd been full of life when she'd first met Bernie, but as the two of them became closer friends, he'd seen Serena almost give some of her spark to Bernie to make her feel better. When Bernie had run away and gone to Ukraine, Serena had been a broken woman. The transformation had taken less than six months but it was there and it had been down to Bernie.

Transformations. The word. It described what had happened to the two of them. They'd both transformed from people they didn't want to be, into better people, into the best possible versions of themselves. And it was all because they'd found each other. Even five years later, the two of them still wondered if it was too good to be true. Nothing had challenged them more than it had in their first year- when Serena had almost lost Elinor. They'd been pulled apart more than they ever thought possible then but they'd transformed the situation from a horrible thing into a positive, and in the months to come they would have to see if they could do it again.

Because transformations can not only been beautiful, like when a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly or when a duckling transforms into a swan. They can also be ugly, like when the prince turned into the beast or a friend turns into a bully. 

The question remained- would they be positive or negative and what impact would they have on their lives in the future?


	5. Enchanted Evening

5: 

Later that afternoon, Serena and Bernie emerged from the office looking relived. Ric had given Serena the once over and she was completely fine. He said she was taking too much on and was stressed. Bernie had breathed a sigh of relief. She'd been tying herself up in knots worrying something was seriously wrong with her wife. She didn't know how she'd have coped if everything hadn't been okay.

As they emerged from the lift onto the ground floor, Serena grabbed Bernies hands and steered her outside. Leaning against the barrier outside the entrance she looked at Bernie. She seemed to have had a weight lifted off her shoulder. She seemed quieter, almost subdued.  
'Penny for them?'  
'What?'  
'See, problem shared, problem halved.'  
'No I'm just thinking about us.'  
'Us?'  
'Yes, us.'  
'What about us?'  
'I can't put it into words how relived I am at that.'  
'At what Bernie. You're talking in riddles.'  
'At you getting the all clear.'  
'What, did you think I wouldn't?'  
'I told you I had a bad feeling.'  
'I know, that's why I suggested going to see Ric in the first place. Because of you're feeling. I didn't want you worrying yourself silly.'  
'You know me, I'm a worrier.'  
'I know, but that's one of the reasons I love you so much.'  
'I love you too.'

Serena shook her head at Bernie but in a mischievous way and pulled her in for a hug. Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena's waist so hard, it knocked Serena into her more. The two of them stood there clinging to each other, not wanting the moment to end.

********************************

'Nanny!!' Ruby threw herself onto Serena's legs the minute she came into the living room. Bernie had been to pick her up on her way home from the office. She was staying with them tonight. Elinor had her hands full with Jade; Serena and Bernie thought she could do with a break, and they loved any excuse to see their grandchildren.

'What is this heavy monster doing on my feet? Oh no, it's not a monster is it? It's my Ruby.'  
'Nanny, don't be silly. I'm not a monster. I'm me. Uncle Jason is right. You are very silly sometimes aren't you?'  
'Yes my sweetheart, Nanny Serena is very silly isn't she?' Bernie couldn't help chuckling as she came into the room behind Ruby. She walked over to Serena and gave her a kiss.

'Ewww!' The moment was interrupted by Ruby's protests. Bernie broke contact with Serena and the two of them broke into fits of giggles at the sight of Ruby. She had her hands over her eyes.  
'You are so much like your mummy.' Serena said to her, picking her up off the floor and wrapping her in a hug.  
'Where's Jason?'  
'Upstairs. He wants to watch some documentary Mikey sent him on email. He's told me not to disturb him for precisely 97 minutes, and that was half an hour ago. So I haven't.'  
'Uncle Jason!! Can I go and say hello?'  
'No Ruby. Uncle Jason is a bit busy. So you get to spend some time with me and Nanny Bernie.'  
'Can we watch Frozen?'

Bernie groaned as she caught Serena's eye. Like every little girl around the world, Ruby was obsessed with frozen. Serena and Bernie had bought her an Elsa costume for Christmas and she wore it everywhere. If she hadn't been in her Little Mermaid pyjamas now, Serena knew she'd have worn it to hers.  
'Ruby, don't you want to watch something else?'  
'No Frozen. I want to see Elsa and Olaf.'  
'Okay, okay. Frozen it is.'

Two hours later, the credits rolled signalling the end of the film. Serena glanced across at Bernie who had fallen asleep. Ruby was sat on her lap, she'd also fallen asleep. Sat there, enchanted watching them, Serena was so happy. Evenings like this were few and far between. A relaxing evening with the woman she loved and her grandchildren. 

This was the reason she existed. The reason she got up in the morning. These people and the young man upstairs. Her family.


	6. Reflections

6: Reflections 

Three days later was Bernies birthday. She didn't like to shout it from the rooftops, because every year she got that slight bit older. This year she was turning 57; yet another feather in the cap of life gone. Another year under her belt. 

Ever since Bernie could remember she'd hated her birthday. That is, until she'd became a couple of with Serena. Every year, she had bought her a gift that was so precious, so thoughtful. The first year- Charlotte. That was the best present and it had kept on giving. 

Five years later, her and Charlotte were as close as they once had been- she was now a mother herself. Little Arianna was yet another reason to be thankful for having Charlotte back in her life. If Serena hadn't bought Charlotte back into her life, then the circumstances in which she'd met her granddaughter could have been very different. 

********************************

Bernie woke up to the sound of rain pelting itself against the window. Stretching herself out, she rolled over onto her back. She wasn't in work til later. Serena had changed her shift around to be with her on her birthday. Come to think of it, where was Serena? Bernie sat up in bed, drawing the duvet around herself for warmth. Despite it being May, it was freezing. 

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Bernie pulled a hand through her hair and picked up her phone from the bedside cabinet. Text messages from Cameron and Charlotte, wishing her a happy birthday.  
'Oh you're awake.'  
'There you are.'  
'I was downstairs sorting Jason out. We might not have work til 2 but he has to be there on the dot for 9.'  
'I know that.'  
'Has he gone alright?'  
'Yes, Fletch just picked him up on the way. He dropped this off for you as well.'

Serena came over and sat on the side of the bed, handing Bernie an envelope. Bernie opened it and smiled as she read it.  
'From Fletch and all the fletchlings.'  
'Aww, that was nice of him.'  
'Yes it was, every year, he never forgets.'  
'No-one could forget you. You're one in a million. Happy Birthday.'  
'Thank you.'  
'Are you okay?'  
'I'm just freezing.'  
'It was rather cold this morning. It's warmed up a bit now though.'  
'I haven't. I'm chilled to the bone.'  
'Come here.'

Serena moved up next to Bernie on the bed and wrapped her arms around her. Pulling her close, she could feel the goosebumps on Bernies arms through her pyjamas.  
'You weren't kidding were you? You are cold.'  
'See, I told you.'

Bernie reached up a hand and caressed the side of Bernies cheek. Serena closed her eyes and smiled as Bernies hands came into contact with her cheek. After five years, Serena and Bernie still got goosebumps every times they came into physical contact with each other. They might be getting older but they certainly weren't out of the race. Bernie pulled Serena closer to her, their foreheads touching.  
'Suddenly I'm not cold that much anymore.'  
'What can I say? I'm hot I suppose.'  
'You certainly are Serena. Why do you think I married you?'  
'Hmmm, that's a hard one. Because you love me.'  
'Well yeah there is that.'  
'You mean there's another reason.'  
'How long have you got?'  
'A few hours.'  
'Yes but I think we can find a better way to utilise that time.'  
'Can we?'  
'It's my birthday after all.'  
'Yes I'm well aware of that.'  
'So will you please stop beating around the bush and just kiss me already?'  
'Yes ma'am.'  
Serena and Bernie leant in further and in one second they were kissing. Kisses between the two of them were like electricity. The current flowing between them was immense, intense and so fast flowing. 

After a few minutes, Bernies phone began to ring, ruining the moment. She broke contact with Serena and got out of bed to answer it. As she stood on the phone, talking to Cameron about her plans for later, she ran a hand through her hair.  
'Okay we'll be there at 6:30. Serena won't tell me what she's got planned but you and Charlotte are both coming? Okay that's fine. See you later. Love you.'

As Bernie put the phone down on the end of the bed, she stopped dead in front of the wardrobe.  
'Hun; what's wrong?' Serena got off the bed and walked over to her. She'd been watching Bernie with a contented smile but having watched her stop so abrasively had worried her. Bernie turned around to face her and held her hand out. At first she couldn't seen anything, but closer inspection and she saw a hair in Bernies hand, a grey one.  
'What?'  
'Look at it.'  
'I am.'  
'Its grey.'  
'Yes I can see that.'  
'It's my first grey hair.'  
'Oh Bernie, it's not a big deal. I found a grey hair when I was 30. Doesn't mean anything.'  
'It means I'm getting old.'  
'No it doesn't. It means your human.'  
'I know.'  
'Bernie, what's wrong?'

Sensing Bernie was finding the words to say, Serena pushed her in front of the wardrobe. Standing behind her, she wrapped her arms around her waist.  
'Look, what do you see?'  
'Serena, is this a trick question.'  
'No, just tell me what you can see?'  
'Our reflections.'  
'Precisely. Our reflections. Now listen to me. We'll be doing this in thirty years time when all our hairs are grey and the kids have grandkids of their own. We'll be stood right here and I'll be telling you to remember the time you found your first grey hair.'  
'Really?'  
'Bernie, trust me, it's not a big deal. Our reflections will change over time. No doubt so will we.'  
'I know we will. It's just a shock to find it.'  
'I know, it doesn't change you though does it. And it mode certainly does not change how I feel about you.'  
'And not me. The reason I married you was not just for love. You give me all the strength I need to go on in life. And without that, I would have nothing.'  
'I'm nothing without you either.'  
'That's the reason I married you.'  
'And that's one reason I love you. Come on, it's your birthday. Presents to open. Things to do.'  
'Just one more minute, please.'

Serena smiled and wrapped her arms even tighter around Bernies waist, as the two of them stood their gazing at their reflections in the wardrobe.


	7. Birthday Blues

7: 

Bernie got out of the car, locking it behind her. She’d be glad when today was over. It might be her birthday, but she wanted to go home. Her mind flew back, to only a few hours ago, her and Serena stood in front of the mirror. Their reflections staring back at them. That seemed like a lifetime ago. Bernie felt like she had aged at least 20 years today. She might have only been in work for 3 hours (bridging the gap to cover bank staff), but it had been a disaster from start to finish. 

She and Serena had been involved in a challenging case of abuse. They knew the old lady was being abused by her son, but they couldnt prove it. Despite repeated attempts to talk to her, her son had shut them down at every opportunity. Then she'd taken a turn for the worst- they'd rushed her into theatre but to no avail. Shed died on the table. Bernie and Serena had done all they could to save her, but they couldn’t. When Serena had broken the news to her son, he’d slapped her, accusing her of killing her. Bernie had rushed to Serena’s defence in the middle of treating another patient. Her son had been removed from the ward by security and Serena had moved away without a word of thanks to Bernie. Shed text Bernie, telling her to meet her in the Italian at 6:30. Bernie suspected it was something to do with her plans for the evening, but to be honest, Bernie was angry with her. And she wasn’t in the mood for celebrating, when they’d both lost a patient in their care. 

Opening the door, Bernie immediately spotted Serena sat at the table in the corner. Raising a hand in greeting, she was surprised when Serena waved cheerily, inviting her over.  
‘There you are. What took you so long? I’ve been here ages’  
‘Forgive me, but we’ve had a rather challenging day. That guy, when he hit you, did it hurt?’  
‘No, I’m fine. Anyway, this is not about me. It’s your birthday.’  
‘Serena, what happened today?’  
‘What are you talking about?’  
‘Serena you hurt me. He hit you, and I rushed to help you and I don’t even get a word of thanks. What did I do wrong? Not to mention the fact, we lost our patient.’  
‘Bernie, we lose patients all the time. It comes with the job. And as for you riding to my rescue, it’s not that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, because believe me I did, its just you blew it out of proportion. I didn’t ned you to rescue me.’  
‘Im sorry. The woman I love, my wife, got hit by a patient, am I not allowed to be upset?’  
‘Yes of course you are. It just wasn’t the right thing to do.’  
‘I don’t understand what I did wrong.’  
‘You were in the middle of treating a patient. You left an F1 to finish their treatment to see if I was okay. We have to put patients first on AAU, you know that.’

Bernie turned on her heel and walked out of the restaurant with tears in her eyes. Visually taken aback, Serena jumped up on an impulse after her. Bernie was so hurt by what Serena had said to her.  
'Great birthday I'm having aren't I?'  
'Bernie!' 'Bernie!' 'Berenice Griselda Wolfe, will you stop for one bloody minute?  
Bernie stopped after hearing Serena say her full name. It was something she heard so rarely. Turning around, she faced Serena who just caught up with her.  
'What?'  
'You ran out before I could finish.'  
'Finish what? Telling me I cant do my job properly. As a surgeon, or a wife.'  
'It was a stupid thing to do.'  
'Okay, yes, really really stupid. Can we forget it now?'  
'But I love you for it'  
'I'm sorry?'  
'You dropped everything to come and check I was okay. I was so full of love for you when you did. I just had to be professional, so I couldn't wrap my arms around you with everyone looking.'

Serena moved closer to Bernie, and wrapped her arms around the blonde. Initially fighting against Serena's embrace, Bernie gave in after a minute, and relaxed against her, pulling her even closer.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

The row had shocked Bernie. Normally the two of them were bullding each other up, after a death of a patient, but instead they were tearing chunks out of each other. Were the cracks starting to show? And with fate about to provide yet more testing times for them, was their relationship strong enough to hold out?


	8. Love

8: 

'Let's go home'  
'What about tonight?'  
'Bernie, I'm not really in the mood now, and I don't think you are either to be honest. I’d much rather we go home, and have a takeaway.’  
‘You know what? That sounds perfect. I’d love that.’  
‘Okay then. Let’s go, because I’m freezing my tail off standing here hugging you.’  
‘Shall we just take my car? You can pick yours up tomorrow after work.’  
‘Great minds think alike. I was just going to say that?’  
Bernie smiled at Serena as she withdrew from the embrace. Rotting around in her bag for her car keys, she offered the other one to Serena, who took it instantly. Together, they walked hand in hand to the car. 

Pulling the take out menus from the draw in the dresser, she walked through to the kitchen. Serena had already opened the bottle of Shiraz. Two full glasses stood on the kitchen counter. But there was one thing missing. Serena. Setting the menus down along with the glasses, she went off to find her. Turning on her heels, she walked straight into her, as she was walking back into the kitchen. She was carrying something behind her back.  
‘Are you okay?’  
‘Yes, yes I’m fine. I just had to go and get something.’  
‘What?’  
‘Your present. I really hope you like it.’  
‘Serena, I’m yet to get a present off you that I don’t like. You know me better than I know myself.’  
‘Well here, happy birthday.’

Bernie took the present off Serena and sat herself down at the counter. Serena couldn’t keep her eyes off the blonde as she watched her examining the present. Fiddling with the sellotape, Bernie was wondering what it could be. It was very heavy. Pulling the paper off, she just sat dumbfounded, staring at the present.  
‘Do you like it?’  
‘Serena, this is….’  
‘What? What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?’  
‘This is amazing.’  
‘You really like it?’  
‘Serena, how could I not?’

Serena was so glad she liked it. It had taken her hours to make it. Over the last few weeks, stolen moments spent making sure everything was perfect. Bernie was sat holding the most amazing present. It was a photo frame. The photo frame had LOVE written around it so many times in handwriting she recognised as Jason’s. His penmanship was far neater than Serena’s- so he frequently told her. The photo frame was split into sections. The first section had pictures of Cameron and Charlotte as children. Serena has spent lots of time rooting through their photos, making copies to put on her present. The second was pictures of Jason and their family on AAU. Bernie smiled as so many memories presented themselves in her mind- Photos that she didn’t even remember having taken. 

The third section held pictures of their grandchildren. Ruby, Toby, Jade and Arianna. Some of them on their own, some with their mums and dads, some with Bernie and Serena. Her eyes filled with tears as she examined their smiling faces. Family was the most important thing for Bernie. Their eyes were so full of mischief and vulnerability- Bernie had made a promise to all of them that she would do anything to protect all of them. 

The last section held a single photo. Their wedding. Bernie examined it and she saw how in love the two of them were. Charlotte and Elinor were at either side of them, smiling and grinning inanely. Jason was being pulled into the photo by Cameron and the two of them were stood behind Bernie and Serena.  
‘This photo. Where did you get it?’  
‘Elinor found it on her phone. Never realised it was there. I saw it and had to put it on here.’  
‘Serena, this present, is unbelievable. I can’t believe you would do this for me.’  
‘I took inspiration from the first present I got off you. The Family photo. But I had so many more photos to put on it. And why can’t you believe it? I love you, you doughnut.’  
‘I love you too. Thank you, I will treasure this forever, believe me.’  
‘I do believe you.’

Bernie and Serena sat their gazing at each other for a minute. Finding each other’s hands without looking they grabbed on and never wanted to let go.


	9. Intimacy

9: 

Bernie still couldnt get over how amazing her birthday present was from Serena. After 5 years together, they still continued to surpsie each other. That was vitally important for a healthy relationship, keeping the spark alive. The fact that Serena knew her well enough to keep getting her presents that rendered her speechless- well that said it all for Bernie. Their relationship had its fair share of ups and downs, they'd been tested and had some tough times, but what should have broken them, it didn't. It actually made them- made them stronger and closer, to the point where nothing could break them. They were happy, and they belonged together. 

The next morning, Bernie woke up before Serena. She'd already hung the photo on the wall by her side of the bed, so she could see it every morning when she opened her eyes. This present was full of intimacy and love, Bernie wondered if was a dream, especially after the row they had yesterday. 

Getting out of bed, she stood by the photo examining all the photos Serena had carefully put into it. All the due care and attention for her present. The photo of their wedding day. The two of them so in love with each other. The photo was so powerful, so filled with emotion. Bernie hadn't ever felt that amount of happiness in one day before. It took her months to plan the day for Serena, and the whole thing had gone without a hitch. Well unless Alex turning up, counted as a hitch. 

Alex. She was now a distant memory, as was Bernies time in the army. It hadn't been without its uses, but for the last few years, Bernie had scarcely thought of the army or her time there because her and Serena had been busy, helping to bring up their grandchildren. 

They might only be blood to 2 of them each but the whole family had bonded together. Charlotte was godmother to Ruby, and Jason had been made godfather to Cameron's son Toby. The fact that their children were such good friends had meant so much to Bernie. Also the fact they didn't mind Serena and Bernie bringing up their other children like their own. 

Stroking her fingers over the photos, Bernies mind got the better of her and she began to swim in the sea of her memories. Serena opened her eyes and glanced over to her left. Bernie wasn't in bed but was in fact standing in front of the photo. Serena smiled. It had had the effect she'd wanted it to- it rendered her speechless. Serena had spent so much time on it, she was so glad Bernie liked it. 

Something hit the back of Bernies head, making her turn around. Serena was smiling inanely across her face. Reaching down and retrieving the pillow, Bernie returned her smile and threw the pillow back to her. It hit Serena square in the face.  
'Hey. What was that for?'  
'You threw it at me first.'  
'Because you were away with the fairies.'  
'I just can't stop looking at this.'  
'I'm glad you like it.'  
'I more than like it. I love it.'  
'I hoped you would.'

Bernie sat down on the edge of the bed. She had begun to shiver.  
'Has it gone really cold in here?'  
'I'm not cold, but you always feel the cold more than me. Come here.'  
Bernie burrowed against Serena's chest, and wrapped the duvet around her for comfort. Serena pulled Bernie closer.  
'Can we spend the whole day here?'  
'Serena, I wish we could. But we have to go to work. Making up for the poor shift we had yesterday.'  
'I've drawn a line under yesterday.'  
'But Serena...'  
'Bernie, it won't help if we dwell on what we could have done differently. Let's just focus on doing what we do best together.'  
'Saving lives.'  
'Exactly. We might have had a little spat yesterday, but who doesn't when their married?'  
'We don't, at least not seriously.'  
'It wasn't serious. And we're okay now aren't we?'  
'Of course we are, but it still scared me?'  
'What did?'  
'Our row. We don't fight, at least not seriously. And not about work.'  
'Bernie, it doesn't have to scare you. We sorted it last night. It's because you think if we row we're going to split up. That will never happen.'  
'How do you know that?'  
'Well I don't for certain, but you see this?'  
Serena waved her hand in Bernies face and pointed at the two rings on her finger.  
'This is what keeps us going. We married each other, fully knowing there would be good and bad times ahead for us both. Now stop worrying. As long as we're honest with each other, there's nothing we can't handle.'

Bernie sat up and pulled Serena in for a kiss. Their relationship had been filled with so many ups and downs, but what remained was their intimacy with for each other. Both emotional and physical, or had never died, only for stronger as their relationship has blossomed.

'As long as we're honest.' Serena didn't know that those words would soon come back to haunt her, along with two words that had plagued her for the first part of their relationship. What if?  
What did fate have in store for the two of them?


	10. Precious

10: 

'Nanny!!' Ruby threw herself at Serena as soon as she opened the door. Bernie and Serena were having her overnight again. They loved having her, she injected the bit of fun into their lives, and any opportunity they had to see her was a joy for them. 

'Ruby!' Serena flung her arms around her granddaughter, scooping her up from the floor and covering her in kisses.  
'Stop it! Stop it!' said Ruby laughing, trying to push Serena away.  
'Hey, don't I get a cuddle Miss Ruby?' Bernie asked, coming in the door behind her.  
'Yes Nanny Bernie.' Ruby reached out an arm and Bernie moved closer to her and Serena. 

After a minute, Ruby started to fidget, so Serena put her down on the floor. She ran into the living room.  
'How is Elinor?'  
'She's okay. Jade is keeping her up. I think she's just worried about Ruby. That's why when she asked if we could have her, I said yes.'  
'Bernie, its fine. She's our granddaughter. How are you?'  
'Still ant shake my headache. But I'll be fine in a couple of days.'

Bernie had been feeling under the weather for the last few days. She's put it down to being around ill patients. It wasn't anything serious, just backache and headaches. 

Bernie wasn't one for complaining so she'd just carried on as normal. But now, her headache was becoming quite bad. Her left temple felt like there was a woodpecker going on inside it. 

'Can we watch Little Mermaid?'  
'Of course we can my precious. Go and find the film. Me and Nanny Serena will be there in a minute.'  
'Okay, don't be long.'  
'One minute I promise.'  
Ruby had a habit of winding Bernie and Serena around her little finger. She looked like butter wouldn't melt but she had a way of getting whatever she wanted.

Two hours later after The Little Mermaid had finished, Serena popped her head around the bedroom door to see if Bernie had managed to get her to sleep yet. Ruby was fast asleep in her bed, but Bernie had also fallen asleep. Serena could see her breathing heavily. Creeping into the room, and touching her forehead Serena felt her very cold. Grabbing the old blanket off the end of Ruby's bed, Serena lay down on the floor with Bernie and drew he blanket over her for warmth.

The two of them had something so precious, that Serena didn't want to be without her for a second. However, something was about to happen, that may leave Serena with her exact fear. Being alone. And without Bernie.


	11. Concerns

11: 

The next morning, Bernie woke up with a crick in her neck. It took her a moment to realise where she was. She must have fallen asleep while putting Ruby to bed. Blinking in the bright sunlight that was steaming through the curtains, she sat bolt upright, pulling the duvet off her as she did so. Her eyelids were heavy this morning, her eyes like sandpaper and her head much worst. It was pounding on the left side again. 

She must have sat up too quickly because the room began to spin. Suddenly dizzy, she put a hand out to steady herself, just as Serena walked in.  
'Bernie?'  
'Hey.'  
'Are you okay?'  
'I'm fine.'  
'You don't look it Hun, and you didn't last night. You looked awful and you don't look much better this morning either.'  
'I told you I'm fine. Where's Ruby?'  
'Jason's dropping her home on the way to work. She was up at the crack of dawn this morning.'  
'Why didn't you wake me?'  
'Because you're not well and it was Jason she woke up anyway. He wasn't happy.'  
'I bet.'  
'No I left you to sleep. You needed it. Do you want to miss today? I can hold the fort without you.'  
'No. It's sweet your worried but you don't need to be I'm fine.'

Bernie stood up but her legs buckled underneath her and she dropped to the floor.  
'Right, you're staying here today.'  
'No. I'm fine.'  
'Bernie, you can't even stand up.'  
'Yes I can.'  
Bernie took a deep breath and forced herself to her feet.  
'See?'  
'Bernie; why are you so desperate to prove yourself?'  
'I'm not. I'm fine. I think I just got sea legs that's all. Stop worrying. I'm coming to work. Okay?'  
'Okay. At least there I can keep an eye on you.'  
'Serena, there's really no need. I'm fine.'  
'Bernie, I only worry because I care about you.'  
'I know.'  
'Like you did about me when I was ill.'  
'I'm a worrier though you know me. Especially when it comes to you.'  
'I know that. And I am worried now, about you. Because you're not fine.'  
'Serena...'  
'But if you are insisting on coming to work, I can't force you to stay here.'

Bernie took the two steps to close the gap between them and kissed Serena fresh on the lips. Serena responded for a second before Bernie broke contact and pulled her into a hug.  
'Babe, I love the fact that you're worried but I'm fine.'  
'Are you sure?'  
'I'm fine, I promise. Now let's go. I imagine we're already late for work as it is.'  
'I rang Hanssen already. Told him we'd had a long night with Ruby so we'd be late.'  
'So we won't be in trouble?'  
'Are we ever?'  
'Knew there was a reason I love you.'  
'Oh it's that is it. So I can get you out of trouble with our boss.'  
'Well that naturally, and our undeniable sexual chemistry.'  
Serena returned Bernies mischevious smile as the two of them went off to get ready for work.

Despite Serena's brave face, she was concerned about Bernie. But every time she raised her concerns, Bernie shot her down in flames. Why was that? She'd never seen Bernie like this, despite the pretence. She was worried something was going to happen, but she didn't know what.

Bernie was conflicted about what she was doing to Serena. She was sure she was fine but should she tell Serena she was a little bit concerned herself? No, best not. It would all blow over. She'd be as right as rain in no time.

They say love can withstand anything, and that was certainly the case as far as Bernie and Serena had been concerned. Well up until this point, for on the not so distant horizon; was a truly testing time for both of them. Not a test of whether they loved each other, because that was unquestionable. There was no doubt they would be together until they died. It was just how far their love stretched. And how much did they need each other to cope?


	12. Closer

12: 

The next few days, Serena kept a watchful eye on Bernie. Like she had done when Jason had first joined AAU. She remembered wanting to keep an eye on him to make sure he towed the line, that is until Bernie had warned her about loosening her grip on him. And she's been right, for as he had grown in confidence, so had his independence.

But this time was different. She couldn't stand being away from Bernie in case something happened to her. Despite all her reassurances, Serena wasn't stupid. She knew something could be wrong with Bernie, and she kept a watchful eye on her, so she could put her own mind at ease that nothing was seriously wrong. 

However, Serena began to worry if she had been blowing everything out of proportion. Bernie seemed better in herself anyway. She was more steady on her feet and had cleared many of the trauma patients out on her own over he last few days. Serena had been busy clearing the budget plan for Hanssen, but always keeping one eye on Bernie and making sure she was never too far away if she needed her.

One night, after a very long shift, Serena came into the office to find Bernie slumped over in her chair. She'd fallen asleep in the middle of clearing paperwork. That wasn't like her, to fall asleep on shift.  
'Bernie?'  
'Hmm..?'  
'Bernie, Hun, wake up...'  
'Serena? What time is it?'  
'Still same day baby. You fell asleep..'  
'Did I?'  
'Yes, are you sure you should be here?'  
'Serena, I'm fine.'  
'Bernie, you're falling asleep at work. I think you need to get checked out.'  
'No I don't. I'm absolutely fine.'  
'Bernie, I really think...'  
'Serena, I appreciate the offer but seriously I'm fine. I've been better lately haven't I?'  
'Well yes, but..'  
'So there. I'm just exhausted. Now let's get this paper work finished and let's go home.'  
'Together?'  
'No, I'm going on my own. Of course together.'  
'I thought you were mad at me because I want you to be checked out.'

Bernie reached out her hand and pulled Serena down on to her lap on the chair. Not caring where they were she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer. As Bernie hugged her tight, Serena responded immediately. They might be in the middle of their office embracing but Bernie could sense she was worried about her.  
'I'm not mad at you I promise. How could I be? I love you?'  
'I love you too. I just worry about you.'  
'I know and I love the fact you do, but I know my body. I'm just exhausted.'  
'Well let's get this finished and go home. You're going straight to bed no arguments and I'm going to look after you.'  
'That sounds nice. Let's go then.'  
'One problem.'  
'What's that?'  
'We're hugging still on your chair.'  
'Oh right.'

Bernie released Serena with a smile, catching her hand as she got up and bringing it to her lips. She was going to do as Serena said tonight, and she was exhausted and drained. Jason was staying at Fletch's for the night with Mikey, so Serena could well and truly focus on Bernie. She hoped Bernie would be her patient for once, rather than trying to be the doctor.

They continued to pull each other closer when they were worried about things. But what happened when you reach for someone and the one time you need them, they aren't there? Serena was going to find that out in the not so distant future. For now though, they were the same Berena we all know and love.


	13. Stronger

13: 

'Go and sit down.'  
'Is that an order?'  
'Yes, I said to you I'm looking after you. Now do as you're told and please sit down. I'll be right through.'  
'Love it when you do your whole sergeant major routine with me Serena. I think you and me would have made a good team in the army.'  
'Me and you make a good team because we have each other's backs unconditionally.'  
'But we always understood each other in ways that no one else did.'  
'I know what you mean. That's why I fell in love with you. Because I fell for your personality. I understood you and you understood me.'  
'I meant why I said you know. You would have made a great team with me in the army. I could just see it.'  
'In another life perhaps, now go in the living room. I'm going to make some tea and I'll be right with you.'  
'Yes ma'am.'

Serena walked into the living room with the tea in her hands. She had wanted something stronger but alcohol wasn't good for Bernie, so she was kicking the habit for a while. Bernie had put the fire on so the room felt warm and inviting. The woman she loved was sat on the sofa with half the blanket over her for warmth. She saw Serena and moved up to make more room for her. 

Setting the tea down on the coffee table, Serena sat next to Bernie, and pulled the other half of the blanket around her. Bernie reached out for the teas and handed one to Serena.  
'Think we both need this after today. It hasn't been the easiest has it?'  
'No, but we get days like this. We're stronger together. We always have been, and we always will be. I know that.'  
'Really?'  
'Bernie, I think after everything that's been thrown at us, we've proved we're stronger than all of it. We're still here, together.'

The two of them spent the evening curled up on the sofa, talking into the early hours of the morning. Bernie had curled up and pu her head on Serena's shoulder. It had been so long since they'd had an evening to themselves. 

At 2am, Serena glanced down at Bernie. Her wife had fallen asleep now. Serena loved Bernie more than life itself and vice versa. Wrapiping her arm even tighter around Bernie; she bent down and kissed the top of her head.  
'I love you.'  
Ten minutes later, she was asleep as well. O


	14. M.I.A.

14: 

Bernie might have thought she was getting better but she thought wrong. As the days progressed into weeks, she began to make plans for her and Serena's wedding anniversary. It was their fifth wedding anniversary- the Wooden one. While it was still a few weeks away, Bernie had to make sure her present went the extra mile for her wife. She would do anything to see her happy, and that was most important to her.

Serena had also begun to make plans for their anniversary. She was putting a lot of thought into her gift. Something that she really hoped Bernie would love, but she had a habit of getting presents she loved.

When Bernie thought of just how far her and Serena had come in the last five years, she couldn't believe it. They were both so different to the people they'd met all that time ago. While it was almost 6 years ago, Bernie remembered it so vividly. Serena in the car park, in her 'grandma' style cardigan, complaining about her car. As soon as they'd shook hands, Bernies fortune had changed. She hadn't known then just how much of an impact Serena would have had on her life, her personality everything. It was almost like Serena had been her guardian angel. She had guided her through dark times, and she'd been there in darker after the accident. 

The fact they'd been more than halfway in love with each other when they'd actually became a couple was the reason they were the ultimate power couple at the hospital. Everybody looked up to them and respected them.

They really were the epiphany of true love. They were the hospitals answer to Romeo and Juliet, except the story didn't have a tragic ending. They had overcome all adversity to be together and had been deliriously happy. In fact they still were, but that was all about to change.

For the last three days, Bernie had been fighting chronic fatigue. She'd also been gaining weight lately which was unlike her, because she had great metabolism and normally was a bundle of energy. She had been short of breath a lot but she'd put it down to being stressed at work. They'd been close to bursting point over the last few days and with Raf and Fletch off sick, they'd been trying to cope with the amount of patients.

Serena had bought them both a coffee from Pulses, knowing they could both do with the sustenance. Taking them into the office, she looked for Bernie. She'd been there a few minutes ago. Her phone was on the table and her paperwork file was open on her desk. Where could she have gone? 

Half an hour later, Serena was beginning to worry. Bernie was M.I.A. She had to go and find her, put her mind at ease, because it was already going ten to the dozen about what could be happening.


	15. Waiting

15: 

Serena was sat in the waiting room with her head in her hands. She wasn't allowed to be in theatre, even to watch. She didn't know what to do. Her mind was too busy thinking of everything that could be going wrong. She wasn't entirely sure what had happened. 

She had become increasingly worried about Bernie when she'd failed to reappear on the ward. It wasn't like her to have gone AWOL, especially when they were stretched to bursting. She had wanted to go and look for her but she couldn't have left AAU with just Morven as the most experienced doctor. She'd had put her professional feelings above her personal ones.

It was Dom who found her. She had been lying at the bottom of the stairs. It looked like she had fallen. But he'd immediately paged Zosia, and the two of them had taken her straight into theatre where Hanssen took the lead. Dom had run straight to find Serena. As soon as she had heard, she'd dropped everything. There could be no question of her loyalties now- Bernie was her wife. She was needed there more than ever. 

Pacing the waiting room, Serena began to bite her nails. She hated feeling so powerless. The love of her life could be dying in the theatre, and she couldn't even be there.  
'Serena?'  
Serena turned around instantly to see Cameron and Charlotte stood there. Serena had asked Dom to call him.  
'There's no news yet.'  
'Serena, what happened?'  
'I don't know. She was going by Dr Copeland at the bottom of the stairs. He think she fell, but what actually happened is unclear. Mr Hanssen is in there with Dr March but I have no idea what is going on. I've just been sat here waiting.'  
'Mums a fighter. She always has been, and always will be. This isn't going to beat her.'  
'Where's Arianna?'  
'Chloe's got her. Toby was asleep so I asked her to have Ari as well so I could come with Cam.'  
'Serena, she'll be fine. I know it.'  
'Cameron, she hasn't been herself for a while.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'She's been exhausted all the time. Feeling cold, woozy. I tried to make her see someone but she kept insisting she was fine. She's a stubborn woman your mother.'  
'Serena, you can't make my mother do anything. We all know that. I just hope whatever it is couldn't have been preventable.'  
'I don't know what happened. And if I get chance I'll ask her.'

Serena began to cry immensely. She'd been here before with Elinor and Jason, but Bernie had been by her side all the time. She couldn't function without her.  
'What am I going to do without her? I can't lose her?'  
Cameron saw Serena crying and put one arm around her shoulder, and putting the other one around Charlotte, hugging them tightly.  
'Serena, you know Mum, she's a fighter, she'll be fine. The waiting is the hard part.'  
'I can't lose her Cameron. I just can't. She's part of me. I love her so much.'  
'And she loves you Serena.'  
'I know, what am i going to do?'  
'You're going to be strong, we all are. We have to wait this out together, as a family. Because that's what we are.'  
'You mean that?'  
'Serena, Cameron's right. You've made my mum happier than I've ever known her. You're family to us. Ellie is like my sister, and I know Cameron feels that too. You're our second Mum. We have to wait this out.'  
'Waiting is so hard.'  
'I know; but we'll have to do it.'

Serena was so glad of the support. Cameron and Charlotte weren't going anywhere until they knew what was going on with Bernie. Those two words were back, and playing in all of their minds? What If? What If?


	16. Prayers

16: 

Serena, Cameron and Charlotte stayed at the hospital. They waited over an hour for news on Bernie’s progress. Serena was desperate for someone to come and tell her it was okay- she would be okay. The waiting was the worst part, no-one knew what to say or do next, and none of them wanted to leave in case they missed any vital updates. They just sat watching the world go by without a care, while there’s was hanging in the balance. 

Hanssen appeared at the door of the room, coughing to grab their attention. Snapped out of their own thoughts, which were driving them all crazy, they looked at Hanssen through tear stained eyes.  
‘Mr Hanssen....’  
‘Miss Campbell, Mr Dunne, and you are?’  
‘Oh this is Charlotte, Ms Wolfe’s daughter.’  
‘Hello.’  
‘How is she?’  
‘Well the good news is I stemmed the internal bleeding from the coronary artery. And that regulated the blood pressure.’  
‘What’s the bad news?’  
‘She arrested during the operation. As of yet, the reason for that is unclear. I put her into an induced state for her own safety, while we investigate. If all goes well, we can reduce the anaesthetic with 72 hours and see if there is any permanent damage.’  
‘Damage to what? I don’t understand.’  
‘Charlotte, what he means is that your mum isn’t out of danger yet. Her heart stopped during the operation and they don’t know why, so they’ve put her in a coma while they try and find out the reason why. If she remains stable, they will try and bring her round. Hanssen is she on a ventilator?’  
‘For the moment yes, but it’s just a precaution, to help her breathe. Her respiratory reflex is unaffected.’  
‘What does that mean?’  
‘Charlotte, it’s okay. Its medical jargon. She can breathe on her own but they want to help her.’  
‘What’s the permanent damage?’  
‘Her brain.’  
‘Her brain?’  
‘Yes Charlie. Mum lost a lot of blood and her brain was starved of oxygen which means it might not function as well as it did before?’  
‘So she might end up being a vegetable?’  
‘Now, there is no reason to suggest she won’t make a full recovery, but no-one knows anything until they bring her round Charlie. Thanks Hanssen. Can we see her?’  
‘She’s in recovery at the moment, but as soon as she is back on the ward, of course you can.’

Hanssen excused himself and left the room. Serena’s knees buckled underneath her and she dropped to the floor. She wasn’t sure how she should feel. She was immensely relived Bernie was on her way back to the ward. But she might not be the same person she was before. 

Half an hour later, Dom popped his head around the door and said that they could go in. But only 1 at a time. Cameron and Charlotte let Serena go first, because they could see how much she needed to know how she was- it was like she was struggling to comprehend the sheer complexity of the situation. As Dom lead her to the side room where she was, Serena braced herself for what was to come. They came to the room and Serena stopped.  
‘I don’t know if I can do this.’  
‘Miss Campbell… Serena… is everything okay?’  
‘Dom, I’m not sure I can do this.’  
‘Take a deep breath. You know you can, and you know you will never justify it to yourself if you don’t’

Serena smiled at Dom. He was right. Taking a deep breath, she pushed opened the doors and walked in. As soon as she saw Bernie, lying in the bed, her hair tousled all over the pillow, Serena rushed to her bedside and grabbed her hand.  
‘Bernie, darling it’s me. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier. You’ve been so brave, but I’m here now. I’m not leaving your side for another minute I promise. I don’t care if you’re not the same person. I’ll still love you regardless, just please don’t leave me on my own. You’re half of me Bernie, and I can’t function without you. Please come back to me, I need you. I love you.’

Serena continues to hold Bernie’s hand, hoping someone would listen to her prayers and bring Bernie back to her. Serena loved her so much, but this was one time when she didn’t know if love could conquer all. Would her prayers be answered, or would they fall on deaf ears?


	17. Priority

17: Priority 

Serena spent all night at Bernie's bedside. She'd left for an hour so Cameron and Charlotte could spend some time with their mum. She had gone to AAU to inform everyone what was going on. Raf was coming back tomorrow to fill the breach. Serena couldn't be at work, she had to focus on Bernie. She was her priority now.

The sunlight streaming through the window made the room almost shimmer in the early morning light. The light hung on Bernies face; illuminating her features. Serena had fallen asleep holding Bernies hand, desperate for a sign or something. To show her prayers had been answered.

Serena opened her eyes and she blinked back the tears in her eyes. She was dreaming about Bernie, that she'd lost her. It had seemed so realistic that when Serena sat up and saw Bernie still lying in the bed, she thought she was dreaming.  
'Bern, I'm still here. I told you I wasn't going anywhere. You need to know you can be as stubborn as you like, it's not going to make me go away. I love you, you silly woman. So hurry up and get better. We all need you.'

'Auntie Serena?'  
Serena turned around and saw Jason with his head in the door.  
'Jason, what are you doing here?'  
'You and Bernie didn't come home, so I rang the ward and Morven told me what happened. I came here. I had to see if Auntie Bernie was okay.'  
'She's doing okay Jason. You know Bernie. Does everything the hard way.'  
'Do you want me to go away?'  
'No, I don't. Come in, come and sit with me. I could do with the company.'  
'Are you crying?'  
'Maybe.'  
'Yes you are. You're eyes are full of tears. That's because you love Bernie right?'  
'Jason, you know I love Bernie.'  
'You two have taught me about love. More than I could ever learn about the Internet. You've shown me how to love someone unconditionally, how to be there for them through thick and thin. That's what love is. And you're very good at it Auntie Serena. You're not good at much, but you're good at loving Bernie. And she's good at loving you.'

Serena's eyes filled with even more tears as she got up out the chair and wrapped him in a hug. Jason always spoke the truth, no matter how blunt. After a quick embrace, she pushed him away and put her arm around him.  
'We have to wait until they bring her round.'  
'Will she be okay?'  
'Honestly Jason, I don't know, but I'm hoping against hope she might be.'  
'Auntie Bernie is a fighter.'  
'Yes she is. And she's my priority now. Nothing is going to get in the way. She needs me. I need her.'

Serena and Jason sat by each side of Bernies beside, waiting for her to show them a sign that she was still awake. She was Serena's top priority now. Bernie had been there for her through Elinor, now it was her turn to be the tower of strength, and prove that love can conquer all.


	18. Pleading

18: 

For the next 24 hours, Serena kept a constant vigil at Bernie’s bedside. There was not much else she could do other than watch and wait. She was beside herself with worry. Bernie had always been the strong one in the relationship, and Serena didn’t know if she had it in her to do it all again, after what had happened with Elinor. 

Jason, Elinor, Charlotte and Cameron had been constant visitors and support for Serena. She knew they were all sick with worry, but there was nothing she could do to ease their worry. She longed for Bernie to show everyone that she was still in their fighting against whatever parasites were in her body, but she didn’t. 

Serena was met with the same deafening silence she’d experienced during Bernies absence in Kiev. She’s become accustomed to it then, but now she was finding it hard to stomach. Thank god only 24 hours remained until they could bring Bernie out of the coma, and hopefully establish what kind of treatment she would need. Everything was kind of frozen in time until Bernie’s level of damage could be determined. Serena was fighting all the elements and hoping against hope that Bernie would be fine, but as a doctor, she knew only too well of all the possible outcomes, some much darker and scarier than the rest. 

‘Serena?’  
A voice at the door interrupted her thought and brought her back down to Earth with a bump. Turning her head, she saw Raf and Fletch with their heads in the doorway. Acknowledging them, she waved them in and turned back to Bernie.  
‘Serena, how is she?’  
‘Stable Fletch. That’s about all anyone can say. How’s the ward?’  
‘Don’t you go worrying yourself silly about the ward? We’ve got it covered between us. Mr Hanssen has even been down to lend a hand with a couple of more trickier patients. Your focus needs to be Bernie.’  
Fletch sat down in the chair opposite Serena and touched Bernie’s arm. Looking at Serena for approval, who nodded instantly, he began to speak to her.  
‘Bernie Wolfe, you always like to commandeer people’s attention don’t you? Raf and I are supposed to be in the middle of a shift but we had to come down and see how you are doing. Everybody is missing you. AAU isn’t the same without Berena. The two of you need each other, and Serena needs you Bernie, so please hurry up and get well again. We all need you.’

‘Thank you Fletch.’  
‘My pleasure. I don’t know if she heard any of it.’  
‘I bet she did. Bernie is always listening, even when we don’t think she is. Raf? Are you alright?’  
‘Yes I’m fine. I just can’t believe that Bernie Wolfe is lying hooked up to these machines, it doesn’t seem right somehow.’  
‘Life isn’t fair. One accident or something and everything can change instantly. I know that all too well from when I nearly lost Elinor and Jason.’  
‘Fletch, we really have to get back. We only popped down for five minutes to see if she was okay. Let us know the minute anything changes.’  
‘I will do, and thank you for coming down. Means a lot.’

After Fletch and Raf had gone, she closed her eyes and laid her head down next to Bernies hand on the pillow.  
‘Please, if anyone is listening, please, bring her back to me. She’s part of me. I cannot cope without her. I love more than life itself. My whole life is right here, in this bed. If she dies, I die with her, because I cannot exist in a world without her. I’m trying to be strong but I really can’t. She gives me the strength I need for everyday and without her, well I’ll be an empty shell. I was when I met her and she made me such a better person. Please, I will never ask for anything ever again, just please bring her back to me, I’m nothing without her.’

Serena lifted her head and kissed Bernie on the forehead, clasping her hand in between her own.  
‘Bernie, I love you. Please don’t give up fighting. I’m here. Please, please, come back to me.’

Unbelievable. Was Serena imagining it? No. Looking down, through her misty eyes full of tears she saw a sight that broke her. Bernie’s hand clasped around her own, even though a second ago, it had been flat. She was still in there!


	19. Steps

19: Steps

Bernies hand was clasped tightly around Serena's. Serena knew she was still in there and it made her heart swell with pride.  
'Bernie? Bernie? I know you're still in there. You're coming back; back to me, back to the kids. I love you so much. Keep fighting.'  
Just as Serena pulled out her phone, the consultant came in to check on her. Serena had to phone Cameron and Charlotte. She had promised them an update as soon as anything changed- whether it be good or bad.

Serena put the phone down from Cameron and felt a presence behind her. Turning around, she saw Hanssen stood there.  
'Mr Hanssen...'  
'Ms Campbell, I gather there's been an update in Ms Wolfe's condition.'  
'She squeezed my hand.'  
'Just as I had hoped. Ms Wolfe is showing signs of comprehensiveness and understanding.'  
'I hoped against hope she would. Can we bring her round now?'  
'I will instruct the registrar to lower the dosage yes. It may take some time and she may not be the same Ms Campbell. You should prepare yourself for anything.'  
'But she squeezed my hand, is that not a good thing?'  
'Yes and it shows that she's fighting, but we all knew she would. Ms Wolfe has a fiery temperament that is only made stronger by your partnership.'  
'Come again?'  
'Ms Campbell, you and Ms Wolfe bring out the best in each other. Now, I will go and inform the registrar, but I meant what I said. Prepare yourself for anything.'  
'I can handle anything, as long as she's awake.'  
'Well that should be case soon. I hope everything is prosperous for you both Ms Campbell.'

He walked off into Bernies room.   
Serena stared after him for a moment and went outside to phone Cameron and Charlotte. Finally, she has something good to report rather than same old same old.

*********************************

Three hours later, Serena was sat by Bernie's bed. They'd reduced the anaesthetic dosage and for the past half an hour Bernie had slowly been coming round. Cameron was working but was coming straight down after his shift. Charlotte has Arianna and was coming as soon as she could find a babysitter. So for the moment she was on her own.

Bernie had been drifting in between consciousness for the last 45 minutes. Serena hadn't said anything to her because she wanted to wait til she was fully awake and aware of her surroundings. Hopefully then Serena would be able to assess herself what kind of state Bernie was in.

'S...S...Serena?'  
Bernie choked out the word behind her oxygen mask.  
'I'm here, I'm here.'  
Serena leant forward in her chair, taking Bernies hand. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, she put her other hand up to caress Bernies cheek. Bernie moved her hand and removed the mask from her face so she could talk properly, turning her head to Serena as she did so.  
'The kids??...'  
'All fine, well apart from being worried about you. I genuinely thought I was going to lose you.'  
'I know I heard.'  
'You heard?'  
'You asked for a sign I was still in there, so I squeezed your hand. Before that the last thing I remember was feeling dizzy.'  
'Dizzy?'  
'It's a blur, I leant over the barrier to catch my breath..and then nothing.'  
'You must have fainted and fell down the stairs. You arrested on the table. I came this close to losing the love of my life.'  
'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like that.'  
'Save your apologies. None of this is your fault. I'm so glad your here, back with me.'  
'Serena, believe me, if I'd have known this was going to happen, I would have been checked out. I can't believe I did this to us.'  
'Stop dwelling on what could have happened. This is the hand we've been dealt. Now what matters is getting you better. Your steps to recovery.'  
'I love you so much. Thank you for being here.'  
'Bernie, there's no where else I could be. I can't cope in a world without you. You're like my own brand of oxygen. You're the reason for my existence. It's not even funny anymore how much I live you. Every fibre in my body thoughts id lost you.'  
'Well you haven't, im still here. And I'm going to take the steps and get better for you. For us.'


	20. Closer

20: Closer

Serena leant forward and kisses Bernie on the top of her forehead.  
'Bernie, you need to get better for you. If you get better for yourself, me and you will be just fine. As long as you are here and healthy then I'm okay.'  
'Serena...?'  
'What is it?'  
'I should have listened to you, I'm so sorry. I was being a stubborn cow. I don't know why I couldn't take my own advice when I was so worried about you. It's not right.'  
Bernie began to sob uncontrollably. She couldn't believe what she'd put Serena through the last couple of days. And it had all been preventable. 

Watching the woman she loved crying her heart kid, Serena sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around her. Pulling her closer to her, Serena sat there silent for a moment until Bernies sobs had subsided. There was nothing she hated more than seeing the woman she loved in pain. But this time there was something she could do to stop it, she could shoulder some of the burden and make Bernie see nothing was her fault.

Whispering into her hair, Serena pulled her even closer.  
'Bernie, I love you more than anything. You know I do. None of this is your fault. But I know why you were a stubborn cow. You spend so much of your time giving to everyone else, that when it comes to yourself, you have nothing left to give. You do your job even without meaning to. You save everybody's life around you. You don't know the effect you have on everyone. You need to let everyone look after you for a change.'

Bernie began to cry again. Serena had hit the nail on the head. She gave so much of herself to everyone making sure they were okay and functioning that she forgot about herself.   
'I blame myself I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. I could have died.'  
'Yes you could have, but you didn't. Do you know AAU would have fallen apart without you? You're the beating heart of the ward, you live and breathe this place. Even more than me. And if you had died, the heart of AAU would have died with you. And before you say anything, someone else could have replace you yes. But no-one can live up to you. It's like when people get heart transplants. Yes the heart functions and does the job but it's never as good as the original. AAU wouldn't be the same ever again without you. I wouldn't be the same.'

Bernie moved her head away from Serena and looked at her straight in the eyes.  
'Do you mean that?'  
'Bernie, AAU is your ward. Yes I run it with you, but I'm always in meetings as of late. You're the one who keeps all the patients flying out on time, who keeps all he troops motivated.'  
'But you're the one who keeps me going.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'Serena, AAU is our ward. That's what co-leading tends to mean. And if you say I'm the heart of the ward than your the veins, the arteries and the capillaries rolled into one. A heart can't beat on it's own. It needs a support system. And my support system is you.'

Serena looked down at Bernie through misty eyes and reached down. Kissing her slowly and deeply for a minute, she only broke contact when Bernie winced in pain.  
'Bern, are you alright?'  
'Chest pain. I'll be fine. Think it was the shock of the kiss.'  
'Shock?'  
'Like when I kissed you for the first time, remember?'  
'I will never forget that day. It sticks in my mind for all the wrong reasons, well that is until you kissed me.'  
'I've never felt closer to you than I have right now. I love you Serena.'  
'And I you as well Bernie.'


	21. Rooftop Rendezvous

21: 

While Bernie was awake and talking, she wasn't out of the woods yet. Tests still had to be done to determine if there was and should there be, determine to extent her brain was damaged. 

However, all signs seemed positive at the moment. Bernie was talking coherently and didn't seem to have anything obviously wrong. Serena couldn't believe how lucky she was. There had been every chance that Bernie could turn up brain damaged but yet she seemed as right as rain and fine in herself.

Bernie had been sent for an MRI scan so Serena took the opportunity to grab her thoughts. Somehow she found herself on the roof. The last time she'd been here was her and Bernie's very first Valentine's together, many moons ago. How much had happened to them since then. She remembered her chats with Bernie out here. Especially on the first day of the trauma unit opening. Serena had had a meltdown and Bernie had taken her up here to gather herself. It was the place she said she got most clarity.

'Miss Campbell?'  
Hearing a voice brought Serena out of the deep sea of memories she was swimming amongst and back up to shore with a gasp of breath. Turning around she smiled when she saw who was standing there.  
'Mr Copeland. I should have known.'  
'It's a surprise to see you up here Miss Campbell.'  
'Please, call me Serena.'  
'Serena, is everything okay? How is Ms Wolfe doing?'  
'Bernie is doing well thank you. She is awake and talking but the rest is just a waiting game now.'  
'For what?'  
'If there's any permanent damage. But at he moment all signs seem to point to the fact she's okay. But I can't help feeling this is only the beginning.'  
'Of what?'  
Serena didn't know how to answer that, so Dom came and sat by her.  
'You know I've spent many a time up here with Bernie, both before and after you were together?'  
'Yes, you were confidant.'  
'She confided in me recently about her anniversary gift for you. In fact I was helping her with it. I honestly think you're going to love it.'

At those words Serena broke down. She'd been holding it in for the last few hours; wanting to appear strong for Bernie, but in truth she was struggling. Initial relief that Bernie could talk fine was replaced almost immediately by the angst of what could be to come.

What if? What if? What if? Those two words again. They had been dormant for years using Serena as a host but like a volcano; she was about to erupt with the words and uncertainties.

'It's the start of a long road. And I don't know anything of it. How long it's going to be, how many twists and turns are to come.' She choked out the words in between sobs, as Dom tentatively put one arm around her.  
'Serena, the two of you have already been on a road of discovery. The Berena road. It's not over by a long shot. Yes Bernie has a long road to recover but she has you by her side. That's what matters.'  
'I just don't know if I can handle anything being wrong with her?'  
'We don't know anything yet. You know better than most that people can fight back from the brink. Look at your daughter. And Bernie is a fighter. She's stubborn and that's a good thing.'  
Serena smiled through her tears.  
'Mr Copeland, have you ever thought about going into life coaching or something?'  
'Miss Campbell, I'll take that as a compliment, but no, the only people I coach are people that lose their way a little bit. They need a bit of the Dominic Copeland wisdom in their life.'  
'Oh they do, do they?'  
'Next time you or Bernie need any life coaching as you so nicely put it, you should call me and we can arrange another rooftop rendezvous. But now; I really must go. Mr Levy needs me in theatre.'  
'Thank you Dr Copeland for everything you've done for the two of us.'

As Don left the roof, Serena approached the edge of the roof and looked out at Holby. While she was unsure of the future, she knew one thing. Whatever the Berena road held for her she would attack it with every fibre in her being. Because she knew, in that moment, that love is stronger than anything, and it could overcome even the most toughest of times.


	22. Progress

22: 

The next morning, Serena arrived at the hospital with a spring in the step. Bernies test results had come back last night showing no permanent brain damage. Serena had spent all night, lying in her bed thanking the big guy upstairs for bringing Bernie back to her. She knew it could have been such a different story.

Pushing open the door, Serena made sure not to crush the flowers Jason had bought for Bernie that morning. But as she went inside, she was in for a shock. For there was no one lying in the bed. The room was completely empty.  
'Excuse me, Ms Wolfe, where is she?'  
'She's been taken for a CT.'  
'But..but..all her tests were clear.'  
'But they wanted to do another one Ms Campbell. You know the procedure. It's just routine. She's making good progress. She'll be along soon. Those flowers are gorgeous by the way.'  
'Oh thank you, a present from my loving nephew.'  
'He has good taste.'

Serena let the nurse get on with her rounds and she went into Bernies room. Taking the vase off the cabinet, Serena took it to the basin to fill with water. She wanted Bernie to see it when she came back. Arranging the flowers for a moment, she sat down by the side of the bed. She was going to spend the whole day with Bernie. AAU was fine without her for a couple of days. Bernie was her focus for the moment. 

*********************************

Something hit Serena in the face and suddenly she was awake. Hearing laughter she opened her eyes and saw Bernie in front of her, her hands covering her mouth; in an attempt to cover up her peals of laughter. Serena looked down and saw balls of tissue in her lap.  
'Have you been bombarding me with these?'  
'I had to find something to amuse myself with Serena.'  
'How long have I been asleep?'  
'Not long, I just thought it was funny. I'm sorry.'  
'No your not. Your laughter tells me otherwise.'

Serena caught Bernies eye and her mouth spread into a wide grin. She picked one of the tissue balls up and threw it back at Bernie.  
'Hey!'  
'There's more where that came from.'  
Serena picked all of the tissues off her lap and began to pelt Bernie with them. Bernie began to scream with laughter as Serena began to 'attack' her. Then a nurse popped her head around her door.

'Is everything okay in here?'  
'Yes. It's fine thank you. Me and my wife just having s fight of sorts.'  
'Well would you mind keeping the noise down.'  
'I'm sorry, we'll be on our best behaviour.'  
As the nurse closed the door after her, Serena caught Bernies eye and they burst into uproarious laughter. Bernie moved her hand up to push her hair out of her eyes and Serena caught her hand with hers and sat on the edge of the bed. 

'But you're okay?'  
'Serena, I'm more than okay. You're here. That's the best medicine for me.'  
'You're going to think me weird.'  
'More than I do already?' Serena quelled her with a look and Bernie burst into more laughter.  
'Sorry, carry on.'  
'I spent the whole night thanking him upstairs.'  
'Hanssen?'  
'No, you know, God.'  
'God? But you're not religious.'  
'I know but I was so worried about you, I spent every minute of every day praying for him to send you back to me. And he did.'  
'Oh Serena.'  
'I spent the whole night thanking him. Cause you're here.'  
'Serena. I'm back. I'm not going anywhere.'  
'I love you, you know that right?'  
'I think you might have mentioned it once or twice.'

Bernie brought her hand up to Serena's cheek and pulled her down for a kiss. Serena wrapped her arms around Bernies neck and pulled her as close as she dare without injuring her or pulling any wires out of her. Bernie seemed so much more herself today. Her playfulness had returned. And that told Serena she was making progress.

That was all she needed. Progress was a step in the right direction. But progress for the sake of progress was sometimes inhibited, so was it all as rosy? Only time would tell.


	23. Crashing Down

23: 

Serena left the hospital later that evening feeling so much better than she had done that morning. Bernie was so much more herself. They were even talking about letting her go home in a couple of days. That was more than they had both hoped for. What a difference a couple of days can make. Only 3 days ago, Serena had been wrapped up in the prospect of losing Bernie, and now they were discussing her going home. Serena couldn’t believe her luck; everything was so good right now.

‘Auntie Serena?’ Jason called out to her as he heard the door opening.  
‘Yes Jason it’s me. I’m sorry I’m late.’  
‘It’s okay Auntie Serena. I understand.’  
Serena took her coat off and hung it on the rack. Taking her shoes off as well, she ran a hand through her hair. She was happy, happy but tired. The last few days had taken their toll on her. She went into the living room. Jason was sat in the armchair watching Pointless, but upon hearing the door squeaking as she opened it, he pressed the pause button.  
‘Have you been with Auntie Bernie?’  
‘Yes I have Jason. I’ve been with her all day.’  
‘How is she?’  
‘She’s doing well Jason. They are talking about bringing her home in a couple of days.’  
‘So there is nothing else wrong with her?’  
‘It would appear not.’  
‘That’s good. I’m so pleased Auntie Bernie will be okay.’  
‘Why don’t you come and see her tomorrow after your shift for half an hour? I’ll get us fish and chips on way home. Because I haven’t been here much lately.’  
‘Auntie Serena, its fine. Auntie Bernie needed you more than I did. But, in answer to your question, yes I would like that.’  
‘Good. Jason, would you mind if I didn’t watch Pointless with you? I am feeling really tired.’  
‘Auntie Serena, you’re rubbish at the answers anyway. So no I don’t mind, in fact I would prefer to watch it myself.’

Serena shook her head at Jason as she went upstairs to run a bath. She needed to have a good night’s sleep. The last few days, she had been dozing mainly at Bernie’s bedside. But tonight, she needed to get some sustenance, so she was on the top of her game.  
Sliding under the bubbles, Serena washed away 4 days of worrying that had built up all over her. Bernie was on the mend anyway, so tonight she had to look after herself. She was no good to Bernie if she keeled over from exhaustion. Her eyes were beginning to get heavy, the sooner she went to bed, the better.  
‘Auntie Serena! Auntie Serena!’  
Jason hammering on the bathroom door woke Serena from her sleep in the bath. It took her a minute to remember where she was.  
‘Auntie Serena!’  
‘Jason?’  
‘Auntie Serena, open the door!’  
‘Sorry Jason, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.’  
‘Open the door.’  
‘Okay.’

Serena grabbed her dressing gown off the back of the door and wrapped it around her. Grabbing the towel off the back of the toilet, she began to rub her hair dry and unlocked the door.  
‘Here Jason, I’m sorry.’  
‘Auntie Serena, you need to phone the hospital.’  
‘The hospital why?’  
‘They’ve been trying to ring you for the last hour and a half. But you aren’t answering your mobile.’  
‘It’s in my bag downstairs. Jason, what’s up?’  
‘It’s Auntie Bernie.’  
‘Bernie?’  
‘Auntie Serena you really need to ring them. Now.’  
‘Jason?’  
‘They rang the house and I spoke to them. But they said you need to ring them immediately. I think something is wrong.’

Serena bounded down the stairs 2 at a time, pulling her mobile phone out of her bag as she did so. 23 missed calls! Oh god, what could be so urgent. Punching in the number for the ward, she rang them straight away. Jason just sat on the stairs, listening to Serena on the phone in the living room. He hoped Auntie Bernie was okay. There was such a huge part of her missing when she wasn’t here. 

Serena put the phone down. Her whole world had just come crashing down around her. She had to get to the hospital right away, but was it too late? Her happy mood had crashed and she was back to worrying. What if? What if? So many scenarios, she had to get back to the hospital straight away, if only to stop those two words ringing in every part of her brain…


	24. Update

24.

Driving over to the hospital, Serena could barely concentrate. Her thoughts were on Bernie. Nothing else mattered to her in this moment besides her wife. She was the most important thing in the world to her, and right now, the hospital seemed to the place that was furthest away it had ever been. 

A honking of a horn made Serena aware of where she was. She was driving very slowly along the road, and cars were overtaking her and honking her as they went past. Serena pushed aside her worry about Bernie for the moment, she was no use to her if she was involved in a collision, or worst dead, as a result of a collision.

*********************************

Serena swore this waiting room would be the death of her. So much time she'd spent in here lately. Waiting for news of Ariana's birth, waiting for news of Bernies operation. And here she was again! Waiting for news of Bernie.

She'd flew into the ward so fast, to be told that Bernie was in theatre with Hanssen. How was she to know what was going on behind closed doors? Anything could be happening. Serena had no idea what was going on and she was at a complete loss. She didn't know how much more rollercoaster emotions she could handle. She was taking one step forward and two steps back. 

Pacing the floor, Serena listened out for any sign of movement in the corridor. The only thing she was rewarded with was the pounding of her heart and the rubbing of her soles on the carpet. Someone should along soon. If only she knew what was going on. All she'd been told on phone was that Bernie had developed 'complications' and Serena was needed there urgently. How could she have missed the phone calls? 

'Miss Campbell?'  
Serena turned around at the sound of his voice. Hanssen was stood there, still in his scrubs. He had obviously come straight from theatre.   
'Mr Hanssen? What happened? Is she okay?'  
'Ms Wolfe began to complain of pain shortly after you left. We gave her some medication but then she began to projectile vomit. Ms Naylor and myself have just been in theatre with her for the past hour.'  
'And?'  
'I am almost certain her pains and vomiting are as a result of AKF.'  
Serena's eyes widened as Hanssen said those words.  
'How? Why wasn't it picked up on?'  
'As you know Ms Campbell, it can onset very quickly. As in a matter of hours.'  
'I've been with her all day. Why didn't I pick up on something?'  
'Miss Campbell, this is not your fault. It's not anyone's.'  
'Hanssen, if I'd noticed I could have saved her a whole lot of pain.'  
'Serena, don't blame yourself. We could have all realised sooner.'  
'Where is she? Can I see her?'  
'She's in ICU.'  
'ICU?'  
'For her own benefit. We need her to respond to the medication we are giving her.'  
'Hanssen I know about AKF. I've had so many patients with it. She's going to die isn't she?'  
'I would think not. Ms Wolfe is a fighter, we know that.'  
'So what are we talking about? Dialysis?'  
'I think the best course of treatment is most possibly a transplant.'  
'Is it that possible?'  
'I should think so.'

Hanssen pager went off.  
'Miss Campbell, im needed back in theatre.'  
'Is it Bernie?'  
'No, it would appear that Ms Naylor has been taken ill, so I have to elucidate her patient.'  
'Can I see Bernie?'  
'Very soon yes.'

Hanssen left the room and Serena watched him go. She dropped to the floor, hugging her knees and banging her head against them.  
'This is all my fault, why didn't I see?'  
Bernie was gravely ill. Could things get any worst? Serena was about to face her toughest test yet? Just how far would she go, for the woman she loved?


	25. Broken

25: Broken

Just over 45 minutes later, Cameron joined Serena at the hospital. He'd been in the middle of a shift at St James when he'd had a call from Holby telling him to come here straight away. He'd phoned Charlotte but she was on a train from London so she wouldn't be here for a while.

'Serena?'  
'Cameron.'  
Serena rushed straight over to him and wrapped her arms around him. He responded straight away, needing to be reassured.  
'What happened?'  
'I've been with her all day. I left to get some rest and then it went wrong.'  
'This isn't your fault.'  
'Isn't it? I'm a doctor Cameron. I should have seen the signs.'  
'And my mum is as well. If she was in pain, why didn't she tell anyone?'  
'Yes, but..'  
'No ifs or buts. This is no ones fault Serena, especially not yours. Your devoted to my mum. You'd do anything for her.'  
'Yes I would. I would swap places with her right now if I could.'  
'Where is she?'  
'In ICU'  
'Have they said what's wrong with her?'  
'AKF.'

Of all the things Cameron had considered- AKF! That was a bolt from the blue.  
'Kidney failure?'  
'That's what Hanssen said.'  
'Mums going to be on dialysis.'  
'He thinks the best option is a transplant, and I think he's right.'  
'Transplant?'  
'It's better than dialysis. She'll have a chance at a normal life. More so than if she was in dialysis.'  
'But the risks with the surgery.'  
'There's risks involved whatever the treatment, surgery included.'  
'Is she going on the transplant register?'  
'I don't know. We have to discuss it with her. She's not awake yet. There coming to get me when she's awake. But she's going to be weak, her kidney isn't working, so this is a battle against time.'  
'I'm staying with you.'  
'I need to ring Alan. See if he can pop round to Jason. I'm not going anywhere either. Stay here please, I'll be right back.'  
'Of Course and if anything changes I'll let you know.'

********************************

After putting the phone down to Jason, Serena took a minute to gather her thoughts. Running through the options in her head. The best course of action was a transplant. It would give Bernie the chance of a normal life. But the donor had to be physically fit, able to survive the surgery and live with only one kidney.

Slowly, her clarity returned and after a minute of deep thought, she made her way back up to the waiting room.  
'Serena, the nurse just came in. Mums awake.'  
'That's great.'  
'Charlottes still stuck on the train. She's going to be here when she can. How's Jason?'  
'He's worried about Bernie. As we all are, but there's nothing he can do here so I told him to stay at home.'  
'Shall we?'  
'Yes, I need to see her.'

Cameron and Serena walked into ICU. Bernie was round the corner in the private bay. As Serena rounded the corner, a lump rose up in her throat. Bernie, the love of her life, was lying hooked up to all these machines. She was awake though. They'd removed the oxygen masks in favour of the tubes, meaning she could talk. Just about.

She saw her wife and son round the corner and she smiled. Bernie didn't know if she would ever see them again. In the midst of her pain, she was convinced she was dying. She reached out her hand and Serena ran over to her sobbing.  
'Bernie, im sorry.'  
'Serena?'  
'Mum, she thinks it's her fault.'  
'Serena, Serena, listen to me. This isn't anyone's fault. It's one of those things that happens. I'll be fine.'  
Bernie noticed as Serena and Cameron exchanged a glance.  
'What?'  
'Has no-one told you?'  
'Told me what?'  
'Bernie, you have AKF?'

Bernie stared at Serena in disbelief.   
'My kidneys? What?'  
'It happened in a rush and then the pain. They managed to stabalise you in theatre, but...'  
'How bad is it?'  
'Mum, they want you to have a transplant.'  
The conversation was stopped for a second as Bernie winced in pain, dropping Serena's hand and bringing it to her gut. After a minute the wave passed.  
'You alright Mum?'  
'It hurts. They're serious about a transplant?'  
'It's your best chance Bernie.'  
'But.. I could die. As could the donor.'  
'I know but surely it's worth the risk if it gives you a chance of a normal life?'  
'I don't want some stranger dying for me in the table. I'd rather take my chances with dialysis.'  
'Bernie?'

Serena's grip tightened around Bernies hand. She squeezed it so hard, she never wanted to let go.  
'Bernie?'  
'Serena, I can't let someone else do this. I could be fine with dialysis.'  
'Bernie, you know and I know that you're living on borrowed time with dialysis. And I can't lose you. I love you too much.'  
'Mum, Serena's right. It's the best option.'  
'Cam, I've nearly lost my life twice in the last week already. Surely it's better to cherish what time I have left rather than risking it all?'  
'Surely the risk is worth it though Mum?'  
'But I'm not sure it is.'  
Serena began to cry. She couldn't believe what she was hearing from Bernie. It was almost as if she'd given up hope.  
'Serena. Don't cry.'  
'You're giving up. Giving up on me. On us.'  
'Serena, I'm not. It's because I love you, that I don't want you to lose me.'  
'Don't you see? I'm going to lose you if you don't have the transplant?'  
'And how long will I wait for one? This is the NHS. Could be waiting years. And my kidneys get weaker and weaker.'  
'Maybe, maybe not. You have to take this chance Bernie. Otherwise you're giving up on us.'  
'I'm not giving up in us. I can't put you through anymore Serena. I love you more than my own life. Don't you get it?'

Serena burst into even more tears and ran out of the room. She had had an idea outside and wanted to tell someone before she gave up on it altogether. Bernie might be prepared to give up but she wasn't. They'd been through too much for her to just give up and accept defeat.

Bernie's heart sank as Serena dropped her hand and ran away. She hoped Serena would calm down and come back. People could live for years on dialysis. Why was she so upset? Bernie had put her through so much already, without adding all the stress and uncertainty of a transplant, that might not even be successful?

Bernie. Serena. Together they make Berena. But at this moment in time Berena was broken. While they were both looking out for each other, they were unintentionally hurting each other. Things couldn't get any worst for the two of them, could they? Serena was prepared to whatever it took to save Bernie, even if it meant risking her own life in the progress, because she couldn't face a life without her. But can Berena be fixed? Or is it broken beyond repair,


	26. Decision

26

Serena stood in the corridor running through what she was going to say. This was huge, could have consequences for so many people, but she couldn't see another way out. She'd pondered every single scenario, every single option she'd run through her mind and she felt this was the only way forward. For everyone. She'd made the decision. 

Serena took a deep breath and knocked on the door before she changed her mind.   
'Come in.'  
She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.  
'Ah...Miss Campbell, what can I do for you?'  
'I want to run something past you.'  
'Certainly. My door is always open. Please take a seat.'  
Serena closed the door behind her and sat in the chair opposite. She felt nervous all of a sudden. Would he even listen to her idea?

'I have come to a decision.'  
'A decision regarding what..?'  
'My current situation...'  
'Miss Campbell, as much as I love a brain teaser as much as anybody, I am unable to fully comprehend what you mean. I have the slightest inclination that this in regards to Ms Wolfe?'  
'Yes.'  
'Okay, then please, proceed...'  
'It's about what you said earlier. You know her needing a transplant.'  
'Yes, I did say that. I believe it to be the best course of treatment for her.'  
'So what happens with a donor?'  
'Miss Campbell, you know the procedures better than most people. Our obvious choice will be her immediate family.'  
'Charlotte only has one kidney herself. And Cameron, he isn't strong enough.'  
'So you have already given it some thought?'  
'Of course. I have thought of nothing else.'  
'So, what decision have you come to?'  
'I want to be the donor.'  
'You?'  
'Well why not? I have two perfectly good kidneys.'  
'Serena, its more complicated than that and you know it is. The risks are significant. Both to you and Ms Wolfe.'  
'I know that more than most; just like you said. But I think the benefits are worth it. Bernie could lead a normal life again. With me.'  
'Serena, you know that anything could happen whilst in theatre.'  
'I've been in theatre too many times Henrik. I've seen so many transplants. I know exactly what could happen. We could both die, but to me it's worth it.'  
'Are you quite certain?'  
'We could both die. I'm not an idiot. I'm aware of the risks. I need to take this chance though Mr Hanssen. I cannot stand by and do nothing.'  
'You are talking about risking your own life though Ms Campbell? Are you quite certain of this?'  
'I'm prepared to take the risk. She's worth it. Worth more to me than my own life. If I die and she lives, she gets the chance at a normal life. I would rather die than be without her for a single minute.'

'Amor est vitae essentia.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'It's Latin.'  
'Well I knew it wasn't English.'  
'Amor est vitae essentia... Love is the essence of life.'  
'Oh'  
'I thought it suited the occasion.'  
'Well your right. It's the essence of my life. And I can't stand by and not do something to help the woman I love. Please Henrik, say you'll let me do this?'  
'Well I can quite clearly see you've thought about it. But I must inform you, I alone can not say it's okay. I must let Ms Wolfe make the final decision. It's her that you will need to convince now.'  
'Don't worry I will.'  
'But, I will, as you put it, let you do this. I can see that nothing I say will deter you.'  
'Thank you Henrik.'

Serena was set on her decision. She had to try and do something to save Bernie. This was the only thing she could think of, and it was crazy but she didn't care.  
'Love makes fools of us all.' Those words fell back into her head. She was acting like a fool but it was coming from a place of love. She's convinced Hanssen, now came the mammoth task, convincing Bernie that this was the right thing to do? The right decisions for them both.


	27. Emotional

27: 

Bernie lay with in the bed with the blanket pulled up over her head. Serena hadn't come back last night after she'd ran out in tears. She knew she was angry with her. She knew Serena and Cameron wanted her to have a transplant but she didn't think she had it in her. To rely on a stranger to do something like this, the risks were huge. There was no guarantee she would survive anyway. Why couldn't Serena understand she was doing this for her? She's caused her enough pain already, she couldn't do it again to her.

'Bernie?  
Bernie heard the pain in Serena's voice. She sounded broken. Pulling the duvet down, she saw Serena standing about a foot away. Bernie could immediately see the effect it had had on her. She looked as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and it was obvious that she hadn't slept.   
'Serena?'  
'I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have ran out.'  
'It's okay.'  
'But it isn't Bernie. Whichever way we dress it up: nothing is okay.'  
'Serena, come here.'

Serena walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Bernie reached out and took Serena's hand, enclosing it in her own.  
'I hope you understand why I feel the way I do. I'm not doing for any other reason, than I love you.'  
'If you love me, why won't you do whatever you can to be with me?'  
'I love you, you know that. I don't want you to go through anymore. I've put you through enough.'  
'Bernie, I don't care what we have to go through. I need you to have a transplant. It's the best thing for you.'  
'And I don't agree. I could die. I can't put you through that. Leaving it all to chance. I'd rather have a reduced life with you on dialysis Serena, than putting all my eggs into one basket with the surgery and terminating that life sooner rather than later. Say you understand? I can't do this without your support.'  
'Why aren't you doing more to be with me? I'm doing everything I can to keep you here by my side for as long as possible.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'Okay, here goes. Before I tell you. Promise me something?'  
'What?'  
'Don't jump show my throat straight away.'  
'What have you done?'  
'Promise me.'  
'Okay.'

Serena took a deep breath and looked Bernie straight in the eyes.  
'We've found a donor.'  
'What? Serena, I told you..'  
'You said you'd listen to me'  
'But..'  
'We've found a donor. It's the best thing for everyone. A transplant is the best thing for you. You can live a normal life with me rather than living on borrowed time with dialysis. We can't just sit by and let you decide that you're not worth it.'  
'But Serena... where did you find this donor? Are they quite sure they know what this entails?'  
'Oh yes. They know the risks more than most.'  
'Hang on.... it isn't... please tell me...'  
'What?'  
'It isn't Cameron is it? Because if it is, I will not let him do this.'  
'No, it's not Cameron.'  
'Well then... how did Hanssen find the donor so quickly?'  
'Let's say they came to him.'

Bernie paused for a moment to take in what Serena said. Her eyes widened as she finally hit upon what Serena was trying to get at.  
'No, no, are you crazy?'  
'What?'  
'Please tell me I've got this wrong. You?'  
'No you haven't got it wrong.'  
'Serena, are you crazy? Please tell me this is some kind of wind up.'  
'You really think I would or even could do that? I'm deadly serious.'  
'But, you know the risks.'  
'Of course I do. But it's worth it.'  
'Serena, you could die. We both could. I can't let you do this.'

Serena was suddenly overcome with emotion. Her temper rose and she suddenly exploded.  
'And what am I supposed to do? Watch you die. What kind of wife would that make me? Bernie, I cannot sit by and watch you die and live half a life on dialysis. I can't do it. Not when there is something I know I can do to help you. You say you can't let me do this? I can't not do this for you. I love you. More than anything, you know that. I cannot sit by and watch you fade away before my eyes. It's not fair to me or you. When I married you, I said I would stand by you. I didn't make those vows light heartedly. I can't let you die. Bernie, please, please, let me do this for you'

Serena's voice broke and she began to cry. Bernie had tears in her eyes herself. She couldn't believe Serena was willing to do his for her. And risk her own life in the process.   
'I can't live without you.' Serena choked out the words.   
'Okay'

Doing a double take, Serena locked eyes with Bernie. They continued r stare at each other, letting the silence convey all of their emotions.


	28. Fight

28:

‘Excuse me?’  
‘I said okay.’  
‘Do you mean that?’  
‘Serena, I’m not in the habit of making jokes, not about things like this.’  
‘You’re really going to let me do this?’  
‘I don’t seem to have much choice Serena; you seem to have made up your mind.’  
‘I have made my mind, but of course you have a choice. I don’t want you to feel pushed into this.’  
‘I don’t want to cause you anymore hurt than I already have. It’s not what we’re about.’

Serena took Bernie's hand and brought it up to her heart.   
‘Feel that. What is that?’  
‘Is this a trick question?’  
‘No, what do you hear?’  
‘Your heart beating’  
‘Precisely’  
‘And?’  
‘Beating with what may you ask? I think you know, its love.’  
‘Love?’  
‘Yes. Love. My heart beats with all my love for you. It’s beating out of my chest; like it doesn’t belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. Amor est vitae essentia’  
‘What?’  
‘Amor est vitae essential; love is the essence of life. You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable; unbearable. It’s the driving force behind life, surely you know this already?’

Serena had got lost in the moment, trying to convince Bernie just how deep her love ran for her. She looked up at Bernie, trying to regain some control of her composure. She was surprised to see Bernie’s hazel eyes glossed over with a misty fog of tears. What she’d said had obviously hit a raw nerve.  
Bernie pulled Serena by the hand. Pulling her as close as she dared, she reached up and closed the gap between them. Serena was taken aback as Bernie initiated the embrace between them. It was the first kiss they’d both shared in days. All their pent up emotions over the last week flowed out of them, giving them more energy to continue the embrace. Serena never got tired of the feeling- like an electric current- strong, powerful and fast flowing. 

After a few minutes, Bernie was hit by a wave of pain and pushed Serena away, clutching her side as she did so.  
‘Bernie?’  
‘The pain is bearable. It comes and it goes.’  
‘Are you sure?’  
‘Kidney failure wasn’t going to be pain free was it?’  
‘Not on your nelly.’  
At those words, the hospital melted away. Suddenly Bernie was stood in Albies, all those years ago, when the two of them had become co-leads of AAU. Serena had proposed the idea, because as she had so eloquently pointed out, they were equals after all. Bernie had promised her she would never let her forget it. And here was Serena, reminding her of a time that was never far from both of their minds. The early days of their friendship, when Berena wasn’t so far away. 

‘Bernie?’  
‘Sorry… I was just remembering.’  
‘That evening in Albies?’  
‘Yes,’  
‘As was I, that’s why I said that. Are you still in pain?’  
‘Not really. As I said it comes and it goes.’  
‘Anyway, back to the topic. Are you 100% on board with this?’  
Bernie reached forward and grabbed Serena’s hands, interlocking her fingers with her own.   
‘I’m with you 100%. I know now that you love me too much to let me slip away. And if you have the courage to fight this to the point of risking your life. I should too’  
‘Really?’  
‘Serena, I love you. I just want you to be happy. I cannot cope with the idea of you being hurt or left alone. And yes this is risky, but if you’re prepared to take the risk of your own life to save me, then I am as well. Let’s do it’  
‘I love you’  
‘I love you as well.’  
‘I’m going to fight this all the way with you, as long as you’re with me, that’s all the inspiration I need.’  
‘So we have the fight of our lives yes?’  
‘Yes because it could possibly end up costing both of our lives, but I have to do this. I love you too much.’


	29. Always

29: 

Bernie opened her eyes. The gap in the curtains showed her the weather outside was miserable. Cloudy and overcast. Why couldn't it be a bright warm day? Turning over so she was lying on her back, she moved her head to her left. There was her own ray of sunshine right next to her. She knew with Serena by her side, she would never be doomed. 

The two of them had spent most of yesterday evening talking about the transplant. Ironing out all details and things that could possibly go wrong. They were both going into this with their eyes open- they weren't burying their heads in the sand. They both knew that there were significant risks but Serena was determined to do it regardless and Bernie was happy to do it if it gave her longer with Serena. Because that was all she could ever want.

For the next half an hour, she watched Serena sleeping. She looked different. The lines of care and worry had smoothed and virtually disappeared, while the crows feet beneath her eyes now but a memory. Eyelids closed against the dim light of dawn, her breathing deep and relaxed. All the muscles in her face were completely and totally at peace, like a baby in its first ebbs of sleep. Not a spasm, not a twitch; barely a movement of her breasts rising and falling, with each intake of breath was the depth of her oblivion. Serena's mind and body was for the moment totally at peace, currently rejuvenating and refreshing itself for another day. Refreshing itself for a day of possible toil.

After another hour, Serena began to stir. Opening her eyes she saw Bernie staring at her. Her eyes completely full of love and admiration.  
'Hey sleepyhead.'  
'Hey. What time is it?'  
'Just after 10'  
'What? Why didn't you wake me?'  
'I didn't want to disturb you. And I like watching you sleep.'  
'Awww, you'll make me blush.'  
'I don't care if you do blush. There's only me and you here.'

Serena reached over and went to enclose Bernies hands in her own. But Bernie had other ideas. She moved up carefully in bed, making room for Serena to sit down.   
'Are you in pain?'  
'No you numpty. Come here.'  
'What?'  
'Serena Campbell, I swear sometimes you should be blonde.'  
'No, that would deter attention from your beautiful hair. I'm quite okay with being a brunette thank you.'  
'I meant because you had blonde moments. I meant come and sit with me.'  
'Oh right okay.'  
Serena sat carefully on the bed, moving as close to Bernie as she dared.   
'I don't want to hurt you.'  
'You won't. I want you by me. I wouldn't have asked otherwise.'  
'Okay.'

Serena edged up right next to Bernie, bringing her legs up to rest on the bed. Wrapping one arm around Bernies shoulder she pulled her close to her.   
'Is that better?'  
'Yes'  
'Been a while since we've done this.'  
'Well we were broken. I can't stand it when we fight. That night without you is the loneliest I've ever been. You couldn't have felt further away.'  
'Hey, hey, it's okay. Bernie, we had a rough few days. But we're still here. Just like always.'  
'It's always the way isn't it.'  
'Our biggest test is to come yet.'  
'The transplant?'  
'Well yes; but first we have to tell the kids. Can you imagine what their going to say?'  
'Serena; they love us, so while I can't imagine they'll be thrilled with the idea of us risking our lives, I dare say they will understand.'  
'You are quite sure about this?'  
'Serena, how many times? I'm going to fight it for us. I promise.'  
'I love you.'  
'I love you too.'

Bernie closed her eyes and cuddled closer to Serena. This was the calmest she'd felt in ages. Yes, she didn't know what was going to happen on the future, but she and Serena loved each other to death. Quite literally as it could happen. 

They were about to have their biggest test to date but something told Bernie everything would be okay. Just as it always was.


	30. We're All In This Together

30: 

'Ellie?'  
Elinor turned around at hearing her name. Cameron and Charlotte were stood in the doorway. Jason was on shift til later. Bernie and Serena wanted to tell him away from the others anyway, he had a different way of processing things anyway.

'Cam, Charlie. What are you doing here?'  
'Serena called me. And told me to bring Charlie here. Where's the girls?'  
'Ruby's in the crèche. I got her from nursery on the way here. Jades with my dad and Lib. Haven't seen her properly yet. What about Ari?'  
'She's with my neighbour. She loves babies so it was easy to ask her to have her for an hour.'  
'I've got to get Toby from the childminder at 3. I'm hoping this doesn't take too long.'  
'What is this?'  
'I have no idea Ellie. But I hope it's not more bad news. I've had about as much as I can take.'  
Cameron put his arm around his sisters shoulder.   
'Ellie, Cam, Charlotte. You came.'  
Serena's voice in the doorway brought them out of their moment and snapped them to attention.  
'Mum, what's going on?'  
'Come with me. Bernie and I need to tell you something.'

********************************

Serena walked round to the side of the bed and took Bernies hand instantly. Cameron rushed over to his Mum and wrapped her in a hug. He could tell she was in pain. Charlotte ran over to her Mum in tears and hugged her sobbing into her. She walked back and grabbed Elinors hands. The two of them had become almost like sisters in the last few years. They had made each other godmother to Jade and Arianna.   
'Kids. I...We...need to tell you something.'  
'Is this about the transplant?'   
'Cam, let me finish. But yes it is. We have some news. And I don't know how you will all feel about it, but we want you to know we aren't doing it lightly.'  
'Mum, you're scaring me now. Please tell me.'  
'Charlotte, what your mum is trying to tell you all is that we have a donor.'

Cameron let out a sigh of relief and Elinor pulled Charlotte into her for a hug. Their Mum has agreed to a transplant. It was the chance she needed.   
'What made you change your mind Bernie?'  
'I did.'  
Elinor looked at her Mum and in the split second she realised what her mother was planning. Her eyes widened in horror.  
'Mum! Are you serious? Please tell me your not'  
'Ellie, we've talked it through. It's best.'  
'Best for who?'  
As Elinors temper began to rise, Cameron finally picked up on what Elinor was getting at.   
'Serena? Am I right in thinking you're the donor?'  
Charlotte looked straight at her brother and in that instant she knew as well.   
'Mum, pleas tell me this is a joke. You can't be serious?'  
'Ellie, I am deadly serious. I need to do this. It's the right thing.'  
'Right? It's not right. You could die, couldn't you?'  
'Yes, but so will Bernie if we do nothing.'

Elinor burst into tears. Cameron grabbed his mums hand.  
'Mum, are you sure about this.'  
'In truth, in scared Cam, but if Serena is prepared to risk her life, I am prepare to do the same. I am going with her. I love her.'  
'Then I'm with you both as well.'  
'Seriously Cameron?'  
'Serena, this is crazy. But if you love my mum enough to do this, who am I to stand in the way? I hope you know this is the start of a journey.'  
'Yes, this is going to be our biggest test yet. Thank you. Charlie? Ellie?'  
'Mum, I don't know what to say. I don't want you to die but I can't bear Serena risking her own health for you.'  
'Charlie, its a bad situation I know. But I have to take this chance with Serena. I need your support on this.'  
'Okay.'

Elinor was the last one to convince. She was stood with tears rolling down her cheeks.   
'Mum, I can't lose you. Please?'  
'Ellie, I'll be with you whatever happens. But I have to take this chance? I can't not. Bernie is my life, besides you and the kids. I am doing this with it without your blessing. I would really like to have you on board.'  
Elinor burst into tears and ran to her Mum.   
'Does this mean your on board?'

Elinor nodded tearfully and and threw one arm around her Mum. Charlotte leant over the bed and grabbed her other hand. Serena put one arm around her daughter and clasped Bernies hand with the other. Cameron outstretched his arm to his Mum and sister and they both took them.  
'We're all in this together.' Bernies voice interrupted the silence. The five of them say there saying nothing else. The five words meant everything to them and it conveyed all it needed to. Ther bond was as strong as ever. Now they had just one thing to face. Jason.


	31. On Board

31:

'Well that went much better than I had hoped.'  
'I told you they would come on board Hun.'  
'I didn't expect them to be so easy to convince.'  
'They love us. They can see how much we've thought about this. We have to take this chance. I can't sit by. But you know all this already. Why are we raking over the same ground?'  
'I don't know. I just thought they'd put up more of a fight. I'm so glad their on board.'  
'On board with what Auntie Bernie?'

Jason's unexpected voice interrupted Bernie and Serena's heart to heart. Serena turned around and waved him over. Bernie began to grin inanely.  
'Oh nothing Jason.'  
'Auntie Serena, you asked my employer to let me finish my shift 30 minutes earlier than in supposed to. May I ask why?'  
'Certainly Jason. You see, me and Bernie have something to tell you. And I want you to have time to get your head around it?'  
'Are you getting divorced?'

The look that passed between Bernie and Serena told Jason that that wasn't the reason.   
'Why would you think that?'  
'Most marriages are over after the five year mark Auntie Serena. They realise they made a mistake or simply don't live each other enough to do it anymore.'  
'Well that is not happening to me and Bernie. I promise. We will never get divorced. I love her too much'  
'Your Aunties right Jason. What we're about to tell you proves that'  
'Which is what exactly?'  
'Come and sit down.'

Jason walked over to the bed. Serena was sat next to Bernie with her arm around her. They'd adopted the position they had a few days ago. They needed to be close to each other in times of need, so they could draw strength from the other. Jason sat down in the chair opposite and Serena shifted slightly so she was sitting with her legs hanging over the side of the bed. She was more facing Jason.  
'Jason, you need to promise me that you will listen to what I have to say both of us.'  
'And I want you to be honest with what you feel Jason okay?'  
'Okay. Will one of you please jus tell me what is going on? Neither of you get to the point very quickly, but you are getting older I suppose, so I will forgive you for that?'  
'Okay, here goes. Bernie needs a transplant. Her kidneys are failing. She won't get better unless someone is willing to give one of their kidneys to her....'  
'You're going to be the donor of one of your kidneys right Auntie Serena?'

Serena's mouth was stopped mid sentence and her eyes flew from Jason to Bernie. Bernie was looking as perplexed as Serena.  
'Jason, how do you know that?'  
'You want to save Bernies life. You love her. That to me seemed the logical explanation.'  
'Logical?'  
'Well when you love someone as much as you two love each other, you would do anything for that person. Am I right?'  
'You are right Jason as always. Are you okay with this? There are risks to the transplant, we could both die?'  
'Well I'm sure you will have considered all the eventualities before making this decision. Only someone without a brain wouldn't do that. And although I know Auntie Serena has a very little brain, I trust you Auntie Bernie; to be the voice of reasoning.'

Bernie burst out laughing at Jason's comments about Serena's brain. His treatment of her and the way he said things so matter of factly was so amusing.  
'So is that a your okay with this?'  
Serena was determined to hesr it from Jason's mouth.  
'Yes Auntie Serena. Now, I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Then can we go home. It is fish and chips night.'  
'Yes. I should be heading home tonight anyway. Paperwork to do. Schedules to clear.'

Jason walked out of the room. As soon as he had gone, Serena breathed out and relaxed against Bernie, who instantly slipped her arms around Serena's neck and pulled her close. Kissing the top of her head, she held her hands up to Serena's heart.  
'You know what you said?'  
'About what?'  
'Your heart, about it belonging to me?'  
'Yes.'  
Bernie moved one of Serena's hands up to her own chest.  
'Mine is beating with love as well. I don't think my heart is mine anymore. It's yours. All of me belongs to you.'  
'We belong to each other. We're married, we're a partnership. We're a family. You make me a better person and I make you a different person.'  
'You make me the person I want to be. Always have done Serena and you always will do.'

Serena turned around to face Bernie. Taking her hand and interlocking their fingers, she reached up and gave her a kiss.  
'I love you. We're doing this together. Everyone is on board now.'


	32. Bonding

32: 

Ruby threw herself at Serena the minute her mum opened the door. Elinor had called round the minute Serena had got back from the hospital, after they’d broke the news to Jason about the transplant. Serena giggled and scooped Ruby up off the floor, planting kisses all over Ruby. Ruby laughed even harder and wrapped her arms around her nans neck, almost squeezing her to death. After a minute, Serena released her back to the floor and Ruby ran off to find her toys in the living room. Elinor was stood watching her mum with an almost reproachful look on her face. Jade was in her car seat, happily playing amongst the land of her dreams.   
‘Thanks for coming round.’  
‘Ruby’s been asking after you and Bernie for the last three days. I could only pacify her for so long. I told her Nanna Bernie wasn’t very well and in hospital. She’s too little to understand, I don’t want to worry her.’  
‘And quite right too. Come through, I’ll put the kettle on.’

Elinor followed her mum through to the kitchen, putting Jades car seat in the dining room on her way through. She would be able to hear her from the kitchen but Ruby wouldn’t wake her up with her crashing from the living room. She must have tipped her entire toy chest on to the living room floor. Serena decided to leave her to it. She was happy in her own world of make believe and play, so why disturb her? And besides, she wanted to chat to Elinor. Filling the kettle with water, she put it on to boil and then sat at the counter.

‘So…?’  
‘What?’  
‘How did Jason take the news of the transplant?’  
‘He’d already worked it out. I don’t know how, but it saved us having to tell him.’  
‘He knew already?’  
‘Well we started to tell him and he just came out with it. He said it was the logical solution because I love Bernie and would do anything to save her.’  
‘Well he right isn’t he?’  
‘Are you still okay with this? You can talk to me if you’re having doubts.’  
‘Mum, I’m not having doubts; I’m just scared for you. But I think we’re all scared. Cameron, Charlie and I are scared of losing our mums, Bernie and you are scared to be without each other. But we’ve all agreed to this because you’ve made up your mind.’  
‘It’s crazy I know, but I cannot sit by and watch my darling Bernie slowly slip away from me. We’ve had the best time since we’ve been together, and I cannot watch her live a half-life on borrowed time. I would be looking over my shoulder waiting to see the Grim Reaper ready to take her away from me. And I can’t do it Ellie, I just can’t. It’s all or nothing.’

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Bernie was lying on her side, watching the rain outside the window. She was missing Serena. This was the first night in 3 days shed spent apart from her, but Serena was still running AAU single handedly. And she had to cleat the breech for the next few months because they would both be recovering from the transplant. Hanssen himself was having Ric act as lead for AAU while they were both off, with Mr Levy acting as lead of Keller. Bernie couldn’t believe the lengths everyone was going to for her and Serena. She didn’t know why people were desperate to help them both, but she wasn’t going to turn them down.

The sound of the door opening made Bernie aware of someone behind her. She wasn’t expecting visitors. Turning over, she was shocked to see Charlotte walking in with Arianna in her car seat.  
‘Charlie, what are you doing here?’  
‘Ellie called me and said you and Serena had told Jason. And you haven’t see Ari in a while. I wanted you to see her, so I thought kill two birds with one stone.’  
Charlotte walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair. Unstrapping Arianna from her car seat, she pulled her close to her chest for a cuddle and extended her arms for Bernie to see. Bernie’s eyes became hazy with love as she stared into the face of her 9 week old granddaughter. Two big huge brown eyes stared back at Bernie from her daughters arm. Reaching out a hand, she touched Ari’s cheek and held her hand. Ari’s fingers tightened around one of Bernie’s fingers and she clung on for dear life. 

Charlotte sat there for a minute, watching her Mum and her daughter. Then Ari began to yawn so she reached into her bag and pulled out her blanket.  
‘That’s the one we bought you, when she was born.’  
‘I know, she won’t sleep without it. It’s her favourite.’ Charlotte wrapped the blanket around Arianna and placed her back in her car seat.  
‘How did Jason take the news?’  
‘He had worked it out. He said Serena being the donor was the logical thing because she loved me and wants to save me.’  
‘Hes right Mum. The love you have for each other is special. I wish I had someone like that, someone willing to risk their life to save mine.’  
‘You will one day. There is someone out there for everyone. Look at me and Serena. I love her more than anything. I’d go to the ends of the earth to make her happy.’  
‘As would she. I don’t know what a love like you two feel is like; a love to leave loved ones for, a love to cross oceans for, but I’d like to believe, if ever I were to feel it, that I’d have the courage to seize it. Just like you two did. The two of you have something so special.’

Bernies eyes were full of tears and she grabbed her daughters hand, mouthing thank you to her. 

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Serena and Bernie were both content with themselves at this moment. Bernie was ill and needed a transplant- Serena was happy to give a kidney. And while they were both going into this with their eyes open, neither one of them had really considered what would happen if something went wrong. Serena had said it was all or nothing. The next few weeks would test how strong that resolve was. Would they get their happily ever after, or was their yet more twists to come, because after all, the course of true love never does run smoothly?


	33. Hurting

33: 

Three weeks passed and the day of the transplant edged nearer. All the preliminary tests had been done and Serena was deemed fit to be a donor. While she was anxious about what was coming, she couldn't wait for Bernie to be healthy again so they could go back to being the healthy couple they had once been. 

Bernie hadn't left the hospital since she'd been admitted. She was going crazy staring at the same four walls over and over again. She was missing Serena, AAU and the rest of her family. She was driving herself to the brink of despair. She was scared because the world was coping without her and if she was away too much longer thy may decide that they didn't need her.

Serena was too busy popping between the ward, her home and Bernie to actually notice that her wife was retreating further and further into herself. Bernie had spent over a month in hospital and she was imagining all sorts of scenarios, especially on AAU. They were coping without her, would they replace her? What if they decided hey didn't need her? What if? What if? Those two words had such a drastic impact on Bernie, especially when she was in as she called it 'confinement' with no visitors. She knew she was ill and she wasn't taking anything away. She was just missing interactions and the job she lived so much. But most of all, she was missing Serena, and seeing her every day. Most

*********************************

Serena pushed open the door of Bernies room, after hearing no reply when she'd knocked. She hadn't been expecting anyone to be in there, so she was shocked when she saw Bernie lying in the bed with the covers pulled over her head.   
'Bernie?'  
She heard a sniff and Bernie pulled the covers down.   
'Hey. I wasn't expecting you.'  
'Well the ward is quiet. Are you alright?'  
'Yes.'

Serena walked over to the bed and could tell Bernie had been crying.  
'What's wrong?'  
'Nothing.'  
'Bernie, don't start that with me. You've been crying'  
'I haven't honest, I'm fine.'  
'You're clearly not. Talk to me, what's wrong?'  
'I'm fine.'

Serena sat down in the chair and stared at Bernie for a minute, before leaning over and taking her hand, enclosing it between her own.  
'This is me you're talking to Bernie. Stop shutting me out. You're not fine. You've been crying. I'm not stupid. Why won't you talk to me? I don't get it?'  
'Because....'  
'Because what?'  
'It's silly.'  
'Bernie, what is it? Talk to me. Baby, nothing is that bad. Please, I can see you've been crying. You know how much I love you. I hate seeing you upset. Tell me what I can do.'  
'I don't think you can do anything.'  
'Well tell me and I'll be the judge of that?'   
'I feel like I'm useless.'

That wasn't what Serena was expecting. She thought Bernie was having second thoughts about the transplant.  
'Useless?'  
'I feel like I'm useless. I should be running the ward with you, be by your side. And I'm not, I'm stuck in here.'  
'Baby, you know that's not true. You're ill.'  
'I know, but the world is going along without me. AAU is running fine without me. If I'm not back soon, I will be replaced, I know it.'  
'Replaced? What?'  
'Because I'm supposed to run the ward with you. I'm your wife and your equal. We're supposed to run it together, and I've left it to you. What kind of partner does that make me?'  
'My wife, who I love more than anything in the world. You're ill through no fault of your own. We're managing without you. But there's always a space for you. You know that right?'  
'I thought I did, but I've been away for over a month now, and I am going to be away for longer until after the transplant. I just think that by the time I'm fully recovered, I'll be past it.'  
'Bernie, where is all this coming from? You were fine last time I saw you.'  
'No I wasn't, you were just too busy to notice. Too busy for me.'

Bernie immediately sat the hurt in Serena's eyes. They became foggy with tears. Serena withdrew her hand and folded her arms across her chest, almost sealing herself away.   
'I didn't mean that.'  
'Didn't you?'  
'No...'  
'I think you did.'

Serena stood up and walked out of the room before she retaliated. She heard Bernie calling her name but she didn't stop. Slamming the door behind her, she leaned against it. She leaned against the door and felt the tears begin to slide down her cheeks. Why was Bernie being so callous and hard? It was like she'd built up a wall again and Serena was trying to break it down. But that didn't stop it hurting. Like it did right now.

Bernie watched Serena leave without looking back. The door slammed and she jumped. Then she heard the muffled sobbing from the other side of the door. She had been so hard on Serena, why? Why did she always do this? Especially when Serena was risking her own life for Bernie? But would she even do that now? What if Serena decided she wouldn't donate her kidney now. What if?

*********************************

While a door was the only thing that separated them, in that moment they couldn't have been further apart. They were both hurting and feeling miserable and they were taking it out on the person closest to them, each other. Berena are stronger than this, aren't they? Could they get past the hurt and emotion they were feeling and come back together? Or was the emotion so overwhelming for Bernie that she'd well and truly scuppered her chances of a normal and happy life?


	34. Love Conquers All

34: 

Serena didn't come back that night and Bernie was heartbroken. She honestly thought she'd blown it with her. She had cried herself to sleep, hoping against hope that when she woke up everything would be okay, and Serena would be back by her side, holding her hand. But she wasn't.

Bernie was beside herself. She knew she'd crossed a line by saying Serena was too busy for her. Serena had done everything for her. She was giving her a kidney for gods sake. What more proof did she need that Serena loved her more than anything? She knew she had to do something to put it right. 

Picking her phone up off the cabinet next to her, she rolled on to her back in the bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Dialling Serena's number she cursed herself when she heard Serena's voicemail.  
'Serena it's me, look yesterday, I'm sorry. I just feel so useless sitting in this bed doing nothing. Everything's been put on you and that's not what being equals is. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I cried myself to sleep last night worried about how much I'd upset you. Please please call me back or message me. I really didn't mean it. I was taking my hurt out on you and I have no right. I love you. More than anything. Call me.'  
Bernie put the phone back; pulled the duvet over her head and let the tears fall, wondering why she always got herself into the mess she did. 

*********************************

Two hours later, Bernie returned from her MRI scan. They were taking them every few days just to be on the safe side. After she'd been helped back into bed, she rolled over onto her side and stared out the window. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts; she hadn't seen the figure behind the door. They walked over to her and bent down to whisper in her ear.  
'I got your message.'

Bernie rolled over and saw Serena standing over her. She looked like she'd been tossing and turning all night and she'd been crying a lot as well.  
'You're here'  
'Where else would I be? You're my wife, I love you.'  
'You do?'  
Serena sat down on the edge of the bed and took Bernies hand.   
'Of course I do. We had a silly argument. And yes you upset me but I know you didn't mean it. I cried myself to sleep last night as well. I wanted to be here.'  
'Why didn't you come? I was almost hoping you would.'  
'I nearly did but I couldn't. I was upset and I didn't want to say anything. That's why I left yesterday. It upset me so much.'  
'So you weren't angry?'  
'Not really. More upset than angry. But that went when I heard your message. My heart broke when I heard the tears in your voice.'  
'Why didn't you ring me back?'  
'I wanted to do something first before I did. I'll be back in a second.'

Serena walked out the room and came back a second later carrying a box.   
'What's that?'  
'Open it and find out?'  
'Is this a joke or something?'  
'And Jason tells me off for 100 questions. Open it.'  
'Okay.'  
Bernie pulled off the ribbon on the box and tentatively pushed off the box lid. The first thing on top of the box was a card. A collage of everyone on AAU. All the photos Serena has used for Bernies birthday present.   
'Open it.'  
Bernies hands were shaking as she opened the card and read all the messages in it. Fletch, Raf, Morven, Jason, Hanssen, Ric. They'd all written how she was irreplaceable and they couldn't wait to have her back. She smiled as she read Rafs message about Ric cracking the whip. He said he needed her back because no one else could stand up to him. 

Serena reached into the box and pulled out the survival kit that Bernie had given to her all those years ago.  
'You've still got this?'  
'Of course. Was the first present you ever got me. I've treasured it. It helped me, now I need it to help you, help you realise just what effect you have on people.'  
'Serena, what is all this?'  
'Look what else is in the box.'

Bernie pulled out the photo from their wedding. How in love and happy they looked.  
'Serena?'  
Serena put down the kit and took both of Bernies hands, squeezing them hard.  
'Does this show you how much we need you? How much we love you? You are not useless at all. Why you even began to think we would replace you I have no idea? We could never do that. I, certainly couldn't, I couldn't run AAU without you. And I wouldn't want to. Like I told Elinor the other day, it's all or nothing. Bernie, I love you and you were right yesterday. I was too busy to notice you were upset and I'm sorry. I was trying to push ahead with the transplant to cut the pain and i accidentally caused you more pain. Can you forgive me?'  
'Can you forgive me?'  
'I'd forgive you anything. I love you.'  
'And I love you. I really am sorry about yesterday.'  
'Hey, hey, don't worry, it's fine. I forgive you. I love you. We should guiding each other through this. I've never in unchartered waters before, with everything on the line. But as long as I've got you by my side, I can handle the sharks and the tidal waves approaching.'  
'We'll tackle them like we tackle everything, together.'

Serena leant forward and kissed Bernie before wrapping her arms around her and soothing her as she had began to cry.  
'It's okay, I'm here now. Everything's going to be fine I promise.'

*********************************

Serena and Bernies relationship had its ups and downs, but what relationship didn't? It would be no fun if every relationship was perfect, but none of them ever are. I guess what they say is true, love conquers all. 

They loved each other, that was all that mattered. And with the transplant just around the corner, their love would guide them through the dark days that lay ahead. But fate was ahead of them. The transplant would leave one of them fighting for their life and would their love for each other be enough to fight against the waves? Or would they drown trying to save each other?

Only time would tell.


	35. Day Before

35: 

Two further weeks and Serena worked her last shift on AAU. The transplant was tomorrow. She'd be having a couple of weeks off now to recover after the transplant and hopefully Bernie would be back not long afterwards. 

As she sat in the office, she looked around the office. This place was her home, but it had become uninviting without Bernie here. She didn't know how she'd coped for the four years before Bernie had arrived. It didn't seem possible because they were such a close knit team now.

'Serena?'  
Raf and Fletch popped their heads around the door. She smiled and waved them in and then laughed sadly when she saw they were holding a cake with a candle in.  
'Call this a temporary goodbye present...'  
'We were going to go with the obvious choice of Shiraz but with your op tomorrow we thought we best not. So this will do, right Fletch?'  
'My kids made it last night.'  
'I love it, thank you.'  
They placed the cake down in front of her.  
'Go on then, make a wish.'  
Serena closed her eyes and thought for a moment before making her wish.

'I wish for everything to go back to normal. Me and Bernie together.'

Blowing out the candle. she brushed away a tear from her eye.  
'Thank you.'  
'It won't be the same without you, either of you. I hope you realise that.'  
'You're leaving us with Ric. How could you do this to us?'  
'But jokes aside, Fletch and me think what you're doing is incredible. It's amazing. And more people should be like you. Take action to save their loved ones.'  
Serena got out of her chair and wrapped her arms around the two of them, only for a brief moment, but it was enough for them to know she still had their backs and they would always have hers. AAU, was after all, their baby and they had all nursed it for it to become to the well oiled machine it was now.

*********************************

Pushing open the door to Bernies room, she smiled when she saw Bernie sat staring at the door, obviously waiting for her.  
'Hey you.'  
'Hey yourself. Where's Cam and Charlotte?'  
'Cams been called to work and Charlie's at Ellie's. They wanted to be with each other tonight.'  
'Their like sisters.'  
'I know. They always will be, even after we're no longer here.'

Serena walked over to Bernie and wrapped her arms around her. Breathing in the smell that was so 'Bernie Wolfe' she smiled as she became immediately intoxicated.   
'Don't say that.'  
'Say what?'  
'About us not being here.'  
'It will happen sometime Serena, we never know when.'  
'I know but I don't want to think about it.'  
'Neither do I but we have to face facts. Everyone dies at some point.'  
'I know but still....'  
'Sorry, I'm being morbid. How is everyone in the ward?'  
'Missing you like crazy. Fletch and Raf bought me a cake earlier as a way of saying goodbye.'

Serena released Bernie from the hug and sat down next to her in the chair, taking her hand as she did so and intertwining their fingers.  
'I get butterflies every time you hold my hand'  
'Still?'  
'Yes, still, five years later. Every time feels like the first time. Just like when we kiss'  
'Shall we test that theory?'  
Bernie returned Serena's smile as she leant forward and closed the gap again between them. 

After a moment, Bernie broke away, gasping for breath.  
'Yes, every time feels like the first time. God I love you.'  
'And I love you. God I'm waiting for all this to be over, so we can get back to normal?'  
'I can't wait for that either. Me and you, a lifetime together. It's all I want.'  
'It's all I want too, but it's all I need to survive. You, by my side.'

Bernie returned Serena's smile and grabbed her hands, holding on to them as if her life depended on it. Well soon, it would for one of the them, but for which one and in what circumstances?


	36. Define

36: 

Serena and Bernie had spent the night on Bernies bed together. Serena had laid down beside Bernie and the two of them had drifted off to sleep, only to wake up co-incidentally at exactly the same moment. They'd spent the small hours of the night with their arms around each other talking.

Morning crept up on the two of them. It was the morning they'd been waiting to come for weeks. They were only aware of anything other than each other when the shadows of the streetlights outside the curtains disappeared with the onset of the daybreak. Then the chorus of birds started their usual morning song. Bernie looked over her shoulder and then looked back to Serena.   
'Morning already?'  
'Time flies when you're having fun eh?'  
'Tell me about it Hun. Well today's the day. No going back now.'

Serena pushed Bernies hair out of her eyes and caressed the side of her cheek.   
'I wouldn't want to go back. Maybe this is he way things were meant to be. We will never know, but this is what's going to happen. In a few hours we'll both be in recovery after the op. You will have one of my kidneys and a part of me forever.'  
'Serena. I love your optimism but I can't share it. What if something goes wrong?'   
'And what if it does right? This will give you such a brand new lease of life.'  
'But what if something happens?'  
'And what if it doesn't? I'm sick of these two words. What if? They don't define us. We define ourselves. We make our own luck. And I refuse to believe that our story ends here.'  
'You can't write your next chapter until you stop reading the last one.'

Serena had never heard those words from Bernie before. She was a little shocked.  
'What?'  
'Something my mum said to me once. We can't move on until we stop dwelling on the past.'  
'Wise woman your mother.'  
'Apple doesn't rock from the tree. Something in the Wolfe genes I suppose.'  
'You said I reminded you of your mother once'  
'That wasn't in a good way but if you want to believe that to make yourself feel good, you go ahead Hun.'

Serena laughed fondly as she caught Bernies hand before sitting up and pulling on her coat.  
'Do you have to go?'  
'Hun, I have to go home and get my stuff. I don't want to be away from you for a second longer than I have to but this is for the good of us. For me to have you by my side. For you to have a life with me. For our kids. And Ruby, Toby, Jade and Ari.'  
'Our family.'  
'Yes our family.'

Bernie sat up in the bed, hugging her knees with one arm and holding Serena with the other.  
'This feels like a dream; I still can't believe this is happening. That you're doing this for me.'  
Serena laughed quietly and pinched Bernie lightly on the arm.  
'Oww.. what was that for?'  
'See; no dream. This is very real. And it's happening today.'  
'I know.'  
'I really have to go now.'

Serena gave Bernies hand one last squeeze and got up off the bed. She walked to the door before turning around.   
I love you Bernie, remember that.'  
'And I love you Serena. To the moon and back. I'd do anything for you. I'll see you later.'  
'That's a promise.'  
'I'm holding you to that.'  
'Wouldn't expect anything less major.'

Serena blew a kiss at Bernie and within a heartbeat she was gone. As he door closed behind her, the two of them silently wondered if that was the last they would ever see of each other. Pushing the thoughts away, they focussed on what today could mean for the two of them, should they both survive. The return to a normal life. Serena was right. They defined who they were as individuals, not words.

Words don't define who we are as individuals. So what if, as powerful as they were, they were after all just words. And they couldn't do any real damage to Berena. The real damage could be done later that morning under the knife. But if everybody just kept the faith like the two of them were, everything would be fine right?


	37. Cost

37: 

The sound of the rain hammering against the window was the thing that stirred Bernie from the depths of her slumber. Pulling her back to the world from which she'd left with so much hanging over her. She'd been flying away over the skies with Serena but that world faded away as the hammering of the rain became louder and louder as the anaesthetic wore off. 

Hands tightened around her hand. Serena, it had to be. The hammering got so loud it felt like it was ringing in her ears. Her eyes opened. The same white tiles of the ceiling, she'd grown accustomed to after so long in the hospital.

Blinking in the harsh light of the room, her eyes adjusted to the sudden change as she looked around. It wasn't Serena at her side but Cameron. Serena would be in recovery as well somewhere. But she should be awake as well any time now and Bernie was anxious to hear how the operation had gone and whether it was a success. 

'Cam?'  
'Hi Mum. Long time no see. You've been out for 22 hours.'  
'Have I?'  
'How are you feeling?'  
'Drowsy, like I've just done a 20 hour shift on AAU with no shift.'  
'That'll be anaesthetic. Hanssen himself came to check on you a couple of hours ago.'  
'Hanssen was here?'  
'Yep. He popped in on his break. He wanted to check how you were going.'  
'How's everyone? Jason? Where's Charlie?'  
'Jason is fine. He's with Alan.'  
'And Charlie?'

Cameron looked down at the floor which immediately raised Bernies suspicions.   
'Cam? Where's Charlie?'  
'She's with Ellie.'  
'With Serena? How is she? Did it go okay?'  
'Mum, you need to listen to me now.'  
'What, what is it? Had something happened?'  
'Serena gave you her kidney and yes that was a success. It's responding well in your body which is a big weight off my mind, but..'  
'What is it?'  
'Serena arrested.'

Bernies blood ran cold at that statement.   
'Arrested? You mean, she's dead?'  
'No; they saved her, but she's in ICU. Ellie is with her, and Charlie went with her for support. It isn't looking good Mum. There's been no movement, and while her brain is registering activity she hasn't made any effort to respond.'  
'What?? What happened?'  
'She had an allergic reaction to her anaesthetic. So she was starved of oxgygen and her heart gave up.'  
'I have to see her.'

Bernie tried to sit up in bed but a wave of pain forced her back on to her pillows.  
'Mum, you're in no state to go anywhere. Charlie said she'd call with any news. Listen to me. Don't let Serena's wish for you end. She wouldn't want that. You know she wouldn't.'

********************************

Ellie hadn't left her mums bedside. Ruby and Jade were with her dad and Lib. Seeing her mum hooked up to all these machines made her so upset. This was what she had been afraid of. 

Charlotte was beside her. She'd been here every step of the way with Ellie, they were after all like sisters. Her phone buzzed.  
'Mums awake.'

Elinor leant forward and whispered in her mums ear.  
'Bernies awake Mum. You did it. You saved her. Now you need to make yourself better. Please please come back. You're strong enough to fight this. I know you are.'  
Elinor broke down and Charlotte leant forward and wrapped her arms around her.

The transplant had been a success but to what degree? Bernie was alive but Serena was a different story. It had been her wish for Bernie to have one of her kidneys. But had it been done at the cost of her own life?

She'd managed to save the woman she loved but she was now fighting the fight she'd desperate wanted to save Bernie from, and there was no one to save her.


	38. Magic Touch

38: 

Bernie couldn't believe what she was hearing.   
'Cam, I have to see her.'  
'Mum, you're in no state to be going anywhere. Listen to me. Serena's wish was for you to have her kidney. You need to stay and get better. Please listen to me. You need to be rational.'  
'Cameron, how can I possible be thinking rationally? Serena gave up everything for me to have her kidney and she's risked her own life as a result. I have to see her. I have to see for myself what kind of state she's in. Please, I can't lie here and do nothing.'  
'You're going nowhere.'  
'But...'  
'No buts. Look, I will go and see Charlie, see Serena for myself and come back and update you?'  
'Cam that's not enough. I have to see her. I have to. I can't explain it.'  
'Well I'm not going to let you.'

Bernie was taken aback by Cameron's attitude. He was normally so laid back.  
'Cam? Why are you being like this?'  
'Mum. You're not thinking straight. It was Serena who wanted this. And by this I mean you having her kidney. She knew the risks, you both did. She wouldn't want you risking yourself after the operation. And I'm making sure that doesn't happen. I will go now and see Serena, check on Charlie and Ellie. I promise I'll be straight back.'

He gave his mum a quick hug before running out of the room. Bernie waited for a minute before making a decision. She loved Serena too much to let her down. Serena had been there through her kidney failure. It was her turn to be strong herself. She was going to see Serena. She'd get someone to take her.

*********************************

Across the hospital Ellie was asleep at her mums bedside as she had been the whole night. She had spent most of the night holding her mums hand whispering to her about silly things, hoping to see some sort of spark from her Mum. That this brilliant thing she'd done hadn't resulted in her being a vegetable. It was more than she could handle. 

Cameron opened the door and stood for a moment taking in the sight in front of him. Serena hooked up to the machines. All the wires monitoring her brain activity, her blood pressie, heartbeat and everything else. It wasn't what he had expected, despite being up to date on the progress. His mum couldn't be here now. It would break her to see Serena here like this.

Elinor stirred and woke up with a jolt.  
'Sorry, did I wake you?'  
'No I've been dozing all day. I can't leave Mum. Even in my dreams I'm not really leaving her.'  
'Where's Charlie?'  
'She had to go and get Ari. Your dad said he'd look after her overnight. So I told her to go.'  
'Why didn't you call me? You shouldn't be on your own.'  
'You were with your Mum. How is she?'  
'She's awake that's the main thing. She didn't take the news about Serena too well, I knew she wouldn't. She needs to get better. I don't want your Mums wishes to go unfulfilled.'  
'Cameron, she's not dead'  
'I know but we have to face facts and if it should happen, I want your mums wish for Bernie to have her kidney to be fulfilled. If mums prepared to risk her own life again after everything that happened- then it's pointless.'  
'You're right, but really? Can she stay away?'

Cameron gave Elinor a small smile as he sat down in the other chair next to her.  
'I'm not suggesting she stay away. Just until she's well enough to handle what she's going to see. If she breaks down and her body rejects the kidney, everything they've both done accounts for nothing.'  
'I'm a big girl Cam. I can handle more than you think'

Cameron and Elinor turned around and saw Bernie say in a wheelchair being pushed by a porter. He made it clear with his hands that Bernie had put him up to it.  
'Mum! What did I say?'  
'Went in one ear and out the other.'  
Elinor answered the question for him and walked over to Bernie. Grabbing her hands and squeezing them, she wheeled her over to the side of the bed.  
'As much as you want to protect your Mum Cam, my mum could be dying and the one person she'd want here is Bernie. Bernie, do you want a minute?'  
'You can stay if you want Ellie.'  
'No, I need to use the toilet anyway. And phone Dad about the girls. Cameron does as well. And Mum will be fine with you. You love her as much as I do.'  
'Well you're right Ellie. Don't be too long, but I'll take care of her I promise.'

Elinor walked out of the room taking a begrudging Cameron with her who didn't look very happy. Bernie sat for a moment taking in the sight of the woman she loved fighting for her life against all these machines. She wanted to hold her hand but couldn't bring herself to. Instead she curved her hands into fists and leant forward, wincing slightly in pain but ignoring it.

'Serena, Serena. Oh my beautiful Serena. What have you done to yourself? And all for me? I was stupid to imagine everything would be okay and stupid to let you talk me into this. Because now it looks like I've lost you for good. I can't do this by myself. Anything. You're my world. I can't cope without you. The machines are keeping you alive but I know you're in there. Come back to me. Come back to us. We need you. You said I was he Heart of the AAU, but your my support system. And if that is cut off, the heart will die. If your cut away from me; that will happen to me. I can't stress how much I need you. I love you. I couldn't not come and see you. Please, I need you more than you know.'

Bernie felt a tear drop into her hands. Opening her hands, she moved one to wipe away the tears and the other touched Serena's hands. Suddenly the machine beeped. Her heart rate had increased. With one touch from Bernie. 

Bernie jumped. What was going on? Serena's heart rate had increased. Had she heard what Bernie had said, or was some magic at work that couldn't stand seeing the two of them like this? Broken and desperate. Just like they'd been before they found each other.

It was a magic touch. It doesn't happen very often but Bernie and Serena's love was magic. They had proved that in their determination to be with each other against all the odds. Magic touch had increased Serena's heart rate, but their was still a long way to go before they could ever be back to what they had before.


	39. Against The Odds

39: 

Bernie couldn't believe what had happened earlier. One touch from her and Serena fought back. There was still such a long way to go, but it filled her with such joy that Serena's heartbeat had increased when she'd touched her. Almost like a jump start. 

Elinor had come back from the toilet to find Serena's monitors beeping and at first she thought something had happened.  
'Bernie. What's happened?'  
'Oh Ellie. I have to tell you.'  
'Tell me what? Is it bad?'  
'No, far from it. I was having a cry and spilling my guts out to Serena as always. Laid my heart on the line saying how much I need her and I can't cope without her. Then I touched her hand and the monitors started beeping. Her heart rate increased, almost back to the normal rate.'  
'Hang on? She's almost breathing back to normal?'  
'Yes; its brilliant isn't it. I know we're not out of the woods yet but it's a step in the right direction.'  
'It's because you're here. You're the reason she's fighting.'

Elinor walked back to Bernie and put her hands on Bernies shoulders, squeezing them, before sitting down in the chair next to the bed. Leaning over she grabbed her mums hands.  
'Mum? I know you're in there. Your coming back to us all. Bernie is here. She won't be going anywhere. And neither will I. We're here. Every step of the way.'

*********************************

Bernie had wanted to spend the night at Serena's bedside but they wouldn't allow it. After a few hours of sleep, she had to have an MRI to check on the progress of the kidney. Thankfully it was all systems go on that front. Her kidney failure was relatively higher and her blood pressure was at normal. 

After the scan; she'd gone straight to see Serena. Jason had been there on his break to see Serena, but Bernie could tell he was finding it difficult. His analytical mind was struggling to digest the fact that this was his beloved Auntie Serena and she might not ever be the same again.

Jason had left to go back to work, leaving Bernie on her own. Elinor had had to go and get the girls from her dad cause he'd been called to work. Charlie has suggested going to the park so she could keep an eye on Ellie: and Ruby could have a run around as well. 

For a while Bernie had sat there afraid to touch Serena's hands in case yesterday had been a fluke. So many worries going through her mind. So many possibilities of Serena ending up. Bernie hated being alone with her thoughts. In the end she leaned forwards and grabbed Serena's hands without thinking.

'Serena? I know you're in there. You heard me yesterday and your heart increased. I know you heard me and that's amazing. You're fighting for us, fighting to come back to me. Against all the odds. People thought we'd never make it, but we've surprised them all. You wonderful woman, you've saved my life. Against the odds. You've saved me. I need you to save yourself. If I could I would in a heartbeat, but I can't.'

Bernie moved a hand to brush her fringe from her eyes and a tear dropped on to the bed sheet.  
'If they were to look at me now, they'd see an empty space. Where you should be. But you're not. It's a memory of your face and how we used to be. Take a look at me now. Cause there's just an empty space. And you coming back to me, might be against all odds, but it's a chance of got to take.'

Bernie began to cry again.   
'Rick Astley. One of your favourites remember. I lived it when you sang this to me last Christmas at the works party, and while I can't sing it it back to you. I just said it so I can embed it into you. Cause I mean it. It doesn't make sense but it's what we have to do.'

Something inside Serena was yearning to see Bernie again, and jr was almost as if Bernies emotional speeches pulled her more out of her 'zombified' stage and into herself. For at that moment; her hands began to flex around Bernie.

Bernie felt the squeeze and looked up. Serena was clasping into her hand very loosely but still; progress is progress. Against all the odds Serena was fighting to come back. Against all the odds Bernie had managed to save Serena. Against all the odds, Berena was still around and more in love than ever. But there is so much more to come.


	40. Struggling

40: 

Three days passed and Serena continued to improve gradually. Even if they were very small improvements. Serena was growing stronger with every day that passed and that was all Bernie could ask for. Her heart rate was almost back to normal and there's been signs of her coming round yesterday. But Bernie thought she'd been imagining it. Serena was in a 'zombified state' and couldn't hear anything. Could she?

Five days after the operation, Bernie was improving so much more. She could walk for periods of time without the crutches or without the wheelchair. Not that she was walking anywhere for very long. Every spare minute was spent at Serena's beside. She hated leaving Serena there on her own. Elinor, Jason, Cameron and Charlotte had all been visiting. Elinor and Jason had stayed as much as they could but Elinor had the girls to look after and Jason was struggling to cope. Thank his he had Alan who could help, especially while Bernie was in hospital.

Anyway, on the fifth day Bernie had spent most of the afternoon at Serena's beside holding her hand and talking to her. Bernie looked again and again but today she could only see the Serena hooked up to the machines. There was no sign of life. Like the lights were switched on but here was no one at home. 

Bernie was feeling down this afternoon. She needed some reassurance that Serena was still in there. That her getting better wasn't all in vain. Running one hand through her hair, she squeezed Serena's hand so tight she could well have been shutting off the blood supply to it.  
'Serena? It's me. I'm still here. I'm struggling without you. What I said the other day. Every word is true. Against all odds you were coming back to me. And now nothing. I can't see the sparkle in you today. You are still in there aren't you? I can't do any of this alone, without you? Please, just give me something I can work with. Please? I love you.'

Bernie was so wrapped up in her words, she hadn't heard the door open behind her. Morven stood with the flowers in her hand, with tears running down her cheeks.  
'Ms Wolfe?'  
Bernie turned around to see Morven stood there. She smiled at her and waved her over to the other side of the bed. Morven walked over, putting the flowers on the end of the bed.  
'How is she?'  
'In truth, I don't know. She's making progress but I haven't seen any spark of life for a day or so now.'  
'She's still in there. You must know that. The fact she's still clinging on despite her heart stopping on the table must be proof of how strong she is.'  
'It is'  
'I know what it's like. All this watching and waiting. Arthur was exactly the same. And our time was cut short. Our story ended before it had really begun. And your story with Serena isn't yet done. Not by a long shot. So hang on in there, she'll be back with you before you know it.'

Bernie smiled at Morven and released the grip on Serena's hands. She had to be strong for Serena. Her presence alone should be enough to wake Serena up at some point in the future. But now maybe wasn't the right time. Morven stayed for maybe an hour talking to Bernie making sure was okay, but disappearing back to the ward where she was most needed.

After she'd gone, Bernie leant back in her chair staring at Serena. She needed her back by her side but she had to be well again. Now he has just an inclination as to how Serena must have felt when the shoe was on the other foot. It was a pain she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy, least of all on her soulmate. She stared at her and smiled sadly, thinking of the last conversation they'd had together, before falling asleep and riding the boat to the island of her memories.

Hours later, Bernie woke up curled up in the chair. Her neck was cricked and her whole body was curled up in the foetal position. She must have wriggled around in her sleep. The room was pitch black. It must be in the dead of night. Stretching and yawning, she got up and wandered off in search of the light switch, finding only by touch.

Switching it on, she stood for a moment with her head against the wall. Then turning around to go back to the chair, she stopped dead in her tracks. For boring into her soul were the pair of brown eyes she'd been longing to see for the last five days. Full of love and tears, the silence was deafening. Radio silence but for one, in a good way.


	41. Real and Emotional

41: 

Bernie blinked her eyes again and again, rooted to the spot for a moment. No, she wasn't imagining it. Serena was sat up in the bed staring at her.   
'Serena?'  
'Bernie.'  
Serena spoke the word so quietly, Bernie could barely make it out. Her voice sounded weak and hoarse. Without another word, she walked straight over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Serena watched Bernie for a moment with tears in her eyes. She'd woken up in the middle of the night and managed to make out Bernie opposite her. She had no idea what had happened so she'd just say herself up and waited for Bernie to wake up. And now she was here, right in front of her. 

After watching her, Serena moved one hand up and touched Bernies cheek. At that touch, Bernie closed her eyes and put her hand on top of Serena's. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be touched by Serena and her heart leaped at the touch. Electricity shuddered through her and she shivered. 

Serena moved her hand away, concerned.   
'Bernie?'  
'No, don't move it away.'  
'My hand?'  
'Yes, don't move it away.'  
Serena held on to Bernies hand instead. It was hurting her to raise her arms more. She was still quite weak. Bernie looked at Serena for a long moment, tears welling up in her eyes.  
'I can't believe you're here. Awake and talking to me.'  
'You asked me to give you something. I thought I'd do the decent thing and wake up.'  
'Wait? You could hear me?'

Bernie looked at Serena with confusion in her eyes. Serena coughed for a moment before continuing,   
'Well, sort of. I was in a kind of trance but I could hear you. It's like you were pulling me out of the trance and back to he land of the living. Back to you.'  
'I honestly thought I'd lost you.'  
'What happened?'  
'I don't really know myself. We went down the transplant. Everything was going okay until they removed your kidney.'  
'What happened?'  
'The anaesthetic caused you to lose a lot of blood. They think you had an allergic reaction, so you were starved of oxgygen and you arrested. When I came round and Cam told me, I thought he was going to tell me you died, but you're here, back with me, where I belong.'  
'Is the kidney okay? It's working okay for you right?'  
'All systems functioning normally. It's you we've been worried about sweetheart.'

Serena's eyes filled with tears and she looked down at the bed.   
'I'm sorry.'  
'What are you sorry for?'  
'Causing you this pain. You've been through a major operation, you shouldn't have been worried about me.'  
Bernie reached over with her hand and put it under Serena's chin. Pushing upwards, she made her look at her.  
'Serena Campbell, listen to me. If I could have swapped places with you, I would have. I thought I was in pain with my kidney before the transplant, but that was nothing compared to what I felt sitting here watching you fight for your life. Serena, it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. The only thing I wanted was for you to get better. And I couldn't make it happen. I thought I'd lost you forever and it would have been because of me, and I couldn't, could never...ever..forgive myself...if you...had died.'

Bernie choked out the last sentence and broke down in tears in front of Serena. Overcome with emotion, Serena squeezed Bernies hands and pulled her arms. It was all the encouragement Bernie needed as she moved closer and wrapped her arms around her wife pulling her as close as she dared. Serena drew in a breath and was intoxicated once again in the smell. It was just 'Bernie' the way she smelt, was so her. At that she broke down as well. 

The two of them sat there hugging in the hospital room, with tears running down their cheeks. Neither one of them wanted to move for they both thought they were imagining it. But this was real. Real and emotional. Because that was love for Berena is. Real and emotional. Could never be anything else. Serena was awake and while she was still weak, it was step in the right direction. The two of them were on the road to recovery.


	42. By My Side

42:

Serena opened her eyes, blinking in the sunlight streaming in through the undrawn curtains. Rolling over onto her back, she winced in pain. She still had a long way to go to recover. Serena stared at the ceiling, contemplating what could have happened if the transplant had gone to plan. She and Bernie would almost be fully recovered. She was dreading when Bernie would leave the hospital and return home, without her. 

'Serena....'  
Hearing her name brought Serena out of the clouds and back down to reality. Bernie had awoken to see Serena lying on her back staring at the ceiling with tears running down her cheeks. She had been crying silently and Bernie was instantly worried.   
'Hmm..what?'

Bernie leant forward, on the edge of her seat, and gently took Serena's hands in one of her own, bringing the other one around to wipe away the tears from her face.  
'Baby, what's wrong?'  
'Nothing, it doesn't matter.'  
'Yes, it does. Serena, please...'  
'I was just thinking about what could have been.'  
'Could have been? What do you mean?'  
'If everything had gone to plan. With the transplant.'  
'Oh, Serena. You shouldn't be worrying about that. The only thing you need to concern yourself with is getting better.'  
'I'm sorry.'  
'I wish you'd stop saying that. You don't need to be sorry. I blame myself for this. I should never have let you talk me into this. A half life with you was better than no life at all.'  
'But I couldn't accept that and you know it. I'm glad we did it. Because you're you again. The Bernie Wolfe we all know and love, me more than most.'

Bernie squeezed Serena's hands in reassurance.  
'I'll be forever in your debt you know that right?'  
'For what?'  
'Serena, you gave me a kidney. Risked your own life and almost lost your own in the process.'  
'But it was worth it. I did risk my own life, but for you. It was worth it.'  
'Serena....'  
'Bernie, I'm not sorry we did this. I was crying because I caused you all this pain he last few days and I didn't mean to. You being hurt was never a part of the plan.'  
'Serena, if your hurt, then I'm hurt. We come as a package. What one feels, the other feels. I thought you knew that.'  
'I do. But what you said about being in my debt. You're not. You being here with me by my side is payment enough in kind. Though I'm dreading when you leave.'  
'Leave?'  
'My side.'  
'I'll never leave your side Serena. Surely you know that by now?'  
'I mean, when you leave the room, when you go back to your bed, when your discharged to go home. I'm dreading that moment. Remember when you first moved in with me?'

Bernie remembered only too well. After the accident with the train and she'd been injured. Serena had asked her to stay and she'd never left. She'd been feeling so much dread when she thought her time was up to leave. Was that how Serena felt now?  
'I do remember. I was dreading leaving you.'  
'Bernie, that's how I'm feeling now. Call it paranoia, call it stupid. Call it what you want. But when your not with me, i almost seem out of step with the world. Like I don't have a place, or a purpose if you're not with me.'  
'You do have a place. You belong here. You're my wife. And I love you more than you will ever know. More than anyone has ever loved anyone else.'  
'There's one exception.'  
'Well I hoped there might be.'

Serena pulled Bernie up towards her as strong as she dared. She was still weak, but she didn't care in that moment. Bernie leant down to Serena and kissed her. It had been over a week since their last kiss and it sparked something in both of them that they had been missing.

After a minute, a wave of pain hit Serena and she pushed Bernie away. Bernie pulled away at Serena's request, looking concerned.  
'Are you okay?'  
'I will be. You're here. That's all the medicine I need.'  
Bernie smiled at Serena and an idea formed in her head. Serena watched her for a moment.  
'What are you thinking?'  
'I've had an idea?'  
'Oh no.'  
'What?'  
'What kind of idea?'  
'A good one. But I have to talk it through.'  
'I'm all ears.'  
'Not with you.'  
'What's wrong with me?' 

Bernie detected the note of hurt in Serena's voice and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close but slowly so as not to hurt her.  
'There's is nothing wrong with you. You're perfect. I love you as you are. This idea, I want it to be a surprise, that's all.'  
'You promise?'  
'Serena, I swear on my life. But I will have to leave you for a bit; will you be alright?'  
'Are you going to be gone long?'  
'Not if I can help it. I'll be back as quick as I can, I promise.'   
'Okay.'  
Bernie gave Serena a quick kiss on the cheek and left the room, leaving Serena back to her thoughts. 

*********************************

Bernie had been gone for over an hour. So much for wanting to come back as soon as she could. Serena had meant what she said, she felt out of step with the world when Bernie wasn't with her. 

She was lying on her side, looking out the window. The sunny weather had been replaced with a grey, overcast sky that could be threatening rain. 

Hearing the door opening, she rolled over, wincing in pain as she changed positions in the bed. Expecting to see Bernie, she was visually shocked to see the other bed being pushed into the room by the porters. She watched in confusion as they set it up and left it there without a patient. Less than a minute later, Bernie entered the room.

'There you are. I've been worried about you. Are you okay?'  
'I'm fine. Surprise.'  
'What's the surprise?'  
Bernie pointed to the bed and to herself. Serena stared her dumbfounded for a moment before the realisation hit her, and her eyes widened in disbelief.  
'You're moving down here?'  
'I had to clear it with Hanssen because it's not technically allowed but he was surprising okay about it.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes, he said we'll both still need regular obs but we knew that anyway. If anything it's better. Frees up my room for someone else.'  
'You're not pulling my leg are you?'

Bernie walked over to Serena and sat on the edge of her bed. Intertwining their fingers, she looked her straight in the eye.  
'I don't feel I have a place in this world without you either. And I don't want to be without you for any longer than I have to. So I'm solving a problem and killing two birds with one stone. Well, actually killing two heartaches with one bed.'  
'I love you.'  
'And I love you.'  
'So you're staying with me.'  
'Oh Serena I'm never leaving your side.'  
'Never.'  
'Never, I promise.'


	43. Love

43:

Hearing the rain hammering on the window aroused Bernie from her slumber. Opening her eyes, she blinked in the natural light of the room. For a minute she was startled by her unfamiliar surroundings, before she remembered that she'd moved rooms to be with Serena.

Serena. Bernie rolled over onto her side and looked at her wife, across from her, on the other bed. She looked so weak and run down in her sleep. What must the transplant have done to her? How much pain was she actually in? Whatever pain she had already endured, Bernie resolved to not let her do anything else alone. She would be there without fail by her side, it was the least Serena deserved.

'Stop staring at me.' Serena voice interrupted Bernies thoughts.   
'How do you know if I'm staring? Your eyes aren't open?'  
'Because it's all I do in the mornings. Stare at you when your sleeping, and besides, I know when your staring at me.'  
'You do?'  
'Just like you know when I'm staring at you. Call it magic, psychic, intuition, whatever you like but we always know when we're looking at each other..'  
'I know what you mean, now will you please open your eyes and look at me?'  
'Yes boss.'

Serena let out a giggle, as she opened her eyes and locked them on Bernie. For a moment all of time stood still as the two of them just lay there, gazing into each other's eyes, the windows to each other's soul, body and mind.   
'I thought I was dreaming.'  
'About what?'  
'You, being here, in this room with me.'  
'Well, where else would I be?'  
'I don't know, but I thought I was dreaming.'

Bernie held out her hand and Serena took it instantly.   
'See, I'm real. No dream.'  
'It doesn't matter to me anyway. My dreams aren't important to me'  
'Why not?'  
'Because, most of the time Bernie, I don't want to go to sleep. Because reality, with you, is so much better than my dreams. When I'm asleep, I'm away from you and I hate that. I never realised how much I love you until it was almost snatched away and I lost you.'

Bernie let go of Serena's hand and made her way over to her bed. Sitting down on the edge of it, she wiped away the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.  
'I love you so much.'  
'And I love you Bernie. It meant so much to me yesterday when you came back and said you were moving down here to be with me.'  
'If there was some way I could stop all your pain I would. In a heartbeat. But I can't, so I thought, the least I could do, would be to come here and live through it with you. We're doing this together. Every step of the way. No matter how long it takes. I'm not leaving your side for one minute.'

Serena grabbed Bernies hands and pulled her down for a kiss. As their tongues met inside their mouths, their hunger and desire for each other came again to the forefront of their minds. In that moment, where they were melted away. All that mattered was each other and their love.

For they were truly in love. Serena's sacrifice of her kidney and Bernies determination to be there proved that. Love is so much more than just physical attraction. Love is being there uconditionally for the person. Putting their needs above your own. 

They say no force is stronger than love. Bernie and Serena were perfect demonstrators of that. Love is the strongest, most dominant force on the planet.


	44. Drawing Strength

44:

The next few hours passed by in a flash. Serena was taken down for a CT scan so they could monitor her progress. All results came back clear thank goodness. Serena and Bernie had spent the rest of the morning curled up on Serena's bed looking through their wedding album. When they both saw and remembered what they'd both gone through in that day. It was amazing. And they were still here, five years later. 

Later that afternoon, Serena had fallen asleep. Bernie had had one arm around her shoulder. Bernie didn't realise she'd fallen asleep until she heard Serena's soft breathing on her neck. Looking at her wife for a moment, her eyes filled with tears of love. 

*********************************

Half an hour later, the door to Serena's room opened and the four people walked in. Upon seeing Bernie and Serena trussed up together, asleep on the bed, they smiled. 

Forty five minutes later, Bernie and Serena woke up at the same moment. Their heads had been on top of one another.  
'Welcome back. We thought you'd need wake up.'  
'Cameron, Auntie Serena looks even worst than usual. The sleep will help her look less like a ghost and more like a human.'  
'Jason; I am not deaf.'  
'I am well aware of the Auntie Serena. It's one of the few things you're not. By the way, you look awful.'  
'I'm not exactly feeling a million dollars either Jason.'  
'He knows that Mum. How are you?'  
'I'm getting there darling. Bernies moved in down here with me now, so I'll be back on my feet in no time, I promise.'

Elinor and Cameron brought over the chairs from the other bed and all four of them crowded around Serena's bed. Serena in the bed, Bernie lying on top. Charlotte and Elinor one side and Jason and Cameron the other.  
'Yes, Mum, what are you doing down here? Me and Cam phoned up earlier and they said you'd moved.'  
'I needed to be here with Serena. How's all the kids? I'm missing them all like mad.'  
'Ruby is driving me round the bend, asking me when she can come and see you.'  
'Why don't you bring her in? I'm out of danger now. And we can tell her we're just resting.'  
'I don't know Mum.'  
'Ellie, it would be great if we could see her. Cam, why don't you bring Toby as well?'  
'He's too little to understand really but he loves his pair of Nanna's. So yes, well bring them both in later.'  
'Today?'  
'No, tomorrow. Ruby's got nursery in the morning but I can bring her up afterwards.'  
'I cannot wait. Thank you Ellie.'

Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her in for a hug. She knew how much seeing the grand kids would boost Serena's attitude and recovery. Ruby was the apple of her eye. Cuddling Serena against her, she closed her eyes for a second as she listened happily to them discussing the funny things Ruby had said at nursery earlier that day. 

Charlotte reached over and touched her Mum on the back of her hand, as Elinor put her arm around Charlotte. The two of hem were best friends like Serena and Bernie, they talked every day without fail and were like sisters. The bond they had was unbreakable. 

Jason and Cameron had a bond as well. Cameron understood Jason and he could make him laugh more than most. All six of them were as close as they could be as a family. They couldn't be any closer and the way the transplant had brought them all closer together, it was the way all families should be in the time of crisis. Drawing strength from each other, rather than pulling apart the bonds that took so long to form.


	45. Belong

45: 

Serena and Bernie spent a delightful evening with Ruby and Tony. Elinor was true to her word and bought Ruby, as was Cameron with Toby.   
'Nanny!' Ruby had thrown herself on Serena the minute she'd run into the room. Bernie had smiled as Serena and Ruby embraced. But she'd been distracted as Cameron has bought Toby in. The minute his face saw Bernies his arms outstretched. As Serena and Bernie had cuddled their grandchildren together, Elinor and Cameron had watched.

'Despite how wary we were, I think Mum and Serena needed them to be here.'  
'Yeah. I think it's just what they need, especially Mum, might give her the push to get better.'  
'Are you worried about her?'  
'I'm always worried about her. But I think she will be just fine.'  
'I think they'll be just fine as long as they've got each other. They've been to hell and back, thinking they'd lost each other.'  
'I know. When I had my accident, I was so against the two of them, but Bernie bought the spark back into her life, when no one else could. She helped me and my mum get close again, and I'll always love her for that.'  
'It's the same with Charlotte. Serena reunited her and Mum when they both couldn't. They did for each other what the other one couldn't.'  
'They really do belong together.'  
'That they do.'

*******************************

Later that night when everyone had gone, Serena and Bernie were on their own in the room. The curtains weren't drawn and they could see the backdrop of the city, illuminated dying light of day. A pair of hands wrapped themselves around Serena shoulders. Serena leant back against Bernie, who was standing over the bed, behind her.

'You alright?'  
'I actually am.'  
'You promise?'  
'Bernie, you're here with me. That's all I need. How many times?'  
'I guess I'm just waiting for the next twist in the tale. The next test.'  
'Test?'  
'For us.'  
'Bernie, I think we've proved we can come through anything, don't you?'  
'You think?'  
'Bernie, our love is special. It was love to cross oceans for, a love that almost ripped our families apart. But we had to take the chance to be together. I wouldn't change a single second of it.'  
'Nothing?'  
'Nothing. Why would I? Everything we've been through. Bernie, look at us, we're still here. That's all I want. Me and you together.'

Bernie sat on the bed beside Serena and wrapped her arms around her.  
'I love you so much, you know that right?'  
'I think you might have mentioned that once or twice.'  
'I'm being serious. I can't be without you ever.'  
'Neither can I. That's why I did this. You know that.'  
'And I will never be able to repay you for it. I'm going to spend the rest of our lives trying to prove to you that you didn't do the wrong thing.'  
'You think I'm ever going to think that? I did this because I cannot cope without you. Yes, it almost cost my life, but it didn't. I'm here, so are you.'  
'Together, where we belong.'

Serena leant her head on Bernies shoulder. Bernie rested her head on top of Serena's and kissed her forehead.  
'You're my reason for leaving Serena. No one else.'  
'And you're mine Bernie.'  
The two of them sat there together, watching the last daylight fade over the city. The light might be drawing from this day but there was so many more days ahead of them. As long as they were together, they were stronger than anything. They'd proved that.


	46. Four Walls

46: 

Over the next few days, Serena and Bernie continued to grow stronger. They were drawing inspiration off each other. They knew that together, they could fend anything off. Separately they could hold their own but they were vulnerable without the other ones presence. It wasn't like when they ran the ward on their own, they knew the other one was okay and there. It was just when they were forced to be on their own, that was when they struggled.

It was a struggle Bernie was about to face. Because she was well enough to be discharged. When they'd told her she was ready to go home, she was happy at the thought of getting back to normal, but then it had struck her, she couldn't ever be normal until Serena was discharged as well and back where she belonged, with her.

The night before she was discharged, Serena had been fighting back the tears. She was so proud of Bernie for being well enough to go home but she didn't think she could cope in this place without her. Bernie had been her comfort blanket through her pain and guilt the last few days, but nor she was going to be here, on her own, for a while, until she was better. 

'Serena?'   
Bernie had sensed something wrong with Serena over the last couple of days. And tonight had only reaffirmed her fears. She was quiet and withdrawn, the way she had been in the weeks leading up to the wedding. And Bernie hated seeing her like this.  
'Serena...?  
'Hmmm?'  
'Are you okay?'  
'What?'  
'You're not even listening are you?'  
'I am. I'm just distracted.'  
'Yes I can see that's. What's wrong?  
'You.'  
'Me?'

Bernies mind began to race with what she could have done wrong to upset Serena so much. Had she said something? Done something?   
'Serena, whatever I've done, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry...'  
Bernie was taken aback as Serena raised a finger to her lips, buttoning them and making her quiet.   
'It's not what you've done. It's what your going to do'  
'I don't understand.'  
'You're leaving me here, on my own. You're going back to reality and normality and leaving me behind. Im stuck here. In this room. By myself. These four walls and me'

Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena, hugging her tightly. Leaning on her shoulder, she began to whisper.  
'Normality? Reality? They both suck. Serena, I won't ever be normal again until your back where you belong, with me. You know that I don't want to leave you, but you won't be here forever, and then we can be back where we both belong, AAU. Together'  
'Bernie?'  
'Yes?'  
'You will visit me won't you.'  
'Serena, of course I will. I'm still going to be here every day. Every night. Nothing will change that. Just cause I'm leaving this room, doesn't mean I'm leaving you on your own. You know how much I love you, how much I'm in love with you. I couldn't leave you even if j wanted to.'  
'Do you want to?'  
'No, of course not.'

Serena hugged Bernie even tighter and the two of them sat on Serena's bed, never wanting the moment to end, because they knew when it did and the night passed; they'd be seperated again. But they knew. Alone or together. They were strong. They needed to be able to cope without each other for the time being. Maybe that was their true test. To see how they would cope outside the four walls and the safe haven they'd built up over the last few weeks.


	47. Nothing Else

47: 

Morning arrived far too quickly for Serena's liking. Bernie had spent last night curled up on Serena's bed. Serena hadn't wanted her to be anywhere else and she'd wanted the night to last forever.

Sadly, she was bought down to earth the next morning, when the birdsong outside aroused her from her peaceful slumber, in the arms of her wife. As she opened her eyes, she blinked in the daylight before rolling over to face Bernie. 

Watching her still asleep brought Serena to tears. For she knew when she woke up, she would be on her own. But she knew nothing could last forever. They'd been through so much and Bernie hadn't been home for weeks, so she couldn't begrudge her that. She would just miss her, it was as if she was missing half of her when Bernie wasn't with her.

'You're staring at me again.'  
'Am I?'  
'Do I need to make a complaint and Campbell?'  
'I most certainly hope not. That's half the fun.'  
Bernie opened her eyes. Despite Serena's joke, she could hear the strain in her voice.  
'Are you okay?'  
'I just don't want you to go. And I know what you said last night. But it doesn't hurt any less. It always feels like we're saying goodbye at the moment.'  
'Serena..'  
'But I know this has to happen for us to be back where we belong. You have to get out of here. I can't be the reason that you stay here. You're better. You have to go back to AAU and be where your needed.'  
'Where we're needed. We can't run AAU without you. And anyway, I'll be back here. Where I'm needed is here. You need me and I need you. You're my priority Serena and you always will be.'  
'Bernie...'  
'Let me finish. Listen to me, I am not going to be leaving here and just forgetting you. To be honest, the fact that you think I could is a little upsetting, but I know what you don't want me to go. I don't want to go, but nothing can stay the same all the time. The world would be boring if it did.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernies shoulders and pulled her into her for a hug.  
'I'm sorry. I just don't want you to go. I don't know how much I can cope without you.'  
'Together or alone, we can do anything. I've got your back and you've got mine. We're unbreakable. Stop worrying.'  
'I will try but I can't promise. You will come back later won't you.'  
'Of course. I'm going home to see Jason and then am coming straight back.'  
'What about the ward?'  
'I'm not due back til tomorrow. It is Sunday today after all, so why go back at the end of the week. And I told Hanssen I wanted to be with you as much as possible.'  
'Really?'  
'Serena, they've managed without us for weeks. I'm sure they'll be okay for another night. Like I said, you're my priority. The ward, none of it will be the same without you. I'm not returning to normal til you're back by my side.'  
'You mean that don't you?'

Bernie flushed her lips against Serena, trying to convince her just how much she didn't want to leave her. As their lips met, the rest of the world melted away. All that mattered at the moment was each other. Nothing else mattered.


	48. Seperated

48: 

Shutting the door behind her, Bernie let out a breath. She'd been holding it ever since she left the hospital. It was the first time she'd been home since she'd collapsed in the hospital. That seemed ages ago, it felt almost strange coming back, to be honest, like she was a stranger in her own home.

'Auntie Bernie?'  
Jason appeared in the doorway. He had today off work and it had coincided with Bernies homecoming perfectly.   
'Hi Jason.'  
'Welcome home.'  
'Thank you.'  
'It hasn't been the same without you. The house is just a house but you and Auntie Serena make this house the best place to live in. Without both of you here it isn't the same. Do you understand what I'm saying or does it make no sense?'  
'No Jason, it makes perfect sense. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels their is something missing.'  
'How is Auntie Serena?'

Bernie hung her coat up on the rack and followed Jason into the living room. She knew he'd be watching the re runs of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire as he always did on his days off. 

'She's okay; as well as can be expected.'  
'Will she be home soon? I miss her, and you will too as well won't you?'  
'Yes I'm sure you will Jason and yes I will miss her. But I don't know when she will be home. She is getting better slowly, but we must take it a day at a time.'  
'Are you going back to visit her later?'  
'Yes I am going later on this afternoon. Would you like to come?'  
'Yes please.'

*********************************

Serena had sat staring at the door after Bernie had left for quite some time. It was as if time had stopped and after Bernie had gone, she was battling her own demons. Because she was alone. She didn't know how she'd managed without Bernie before, but she must have somehow. After a time, Serena had rolled over onto her side and pulled the duvet around her shoulders to protect from the cold. She lay watching the window with her back to the door, blocking out the world. 

'Mum?'  
Hearing Elinors voice, Serena rolled over.  
'Ellie? What are you doing here?'  
'Bernie phoned. She said she was being discharged and thought you might want some company til she came back. She didn't want you to be on your own. She's worried about you, we all are.'

Serena's eyes relaxes and her expression softened as she digested what Elinor had just said. Bernie hadn't wanted her to be on her own so she'd phoned Elinor to come and be here until she came back. Oh god. How much she loved that woman.   
'I'm fine.'  
'Don't give me that Mum. Bernie and I know you better than you know yourself. You're not fine. You're putting on a brace face like always. You're missing Bernie, it's okay to you know. We won't think any less of you.'

Elinor walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair next to it.  
'Where's the girls?'  
'Ruby is at nursery and Jade is with Lib. She took her to a baby yoga class'  
'Baby yoga?'  
'I know, don't get me started. Jade is barely 2 months old, but if Lib wants to have her for the day i don't mind. Gives me time to check on you.'  
'Well I'm glad their both doing okay.'  
'They are doing just fine. Ruby wants to see you again. Bernie said I should pop round with Ruby. She'd bring us both in. What do you think?'  
'I'd love to see her, you know that. But bring Jade this time as well.'  
'I will. I know you haven't seen her for ages.'  
'No I haven't. I miss her.'

*********************************

Later that morning, Jason was in the shower, leaving Bernie downstairs on her own. Climbing the stairs, she went into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. As she glanced around, tears sprung into her eyes. Climbing onto the bed, she lay back onto the pillows and breathed in Serena's scent.  
'I miss you.' The words were barely audible but Bernie had to say them. She knew Serena wouldn't hear her but having her scent off the pillows brought her some comfort.

Little did she know Serena was doing something similar at that moment. Elinor had gone for a coffee leaving Serena on her own momentarily. Serena had reached over to Bernies bed and swapped the pillows over. As she lay back on one, she breathed in 'Bernies smell' and hugged the other one close to her chest. It was almost like cuddling up with Bernie. 

The two of them were so vulnerable in that moment. They truly were stronger when they were together but Bernie and Serena had been through worst than this. Serena would get better and they'd be back where they belonged, running the ward together.

********************************

Surely nothing else could test them, could it? The next part of the story will answer that question, but begs the answer to another, question, does love really conquer all?


	49. Visiting Time

49: 

Serena lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Elinor had gone abruptly about half an hour ago. Ruby had been sick at nursery, so she'd had to go and pick her up. Serena had fended off her daughters apologies with a wave of her hand- her daughter was far more important.

Serena must have known the design of the ceiling off by heart, she spent that much time staring at it. If she was like this now, only a matter of hours after Bernie had left, she could scarcely imagine what she'd be like in a few days or weeks down the kind.   
'Pull yourself together Campbell. She'll be here soon. You can manage until then, you coped when she was in Kiev.'  
Serena's pep talk did little to raise her spirits. She was miserable and missing Bernie. 

'Auntie Serena?'  
Jason's voice caught her completely off guard. She sat up, and sure enough there he was, in the doorway.  
'Jason! What are you doing here?'  
'I would have thought that was obvious Auntie Serena. You should engage with your brain before you speak. We're here to see you.'  
'We?'  
'Yes, we.'  
'Who's we?'  
'Honestly Auntie Serena, who do you think I mean?'  
'Bernie? Is she here?'  
'So you do have a brain. Yes she is here.'

Serena craned her neck around Jason, expecting to see Bernie behind him, but no-one appeared.  
'Where is she?'  
'She said she had something she needed to do. She said it couldn't wait and was very important.'  
'More important? What could be more important that being with me?'  
'She headed towards Mr Hanssens office. I do hope Auntie Bernie isn't in any kind of trouble.'  
'I'm sure she isn't Jason. She'll just be running through the plan for tomorrow I expect. Though why she had to do that now is beyond me. I've been waiting to see her, and apparently she isn't that interested.'  
'Auntie Serena, that's unfair?'  
'Why is it? It's okay for you two now. The world outside carries on. You're part of it now. I just seem to be stuck with these four walls. And it's beginning to get tiring. I live for when Bernie comes to visit, and now at the first opportunity she's making excuses.'

'You honestly think I would do that Serena?'  
The hurt in Bernies voice was apparent. Glancing round Jason, Serena saw Bernie stood in the doorway. She had obviously heard what Serena had said.  
'Well its true isn't it? You've just blown off coming straight here to go and see Hanssen about tomorrow.'  
'Serena, do you not know me st all? I can't believe you actually think I would actually do that. You're words that I'm not interested cur right into me, doing far more damage than a knife ever could. After five years together, I would have thought you would have more faith and trust in me. But apparently not.'  
'Bernie, I didn't know you were there.'  
'And that makes it okay does it?'  
'That's not what I meant. I've been looking forward to you coming to see me ever since you left this morning. I was so lost without you.'  
'As was I without you.'  
'So, why didn't you come straight here?'  
'Jason; would you be so kind as to give me and your Auntie Serena a moment? I have something I want to talk about with her?'  
'Yes of course Auntie Bernie. Auntie Serena, I hope you forgive Auntie Bernie. She hasn't done anything wrong. Your frown lines are coming back by the way. I can see three on your forehead.'

Bernie watched as Jason left the room. As soon as the door shut behind him, she went and sat down in the chair beside Serena's bed.  
'Serena, do you honestly think that little of me, that I am not interested in coming to see you?'  
'Bernie, I know you love me, but when Jason said you were seeing Hanssen, it hurt me. That you would rather go and see him before me.'  
'I didn't want to Serena. Every bit of me aches to be with you. These couple of hours without you have been the loneliest I've felt in ages.'  
Serena leant forward and grabbed Bernies hands.  
'Really?'  
Bernie squeezed Serena's hands in reply.  
'Really.'  
'So why go and see him first?'  
'Because I had a question to ask him, and I wanted an answer before coming to see you. Okay?'  
'What question?'  
'I asked him if you could come home.'

To say Serena was taken aback was a bit of an understatement.   
'You asked him if I could come home?'  
'Yes. Serena, I need you back by my side. I want to know you're okay.'  
'I am okay. Well as okay as I can be without you by my side.'  
'So don't you want to know what he said?'  
'Don't tell me he said yes?'

Bernies mouth spread into a grin, and Serena knew, that she had achieved the impossible, and got him to agree.  
'How did you manage that?'  
'I've arranged 24 hour care. As long as your test results come back clear tomorrow, and your stay in bed, you'll be fine to come home.'  
'Wait; 24 hour care; from who?'  
'Me.'  
'You?'  
'Yes, me?'  
'But, you're due back at work tomorrow.'  
'No I'm not.'  
'What?'  
'I'm not going back without you Serena. It's not the same without you. Give it a couple of weeks and you'll be back to normal. I need to focus on you. AAU is our ward yes, but your my home and I need you to be well before we go back. I want us to go back together. The team reunited.'  
'Fierce, forceful and forever yes?'  
'Got it in one.'  
'So I'm really coming home?'  
'Yes. Henrik was against it at first but I said it was better to have the bed free.'  
'Oh so it's like that. He will let me go if it frees up a bed.'  
'I don't care why he does it, as he's letting you home.'

Serena leant back on her pillows and pulled Bernie up off her chair. Wrapping her arms around her, she clung to her for dear life; which of course it was, because they had come to realise, that they couldn't survive without each other.


	50. Lovely Love❤

50:

Serena woke up eagerly the next morning. The contrast in feelings between yesterday morning and this morning were completely different. There was no knot in the pit of her stomach and the worry of how she was going to survive the next few days. Today, there were butterflies in the pit of her stomach, and she couldn't wait to see how the day panned out. 

Serena rolled over onto her side and smiled when she saw the early morning sunshine illuminating every inch of the room. She let out a breath and smiled to herself. She was able to relax again, because she was here. 

She lay there for a while, watching as the early morning sunshine became fiery orange rays. The rays provided her with a mesmerisingly warm glow, such a juxtaposed feeling after yesterday's grey and bleak morning. On her side, staring out the window, she didn't see that she had gained an admirer. Who was sat watching her with an amused look on her face. 

Feeling a shiver run down her spine, Serena turned around and her eyes locked on to the pair of brown eyes staring at her from about 30 metres away. As soon as they clapped eyes on each other, they were gone. Time stood still. A bomb could have dropped outside, and it wouldn't have mattered. When they were staring into the windows of the others soul, they couldn't be moved by man or by mountains.

After a few minutes, Bernie blinked and Serena rolled over on to her other side to fully appreciate the sight of her wife. Bernie leaned right over, out of her chair, and wrapped her arms around Serena, pulling her close for a kiss. As their eyes closed and their lips met, the only thing they were aware of was each other. 

Bernie only realised they'd both been holding their breath when they both came up gasping for air. Then as soon as their eyes met, they collapsed into fits of giggles.  
'Well that's the way I want to start my mornings.'  
'You seen in a better mood this morning. I must had watched you for about 10 minutes and you couldn't stop smiling. What was on your mind?'  
'You.'  
'Me?'  
'I've got you on the brain Bernie. I was admiring the sunshine and how it lights up every room it shines in. My source of light and life is you. You're the port in a storm, the light of my life. Or is this too soppy at this hour of the morning?'  
'No it's perfect, but please stop complimenting me or I'll start getting a big head or crying. Neither of which would do anything for my looks.'  
'Oh stop it Bernie, you'll always have your looks. You'll always be beautiful to me.'

Bernies cheek flushed a deep shade of crimson as she pushed her fringe out of her eyes. Serena caught her hand on the way down and enclosed it in both of her own.  
'Today's the day.'  
'Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Your tests have to come back clear first. And even when we do get home, if we do, you're on bedrest.'  
'I like a bed. You know that more than most right Major?'  
Bernie was caught off guard as Serena called her major. Almost flirting and teasing with her. It had been a while since they'd had that kind of conversation.  
'Oh believe me Serena; I love seeing you in a bed in many instances.'

Serena grinned mischievously at Bernie, and Bernie happily smiled at Serena. Their love was stronger than anything. You could go to the furthest reaches of the galaxy and never find anything more stronger than their love for each other. They'd both risked their lives and given up so much of themselves to be with the other in their time of need. That's what love is. All the good times and the bad. Weathering the storm, riding the waves out, because while their are bad times, and you think you can't get through it, just look for the sunshine steaming through the curtains and that feeling, will outweigh any negative ones you may be harbouring.

Serena an Bernie had done that and lived to tell the tale. Their love was impenetrable and unbreakable. The saying really is true, love really does conquer all, especially where Berena is concerned.


	51. All Clear

Serena was desperate to return home, to return to a sense of normality that shed been distinctly lacking since the transplant. Bernie had been a constant visitor and presence but, in the wake of Bernie being discharged, theyd both come to realise just how much they needed to be with each other. They couldn't survive without the other one by their side, theyd learnt that the hard way when they'd almost lost each other. Bernie had even put off returning to work, because she was desperate to care for Serena at home, so they could both return to AAU together. Bernie didn't want to be dividing her focus between Serena and the ward, she knew she would have given unfair time to each, so she'd naturally chosen to prioritise Serena over anything else. 

But before Serena, could return home, shed have to get the all-clear from Hanssen. He, himself, was over seeing Serena's tests that morning so that he could know they were doing the right thing in letting her go home. After the CT and MRI scans, Serena sent Bernie home to get some of her things for her. Even if she wasn't allowed home, she wanted some of her own stuff with her. Bernie wouldn't leave Serena on her own, but after much debate, she realised she couldn't do anything for Serena, not until her test results came back. 

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Closing the front door behind her, she heard movement upstairs. Sure enough, Jason appeared at rhe top of the stairs.  
'Auntie Bernie, is everything okay?'  
'Yes Jason. How are you?'  
'I am fine, I should be asking how you and Auntie Serena are. You didnt come home last night did you?'  
'No, I stayed with her. Actually, I want to tell you something.'  
'Tell me?'  
'Yes. How would you feel about your Auntie Serena coming home later today?'  
Jason came down the stairs and stood in front of Bernie. He could see how excited she was about having Serena back with her.  
'I would like that. But is she well enough to come home?'  
'We don't know that yet Jason. She is having tests this morning. By the time I get back, her results should be back.' 'Well I like to have Auntie Serena back. I take it you forgave her after what she said yesterday.' 'Oh that? Your Auntie Serena was just upset, but when I told her why I went to see Mr Hanssen, she was okay in the end.' 'Why do you always forgive each other when you upset each other?' 'Because we love each other Jason, and that's what love is.' 'I know what love is, I have learnt that from watching you and Auntie Serena over the last five years. If I am ever lucky enough to meet someone, I want to have a love like the two of you have.' 'Jason, that is so sweet of you to say.' 'I must go back to my episode of Doctor Who.' 'Okay, well I'm just going to grab some bits for Serena, and I'm heading back, so I will see you later.' ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Seeing Mr Hanssen leaving the ward, Bernie realised that Serena had been told whether she could go home. She silently said a little prayer to herself. 'Please, please, let her be able to come home. It is driving me nuts to see her in this place. I need her to be with me, and I need her at home. Please let her have been given the all-clear.' Bernie pushed open the door to Serenas room, but she was presented with an empty bed. The covers had been thrown back, but there was no sign of her wife in the bed. 'Bernie..' Spinning around, Bernie saw Serena standing in front of her. She had her clothes on and her coat done up. She was a little unsteady on her feet, but she had the use of crutches and a wheelchair which she had obviously just got out of. As Bernie took in the sight of her wife standing there, her mouth broke out into a grin. 'Does this mean..' 'Yep. All of my scans were clear. Mr Hanssen told me I am on bed rest for the next week but I am fit to come home. Will you have me?' 'You know I will.' Serena opened her arms and Bernie fell into them without question. As they stood their embracing and hugging, their love emminated throughout the entire ward. The sun was shining on them today. It had been a good day for them. But for every good day, there is a bad day. Serena and Bernie were as close as they had ever been, but that was all about to change in the coming weeks, and after that, nothing would ever be quite as it was again. Their love had survived everything so far, because their minds had been completleyt fixated on the other. But by the time fate was finished with them, their minds, their love and more importantly their story would be different an changed forever.


	52. Security Blanket

52.

The sound of the rain hammering against the window brought Bernie out of the depths of her slumber. It sounded as if the heavens had opened and they were demanding an audience, as they showered the earth below. 

Opening her eyes, Bernie groaned when she saw the clock on her table. 4:45am. Why was she awake this early? She had nowhere to be, nothing to do so why in gods name had her body chosen this moment to wake her up? 

She snuggled back under the duvet, refusing to give in to her body. Why should she be awake when the rest of the world was asleep and peaceful? She loved the early morning atmosphere when everything was still sleeping and it was like she was in her own bubble, out of step with the rest of the world. Well, her and Serena. They were in their own league. 

Suddenly a hand whacked her on the back. Instantly surprised, she turned over to see Serena writhing in pain. Out of nowhere, she began to elicit a cry, which became screams.  
'Stop it!! Stop it!! Please!!'  
Serena was obviously having a nightmare. She had such vivid dreams sometimes, she thought she was it was realistic, but Serena. She never had bad dreams. Well not very often. And never like this. 

Bernie moved as close to Serena as she could and wrapped her arms around her, stilling her.   
'Serena, it's okay, I've got you.'  
After a minute, Serena stopped screaming. She couldn't writhe anymore cause Bernie had her arms pinned to her side but she suddenly relaxed. Bernie cuddled her close to her, and kissed the top of her forehead. Despite the worry, she drifted off to sleep.

********************************

Bernie felt movement beside her and opened her eyes. Serena was staring at her, her big eyes unblinking.  
'Hello.'  
'Morning. Are you okay?'  
'I should be asking you that, after what happened earlier.'  
'What are you talking about?'  
'Don't you remember?'  
'I had a bad dream. I was watching you being electrocuted over and over.'  
Bernie wasn't expecting to hear that. Serena's screaming and writhing had been because she'd been dreaming about Bernie being tortured and traumatised.  
'Wait? You dreamed about me?'  
'Bernie, I have so many dreams about you. Sometimes it's hard to tell which ones are real. I thought last night, well I thought it was real.'  
'It wasn't.'  
'I know that now. How come I woke up with your arms around me?'

Bernie kissed Serena deeply for a moment before pulling away, intertwining and interlocking their fingers.  
'Because I woke up and you were in pain. What else was I supposed to do?'  
'How did you know I was in pain?'  
'You were screaming and moving around. My heart breaks when I see you like that. I never want you to feel any pain.'  
'Bernie, you can't protect me from everyone and everything.'  
'But I want to. Serena, I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you. I love you too much. My pain is your pain.'  
'I know one thing.'  
'What's that?'  
'The biggest pain I could ever feel is not having you by my side. The pain of being alone'  
'That's a pain I promise you will never have to feel. I'm with you forever. I will never not want to be with you. Your my sanity, my security blanket.'  
'And you are my sanity as well. I love you so much. I'm so glad to be back home here with you.'  
'And I'm so glad to have you back. With me. Where you belong.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie and cuddled her close. Neither one of them could imagine not being without the other at that moment in time. They had overcome so much adversity and hostility to be where where they were today.

But fate was about to take a dark turn for Berena. .And it would leave the question- can love truly conquer all? Especially if one doesnt feel like the other does? What would fate bring for their next test?


	53. Happy Anniversary

53: 

For the next two weeks, Serena followed Hanssen's orders and stayed in bed. Hanssen had phoned to check how she was getting on and to remind her that she was on strict bed rest. Between him, Bernie and Jason, she knew better than to argue with any of them. Fat chance of her getting out of bed anyway. Bernie would have had an epic fit.

Bernie, the love of her life, was acting like her personal butler and nursemaid rolled into one. She wouldn't allow Serena out of bed, except for the bathroom. Bernie knew Serena was on the mend and in no time at all she would be back on the ward with her. She couldn't wait for that to be the case.

Serena was so much more in love with Bernie, than she ever had before. She was acting completely selfless and her motivations were entirely driven by love. Serena didn't know what she'd done to deserve Bernies love in her life but the longer they were together, the more in love with each other they became. They were getting so much stronger over time.

*********************************

The sunlight streaming in through the open curtains was the first sight that Serena saw when she opened her eyes. Smiling to herself, she snuggled even more under the duvet. The sunshine making an appearance in October was something, but it seemed like fate was going to be nice today. Today was a rather special day. 

Rolling over, she expected to see Bernie in the bed but she was greeted by the empty side of the bed. She sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard as she wondered where Bernie was, and what she could be doing.

The answer to her questions came just a minute later when Bernie entered the room, a present in her hand. Seeing Serena was awake, she placed the present down on the bed and sat down next to her, bringing her legs up over Serena's. Leaning over, she drew her in for kiss. 

Yet again they came up gasping for breath and then both collapsed into fits of giggles when they caught sight of each other. Serena interlocked one hand with Bernies and caressed her cheek with the other. For just a moment, nothing else mattered but the two of them. 

After that minute passed, Serena let go of Bernies cheek and reached under the bed. Pulling out a wrapped present; she smiled as Bernie had also reached hers.   
'I hope you love this.'  
'I'm sure I will. It came from you after all. I have loved every present you've ever got me Serena. Why wouldn't I love this one?'  
'Well there's a first time for everything. Open it then.'

Bernie smiled and squeezed Serena's hands in reassurance as she took off the paper to her present. She was presented with a black box. Taking the lid of that, she saw her present. Shocked she pulled it out and span it round as to get a proper look at it.  
'Serena it's gorgeous.'  
'It's a keepsake box.'  
'Wherever did you find it?'  
'Online. But I designed it. Every aspect.'  
'Really?'

Bernie was holding what at first appeared to be a wooden cube. But upon closer inspection Bernie could see how much time Serena had spent on her present. The lid of the box was inscribed with the date of their wedding. Each four of the cubes sides contained a different photo. One was of their wedding day; of their first dance. One was Bernies favourite photo, of the two of them up the Campanile on honeymoon. The third one was of the two of them in the office at Holby and the last one was of them at their party earlier that year. 

Bernie sat there, turning the cube over in her hands, admiring it from every angle. The photos were protected from harm by glass and everytime the sunlight caught the glass, it gave off such a glow around the room.   
'Serena, I love it. It's amazing.'  
'Really?'  
'A keepsake box is perfect. Thank you so much. I hope you like mine, will you open it now?'

Serena eagerly pulled off the paper of her present and just sat staring at her present. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes.   
'Bernie, this is so special.'  
'You think so?'  
'I love it.'  
'It's not much. I'm sorry.'  
Serena squeezed Bernies hand and kissed her deeply for a moment before pulling back.  
'This present is perfect.'  
Bernie thought her present was silly but Serena loved it. Like Serena, Bernie had found the idea online and had ordered it all online before trusting the designer to make it just as she'd ordered. The heart shaped pillow had the date of their wedding sewn in the middle, surrounded by five years worth of memories. So many photos on the pillow, Serena spent a good twenty minutes sailing over the sea of memories, remembering where each and every one was taken. 

'I absolutely love it. I will sleep so much better in here at night knowing I'm sleeping on our love.'  
'You honestly like it?  
'I more than like it. I love it. Just like I love you.'  
'I love you as well.'  
'Happy Anniversary Bernie.'  
'Happy Anniversary Serena. Five years hey, who'd have thought it?'  
'Me. I'd have thought it. I knew we'd last this long. We're forever. We're for keeps. I love you more than lift itself'  
'As do I. I still remember our first meeting in the car park.'  
'It's a day I will never forget Bernie. The day my life changed, although then I had no idea then just how much it would come to change.'  
'Neither did I, but I wouldn't swap anything for the world.'

Bernie and Serena wrapped their arms around each other and cuddled each other close. They were having fun with their five years worth of memories now, but what would happen in a few days would leave one of them fighting to keep their love alive for the other.


	54. Fate Intervenes

54: 

Serena sat in the waiting room with tears running down her cheeks. She looked as if she had aged 10 years, and with all the worry on top of her; she must have looked wan and tired. She couldn't believe what had happened, and now she was so uncertain of what the future would hold for her. She was uncertain of a lot of things at the moment.

Her head in her hands, she stared at the floor, wishing it would open up and swallow her whole. She wished she was anywhere else than here right now. Her mind flashed back to only two days ago.

*********************************

She and Bernie had never been closer than they been in that period of time. Serena's risk of her life and Bernies selflessness has demonstrated their love for each other. They couldn't survive without each other, that much was certain and they'd both come through fighting, bruised and battered, but still alive and kicking.

Serena had been feeling so much better in herself. She and Bernie had in fact been on their way for Serena's assessment. If she passed it, she could return to work. After three months off work she was really hoping everything was going to be good so she and Bernie could return to doing what they did best.

It had been snowing all night and the chilly November sky was threatening the same. But as Bernie pulled the car out of the drive and onto the road, the atmosphere couldn't have been more juxtaposed in the car. So warm and loving. She and Serena were so excited to go and get the all clear at the hospital. But sadly, fate was about to deal them a hand that even the strongest of relationships wouldn't be able to survive. 

They'd been about 15 minutes from the hospital. Bernie had noticed that the roads were very icy the nearer she got, so she was trying to take care. But then as a car came round the corner at such a fast speed, Bernie had swerved to avoid them. 

And she'd lost control.

'Serena!' Bernie had thrown herself onto Serena as the car had spun out of control. It was the last thing Serena had remembered before she'd plunged into blackness.

*********************************

That was two days ago. Serena had managed to escape unharmed, mainly due to the fact that Bernie had taken the full force of the crash away from her. But to what extent? 

They'd been trapped in the car for hours before the fire crew had managed to free them. Then a trip to the ED and Elle had sent them straight up to the wards. A few hours later and Serena was okay, but Bernie. 

Serena hadn't known just how much Bernie would have changed following the crash. For when she went rushing into see Bernie, she had grabbed her hand and begun to cry her name, only for Bernie to look over with mistified eyes and say  
'Who are you?'


	55. We Don't Know

55: 

The three words cut through Serena, far more than any knife could ever do. The way Bernie had looked at her, with those mystified eyes- that look would haunt Serena for the rest of her days, in her nightmares. 

She didn't know what had happened, nor did she want to know. Her Bernie, the woman she loved, didn't recognise her. That was the only thing she cared about. 

'Serena?'  
Serena looked up between her tears. Cameron was in the doorway.  
'Cam, you came?'  
He ran over to her and sat next to her, wrapping one arm around her shoulder.  
'Of course I did, what happened?'  
'I don't know. She lost control of the car. The last thing I remembered was her shouting my name and then everything went black. But now...'  
'She doesn't recognise me. I just went to see her. She looked at me, like right through me, but didn't know who I was.'  
'So it's not just me?'  
'You mean?'  
'She doesn't know me either.'

Serena broke down into even heavier tears. She'd had the rug completely pulled from under her. The woman she loved, didn't know who she was.  
'What do I do now?'  
'It could be temporary Serena.'  
'And it might not be. We don't know. I don't know what happened.'  
'Hanssen said he'd be along to update us. Until then we have to wait.'  
'I can't see her again. It nearly killed me that first time. To see her looking at me, and not be able to recognise me. The fact that she asked who I was. I think she saved me in the crash.' 'That she did Ms Campbell.' Serena looked up and saw Hanssen stood there, in the doorway. 'She did?' 'The way she was positioned on top of you, I think it's more than probable that Ms Wolfe threw herself on top of you. She accomplished that task, but I fear it may be at a cost.' 'You mean this is permanent?' 'Mr Dunne, at this stage, I cannot be certain. Ms Wolfe sustained a significant head trauma in the accident. And as a result, I fear she may have developed amnesia.' 'So, what do we do now?' 'Ms Campbell, my main priority at this moment is to stabilise Ms Wolfe's blood pressure and heart rate. They are fluctuating and I need them to be stable, so I that I may be able to try and determine the length of damage, and for how long it may take her to recover.' 'So, in other words, at the moment, there is nothing you can do for my mum? She doesn't know who we are. That says to me that her head trauma is serious.' 'Cam...' Serenas voice quietened him. 'Cam.. I've seen this before. Just one case. The patient developed memory loss after a stroke. He got better over time but his memory declined, and he ended up with dementia.' 'Dementia? Is that going to happen to my mum? Shes going to die and no-one she recognises will be with her.' 'Hanssen, she can't have dementia. I lost my mum that way. I cannot go through it again. I don't have it in me.' 'Ms Campbell, I do not believe Ms Wolfe has dementia. Although at this present time, it is impossible to predict what will happen. As I said, once I have stabilised her blood pressure and heart rate, we will know more. Now, I must go and finish my rounds. Please try and remain positive.' Hanssen left the room. Serena stared after him for a moment and then dropped to her knees on the floor. Crying hysterically, she didn't have the strength to get up. 'Why did she try and save me? Why? Because now, we don't know if anything will ever be the same again. She doesn't seem to remember anyone or anything. I'm not ready to lose her. I love her more than anything. I can't do it. I've lost her, I know I have.' Fate had dealt them yet another devastating blow. They had managed to to come through everything up until this point, because they had had each other to guide through the storm. Serena was now on her own, and it was up to her to keep her and Bernie's love alive. But could Serena fight for what she loved, when she was certain that there was no way back? We just don't know what is next for Berena, but it will be emotional, and a heck of a journey. That's for sure.


	56. Fight

56: 

Serena spent the rest of the day wandering around the hospital in a haze. It was like she was there but she wasn't. Her mind was full of the scenarios with Bernie. She couldn't believe after everything that they'd been through in the last few weeks, Bernie had no recollection of any of it. 

But the worst thing about it was. She had no recollection of anyone, not her children, nor her grandchildren. Serena didn't know if she even remembered her own name. The uncertainty was the worst thing. Those two words were back- what if? What if she never got her memory back? What if she didn't remember Serena ever?

Their love had been the only thing to keep the two of them going through the dark days, but now Serena was on her own. She had to fight to bring Bernie back to her, but if she was honest, she didn't know if she had it in her to fight the fight without her by her side? She was tired of fighting the growing obstacles. Maybe it was time to cut their losses and call it a day. 

'Auntie Serena?'  
Serena looked up and Jason was in the corridor with Charlotte and Elinor by his side. Cameron was back at the ward. Serena had had to get out of there. But seeing the three of them stood there, made Serena break down again. As she began to cry, Elinor rushed forward and pulled her Mum into a hug before she collapsed on to the floor again. 

'Mum, it's alright.'  
'Ellie, it's not. It never will be again. I've lost her. And I can't function without her.'  
'Mum, you haven't lost her. She's still here.'  
'But she's not the same. She doesn't know who anyone is. She didn't recognise me or Cameron. I don't know what to do.'  
'I tell you what you do Auntie Serena. You go back in there and be with Auntie Bernie. She needs you to be there for her. That's what love is. And you love her don't you?'  
'You know I do Jason.'  
'So stop feeling sorry for yourself and get and see her.'  
'But Jason, she doesnt know who I am.'  
'Are you really going to let a little thing like that stop you Serena? I know if it was the other way around, my mum would be saying she'd make you know who she was.'  
'But Charlotte, how do I do this? I don't know if I can do it on my own.'  
'But you're not on your own Mum. We are all here with you.'  
'Ellie, I watched your nan lose who she was and towards the end it was unbearable. I don't think I can go through it again. I haven't got the strength. I love Bernie; more than anything. But if she doesn't know who I am, is it worth it?'  
'If you love her enough Auntie Serena, then of course it is worth it. Love is worth fighting for. You and Auntie Bernie taught me that. And now you are going to give up because it's too hard. I never took you for a coward Auntie Serena. Stupid yes, but a coward never.'  
'I'm not a coward.'

'So, go and be with her then. It's up to you to make her remember all of you. You need to make her see That your going to be there come hell or high water, your not running away. And that your fighting for your love with all you have. Because even if she doesn't remember all of it, some of it has to come back. You are too important to her for it not to come back Serena.'

Charlotte word seemed to hit a chord with Serena. She smiled at them through her tears, before wiping her eyes and turning on her heels. She was going back. Back to Bernie, who she had never should have left in the first place. She knew she had to fight to keep the Berena love alive. The question remained. 

Would Bernie ever remember those that she had once held so dear? I love time would tell...


	57. Tears

57: 

Serena stood the other side of the door, not sure she was ready for what was about to happen. Charlotte had managed to convince her she needed to come back. If this was the other way around, Bernie would be fighting to make sure Serena remembered. So she knew she had to do the same. It was all down to her now.

She knew she had to be strong and that she had to try and bring her Bernie back to her. But she had no idea how to do it. And where to start? Well that seemed easy. First she had to assess what sort of condition Bernie was in, how much she remembered. Taking a breath, she pushed open the door.

She turned around and closed the door behind her, taking to calm her breathing. She was so scared as to what state Bernie was going to be in. It had taken everything she had just to be here now.   
'Breathe Serena. She's behind you. Just turn around.'

Her pep talk did little to raise her spirits. It had taken all of her not to do what Bernie had been accustomed to. Run away. For once, she understood why Bernie had done it for most of her life. It was easier to save herself all the heartache and pain. But she knew she couldn't run away. She'd married Bernie, she loved her. She'd made a promise to her. 

'The only thing I need to vow to you, is to stand by you and keep on loving you.' Serena's vow to Bernie at the altar came back to her mind. She'd promised to always stand by Bernie, and here she was, thinking of running out on her. She should be ashamed of herself. Wiping away the tears that had began to build up in her eyes, she sucked in a breath and turned around. 

Bernie was on her back, her neck in a brace to keep her head secure. So she had heard the door open but hadn't known who it was there. Until the woman from earlier came into view. The one who had cried her name and then ran out. Bernie could instantly tell she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her brown eyes were full of tears, and despite repeated blinking, they refused to budge. 

The sight of Bernie in a neck brace was all Serena could bear, but she forced herself to walk towards Bernies bed. As soon as the locked eyes, Serena's eyes filled up with tears. Bernie was looking through her, as if she didn't know who she was.

'Bernie?'  
'Yes?'  
'Do you really not know who I am?'  
'Sorry, should I?'  
'Bernie, it's me, Serena.'  
'Serena?' Serena watched as Bernie tried to place her. For a moment, Serena saw something flash between Bernies eyes, a possible recognition, and then Bernie nodded.  
'Oh yes. Serena Campbell right?'  
'Yes? Yes! That's me.'  
'We run the ward together don't we?'

'Oh!' Bernie seemed to have drawn her name from somewhere along with a memory, but she couldn't remember anything else about the two of them. Serena felt her heart break in two. Bernie seemed to remember they ran the ward but that was the extent of their relationship.   
'Serena, what happened? I don't know who most people are. I remember you vaguely and Hanssen when he came to see me. But I had a visit from a young man called Cameron. He said he was my son, is that true?'  
'Yes, he is your son. And I'm not just a colleague. Im your wife.'  
'My wife?'  
'Bernie, we've been married five years. Please say you remember us together. My heart is breaking.'  
'Married? You and me?'  
'Yes. Five years last week. You really don't remember any of it?'  
'Are you sure you're not mistaking me for someone else?'  
'Bernie, I couldn't. You're my world. I love you.'  
'I'm sorry Serena. I don't know what you're talking about. The only memory I have of you; is in Hanseens office, when you proposed we ran the ward together. Or is that not real?'  
'No, that is real. How can you remember that and nothing else?'

Serena felt the tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She couldn't do this. She wasn't strong enough. Raising her hands and shaking her head, she let out a sob and ran out the room. Shutting the door behind her, she slid down it and collapsed in a heap at the foot of it. 

Her Bernie. Her darling wife. Couldn't remember anything about the two of them. Hugging her knees to her chest, she buried her head in her knees and began to cry. 

Berena. Bernie and Serena. At that moment, only seperated by a door. But they couldn't have been further apart if they tried. Serena couldn't pretend anymore. What could she do now? Bernie didn't remember anything. Were they broken behind repair?


	58. Remembering

58: 

Bernie had been given food for thought by Serena's visit. She had been desperate for Bernie to remember who she was, and she'd ran out in tears. Bernie hadn't meant to upset her, she just didn't remember. 

The sound of the door being pushed open.   
'Serena?'   
She called out her name before she could stop herself. Would she have done that ten minutes ago? 

'No, Serena is in the waiting room. She needed to calm down.' A man who she knew she recognised came into view. This was the first person she'd actually recognised since the crash, without being prompted. Who was he? Where did she know him from?

The man stood watching her for a moment. He could see that she was remembering something.  
'Raf?'  
His smile told her she was right.   
'Yes, that's me. Are you okay?'  
'I don't know. I don't know what happened.'  
'You crashed your car.'  
'Was anyone hurt?'  
'Just yourself. Serena was in the car but you saved her.'  
'Serena was in the car with me? Why? And what do you mean I saved her?'  
'You threw yourself on top of her to protect her. To stop any injury to her. And she was in the car with you because she had a hospital appointment. To see if she could return to work after the transplant.'  
'Wait, what transplant?'  
'Kidney transplant. Don't you remember?'  
'Remember what?'  
'Bernie, you were suffering with AKF and Serena risked her own life, to give you one of her kidneys. She nearly died.'

Bernie couldn't believe what she was hearing. If all of this was true, Serena had risked her own life to help Bernie and how had she repaid her? By losing her memory.   
'This is all true?'  
'Bernie, I swear. Serena is beside herself with worry. She loves you more than anything. And you love her too. You must remember something, you remembered me?'  
'It's like my brain is a jigsaw with half the bits missing. I remember certain things. The only memory I have of Serena is in Hanssens office. That's all. I wish I could remember more. Because it sounds like we have quite the relationship'  
'Oh, you do. You two are quite the lovebirds on AAU.'  
'And we're married?'  
'Yes, I remember the wedding. We planned it for Serena, as a surprise. You wanted to show her how much you loved her.'  
'Where is she?'  
'In the waiting room. Would you like to see her?'  
'Yes, I think I need to talk to her. I owe her an apology. And if I love her as much as you say.'  
'Okay, I will go and get her.'

*********************************

Twenty minutes later, Serena and Raf opened the door to the room. Serena had been reluctant to return to Bernie as it was hurting her too much. She didn't think she could do it again, but Raf had persuaded her to come and speak to her. Bernie seemed to want to remember, she just couldn't.

But Bernie was asleep. She'd drifted off while waiting for them to return. As soon as Serena saw her asleep, she broke down again. She was amazed she had any tears left to cry after the day she had had, but they flowed out of her like a tap. 

She put her hand in Bernies and squeezed it. Raf stood watching her, wishing there was someway he could make her feel better.  
'Why did she remember you?'  
'I don't know Serena. I really don't.'  
'I need her back here with me. As she was. I can't cope without her. She's my world, my soulmate. But you know what hurts the most. That she looks at me but she isn't seeing me, she's looking right through me. Like I'm a ghost. She doesn't know who I am. Well she doesn't remember us. And it's killing me.'  
'Serena, I really wish I could make it better.'  
'Raf, there's nothing anyone can do. She's gone. Yes, she's still Bernie. But she's not my Bernie. She doesn't remember who or what we have. We've been through so much, and I can't stand by and watch her forget all we had. It's better if we cut our losses. I can't believe it's come to this. I thought we were forever.'

'But we are Serena.'  
Bernie had been hearing Serena's emotional, heartfelt speech and it had stirred something inside her. Brought back feelings. In her sleep, she had dreamed of Serena, but she wasn't sure if any of them were real or made up. 

Hearing Bernies words, Serena looked down at her. Bernie opened her eyes and locked them in contact with Serena.  
'What did you say?'  
'You said you thought we were forever. I said we are.'  
'How do you know that?'  
'Because I said it to you once right? Or is that not real?'  
'Yes, yes, you did.'  
'We are forever. We're fierce, forceful and forever.'


	59. Fighting Talk

59:

Serena stood staring at Bernie for a moment, registering what she had said. Bernie could see that Serena was thinking, but was powerless as to what it was.  
'Bernie, are you remembering things?'  
'Hearing what you said just now. About me being your world. It seemed to stir something inside me. I'm not saying I remember everything, but that brought back something.'  
'I don't care how little. The main thing is you remember something.'

Bernie squeezed Serena's hand in gratitude. Raf stood there watching them and then made his excuses to leave.  
'Raf?'  
Serena's voice stopped him in the doorway.  
'Than you for making me come back and not run out on her. I can't tell you how much I needed your advice today.'  
'What are friends for?'  
He smiled in response and left them too it. 

'Running out on who? Me?'  
'Bernie, I'm sorry. I should never even thought about it. Just you didn't recognise me, remember me, and it was a hard pill to swallow. I thought it was easier to cut our losses and call it a day.'  
'Well I can hardly blame you. I ran out on you before didn't I?'  
'Well yes, but that's not the point....'

Serena stopped mid sentence as she processed what Bernie said.   
'Ran out on me? You remember?'  
'I think so. I ran off and left you on the frontline. Then I was in the accident and never came back....'  
'No! That wasn't me. You had an accident yes, but you were in the army. I didn't know you then.'  
'Well who am I thinking of?'  
'Alex.'

Serena's voice broke at saying Alex's name. The fact Bernie remembered more about her than she did about their relationship was a cruel twist of fate. But Serena knew that Bernie was trying.   
'Who's Alex?'  
'She's your ex girlfriend in a manner of speaking.'   
'My ex? So I'm not with her now?'  
'No, you're with me. You're married to me. Do you remember? You remembered what we said- what you said to me. And you did run out on me, but not when you were in the army, when we first got feelings. You went to Kiev.'  
'So the running away im thinking of wasn't with you? That was before I knew you, with this Alex? And then I got with you and ran away again? Sounds like I'm quite the catch.'  
'But you are Bernie. You came back and I forgave you.'  
'Why?'  
'Because I love you and you love me.'

Bernies mind was a complete jumble at the moment. So many memories, which ones were real and which ones was she imagining?  
'Serena? I don't mean to be clueless. I remember me saying that phrase to you. Hearing you so upset brought it back to me. That's a sign to me that we must live each other. And the fact you gave me a kidney.'  
'Do you remember that?'  
'No, Raf told me. But I believe him, so the fact you risked your life for me. And how do I repay you? By losing my memory. A great wife I am aren't I?'

Bernie began to cry. She felt so bad, not being able to remember Serena. She was trying with all her might, but besides the two memories, she had no other recollection. Why was she so useless?

Watching Bernie cry, Serena caressed her cheek.   
'Hey, ssh, it's okay. Bernie, I'm here.'  
'Serena....'  
'Bernie, I love you. We're going to get through this. I'm not going to lose you, not after everything we've been through. Our story isn't going to end like this.'  
'You mean that?'  
'Bernie, j couldn't leave you, even if I wanted to. I love you way too much. I'll get you back somehow. I cannot and will not lose you. We're a team.'  
'We're Berena.'


	60. Renewal

60: 

Serena hated being in this room. It was cold, dark and uninviting. She was sick of staring at the same four walls- the waiting room became quite claustrophobic when you'd spent as much time as Serena had in the last few days.

She had been taken aback when Bernie had called them Berena. She must have remembered that from somewhere. So there was hope after all, Bernie was still in there and coming back to her. That was all the motivation that Serena needed to keep their love alive. 

Bernies neck brace had been removed, and she was having an MRI at the moment, so they could try and measure up what damage she had done to herself, and what they could do about her memories. 

Serena had been sat in the waiting room for over an hour, when Hanssen appeared in the doorway.   
'Hanssen, how is she?'  
'It would appear that there is pressure on her temporal lobe. That would account for her significant loss of memory. I have ordered Mr Griffin to take her to theatre, which is where I am heading as well now. We will know more in due course.'  
'So, the pressure? That's why she doesn't remember things? Once it's drained, she will be okay?'  
'I believe her memories will return to normal. As for her condition, I will refer back to previous statement about knowing more in due course.'  
'Right, well thank you for the update.'

*********************************

90 minutes later, Ric appeared in the doorway to update Serena on Bernie. He smiled when he saw she was asleep in the chair. He walked over to her and gently shook her. She jumped, obviously startled and then relaxed when she saw it was Ric.

'Sorry, I didnt mean to scare you. I just thought you might want to know, Bernies back on the ward. In recovery.'  
'How did it go?'  
'I released all of the pressure and there seemed to be no lasting damage. I guess we'll know more when she comes round.'  
'She's still asleep?'  
'Yes, I thought you might want to be with her when she woke up.'  
'Yes. Yes. Thank you. For everything.'  
'It was my pleasure. Now, go.'

Serena opened the door and went rushing to Bernies side. She looked so peaceful. Clasping her hand tight, she caressed Bernies cheek.  
'Bernie, I'm here. I'm staying right by your side. I can't believe what has happened to us in the last 48 hours but I know we are strong enough to beat this. As long as your here, I can survive anything. Nothing but knowing you love me too- that's all I need to keep me going.'

'Of course I love you, you daft banana. That's why I married you wasn't it?'  
Bernie opened her eyes, and while her voice was groggy, she seemed to be herself again.  
'You, you know who I am?'  
'Serena, are you okay? Of course I know who you are.'  
'You remember?'  
'Of course I do. I'm nothing without you.'  
'Bernie, after the accident, you didn't remember who I was. And Cam as well. Then you thought I was Alex. I thought I'd lost you.'  
'Serena, I don't know I did that. And I'm sorry. You are not Alex. You know what I feel for you.'  
'Do I?'  
'Serena Campbell, you're my wife. I love you more than anything. You know that.'  
'I just haven't heard it for a while.'  
'I don't need to say something for it to be true. Remember?

Serena returned Bernies smile and leant down to give her a kiss.  
'Marry me.'   
'Excuse me.'  
'You heard me.'  
'Serena, we are already married.'  
'Yes I know that.'  
'So, why are you asking me again?'  
'I want us to renew our vows.'  
'Renew them? Why?'  
'Because we're in love and why not? You planned an amazing ceremony last time, out of love for me. It just came to me, maybe it's a bad idea. I don't know.'

Bernie put a finger to Serena's lips and studied her far for a second.  
'You're serious about this?'  
'Bernie, I love you. And I know it's official already, but after almost losing each other these last few months, i don't want to ever be apart from you. I love you too much'  
'Then let's do it.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes.'

Bernie and Serena have come through their worst test yet, fighting and still stronger than ever. With renewed love and determination, they proved that they can conquer anything. Now, they have another wedding to plan, with Serena at the helm. I guess r saying is true- love really does conquer all.


	61. Saving

61: 

Sleep came to Serena like the falling of an axe. She knew it was coming but she had been fighting it with everything she had. Those few hours when she was dead to the world were enough for her body to rejuvenate and recover; but she couldn't stand to be away from Bernie. Especially now she was back to her old self. But eventually fatigue overcame and she succumbed to her tiredness, her hand tightening around Bernie as she drifted out of the real world and into the dream world she'd been trying so desperately hard to avoid. 

*********************************

Bernie didn't know how long she'd been gazing at Serena. She'd woken up to find Serena's head on her hand, then she'd stretched in her sleep and elongated her body backwards. Bernie couldn't remember when she'd last seen Serena look so peaceful yet vulnerable.

She could see what the last few days had done to her. All the lines on her forehead, she looked like she'd hadn't slept properly, which she probably hadn't. 

Serena began to stir and Bernie squeezed her hand in reassurance that she was there.   
'Bernie?'  
'It's me. I'm here.'  
Serena squeezed Bernies hand with such force it almost cut the supply of blood to Bernies hand. She opened her eyes and they just say looking into each other's soul through their emotive and unblinking eyes.

'I'm so sorry for what I've done to you Serena.'  
'What are you talking about?'  
'Forgetting all the details of us. I can see what it's done to you. You look troubled and liken you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders'  
'I did.'  
'And I know; every time you look at me, your going to see how much I hurt you, an remember the time when I lost my memory.'  
'That's not true.'  
'Isn't it? I've been watching you sleep.'  
'I wasn't looking at you was I?'  
'No, but Serena, I was looking at you. I keep seeing it. I'm so sorry; I really am.'

Bernies voice wavered and she broke down in tears. Serena immediately sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around her. Bernie tried to push her away but Serena refused to be pushed aside.   
'It's okay, I'm here.'  
'Serena..it's not okay...'  
'Hey, all that matters is you and me. Every time I see you, it just reminds me how much I love you. Every time I look at you, I fall in love with you all over again.'  
'So you don't see what I did to you?'  
'Bernie, you didn't do anything. It was an accident. You saved me, and nearly lost your life in the process.'  
'Just like you did for me when you gave me your kidney.'  
'We have a habit of doing this don't we?'

At last Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her as close as she could to her.   
'A habit of what?'  
'Saving each other and nearly dying in the process.'  
'That's what love is Bernie. Or at least our love. Our love is passionate and real. It's all or nothing.'  
'It's our Berena love.'  
'That it is'

Bernie withdrew her arms and kissed Serena on the cheek. Serena smiled and kissed her back.  
'Promise me something.'  
'Anything.'  
'You don't know what it is yet Bernie.'  
'I'd promise you anything Serena. I love you too much.'  
'I know.'  
'There are no words to describe how much I love you. No-one has ever loved anyone as much as I loved you. No words to describe just what I wouldn't do for you Serena. How much I would do to make you happy, how the only thing on my mind is you. I'd move heaven and earth to make you happy, go to the ends of he earth for you. I don't know how to describe it.'

Bernie looked at Serena, who was crying silent tears.  
'I think you just did describe it.'  
'Do you get it now?'  
'Bernie, I never doubted any of that, but it's so nice to hear you say it.'  
'I mean every word. I love you more than anything.'  
'And I love you. More than anything. I do take exception to one thing you said though.'  
'What did I do?'  
'You didnt do anything. One thing was slightly inaccurate that all.'  
'Which bit?'  
Serena took Bernies hands in her own and interlocked their fingers.  
'The part about no-one loving anyone as much as you loved me. There's one exception to that. Me'

Bernie smiled at Serena.  
'What was the promise?'  
'What?'  
'You wanted me to promise you something.'  
'Oh that. I want you to promise to keep saving me. I know it's tough and it's hard but you save me and I save you. It's almost what we do.'  
'Serena, you saved me all those years ago when you let me love you. But I can promise that. As long as you are always there for me, I will always save you.'  
'That's all I want to hear.'  
'I love you so much'  
'And I you Ms Wolfe.'


	62. Surprises

62:

Over the next two days, Serena hardly left Bernies side. She was getting stronger with each passing moment, and Serena couldn't wait for Bernie to be able to go home with her. Cameron, Charlotte, Elinor and Jason had all been visiting. They were all relieved to find Bernie back to her old self. And even more so when they heard about them renewing their vows. It was like they'd found a new lease of life, no more likely they had realised just how precious life was and they didn't want to spend a single moment apart from each other.

Serena opened her eyes and smiled when she saw the blonde still asleep opposite her. Bernie had been having nightmares the last couple of nights and Serena had spent many hour into the morning with her arms wrapped around her, trying to comfort her.

But last night Bernie hadn't had any and that was good news all around. Serena had slept disjointed in the chair but she could cope, Bernie needed her rest so she could come home. Serena wanted Bernie to be at home with her so she could look after her. Maybe Hanssen would let her take Bernie home, the way she had been allowed to go home.

*********************************

Bernie opened her eyes. Despite the November cold, the sunshine was streaming through the curtains. But she knew not even the weather would dampen her spirits. She and Serena were finally starting to get their lives together back on track. The last four months had been one test after another. While they'd both been to the ends of the earth for worrying, they were now at the centre of each other's universes once more; and that was how she wanted it to stay.

Thinking of Serena, Bernie rolled over into her side, expecting to see Serena her sat in the chair. But there was no-one there. The last two days, Bernie had woken up to see Serena in the chair waiting for her to wake up. Why was today any different? Maybe she'd only gone to the bathroom. She would be back, Bernie knew that. So she lay back on her pillows with a smile on her face, and despite it all, she fell back to sleep.

*********************************

Serena pushed open the door with one hand- the other was holding a huge bunch of roses. Shutting the door behind her, she turned to the bed and her face broke out into a smile. Bernie was still asleep. Serena noticed a little smirk on her face, and wondered what she was dreaming about.

Putting the flowers in the empty vase on the table next to the bed, Serena sat down on the edge of the bed and began to caress Bernies cheek. Bernie began to stir and she opened her eyes.  
'Hello sleepyhead.'  
'Ah, the wanderer returns'  
'Wanderer? Who me?'  
'Who else in the room Serena? Where did you disappear to?'  
'I had something to do.'

Bernie paused for a moment and put her hand on top of Serenas. Her eyes closed at the contact. The last week had been hard on the two of them but they were determined to make it work and they loved each other more than anything. 

'What did you have to do?'  
'Ah, all in good time Bernie. How are you feeling this morning?'  
'I'm okay. Feeling lots better. I can't wait to get home. Probably won't be for a while yet though.'  
'Maybe, maybe not.'

Bernie looked at Serena. She knew when her wife was upto something.  
'What are you up to Serena Campbell?'  
'Ah, but that would be telling Bernie. I promise I will let you know. But not just yet.'  
'Why not?'  
'Bernie, trust me.'  
'I trust you, you know that.'  
'You will find out today, but at the right time.'

Bernie sat up in the bed and pulled Serena in for a cuddle. After a moment, she noticed the flowers.  
'Are they for me?'  
'What?'  
'The flowers.'  
Serena broke away from Bernie and looked at the roses.  
'Oh yes. I forgot about those. They are for you yes.'  
'You shouldn't have.'  
'I didn't.'  
'But then...'  
'Bernie, I know you're not a flowers kind of woman. Why do you think I never get you any? From everyone upstairs.'  
'The ward?'  
'Yes, they send their love. They are missing you.'  
'I'm missing them as well.'  
'I miss being there with you.'  
'And i miss being there with you. Still, we're still here together, that's all that matters right?'  
'Yes Bernie. Yes it is. Me and you against the world.'

Bernie returned Serenas smile in an instant and leaned over to give her a kiss. Bernie was so in love with Serena right now, and vice versa, they were as close as they had ever been. 

Serena had a surprise for Bernie. Her idea earlier had formed a conclusive plan. The flowers were step one. There was more to come. Serenas way of showing her love to Bernie. Let's just hope she liked it.


	63. Four Walls

63:

Serena and Bernie spent the rest of the morning chatting. Curled up on Bernie’s bed, the hours slipped by as they spent their time with each other, completely and utterly devoted to one another.  
‘You know this is the most normal we’ve been in a long time?’  
‘I wouldn’t go that far Serena. It’s the most calm we’ve been I could say. I hate to think that us being in the hospital is becoming normality for us.’  
‘Hey, it won't be forever. You’ll be better and back on your feet in no time; I have no doubt of that.’  
‘Well I hope so. When are you going to tell me about this plan of yours? I’m dying to know what it is.’  
‘All in good time Bernie. I promise, you won’t be in the dark for too much longer.’  
‘Not even a hint?’

Serena laughed as ass she bent down to kiss Bernie.  
‘Nope.’  
‘You’re a cruel woman Serena Campbell.’  
‘I learnt from the best didn’t I.’  
‘I hope you don’t mean me. I’m not the one who holds take it the grave grudges.’  
Serena quelled Bernie with a look, and Bernie couldn’t keep the mischief off her face. Serena stood up and as the blood rushed down to her legs, she wobbled slightly.  
‘Serena, have you been drinking?’  
‘Ha-ha, very funny. No, I just lost feeling in my legs that’s all. (glancing at her watch). It’s time for me to go now.’  
‘Go, go where?’  
‘I will be back soon I promise.’  
‘Do you have to go?’ I’m like you when I got discharged. Thought I was okay with it, but I’m not. I hate being here without you.’

Serena turned round to face Bernie and covered her hands with her own, squeezing them gently.  
‘I know how it feels. I get it Bernie. And that’s why I’m doing something about it. But that’s all I’m going to tell you.’  
‘Doing something about it? About what?’  
‘That’s for me to know and you to find out. I’m going to go now. I love you Bernie Campbell-Wolfe, you know that right?’  
‘I do believe I know that. I love you too Serena, don’t be a stranger.’  
‘As if I would Bernie.’

Serena gave Bernie a reassuring smile and then walked out of the room. Bernie watched her go and then looked around the room. This room was beginning to feel like a prison cell rather than a hospital ward. The same four walls greeted her every day and when she was on her own, it was hard to stop feeling isolated and lonely. Feeling the tears well up in her eyes, she slid back down in the bed, before pulling the quilt up and crying her tears silently into her pillow. 

*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

‘Mum?’  
Hearing Charlotte’s voice, Bernie blinked back her tears. She wasn’t expecting her daughter to be here.  
‘Charlie?’ Bernie pulled the quilt down and sat up. Charlotte walked over and sat down.  
‘Where’s Ari?’  
‘With Dad. Serena called.’  
‘Serena called you?’  
‘Yes, she thought you might want some company while she takes care of what she has to do.’  
‘Do you know what she’s up to?’  
‘She told Ellie, and I was there earlier dropping back Ruby’s teddy, so she filled me in. That’s why I’m here.’  
‘I don’t understand.’  
‘I know what Serena is planning, but I’m not going to tell you anything. Serena would kill me and Elinor into the bargain.’  
‘I’m sick of being here. It’s beginning to feel like I’m imprisoned and when I’m on my own, it’s hard, I’m lonely Charlie. And I know I should be grateful to be here after what Serena and I have experienced in the last few months, but I want to be with her, with all of you,. I don’t think I even remember what a normal life is.’  
‘Mum, its okay. Serena gets it, she was here wasn’t she when you were discharged. Trust me, you won’t be feeling like this for much longer. Just be patient.’

Across town, back at the house, Elinor had gone to her Mum’s to check how things were progressing. They were sat in the living room, while Jade was sleeping in her car seat and Ruby was playing aimlessly with her dolls.  
‘Charlotte is with her Mum now. I hope Bernie is okay. She wasn’t herself this morning.’  
‘Mum, when she gets home, she will be fine. It’s the fact that she’s on her own, that’s what upsetting her.’  
‘Do you have any idea how much I cannot wait to have her here? She spent weeks looking after me, I want her to know we haven’t forgotten her. That’s what the flowers were for. She needs to know how much we all love her and miss her.’  
‘Mum, I think she knows that. Bernie is a very lucky woman.’

‘Is Nanny Bernie okay? Mummy said she isn’t very well.’ Ruby ran over to Serena and hugged her legs. Serena smiled and picked her up.  
‘She is getting better Miss Ruby. She will be home tomorrow.’  
‘Yes! I miss her. Mummy, can we come and see her?’  
‘We’ll have to see poppet, but if not tomorrow, we will another day.’

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Later that afternoon, Bernie was lying back staring at the window. Serena had been gone hours, where was she? As if on cue, the door pushed open and Serena came running in, her hands full of apologies.  
‘I’m so sorry. The traffic was murder.’  
‘It’s okay, you’re here now. And thank you for phoning Charlie, it was nice to see her.’  
‘It seems to have brightened you up. You seem better than this morning.’  
‘Well that’s cause you’re back. Back here with me. These four walls stop being a prison cell and I can breathe again.’

Serena rushed over to Bernie and enveloped her in a hug. She had no idea Bernie had felt like this.  
‘It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’  
‘But Serena, in the morning you will go again. If you’re not here, these four walls enclose themselves around me. And it’s like that until you come back.’  
Serena kissed the top of Bernie’s head and sat in the chair, wrapping Bernie’s hands in her own. 

‘Did you listen to me? I’m not going anywhere.’  
‘But you can’t stay here indefinitely Serena, you know you can't.'  
‘You don’t have to stay here anymore either.’  
Serena watched as Bernie was caught short by what she said.  
‘What…?’  
‘You’re coming home Bernie. I said I was doing something about it? And I am. It's my turn to look after you.'  
'Coming home? Serena, please tell me this isnt a joke.'  
'Bernie, look at me. I spoke to Hanssen this morning. You're coming home. Tomorrow. I cannot stand being apart from you. I thought you knew- it was all or nothing? I'm nothing without you. and I love all of you.

Bernie wrapped her arms around Serenas shoulders and pulled her in for a hug, sobbing on to her shoulder. Bernie hadnt dared to hope that she may be able to go home. When she and Serena were together, the four walls around them didnt matter. For it was the things that the walls had in them that was important, and that was a pair of women who were so in love with each other, it was plain for everyone to see. Berena was one step closer to the normality they were both craving.


	64. Weathered the Storm

64: 

Bernie opened her eyes and took in the sight around her. This morning was so different to yesterday. Today was the day she was going home. Hopefully this was the end of their troubles. They'd been through so much lately, it was difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but Bernie hoped this was the end of all the angst. Fingers crossed.

It was the end of November and the chill in the air was unmistakable but the sun was determined to put in an effort today. It's rays shone through the gaps in the curtains. As Bernie sat up, basking in the warmth of the sun, she gazed at the woman asleep in the chair next to her. Her wife. Her lifeline. 

'Are you staring at me again?'   
'So what if I am?'  
'Bernie Wolfe, you know I could do you for harassment.'  
'So, sue me Serena Campbell.'  
Serena opened her eyes and smiled mischievously at Bernie. Bernie smiled back and then reached over for Serena's hands, who took them without hesitation. 

Squeezing them, Serena moved and sat down on the bed next to Bernie.   
'So, today's the day.'  
'I know, I can't wait.'  
'Me and you at home. Together. It's all I want right now.'  
'Do you think we have had enough now? Like you think we can just be happy?'  
'Serena. I am happy as long as I have you. Every single wave that has been thrown at us, yes we've drowned for a time but we've always emerged to the surface. We'll be fine. We have each other.'  
'I know as long as I have you, I will be fine.'  
'I'm the same Serena. I love you. You know that.'  
'Yes I believe that has been mentioned from time to time.'

Serena smiled and wrapped her arms around Bernie. Pulling her close, she ran her hands through her hair. Bernie felt the tears well up in her eyes. Serena heard Bernie sniffing and pulled away concerned.

'What's up?'  
'I'm just happy.'  
'Happy?'  
'That we're through the worst. Whatever has been thrown at us, we've always come through it. Me and you together. We weathered the storm.'  
'We always have and we always will. Together. Me and you are two of a kind Bernie. We're Berena. We can cope with anything as long as we have each other by our side.'

Bernie returned Serenas smile and squeezed her hands gently. The two of them had faced so much adversity in the last few weeks, they were hoping today was the start of it coming together. 

There are happier times in store for Berena. The holiday season was approaching and then Serena had a surprise up her sleeve. Two people in love like these two are special. They can get through anything, break down walls to be together. It's a love that most of us would kill for. But Berena was something to celebrate. Happier times are on the horizon.


	65. Representation Matters

65: 

Later that morning, Bernie was on her own in the room. Serena had gone home an hour ago to freshen up before coming back to collect Bernie. She was due back anime now. 

The cold November air made her teeth chatter, but not even the cold could stop the warm glow she felt from emanating from inside of her. After everything that she and Serena had experienced in the last few months- AKF, the transplant, Serena nearly dying, the crash, her amnesia- she couldn't wait for them to be back at home together. 

'Bernie?'  
Bernie had been immersed in her thoughts, so deep that she hadn't seen or heard the door being pushed open. Clearly startled, she relaxed when she saw Fletch stood there with a smirk on his face.  
'Not interrupting anything am I?'  
'Like what?'  
'Oh I don't know. Whatever you were thinking of.'  
'Haha. I was just thinking, a woman is allowed you know.'  
'I never said anything. So, I hear we're finally getting shot of you'  
'Yes I'm going home at last. But don't think you're rid of me Adrian Fletcher. I'll be on that phone every day to check on you all, and in a few weeks, I'll be back. You can be sure of that.'  
'I have no doubt of that for a second. And I am actually looking forward to it. AAU isn't the same without its co-leads. You and Serena have been missed.'  
'I should bloody well hope so as well.'  
'What?'  
'No, I'm joking.'  
Bernie caught sight of Fletch's perplexed expression and burst into fits of giggles.

Serena stopped outside the door and paused for a moment. Hearing laughter she smiled. Bernie has such an infectious laugh, and it had been so long since she had heard it.   
'Auntie Serena?'  
Swinging around, she saw Jason standing behind her with a determined look on his face.  
'Are you standing out here for a reason? Have you and Auntie Bernie fell out again?'  
'What?'  
'Honestly, Auntie Serena, are you this stupid all of the time?'  
'Jason, what made you think that Bernie and me have fallen out?'  
'Because your staying out here.'  
'I was just listening to her laugh and appreciating her. It's been so long since I heard it, that's all.'  
'Oh, so you haven't fallen out?'  
'No, Jason we haven't. We are very much the same.'  
'Well, we aren't long to stay here all day are we. Come on.'  
'After you Jason.'

Jason shook his head at his own impertinence and pushed open the door. Fletch was standing at the window laughing. Bernie was laughing too, but the appearance of Jason and Serena in the doorway, saw her mouth break into a wide grin.

'Hello Jason.'  
'Hi Auntie Bernie. How are you?'  
'I'm very well thank you. All the better for seeing you.'  
'Are you ready to come home? We can't wait to have you home Bernie.'  
'I can't wait Serena, and yes I'm ready. When are we going?'  
'No time like the present.'  
'Fletch, did Mikey give you that DVD of Doctor Who back. He did say I could have it back tonight.'  
'Oh yes he did. It's upstairs, do you want to come now and get it?'  
'Auntie Serena, can I meet you down here later?'  
'I should think that is okay Jason. I'm just going to help Bernie. I'll text you when we're ready, okay?'  
'Okay.'

Jason left the room with Fletch. As soon as they left, Bernie pushed the duvet back and swung her legs over the side of the bed.   
'What are you doing?'  
'Laying an egg, what does it look like I'm doing. I'm getting up.'  
'You are not. You're coming home, you're on bedrest madam. No arguments.'  
'But..'  
'Bernie, im not having you jeopardise your recovery. It matters too much to me. You have to get better.'  
'Serena, I'm fine.'  
'Bernie, you made me stay in bed. Now the same applies to take you.'  
'But that's different.'   
'So you can dish out the orders Bernie but you can't take them.'

Bernie quelled Serena with a look.  
'I can take the orders. I just don't think there's any need for them.'  
'Well I do. We need you well again. It matters too much to everyone else. Now, get back in that bed and do as your told.'  
'Yes ma'am.' Bernie giggled. She loved Serena when she adopted a little force and authority.'

********************************

An hour later, Bernie; Serena and Jason emerged from the hospital. Bernie being pushed in her wheelchair by Jason. Serena was determined that she should do noting that she didn't need to. Time for them to leave the hospital for a while and focus on each other.

Recovery meant too much to each other. For each other they represented their very reason for existence. And it mattered too much for them to jeopardise it. Let's just hope this recovery is smooth, so they can get back to doing what they do best.

Because what they did best was representing their love and it matterered that their love was strong.


	66. Home

Serena drew up outside the house. The journey home from the hospital had been filled with awkward silence; Jason had gone back to work, so there was just her and Bernie in the car. Bernie had been oddly quiet on the way home- Serena had assumed she didn’t want to talk much. But as she switched off the ignition, she glanced over to her left. Bernie was staring blankly out the window. Reaching over, she covered Bernie’s hand with one of her own.  
‘Bern?’  
‘Hmm...’  
‘What’s up?’  
‘What...oh nothing I’m fine.’  
‘Don’t give me that. You’ve been quiet since we left the hospital. I thought you were excited to be coming home.’  
‘I was... No I am.’

Squeezing Bernie’s hand gently, Serena wanted to reassure her she was here for her.  
‘Bernie? It’s okay to feel overwhelmed you know. You’ve spent the last few weeks pretty much staring at the same four walls. It’s bound to feel strange now you’ve left.’  
‘Serena, I was waiting to go home. I couldn’t wait, but now I’m here, I don’t know; something felt strange leaving that room. I thought I would be glad to be shot of it. But it felt weird leaving. That makes me sound crazy doesn’t it?’  
‘No, it doesn’t. Stop thinking that right this minute. It’s bound to feel weird. You’ve grown used to having those as your surroundings; it’s what you’ve grown accustomed to. Don’t worry; I felt exactly the same when I left.’  
‘You did?’  
‘Yes, of course I did. But it passes. When you get in, you’ll start to feel better, I promise.’  
‘I am glad to be home, honestly.’  
‘Well, good, because I am so glad to have you back. You’ll be back to your old self in no time.’  
‘I cannot wait to get back to work.’  
‘Lets not run before we can walk. Lets get you well again. Just take one day at a time.’  
‘With you right?’  
‘Bernie, I’m not going anywhere. You know that. There is nowhere else I need, nor would rather be, than right here with you, believe me.’  
‘Oh I do Serena.’

Serena unfastened her seatbelt, and made to open the door, but Bernie pulled her hands away from the door. Instead, she pulled her closer to her and wrapped her arms around her.   
‘Can we stay out here, just a bit longer? I’m enjoying the quiet. I missed it, and I missed having you next to me like this. It’s been so long since one of us hasn’t been in the hospital bed.’  
‘Of course we can stay out here if you want. I missed you too Bernie.’  
‘Whatever I did to deserve you in my life Serena Campbell, I will never know, but I am so lucky to have you. The way you’ve held my hand, taken care of me. You’ve been amazing. I love you so much.’  
‘Hey, Bernie, I’m returning the favour. The way you looked after me after I nearly died, I will never fully be able to repay you for that. This is just a small way of making it up to you, a small way of saying thank you.’  
‘Thank you for what? Serena, you saved my life by giving me a kidney. You will never know how much I have to thank you for.’

Bernie kissed Serena on the top of her forehead and pulled her even closer. Serena snuggled against her for a minute, and then pulled away, wiping tears from her eyes.  
‘Come on, we better get inside.’  
‘Okay.’  
Serena let herself out the car and came round to let Bernie out. Closing the door when she was out, she offered her hand to Bernie, who took it without question.  
‘Ready?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Let’s get you inside then.’

Serena helped Bernie up the path to the doorstep, all the time while holding her close. Bernie was a little unsteady on her feet, but Serena was there for her, just as she always was. Opening the door, she let Bernie in first, and then shut it behind her. Bernie glanced around the hallway and it suddenly hit her, she was home. Breathing out, she relaxed against Serena, squeezing her hands.  
‘Was I right?’  
‘Yes, you were right. It hit me, I’m home.’  
‘Yes, you are, finally. This is the last time any of us is being brought home from hospital by the other. Deal?’  
‘Deal.’

Bernie reached out a hand for the living room door, but Serena suddenly put her hands over Bernie’s eyes.  
‘Serena? What are you doing?’  
Opening the door with her foot, she pushed Bernie through.  
‘Serena?’  
‘Bernie, it’s okay I’m here.’  
‘Well I know that. You’re hands are over my eyes, what are you doing?’  
‘Bernie, patience is something you will never grasp is it?’

Serena removed her hands from Bernie’s eyes, who blinked in the daylight of the room. Suddenly, Cameron, Charlotte and Elinor jumped out from behind the sofa.  
‘Surprise!’  
Bernie was clearly taken aback.  
‘What... What is all this?’  
‘Welcome home Mum. We missed you.’ Charlotte immediately rushed over to give her Mum a hug.  
‘Serena asked us here, to welcome you home. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you’re here.’  
‘I can’t tell you how shocked I am to see you all here Cam.’  
‘Bernie, we’re your family, where else would we be?’ Elinor smiled at Bernie and wrapped her Mum in a hug. 

Bernie looked at her children and Elinor, and suddenly burst into tears. Serena laughed fondly and pulled the woman she loved into a hug, until she subsided.  
‘Shocked?’  
‘I can’t believe you did this for me.’  
‘I love you, you daft banana. Why wouldn’t I?’  
‘Thank you, for everything.’  
Bernie wrapped her hands in Serena’s.  
‘Welcome home Bernie.’  
‘I am home, so long as I have you by my side.’


	67. Pillow Talk

67.

Waking up can be really harsh, especially if the dreams are better than reality. Bernie had had that for the last few mornings, but not this morning. She was finally back where she belonged, at home with her wife. And that was where she always wanted to be. 

As she woke from a heavy slumber, she was hit by the coolness of the air- Serena had left the window open when she'd gone to bed. Blinking in the first light of the weak November sunshine, Bernie glanced to her left. She loved watching Serena sleep. The innocence painted on her face, the dreams blocking out the peaceful and Serena atmosphere. And he soft rise and fall of her chest- almost made the world standstill. Bernie could watch her sleep all day.

*********************************

Bernie had been watching Serena sleep for over an hour, when she finally began to stir. Eliciting a moan, she rolled over on to her stomach, pulling most of the duvet off Bernie as she did so.   
'Serena.'  
'Hmm...'  
She gently shook Serena.  
'Bernie?' Serena opened her eyes, blinking in the sunrise.  
'Ah, so you're awake now.'  
'Doesn't seem I have much choice in the matter.'  
'Well, you pulled the duvet off me.'  
'And?' Serena grinned at Bernie  
'You know you're not too old for douses of cold water, don't you?'

Serena buried her head in the pillow, laughing. But Bernie had other ideas. She pulled it out from Serena and hit her on he back of the head with it.  
'Hey!'  
'Would you prefer that Serena Campbell, to my gently shaking you?'  
'No, not really. But it's too late now. You've started it now. You can dish it out, but can you take it?'  
Serena picked up Bernies pillow and whacked her straight in the face with it.   
'Right, you've done it now.'  
Bernie hit Serena square in the face with her pillow straight back. Grinning at each other, they started a full blown pillow fight. For a few minutes, the only sound was the pillows flying between them, but then Berne doubled over in pain, clutching her side. 

Immediately concerned, Serena dropped her pillow to the floor and moved closer to Bernie.  
'Bern? What is it, what's wrong?'  
'The pain...'  
'Where does it hurt?'  
'My side.'  
Serena knelt down next to Bernie, putting a hand on top of hers. She was about to probe further when Bernie sat up abruptly and hit her straight in the face with the pillow. Taken aback, Serena regained her composure and raised her hands up in a surrendering motion.

'Wait, so you're not in pain?'  
'No, I was joking. Always the tone of surprise eh?'  
'Don't do that to me. I was really scared I'd hurt you then.'  
'No you didn't. I can't believe you fell for it. Can't believe I got you.'

Bernies laughter became slower as Serena began to rub the back of her hands down Bernies arm, giving her goosebumps.  
'Yeah you have.'  
'Have what?'  
'Got me.'  
'Forever?'  
'You know the answer to that.'

Bernie leant over and kissed Serena. Electricity flowed out of the two of them, passing between them, getting stronger as the kissed deepened. Gasping for breath, Serena pulled away for a second, but only to pull the duvet over their heads, away from prying eyes.


	68. Atmosphere

68:

Over the next two weeks Bernie grew stronger every day. But she rather suspected that it was down to Serena's love and attention above anything else. Still she was almost back to normal, and in just 4 days she would be back on the ward. Just in time for Christmas. The holiday season was Bernies favourite time of year.

Casting her memory back to the first Christmas they'd shared together as a couple- Bernie had never been as close to anyone as she had at that time. It had taken everything she had to let down her walls down but she was glad she had, because look at what had grown as a result. After six years of being together, Bernie was the most confident in her relationship. The last few months had proved that. 

*********************************

Serena was so looking forward to having Bernie back on the ward. And not a minute to soon, because all the holiday injuries would begin soon. Serena loved Christmas as much as anyone, even more so since she'd got together with Bernie, but people's own stupidity and injuries made it tiresome work. 

But this year she was determined to make it special for Bernie. She and Bernie were spending Christmas Day alone as Jason was working. All the family were coming over on New Years Day for a meal, but every other day they were both working. So she was determined to make sure this holiday season was the best they'd ever had.

*******************************

December had eradicated any sunlight. The air was cold, the nights were long. The whole weather was rather depressing. But inside the house, the atmosphere was completely different. 

As Serena and Bernie put up the Christmas decorations, they were completely in love with each other. Hitting each other with bits of tinsel, Serena smiled when she picked up the fake mistletoe from the cardboard box.  
'What?' Bernie stopped seeing Serena smiling. Serena held it up for Bernie to see and she grinned back inanely.   
'Come here then.'  
'Don't you have to hold it up?'  
'Okay.' Serena held it aloft and Bernie needed no encouragement. 

Closing the gap between the two of them, she looked Serena straight in the eye and then they were kissing. The curtains stood open so anyone could see inside but the two of them didn't care. With the fire roaring and the electricity between the two of them growing, it was certainly getting hot.

I have a feeling this is going to be the best Christmas yet for the two of them, don't you?


	69. Back to work

69:

Serena opened her eyes. Today was the day she had been looking forward to for ages. They were finally both going back to work- to do what they did best. Saving lives. Serena hadn't been this excited in ages. But she had sensed last night that Bernie was nervous. It was after all months since she'd set foot on the ward- and she was worried that everyone had moved with the times and put her out to pasture. Which Serena had reassured her was ridiculous. 

The curtains hadn't been drawn when they'd gone to bed last night, and Serena could see out. The air was like frozen lace on her skin, delicate and cold, like winter waves on a bed of sallow skin. The sky was washed with grey, with a weak sunshine illuminating random patches here and there. Serena breathed out. Today was going to be a good day, she knew it.

Bernie opened her eyes, and immediately saw the brunette stood staring out the window. Serena looked so cute when she did that, her head cocked to one side. Smiling to herself, she sat up. God, she liked incredible this morning. Bernie had always appreciated how beautiful her wife was but it had just struck her how much in love with her was- she completely and irrevocably hers. 

Moving like the wind, she stood behind Serena and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her in to her. Initially startled, Serena relaxed a second later, bringing her hand up to Bernies cheek.  
'Morning.'  
'Morning yourself. You seem in a good mood this morning.'  
'I'm waking up beside you. Why wouldn't I be?'  
'Bernie Wolfe, are you okay?'  
'I'm more than okay. Just completely in love with you, you know that right?'  
'I should hope so because the feeling is very much mutual.'  
'Quite right too.'  
'So, today's the day yes?'

Serena felt Bernie tense up behind her. Sensing her worry, she turned to face her.   
'What is it?'  
'I don't know if I'm ready for this Serena. It's been weeks, months even since I was last at work. It feels alien to me. What if I get there and it doesn't feel like it used to?'  
'Bernie, i get your worried, but I can't wait to go back. It's been weeks since I was there as well. After everything that has happened, im craving normality.'  
'But Serena, it just doesn't feel the same. I can't explain it. They've got so used to me not being there, what if they don't want me there?'

Serena shook her head and bought Bernies hand up to her heart.   
'What's this?'  
'Serena...?'  
'No trick, just answer the question?'  
'Your heart.'  
'You remember what i said about AAU? You're the beating heart of the ward. If you aren't there the ward can't run without you. We've all missed you. I know it feels strange, but you are the beating heart of the ward Bernie. It wouldn't exist in its form now without you.'  
'Serena...'  
'Let me finish. I know your worried, but the ward isn't the same without you. It never was. It's bound to feel strange going back today, but I'm behind you every step of the way, we'll conquer this together.'  
'Together?'  
'Together, I promise.'

Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her into a hug, before whispering into her ear.  
'Remember what I said as well? If I'm the heart, tour the support system. I can't run it without you, just like the heart can't beat without the support.'  
'I remember believe me.'

********************************

Two hours later, Bernie and Serena stood outside the door to AAU. Slipping her hand into Bernies, she squeezed it to let her know she was ready when she was.  
'You can do this.'  
'I know, as long as I have you by my side. I can do anything.'

Pushing open the door, Bernie took a deep breath, fully prepared to feel nothing, but as she glanced around th ward, a lump rose up in her throat. She was back. She was home.


	70. AAU family

70: 

Bernie leaned on the doorframe, her hands clasped around the cup of coffee from Pulses. She was back in her natural habitat, and any worried she'd had about coming back had gone away as quickly as the sun had gone behind the clouds. 

Glancing around the ward, she smiled. She'd missed everyone but Raf, Morven and Fletch were the people she'd been most desperate to see. The three of them, plus Bernie and Serena, were about as close as colleagues could get. Sometimes it was hard to draw the distinction between the two, but that was what being family was all about. 

Serena was doing the ward rounds. Bernie found herself gazing helplessly at her. She looked amazing in her favourite blue shirt. Bernie was on her break and was supposed to be sorting paperwork but she couldn't stop staring at Serena. 

Serena was trying to take the patients observations but she could feel eyes boring into her. Glancing up from the notes she was reading, she locked eyes with Bernie. The two of them were at opposite ends of the ward but they could have been the only two people in the world at that moment.

Raf was sat at the nursing station, when he caught sight of Bernie. Leaning on the doorframe, she was smiling. He didn't even need to hazard a guess as to why. And sure enough as he turned around, there too was Serena grinning inanely, like the Cheshire Cat. 

********************************

The shift passed by with no complications. And then clicking off time rolled around- Bernie has no idea why she'd been worried. She's settled back in with no problems. To say they were back to normal was an understatement. Without Serena and Bernie, the rest of the ward had stepped up to the plate. Which has only strengthened their bond as Serena and Bernie knew they could always hand the reins over again, a thing they wouldn't hesitate to do. 

'Coming for a drink ladies?' Raf stopped in the doorway.  
'Of course. Drinks are on me tonight.'   
'No they are not Ms Wolfe. Put that away, this is our way of welcoming you back. Tonight's on us.'  
'Ah, Raf, I can't let you do that.'  
'Serena, I insist. Now come on, let's get to Albies, and get drunk.'

Serena and Bernie grabbed their coats from the hooks, slipped their hands into each other's and followed Raf and Morven out of the ward, down to the pub.

********************************

'What are we toasting?' Serena asked as Raf brought over five glasses of wine and insisted they toast.  
'The return of Berena to AAU.'  
Morven giggled.  
'Excuse me?' Bernie had never heard them call them that before.  
'The return of the best bosses ever.' Fletch chipped in, raising his glass to Bernie and Serena.  
'I'll drink to that.' Serena echoed raising her glass.  
'As will I.' said Bernie. 

As the five of them raised their glasses, the only sound was the chinking of the metal. Bernie felt like she'd never been away. And with Christmas just around the corner, she felt the most relaxed she'd ever been. 

The next few weeks were going to be amazing. Berena were back on top!


	71. Best Day

71:

Serena closed the door behind her and took a moment to catch her breath. Today really had been the best day ever. Her and Bernie were as close as they had ever been, and they were only going to continue to grow stronger, as Christmas and New Year approached.

In the living room, Bernie laid her head back on the arm rest of the chair, with her legs underneath her. As she lay still, listening to the onset of traffic on the dark December night, she smiled. What had she been worried about this morning? Today had been the best day she had experienced in a long time.

'Bernie?' Serena called.  
Hearing her wife call her name made Bernie stretch up and smile.   
'In here.' she called.   
Making her way down the hall, Serena opened the door and her mouth broke into a smile when she saw Bernie. Walking over to her, she leaned down and gave her a kiss. Bernie hooked her arms around Serena's neck and pulled her back, nearly pulling her on top of her. 

After a minute, Serena withdrew and as her eye caught Bernies they broke into giggles.   
'What was that for?'  
'Do I need an excuse to come home and kiss my wife?'  
'No.'  
'Well good Bernie, but I missed you anyway.'  
'Serena, we were only apart for 20 minutes. And that's only because you forgot your purse at Albies and had to go back. I swear you'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.'  
'Excuse me!'  
'What, oh come on Serena. You know it's true.'

Bernie ducked as Serena took a swing at her with her bag, but she overbalanced on her shoes and ended up falling on top of Bernie. Both of them a little bit tipsy and in hysterics of laughter, they didn't hear the footsteps coming down the stairs and the sound of the door being pushed open.

'Oh so you two are finally home?'  
Hearing Jason's voice ended their playfulness and the two of them looked over to see him stood in the doorway.  
'Well observed Jason.'  
'Auntie Serena, what are you doing?'  
'What does it look like I am doing Jason? I'm straddling Bernie.'  
Bernie burst into laughter and hit Serena on the back of her head with her hand.  
'Well I can see that, but do you have to do it so noisily? I know the two of you love each other but isn't that sort of...' he searches for the right word...' activity supposed to happen in the bedroom?'

Serena and Bernie exchanged a glance as Jason pointed to the clock on top of the fire.  
'Auntie Serena, you should be going to bed anyway. You've clearly been drinking, and it's already 11:03pm. If you don't get your standard eight hours of sleep, you look even worst than usual, with more frown lines. And that's a sight no one should have to see. Now, please keep the noise down, I want to go back to sleep.' He turned on his heel and was gone just like that. 

Bernie clapped her hand to her mouth to stop herself laughing even harder. But seeing Serena's shocked face she couldn't help it, and she succumbed to her own laughter. 

After the laughter had subsided, Bernie pushed Serena off her and the two of them sat on the sofa. Serena took her coat and shoes off and snuggled up to Bernie, laying her head on her lap.   
'So, good day then?'  
'The best. You're back by my side, nothing else matters.'  
'My sentiments exactly.'  
'Bernie, you know I love you right?'  
'Yes Serena, I also believe you're drunk.'  
'I might be drunk, but I'm intoxicated by you.'  
'Oh is that a fact?'  
'You know it.'  
Bernie kissed the top of Serena's head and clasped her hands. 

Two hours later, Jason came downstairs to get a glass of water. Seeing the lights were still on in the living room; he popped his head through the door. Bernie and Serena were curled up on the sofa, holding hands. Their heads resting into each other, they were sleeping soundly, both with smiles on their faces. 

Shaking his head but smiling, Jason took the blanket off the back of the chair and wrapped it round the two of them. Backing out of the room quietly, he turned the light off and went back upstairs to go to sleep. 

And that's how the two of them stayed. Wrapped in each other and probably dreaming of each other. Fitting end for the best day Berena had seen in a long time. And it was only the start of what was too be a fantastic few months for them.

Goodnight Berena❤️


	72. Christmas Cards

72: 

Serena and Bernie barely had time to get used to being in a routine before they were inundated with festive injuries and the usual mounds of paperwork. But despite the ward being the busiest it had been in a long while, Bernie was relishing being back in the thick of it. 

Being on top of patient care both in and out of the trauma unit- it was what Bernie did best. But today was a different day, today was a day for being at home with the one she loved, it was Christmas after all.

*********************************

Serena woke up first. Wrapped between the sheets, the cold refused to leave. Teeth chattering, she snuggled closer to Bernie. 

Hearing movement behind her aroused Bernie from her slumber. Serena wasn't always the best at trying to silent.  
'Morning.'  
Serena smiled. Bernie always seemed to know what she was doing. Kissing her bare shoulder blades, Serena moved right behind Bernie. Bernie shivered at the feel of Serena's lips on her shoulders and rolled over on to her other side so she could stare adoringly at the woman she loved. 

Bernie caressed Serena's cheek with her hand.   
'Merry Christmas.'   
'Merry Christmas Bernie.'  
Moving her hand down to clasp Serena's, Bernie reached behind her head to her bedside cabinet and picked up the envelope off it. Handing it to Serena, she smiled. 

Opening the card, Bernie watched Serena read the message she'd written:  
'Serena, my beautiful lovely Serena. After the year we have had, at this time of year we should count our blessings and be thankful for what we have. I have been counting my blessings since the very first time I met you. Because for some unknown reason, you chose to let me love you, and that is the gift that keeps on giving. You make the stars shine brighter and the winter days warmer by just being here with me. For a time it was you and me against the world, but we've fought and conquered everything that fate has thrown at us. Christmas comes once a year, but every day with you, is like a thousand Christmas days rolled into one.'

'Oh Bernie... that is just pure magic. I don't think I could love you anymore than I do right now.'  
'So, you like it then?'  
'I more than like it, I love it. It puts what I've written on the back burner.'  
'What you wrote?'  
Serena squeezed Bernies hand and reached down into her handbag. Handing Bernie her card, she shook her head as Bernie opened it.

'Bernie. People say that we can't measure happiness in terms, which may be true. Or so I thought. Until I met you. There isn't enough words or time on this earth for me to measure the happiness I have had as a result of you coming into my life. After the year we have had, and all the battles we've fought to be here together, you need to know how much I love you. You will never know, because there isn't enough for me to show you. I just try to spend every day making you realise how amazing you are and how much I love you. You're the only present I ever need in my life, and this year, I intend to show you just how much I love you.'

Serena was surprised to see Bernie with tears in her eyes.   
'Are you okay?'  
'Serena, that was beautiful. You always know how to say the most wonderful things.'  
'As do you. Thank you for what you wrote, it means so much to me.'  
'Serena, I love you more than anything. You know that. Thank you for what you wrote. If I'm this emotional now, what are we going to be like when we open our presents?'  
'For once, I don't care what we're like. Today is about me and you. Jason is working all day. So today it's about a Christmas with the woman I love.'  
'Same for me. I'll always treasure this card, you know that right?'  
'I don't doubt it. I will add yours to my heart and add it to the evergrowing list of reasons why I live you.'

Bernie flushed her lips against Serena's, pulling her on top of her. Serena returned the embrace without a seconds thought and as the two of them lay there, they were oblivious to anyone and everything else. Because they loved each other, and their love was strong enough to go the distance.


	73. Xmas Presents

73:

Determined to savour every single moment of their first Christmas alone, since they'd been together; Serena and Bernie spent most of the morning huddled under the duvet together. Cuddling, kissing and laughing, they enjoyed just being together. It was the first time in months they could relax and just be a couple without the weight of the world on their shoulders, or rushing around the ward. Just be Serena and Bernie. Berena

'Serena, as much as I love lying here with you, we can't spend all day in bed.'  
'Who says we can't?'  
'Because I want to start dinner, and open our presents.'  
Serena laughed and kissed Bernie quickly on the lips.   
'Honestly Bernie, your worst than Ruby and Toby.'  
'I love Christmas, I'm I think afraid to admit it.'  
'Oh alright, come on then. Let's go downstairs. We can put the dinner on and then we can open our presents.'  
'I like the way you think Miss Campbell.'  
'I'm sure you do Ms Wolfe.'

********************************

Half an hour later, with the dinner simmering in the oven, Bernie and Serena sat down on the sofa to open their presents. Starting on their own piles, they left their gifts from each other until last. 

Serena smile as she opened the massive bottle of Shiraz from work, the chocolates from Jason and all the little smellies and bath sets from the children and grandchildren. Her family knew how to please her.

Bernie disheveled the wrapping paper off her presents in no time at all. The bottle of whisky from work, the history book from Jason. She saw that Cameron and Charlotte had been speaking with Elinor, because all the sets she had, were different to Serena. They'd obviously wanted to co-ordinate. She loved her family. 

'Well now there's just us. I really hope you like my present. It's a lot smaller than yours.' Bernie said pointing to the two presents left under the tree.  
'Bernie, in yet to get a present off you, I don't like. And it's not the size of the gift that matters, it's the thought.'  
'Well I hope you like it anyway.'  
'I'm sure I will.'

They bent down and picked up their respective gifts. Serena watched as Bernie undid the wrapping paper and pulled out her present. She immediately began to cry.  
'Serena, it's beautiful.'  
'You like it?'  
'I absolutely love it.'

Bernie was holding a FAMILY photo. In the middle was a photo of the two of them, taken on Valentines Day just gone. In the F was a picture of Elinor with Ruby and Jade. In the A was a picture of Cameron, his partner and Toby. In the M was a picture of Charlotte and Ariana. The I held a picture of Jason, grinning inanely at the camera. The L held a picture of Fletch, Raf and the fletchlings and the Y held a picture of Serena, Bernie and Morven. 

'This is so stunning. Our family.'  
'I thought you might think it was silly. We have lots of photos'  
'But you can never have enough photos. Serena, I absolutely love it.'  
'I really hoped you would.'  
'Will you open mine? It's nothing compared to yours though.'   
'Bernie, stop worrying. I'll love it, whatever it is, because it came from you.'

Serena pulled the paper off her present to reveal a brown box. Opening it, she stares dumbfounded at what was inside.  
Bernie had got her a necklace that you split into to. Around the outside, it was encrusted with diamonds, and engraved on it, was their initials and the date of their first meeting  
'What do you think?'  
'Bernie...'  
'I know it's nothing special compared to yours, but...'

Bernie never got to finish her sentence because Serena kissed her so passionately it knocked her back into the Christmas tree. A bauble fell on her head, and she moaned, braking the embrace.  
'It's absolutely beautiful.'  
'You like it then?'  
'More than that, I absolutely love it.'

Taking the necklace out of the box, Serena fastened one half around Bernies neck and he other around her own. The present from Bernie was perfect. They were two halves of each other and when they came together, it made something beautiful. 

This Christmas was going to be the best they'd ever had. Merry Christmas Berena


	74. New Year Surprise

74: 

Bernie and Serena had enjoyed their private Christmas. And it was a good job they had taken the time out because the week in between Christmas and New Year was absolute pandemonium on the ward. They barely had time to blink for as soon as one bed became free, there were six new patients needing to occupy it.

They did what they had always done, worked as one. Working as one but independently, was the way they worked together, especially at times like this. They had hit their stride and were clearing patients in an efficient manner but they were always swamped off their feet. But you know what? They absolutely relished it. 

*********************************

Today was a different story however. It was New Years Day and they were both off work again. Elinor, Cameron and Charlotte were coming round for dinner later. But without the kids. They were staying with partners and other family. They wanted a proper family meal, because it had been ages since they'd done so.

Serena and Bernie had spent the morning cleaning up the house. Feather dusters and hoovers had been out but to be honest, they'd spent more time tickling each other with the dusters than actually tidying up with them. 

It was New Years Day and they were on a high. They wanted to start this year as they planned to go on. It was out with the heartbreak and in with the love. Serena had a plan for later, a surprise for Bernie; and she really hoped it would solidify the start of the new year. A new chapter if you like.

Jason had spent the morning asleep, after working on the night shift last night. He had come home at 6 o clock, struggling to keep his eyes open. He's barely managed to hug Serena and Bernie, say happy new year before he'd fallen asleep on his bed.

********************************

'Happy New Year Mum!' Elinor was the first to arrive, throwing her arms around her Mum before embracing Bernie.   
'Happy New Year Ellie.'  
'To say I'm glad to see the back of year is an understatement.'  
'I know what you mean Ellie, I almost lost your mum.'  
'We almost lost both of you Bernie, but let's not make today morbid. We're here for dinner, for a good time and for our family.'  
Serena hugged her daughter as her words went straight to her heart.

Cameron and Charlotte arrived shortly afterwards. Jason came downstairs running his eyes; but his smile was clear as day.  
'Happy New Year Jason. Have you finally recovered from last night?'  
'Auntie Serena, I hope this year you are going to try to be a little bit smarter. Did you make the same usual resolutions that you break in days? It was a new record last year, 3 days.'

Charlotte burst into uproarious laughter. She never failed to be amused by Jason's treatment of his auntie. Bernie made a noise in the back of her throat, but after a look from Serena, she threw her hands up in the air  
'I'm sorry, don't kill me.'  
'You best be sorry Mrs, otherwise you'll pay for it later.'  
'Auntie Serena, I hope I'm not going to see a repeat of what happened a fortnight ago? After a few drinks, as you so eloquently elaborated, I found you, straddling Bernie.'

At that remark from Jason, Elinor and Charlotte burst into laughter and Serena put her hands to her face in embarrassment.  
'Do you think we can maybe get through one family get together without you taking me to pieces Jason?'  
'That depends Auntie Serena, do you think you could stop doing stupid and daft things to make me tear you to pieces?'  
Knowing it was a battle she would never win, Serena waved her white flag and lead everyone through to the dining room.

********************************

Serena stood in the kitchen staring down at the dishes. The meal had gone off without a hitch. But now came her surprise, and she was steeling herself to do it. Everyone was in the living room, watching the television. Serena hadn't told anyone what she was about to do. 

Gulping down the last of her Shiraz straight from the glass, she steeled herself for what was about to come.  
'Courage Serena.'

*********************************

Bernie was curled up on the chair, listening to the rest of the family talk of their children. Smiling to herself, she wondered where Serena was and what she was doing. 

'When I think back on these times, and the dreams we left behind...'

Serena emerged from behind the door, singing. Deafening silence fell as she walked over to Bernie. They were the only two people in the world, and as Serena serenaded Bernie with their wedding song, she began to get swept up in the emotional moments of the song. 

Bernie sat watching her wife with tears in her eyes. She had forgotten that everyone else was in the room. It was just her and Serena and that was all that mattered. 

'And everywhere I am, there you'll be. There you'll be.'  
Serena finished the song and the silence was deafening, before they burst into fits of clapping. Bernie was having an emotional breakdown, and that was set to get worse when Serena pulled out a box from her back pocket and dropped to her knees.

'Bernie, everywhere I am, and ever want to be. I just want you beside me. You're everything to me, and after the horrible prospect of losing you last year has awakened me to that fact. I can't imagine a single second of my life without you. Remember what I asked you when you were back in the hospital? I asked you to marry me again. Let's renew our vows and make them even stronger. What do you say; marry me again?'


	75. Answer

75: 

Bernie sat there, staring dumbfounded at Serena. She couldn't quite believe that the woman she loved was down on one knee, proposing to her again. It was a lot to take in, she was shocked. But in a good way. Shellshocked that Serena had done all that for her. And she hadn't seen it coming. 

Serena sat on her knees, looking at Bernie, waiting for her to say something. But she was sat in the chair, looking straight through her. She'd obviously made some grave error. Why did she always throw a spanner into the works when there wasn't anything wrong? Why did she always want more, and ruin what good she had? Dropping the box on the floor, she ran out the room and upstairs. 

'Mum?' Elinor jumped out of the chair. 'I'd better go after her.'  
'No Ellie, let me go.' Bernie rose out her chair immediately.  
'Haven't you done enough? Why didn't you say yes?'  
'Ellie, I was shocked. I can't believe she did that for me. That's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.'  
'Auntie Bernie, don't you think you should be telling Auntie Serena this and not us? She's going to be crying, and then she's going to ruin her make up.'  
'She will always look lovely to me Jason, she knows that.'  
'Well, Mum, don't just stand here, go and tell her that.' Charlotte opened the door and pushed her mum through it. 

********************************

Bounding up the stairs, Bernie was rooted to the spot when she heard the uncontrollable sobs coming from the bedroom. Oh god, she'd never meant to make Serena feel like that. Why was she such an idiot? 

'Serena?' Bernie pushed the door open and stood in the doorway. Serena was lying with her face buried in her pillow, sobbing her heart out. She either hadn't heard Bernie or was ignoring her, so Bernie went and knelt down by the side of the bed, whispering in Serena's ear  
'I'm sorry.'

Serena sat upright, peering at Bernie through a mass of tears.   
'Sorry? That's all you can say?'  
'Serena, I was just shocked you had done that. I wasn't expecting it. It was a lot to take in. You ran off before I cool answer you. You remember what happened when I proposed to you, you were shocked as well. I promise, I was just taking it in.'  
'So...so... you weren't rejecting me?'  
'Of course I wasn't. Why on earth would I after you just serenaded me in front of our family?'  
'Wait...is that a yes?'

Bernie flushed her lips against Serena's, wrapping her arms around her abdomen. After a minute she pulled back, breathing shallowly.   
'Of course it's a flaming yes.'  
Serena hooked her arms around Bernies neck and hugged her as close as she could, before planting kisses across her shoulder blades. The nearer she got to Bernies neck, the more rapidly Bernie began to breathe. 

*********************************

The moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.  
'Mum, are you okay?'   
Serena moved back and offered her hand to Bernie, who took it without hesitation. Together they went to the door and opened it.   
'I'm okay. I over reacted a little bit. I just thought I'd put my foot in it.'  
'You didn't. I behaved like an idiot.'  
'No you didn't. Okay, we both behaved like idiots, but that's why we love each other.'

Elinor shook her head at Bernie an her mothers impertinence.  
'I take it you said yes then.'  
'Of course I did, what other answer would I give? I love your mother more than my own life, and the two of us can bind our love even more, with a renewal ceremony.'  
'I want something simple mind. I don't want our actual wedding to be overshadowed. Maybe just a blessing with our family? What do you think?'  
'Whatever you want.'  
'It's whatever we want. We're a package deal.'  
'I'm happy for whatever you do Mum, but if Ruby isn't a bridesmaid, you'll be dealing with the consequences.'

Serena started to laugh as Bernie squeezed her hands so tightly, it was as if she never wanted to let go. 

Serena had asked and Bernie had answered. Given the answer everyone knew she would. The two of them had a renewal ceremony to plan. 

But the best is yet to come. Or is it?


	76. Morning Love

76:

Bernie opened her eyes, blinking in the contrast of the dimly lit room. The raw January morning meant the sky was dark and cold. A pool of light from Serena's beside lamp was the only source of light in the room. But that didn't matter, the atmosphere couldn't have been more different. 

Rolling over onto her side, she smiled at the brunette asleep next to her. The light of her life, her reason for getting up in the morning. Everything she needed was right beside her. Running her hand down Serena's cheek, Bernie bent down and kissed her on the forehead, whispering sweet nothings in here ear.

Two hours later, Bernie was still watching Serena when the first signs of dawn began to show. The weak January sunshine began to rise in the distance and the birds began to sing. Sitting up, Bernie began to watch the world waking up. It was a sight she knew she would never forget, adding it to the list of endless sights photographed against her heart. This was one of the few that didn't involve Serena.

'It's beautiful isn't it?'   
Serena's voice behind Bernie interrupted her thoughts. Turning around, she saw Serena sitting up in bed.   
'Yes it is. I love watching the world wake up.'  
'I wasn't talking about the sunrise.'

Bernie caught Serena's eyes and her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. Shaking her head, she turned back to watch the world outside.   
'It is beautiful thought isn't it?'  
'Yes, I've got quite the view.'  
'Serena, I meant outside.'  
'I know what you meant. But I can still sit here and admire you can't I?'  
'Oh, you don't hear me complaining.'

Serena moved to behind Bernie, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. Together they watched the sun rise. The beautiful and simplicity of the moment made it wonderful to share with each other. 

'Breathtaking.'  
Kissing Bernies neck, Serena noticed as Bernies breathing became rapidly shallow.  
'You take my breath away, every time you do that.'  
'Well I never plan on stopping Bernie, I love you too much.'  
'And I love you as well. You know that. No-one loves you as much as I love you.'  
'One exception Bernie.'  
'I thought you'd say that.'

Intertwining their fingers, Bernie relaxed against Serena.  
'So, do we tell people today?'  
'Tell people'  
'About our wedding vows.'  
'Whatever you want sweetheart. As long as you're happy, I know I am.'  
'It's what we want.'  
'I know that, do you want to tell people?'  
'Well, if people don't know already, they will soon. I suspect Jason and Cameron have told half the hospital already.'  
'You're not wrong there.'

Serena kissed Bernies neck and the two of them sat there watching the sunrise, wrapped in their own little world.


	77. 10 Hours

77: 

Serena drew up outside the hospital, switching off the ignition. Turning to face Bernie, she was glad to see her smile mirrored back at her. Grinning inanely like a pair of naughty school girls, they grabbed each other's hand, squeezing them before breaking apart

'I don't know how I'm going to keep this to myself all day.'  
'Serena, we agreed. We'll make an announcement at the end of shift, in Albies. I don't think the ward is the right place for it.'  
'I know, im just excited.'  
'I know. I am too. But just 10 hours. Then we can shout it from the rooftops.'  
'10 hours. I'll hold you to that.'  
'Wouldn't expect anything less of you.'

Serena smiled and closed the gap between her and Bernie. As soon as their lips met, the rest of the world melted away. They forgot where they were. In that moment; the only thing that mattered to them, was to be as close to the other one as they could manage.

'Hey Berena!'  
A voice over Bernies shoulder interrupted their moment. Breaking apart and gasping for breath, they were startled to see Dom grinning outside Bernies window. 

Glancing at each other rather sheepishly, Bernie steeled herself for what was to come and wound down her window.  
'Yes Dr Copeland?'  
'I was going to tell you both to get a room. And ask you what you put in your coffee this morning, cause I want some.'  
Serena smiled and grabbed Bernies hand.  
'Just a dose of love and happiness Dr Copeland, that's all.'  
'Come on Serena, it's more than that. Tell your Uncle Dom what's going on, I won't tell a soul I swear.'

Bernie quelled Dom with a look and he grinned in reply.  
'Do we?'  
'Well now you have to Serena. Come on, I want all the details. You're not getting out this car until you tell me what's going on.'

Serena looked at Bernie; who nodded.  
'I'm warning you Dom. If this gets out before we tell people, I'll hunt you down myself. Don't think I won't.'  
'Alright, alright.'  
'Bernie! Dom wouldn't tell anyone. We can trust him.'  
'I know, but I'm just giving him a friendly reminder.'  
'God Bernie, if that was friendly, I'd hate to see you when you were mad.'

Bernie quelled Serena with one of those looks that melted her insides, and then turned to Dom.  
'We're getting married, again.'  
'What she means is, we're renewing our vows. After everything that's happened, I waned to start this year off with some good news.'  
'Ah, Serena, Bernie. That's brilliant news. I'm very happy for you. Let me be the first to say congratulations.'  
'Thank you Dom. Now remember what I said. Under your hat for 10 hours, then you can tell who you like. Okay?'  
'Okay.'

Dom waved as he went into the hospital. Watching him go, Bernie kicked up hers and Serena's bags and got out of the car. She was round the other side of the car like a lightning bolt.

Offering her hand to Serena, who took it instantly, she squeezed it.  
'10 hours?'  
'10 hours.'


	78. Clocking Off

78: 

As it happened, those 10 hours passed by reasonably quickly. Serena had wanted them to whizz by and they did. She and Bernie spent the last 4 hours of their shift involved in a complex operation that pushed them both. But through stellar teamwork and communication, they saved the patient. That was what they were supposed to do after all. 

Taking off her gloves, Serena threw them in the bin and removed her leopard face mask. That was 4 hours she'd never get back, but with Bernie by her side they'd saved the young man from a very serious injury. 

'Touch and go back there weren't it?'  
Hearing Bernies voice behind her, she turned around. Bernie had just emerged from the theatre behind her and was standing with a smug grin on her face.  
'Yeah it was... Bernie are you checking me out?'  
'So what if i was? It's not a crime to stare at my wife is it?'  
'When she's wearing these awful scrubs yes!'  
'I think you look ravishing in them. You look sexy.'  
'Bernie! What has gotten in to you?'  
'Just my love for you, you know what I'm like.'

Serena returned Bernies smile and the two of them left the theatre after cleaning themselves up. Walking up the corridor, Serena's breaths became laboured as Bernies hand got lower and lower down her back. She felt Bernie pressed against her and she caught her eye. Electricity passed between the two of them and Serena could stand it no longer. 

Pulling Bernie into the stockroom, she closed the door and pushed Bernie up against it. Serena kissed Bernie gently, but it wasn't gentleness Bernie wanted. She knotted her fiats into the small of Serena's back, pulling her close to her. Groaning softly, Serena's arms moved tightly around Bernies back, pulling at her scrubs top.

After a minute of passionate embracing, Bernie moaned as Serena started to kiss down her neck.  
'I know you hate those scrubs darling, but I must say seeing you in them really turns me on.'  
'Oh it does; does it?'  
Serena brought her lips up again to meet Bernies and the two of them moved back further into the storeroom. 

Bernie pushed Serena roughly up against the shelves. She knocked not only the boxes off the shelf to the floor with a crash but the breath out of Serena.  
'Are you alright?'  
'Yes, I'm fine. You take my breath away, literally.'  
Bernie returned Serena's smile and was about to initiate the embrace again when there was a knocking on the door.

'Is there someone in there?'  
Recognising the voice, Bernie and Serena looked at each other and broke apart. Pulling their clothes straight, they raced to the door. Serena opened the door and Bernie hid behind it.  
'Ah...Miss Campbell. I heard a crash, is everything okay?'  
'Don't worry Mr Hanssen, me being the clumsy oaf that I am knocked over some boxes whilst looking for some... bandages.'

Hanssens eyes studied Serena for a minute.  
'Ah well, I trust that you are not injured? You look very flummoxed.'  
'Oh, that's just because it's been a long day. I'm about to knock off anyway.'  
'I see. Perhaps when you and Ms Wolfe are finished, you can return the stockroom to its original condition?'

With Serena understandably surprised, Hanssen turned away and walked down the corridor. Serena shut the door and collapsed into a fit of giggles on the floor, with Bernie next to her.  
'Oops!'  
'Serena!! He's our boss!'  
'I didn't tell him.'  
'Looking for bandages? Was that really the best you could come up with?'  
'What was wrong with it?'  
'Firstly, this isn't where we keep bandages. That's in the corridor upstairs, and second, we have plenty on the ward. Hanssen knows that! He mentioned the delivery earlier? Engage your brain Serena.'  
'Difficult when I have you on my brain Bernie..'

Bernie stood up and extended her hands for Serena. Serena stood up and took Bernies outstretched hands.   
'So...?'  
'So, now its clocking off time. That mean we can tell everyone?'  
'Has 10 hours passed?'  
'I believe so.'  
'Then yes, we can.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie, hugging her close.  
'I love you.'  
'And I love you.'

Unbeknownst to Serena and Bernie, across the hospital, Dom was putting in place his final plans for the two of them tonight. The two of them were in for a special night; they just didn't know it yet.


	79. Phase 1

79:

Bernie and Serena emerged from the stockroom like rabbits caught in the headlights. They'd been upto no good and been caught by the worst possible person. But the two of them had enjoyed the thrill of the chase. They were riding high after yesterday- normally they were restrained and well behaved at work, but today. Well today had been an abnormal day. 

The two of them walked back to AAU. As soon as they entered the ward, Raf initiated phase 1 of the plan. Walking up to the office, he knocked on the door.  
'Where have you ladies been?'  
'Sorry Raf, we got a bit sidetracked on the way back from theatre.'

Serena giggled and Raf suddenly knew they'd been doing something that they shouldn't have.  
'Sidetracked, is that what your calling it now?'  
'Raf, please, was there something you wanted?'  
'I wanted to ask you ladies if you fancied a drink that was all.'  
'Actually Raf that is a very good idea. There's something that we want to share with everyone.'  
'Ooh, ok, I'm intrigued now.'  
'Let's gather the rest of the gang and we'll fill you in down at Albies'

********************************

Bernie and Serena went into Albies, excited about telling everyone about their renewal, but when they got in there, they found everyone else was nowhere to be seen.   
'Where is everyone?' Bernie asked, looking around, almost as if she expected them to jump out.  
'I don't know. You did text them right?'  
'Yeah I did.'  
'Anyway, what did you want to tell me?'

Serena looked over at Bernie.  
'Well we may as well tell you. Yesterday I asked Bernie a question, and she said yes.'  
'We're getting married, again.'  
'Again? What's bought this on?'  
'Just everything that's happened last year, we thought it was best to start this one off as mean to go on.'  
'Well, let me say, congratulations, is that everything. I'm genuinely thrilled for you.'

Bernie and Serena exchanged glances.  
'What's up?'  
'We wanted to tell everyone together, but no one can be bothered to come down to have a drink with us.'  
'Bernie, I don't think it's that. I just think, some of them are busy.'

Serena was about to reply when her phone went. It was Jason.  
'Auntie Serena. I need you and Bernie to come home straight away. Please, hurry.'  
'Serena?' Bernie had seen the colour drain from Serena's face and worryingly she read the message.  
'Right, lets go..'  
'What's up?'  
'It's Jason. We have to go, now.'  
'Let me come with you. If something has happened, you might need some help.'

Raf raced out of the pub after Bernie and Serena. Little did they know that nothing had happened at home. It was just part of Doms plan. 

*********************************

Serena drew up outside the house, with Raf pulling in behind her. The lights were off which was unusual. Serena was worried. She went running up the path, fumbling to find her key.   
'Serena, it's okay...' Bernie put her hand on Serenas arm, just to reassure her.  
'I've got a bad feeling.'   
'Serena, I'm sure he's fine.'

Finally finding her key, Serena went running into the house to find it in total darkness. But then she noticed the back door was open. Her and Bernie went through the kitchen and stood in the doorway of the back door, staring out.

Someone had been busy. The garden had been laid for a winter picnic. The outdoor heater was on, with blankets around and scatter cushions on the floor. Candles were lit in the corner of the blanket.

Hearing coughing behind her, Serena turned around. Raf was standing there holding a basket.  
'What on earth is this?'  
'All will be revealed soon, for now. Go and enjoy your picnic.'  
He placed the basket on the kitchen counter and then left the house, hastily tapping out a text message on his phone. 

'Phase 1 complete.'


	80. Phase 2

80: 

Bernie and Serena lay back on the pillows. They'd devoured their picnic, particularly the chocolate covered strawberries, which they'd enjoyed popping into each other's mouths. 

Entwining their fingers, they lapsed into a comfortably silence for a while. Then Serena began to shiver.   
Moving nearer to her, Bernie wrapped the blanket over both of them.  
'Thanks.'  
'It's okay.'  
'What do you think they've got planned next?'  
'They?'  
'Bernie, I don't think Raf thought of this on his own. Whatever is going on, it's got Dom's name all over it.'  
'So you think he's told everyone about the wedding?'  
'I don't know.'  
'Well I must say, I'm in heaven right now. The woman I love, a sky full f stars, what more could I ask for?'

Serena squeezed Bernies hand in response and was about to say more when her phone went off. Pulling it out, she read the text message from Jason.   
'I'm sorry about the message earlier Auntie Serena. I just want you to know that I'm fine. The next stage of your surprise is ready. Please go to the car. The satellite navigation system has been programmed for the destination.'

She showed the message to Bernie who shook her head.  
'What on earth are they up to?'  
'I've got no idea, but you can bet Jason has them working to a schedule so we better not make him angry.'  
'He's probably timing out every minute.'  
'I'd expect nothing but military precision from him.'  
'I love it when you talk military.'

Serena looked at Bernie and the two of them burst into giggles. Serena pointed at her watch and the two of them heaved themselves up off the ground and made their way out to the car.

*********************************

To say they were surprised when they pulled up outside the park, was an understatement.  
'The park? What on earth is going on?'  
'Is this the right place?'

The answer to that question was answered when they saw Fletch standing at the gates. Getting out of the car slightly apprehensive, they made their way over to him.  
'Evening ladies.'  
'Fletch, what is going on?'  
'All will be revealed soon. This is the next part of your evening.'  
'What is this exactly?'  
'The outdoor cinema'

Seeing Bernie and Serena's eyes light up, Fletch knew they were onto a winner.  
'Outdoor cinema? Tonight?'  
'Yep. And the two of you have a reserved seat. Follow me.'

Fletch lead them further into the park. Under the huge oak tree, was another blanket. The only thing on this blanket was an ice bucket that held one bottle. Serena and Bernie didn't even need to look at it to know what it was.

'This is where I leave you. Enjoy the film. And I will see you later.'  
'Will you?'  
'Oh yes Serena, you will.'

Walking off with a wave, Bernie and Serena shrugged and then started to make themselves comfortable. They had no idea what was going on, but they were enjoying themselves.

90 minutes later, Bernie and Serena were curled up on the blanket. They were both lying down, watching the film. Serena had her head on Bernies chest, and Bernie had her arms around Serena, hugging her as close as she could. They were in their own little bubble. Whoever had chosen this film had done well. 

Fletch stood in the shade of the fountain and smiled. Pulling out his phone, he sent the text message.

'Phase 2 complete'


	81. Phase 3

81:

The credits for the end of the film began to roll. Serena and Bernie had been in their own slice of heaven under the oak tree. Whoever had planned tonight had done it with a fine tooth comb; determined to make sure they enjoyed themselves.

Rolling herself off Bernies chest, Serena sat up; fiddling with the neck of her shirt, when the hand captured hers in mid air. Serena glanced over at Bernie and leant over to kiss her. 

'That was something wasn't it?' Bernie said as she broke the embrace.  
'Magic. That's what it was. And something tells me we aren't finished yet.'  
'You think?'  
'Whatever they have got planned, I don't think their done with us yet.'

Bernie squeezed Serena's hand in response.   
'Well whatever they have got planned, it's going to be hard to top this.'  
'I know, this is a great way to start the new year.'  
'This year is going to be amazing for us Serena. We're out the other side of the tunnel.'

Serena leant over and kissed Bernie deeply. Bernie responded but the moment was interrupted by her mobile buzzing.  
'They know how to pick their moments don't they?'  
'It's probably Jason, with his military precision.'  
'You're talking army to me again Serena. You know what that does to me.'  
'Shut up and read your message.'

Serena pushed Bernie, but Bernie overbalanced and fell backwards. Pulling her wife back with her, Serena landed on top of Bernie. Doubled up with laughter, the two of them were the most relaxed they'd been in months. It was a minute before either of them remembered Bernies phone. 

Pushing herself off Bernie, Serena threw her phone at her. Reading the message from Jason:  
'Auntie Bernie. The next stage of your evening is ready. Please proceed to the car. Once again, the satellite navigation system has been programmed for the destination. See you shortly.'

Showing Serena the message she was even more bewildered.  
'What is going on? And how have they got into the car?'  
'Really Bernie; that's what your wondering. I'm just perplexed as to how they know when we're finished.'  
'They must be watching us.'  
'Watching us?'  
'Think about it Serena. It's the only explanation. Fletch is probably out in the park somewhere.'

'Actually I'm right here.'  
Fletch emerged from the other side of the tree. Visibly surprised, Serena and Bernie stood up.  
'Fletch, how long have you been there?'  
'Long enough, trust me.'  
Serena and Bernie exchanged glances.  
'So where to?'  
'Did you not read Jason's message? Back to the car. I'm under strict instructions from him. So come on ladies, let's get going.'

*********************************

To say they were even more perplexed when they pulled up outside the italian restaurant was a little bit of an understatement.  
'What the hell are we doing here?'  
'I've given up trying to guess. And look.'

Bernie followed Serena's gaze. Elinor and Charlotte were stood outside the restaurant. Seeing their mums, they waved and ran over. Opening the door, Serena wrapped her daughter in a hug, as did Bernie.  
'What are you two doing here?'  
'Ah, I can't tell you. We're not staying here very long. There's a surprise waiting for you inside.'  
'Ellie, what is going on?'  
'Mum, honestly, you're going to love it. Just go inside.'

Bernie offered her hand to Serena and the two of them walked into the restaurant. This was the place they'd been to before they became a couple. And the place they'd been when Serena and Bernie had been reunited with their daughters. It was a place that meant a lot to them. 

Closing the door behind them, Serena raised her hand in greeting as the manager Tom, came over to greet them.  
'Hello ladies, happy new year.'  
'Happy New Year yourself. I've been told there's something here for us?'  
'Yes, there is.'

Tom went into the kitchen and emerged a few minutes later carrying a box.  
'I'm under strict instructions from a young Mr Haynes, that you two are not to open it. Not until you are told to.'  
'Why doesn't that surprise me?'  
'Your nephew certainly knows what he wants Serena.'  
'That's both a blessing and a curse Tom.'  
'Right, well I have to get back to serving. Enjoy your evening guys.'

Tom walked off, leaving Bernie and Serena even more confused. Picking up the box, Bernie and Serena left the restaurant. Elinor and Charlotte were still outside.   
'Ah, so you got it?'  
'Girls, what is going on?'  
'Mum, I promise; all is about to be revealed. Get in the car and follow us.'  
'Charlotte...'  
'Mum. Please, just trust me...'

Serena and Bernie placed the box on the back seat and got into the car. They followed Elinors car, to the unknown destination.

Charlotte typed out the message:  
'Phase 3 complete.'


	82. Phase 4

82: 

Serena and Bernie clocked on to where they were going before they got there.   
'We're going back to the hospital.'  
'Why doesn't that surprise me? Everything leads us back here doesn't it?'  
'Well it's where we spend most of our time Serena. I guess we should have figured it out earlier.'  
'I'm a little disappointed after everything that we've done tonight.'  
'Let's just wait and see what they've got planned. They haven't hit a bum note all evening.'

Serena and Bernie were right. They followed Elinor and Charlotte to the car park of the hospital. As they undid their seat belts, Elinor and Charlotte opened their car doors.  
'This is the end of the road.'  
'And we are here because...?'  
'Mum, Serena. We've all been running around all day, following orders. I'm sure by now you've both worked out what tonight's about.'  
'I think so. That's the last time we tell Dom anything.'  
Elinor began to laugh.  
'Actually Mum, I think you'll be surprised by what's in store.'   
'So, where are we going?'

'Auntie Serena!!'  
Hearing Jason's voice, Serena got out of the car and began looking around for him.   
'Jason?'  
'Auntie Serena!! Up here.'  
Following the sound of his voice, Serena looked upwards. She could make out someone waving madly high above her.   
'Is he on the roof?'  
'Yes. That's where the two of you are headed. We'll be up shortly. Have you still got that box from the restaurant?'   
Bernie emerged from the car with the box in her hands. She handed it to her daughter and took Serena hand.  
'We're going up there?'  
'Yes, he's waiting for you. So I suggest you get up there before he starts timing you.'   
Serena and Bernie exchanged a look and headed into the hospital.

*********************************

Opening the door to the roof, Serena and Bernie looked around for Jason. Someone had clearly been busy up here today. There were fairy lights draped all over the roof, and there were flower petals all over the floor. Candles in glass jars were jotted at random intervals around the roof, throwing light into the dark January evening. Hand in hand, they followed the scattered rose petals.

'Surprise!'  
As they rounded the corner, they both jumped out of their skin. There was quite a sight waiting for them. Blankets were strewn on the floor in a circle shape, around a barbecue. The two of them had been focussing on the barbecue and were visibly shocked when Raf, Fletch, Jasmine, Morven, Ric, Dom, Jason and Hanssen surprised them.

'Have you all known about this?'  
All the eyes swivelled to Dom. Sensing he was about to get into trouble, he moved behind Jason.  
'Auntie Serena, some of us knew already, because we were there when you asked Bernie to marry you again. Perhaps you should engage your brain, before you ask stupid questions.'

The crowd burst into laughter at Jason's reply to Serena's question. Morven rushed forwards and hugged both Serena and Bernie  
'I'm so happy for both of you. This is what you need after everything you've been through.'  
'Thank you Morven. I wanted us to get the new year off to the right start. And last year is a year I want to forget about. To say I was shocked when she asked me to marry her again was an understatement, but she has my heart now and forever, so how could it be anything other than a yes?'  
'Excuse me, who's she?'  
'The cats mother.'

Serena quelled Bernie with a look, as Dom took his opportunity to run forward. Raising his hands by way of an apology.  
'I'm sorry. Don't shoot me. I just thought, after everything that has happened to the two of you in the last six months, and you've done it all alone. I just thought, this was something worth celebrating. I should have told you. But I wanted it to be a surprise. Don't hate me.'

Bernie let go of Serena's hands and put a hand on Doms shoulder.  
'There was a time earlier I thought I could kill you, but after what you've planned for us tonight, I think, just this once, I'll let you off.'  
'That's a relief, especially from you Bernie.'  
Everyone started to laugh. Serena moved forward to the barbecue.  
'Is this for us?'  
'Auntie Serena, engage your brain. This entire evening is for you and Bernie'

*********************************

An hour later, the atmosphere on the roof was so warm and lovely. Hansen had taken charge of the barbecue, and the medics were all enjoying a rare night off, celebrating the engagement of Serena and Bernie. Drinks were flowing and they were all happily chatting away. 

Serena and Bernie were curled up on one of the blankets. They'd both enjoyed tonight so much. Everyone had contributed something. Elinor and Charlotte had made an appearance earlier with the box from the restaurant. It was a cake to celebrate their engagement. Bernie and Serena had cut the cake and fed each other slices, so their blanket was a little sticky and crumby but they didn't care. 

Whispering sweet nothings to each other, they lay watching the stars when suddenly Bernie stood up out of the blue. Coughing loudly to attract everyone's attention, she waited. Serena was equally shocked as Bernie stood up. 

'I would just like to thank everyone for coming tonight. It means a lot to both Serena and I. When we started the day, I had no idea it was going to end like this. And don't think she did either. All of you are our family. You've been here for all of us through everything we've ever been through. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, because both of us probably wouldn't be together or even here today without all of your help.'

''And to this amazing woman sat beside me. When you dropped down to your knee yesterday and asked me to marry you, I have never loved you more. Until today. Right this minute. I love you so much. And I cannot wait for our next chapter, our next year to begin. I love you so much. There's never been anyone that loves you as much as I love you...'

'One exception as well you know.' Serena stood up and pushed her lips against Bernies, closing the gap between them. The two of them stood there kissing, oblivious to the fact they had an audience. 

Suddenly the sky burst into showers of colour. Doms final surprise had been a firework display, but there were fireworks going on between Serena and Bernie. 

Trapped in their own bubble, the rest of the crowd burst into applause. Jason, Raf, Fletch and Dom stood watching them.   
'Safe to say phase 4 is complete.'


	83. Snow

83:

Bernie opened her eyes, blinking in the darkness of the room. Her head was spinning slightly after the amount of alcohol she'd consumed at the 'party' last night. If she was feeling rough, how must Serena feel when she woke up? The last time she'd seen Serena last night, was before she'd got in a taxi with Jason. Ric, Dom and Serena been having a spitting competition off the roof. 

Not one of her wife's finer moments, but she most definitely deserved to let her hair down. Bernie had just hoped that no passing patients had gone into the hospital with a wet head full of spit.

She picked up her phone off the bedside table and saw she'd had a message from Elinor.  
'Morning Bernie. I was going to message Mum but after hearing from Morven how much she drank last night, I thought it was best not to wake her. Anyway, Rubys desperate to come and see you. Especially this morning.'

Bernie smiled and sent back a reply telling her to bring her over about lunchtime. Thinking about it, it was a good job she was on the late shift today. And an even better job that Serena was off, because judging by he fact she'd fallen asleep in her shoes, Bernie doubted she was in the mood to perform surgery today. 

She got out of bed to open the curtains when Jason knocked on the bedroom door  
'Auntie Serena, Auntie Bernie. Have you seen outside?'  
Bernie went over and opened the door.  
'Morning Jason. Serena is still asleep.'  
'How much did she have to drink last night? She was being very silly when we left?'  
'I know Jason, but she deserved to have some fun, don't you think?'  
'Oh yes, it's just you know how Auntie Serena gets when she has too much Shiraz.'  
'Yes, I do.'  
'Have you seen outside this morning?'  
'No, why?'

Jason shook his head impatiently and went over to the window, drawing back the curtains. Bernie followed him and then followed his gaze. 

Overnight, the heavens had well and truly opened. Everywhere was covered in a thick, white blanket.  
'Snow Auntie Bernie!'  
'Wow, Jason its fantastic. I haven't seen this much snow since I was a little girl. About Ruby's age.'  
'That must have been half a century ago. A very long time.'

Bernie doubled up in laughter; but the moment was interrupted by a loud groaning coming from Serena's side of the bed.  
'Can you two please put a sock in it? I've got a banging headache.'  
'No Auntie Serena, I won't as you put it, put a sock in it. You were silly enough to drink yourself stupid last night, you have to deal with the consequences.'

Bernies laughter became even harder and louder. Jason could behave like an old woman at times.  
'Well I'm sorry Jason, but I was having fun.'  
'Auntie Serena, yourself, Mr Griffin and Doctor Copeland were having a spitting competition off the end of the roof? Is that your definition of fun, because it isn't mine.'  
'Spitting competition? Did I?'  
'Don't you remember Serena?'  
'No.'  
'Jason, would you give us a few minutes? How about you go and find what you want for breakfast, I'll be down in a few minutes?'  
'Are you going into your doctor mode to look after Auntie Serena?'  
'In a manner of speaking yes.'

Jason nodded and left them to it. As soon as hed gone, Serena dragged herself up from her pillows and swung her legs over the side of the bed.  
'Serena Campbell, you never fail to amaze me.'  
'Well I aim to please, but one question.'  
'Yes?'  
'Any reason why I'm still wearing my shoes?'  
'I have no idea, honestly. I've just woke up myself to find you snoring with your shoes on.'  
'I don't snore!'  
'Oh yeah, just like it hasn't been snowing all night.'  
'Snowing?'  
'Yes, come and see.'

Serena heaved herself up off the bed, moaning as she did so. But the pure breathtaking and stunning beauty of the outside world stilled her moaning.   
'It's beautiful isn't it?'  
'Yes it is. And the snow.'

Serena blushed as Bernie snaked her arms around her waist, kissing her neck and pulling her close.  
'I look a sight this morning.'  
'You always look beautiful to me, even when you are hungover'  
'What's come over you this morning?'  
'Do I need a reason to tell my wife how beautiful she is.'  
Serena turned around and kissed Bernie deeply.  
'No, you don't.'  
'Well that's good. Oh Ellie is coming over with Ruby later.'

*********************************

Serena's hangover was soon cured by an energetic 3 year old known as Ruby. She'd thrown herself at Serena and Bernie, the moment she'd opened the door. Her and Bernie loved having her over at any tkme, she was the apple of both of their eyes. 

Bernie, Serena, Jason, Elinor and Ruby all enjoyed the rare family time. It had been so long since they'd done this. Just been able to just be. Be themselves, with no pressure of anything looming over them. 

Bernie hadn't seen Serena this relaxed in such a long time, but as she was taking a moment to observe from the outside, Ruby came running up behind her, throwing a snowball at her. It hit her on the back and she turned around.  
'Right Missy, your for it now!'  
Bernie scooped up a huge pile of snow and threw it at Ruby, who laughed gleefully and ran away. 

Bernie had turned her back and Serena saw her opportunity. Gathering a massive pile of snow, she walked quietly up to Bernie and then in one swift movement, shoved the whole lot down the back of Bernies beloved pink coat.  
'God, that's freezing! Who did that?'  
Bernie turned round and saw Serena standing there, in absolute peals of laughter.   
'You think that's funny do you Serena Campbell?'  
'Yes! Oh your face Bernie!'  
'It's your face you should be watching out for.'  
'Mine why?'

Out of nowhere, Bernie threw a massive snowball straight into Serena's face. The sheer force of the throw knocked her backwards as Serena was lifted off her feet and tumbling back into the snow.   
'Nanny Bernie just hit Nanny Serena with a snowball. My turn!!'  
'No you don't missus. I think the enough snowballs for a minute. Hey how about we make a snowman?'  
'Good idea cousin Elinor. Ruby. Let me a good uncle and show you how to roll up the snow.'

Serena sat up just in time to see Ruby running after Jason and Elinor to the front of the house. Bernie was making funny movements.  
'Bernie, what are you doing?'  
'Making a snow angel.'  
'I haven't done them since I was a kid.'  
'Well, come on. Make one with me'

Serena shook her head fondly and lay down next to Bernie, making her own Angel for a few minutes. Then Bernie was on top of her, lifting her out of the snow, kissing her like it was the last time she was ever going to kiss anyone. 

'Do you know something?'  
'You love making snow angels with your wife?'  
Bernie giggled and wrapped Serena's hands in her own.   
'Well, yes and no. I love making memories with you. But I don't need to make an angel, because I have no own angel, right here with me.'

Serena's eyes welled up with tears as she squeezed Bernies hands and kissed her back, softly and slowly.


	84. Memory Lane

84: 

As January bore into February, Bernie and Serena continued to bask in their happiness. They were as close as they had ever been, and more in love than ever. They didn't have much time alone as since the year had begun, the trauma unit on AAU had been working overtime to keep on track, happily managing under the direction of their co leads.

Valentines Day came and went. They had both been working but had managed to get out of for dinner to their favourite Italian. It seemed to be the place where they could go and unwind. It was where they'd began as friends before they came lovers and then married. 

Bernies six year anniversary in the hospital rolled around on 23rd February. Bernie could have never foreseen how arriving at Holby would change her life. Even when she'd been outed on Keller, it was the chance she had needed to finally be herself. And then she'd met her match in Serena Campbell. The two of them belonged together- Bernie didn't know how she'd cope for the first fifty years of her life without Serena by her side. 

*********************************

Bernie and Serena were both working separately. It had been a relatively quiet shift so far, with only one trauma patient who Bernie was overseeing.   
'Miss Campbell, you have to see who's back on the ward.'  
'As in a patient?'   
'Yes, come and see. I promise, you'll love it.'  
'Alright, in coming.'

Serena followed Fletch out of the office and onto the ward. The curtains were drawn around the bed. As Fletch drew them back, Serena let out a gasp at who was in the bed.  
'Richard Bliss!'  
'Ah, if it isn't the surgeon who saved me.'  
'Well it was rather a team effort Mr Bliss'  
'But you were rather kind to me from what I remember.'

Serena smiled and checked his notes. At least this time he wasn't in for something silly like last time.  
'Would you excuse me? Nurse Fletch will look after you. Fletch, half hourly obs please and let's organise a CT scan.   
'Right you are Miss Campbell.'

*********************************

'Hey you....' Bernie walked into the office, carrying two cups of coffee from Pulses.  
'Hey yourself...' Serena grinned, taking one of them from her.  
'Why are you so happy?'  
'Oh, wait til I tell you.'  
'Tell me what?'  
'Bath tap guy is back.'

Bernie looked confused for a moment before it dawned on her what Serena was getting at.  
'The man who impaled himself on a bat tap.'  
'Yep that's the one.'  
'I remember him.'  
'I do, as well, but I also remember you let me win in the arm wrestle?'  
'Me? Never!'

Serena returned Bernies smile infectiously and was about to reply when Fletch knocked urgently at the door.  
'Serena, it's Richard. His blood pressure is up and his drain is filling up with blood.'  
'Right..'

Serena and Bernie left the office and went straight over to Richards bed. He was very pale and two minutes later, his drain was full of blood.   
'Right, he's losing too much blood. Must be an internal bleed somewhere. Let's get him into theatre. Coming Miss Campbell?'

*********************************

Bernie slumped on the floor of the theatre, feeling dejected. She'd been riding high after the successful removal of the fence railing embedded in her patients leg, but now she'd been bought back down to Earth with a bump. She and Serena hadn't managed to save Richard. They had stemmed his bleeding, but a tear on his diaphragm had lead him to arresting, and despite many attempts, Bernie hadn't been able to save him. 

'Bernie?'  
Serena pushed open the door to the theatre. Seeing the woman she loved sat on the floor, Serena dropped down beside her.  
'Are you alright?'  
'Just upset that we couldn't save him Serena.'  
'Bernie, we did our best. Sometimes it isn't good enough; we can't save everyone.'  
'I know, just Richard Bliss holds a special place in my heart.'  
'Well, it's not everyday you meet a patient impaled on a bath tap.'

Bernie interlocked Serena's fingers in hers and spent a minute just looking at their clasped hands.  
'Well that is true, but that isn't why I remember him.'  
'Why do you?'  
'Because that's the day I began to see you differently Serena. As soon as I held your hand for the arm wrestle, I got butterflies. That's when things began to change for me.'  
'Oh Bernie....'  
'Up until then, you'd been a really great friend to me, but after that I began to develop feelings for you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I buried them, but soon I realised I was I completely in love with you.'  
'I had no idea.'  
'And why would you Serena? I told no-one, I couldn't.'

Serena squeezed Bernies hand, looking around when she suddenly realised something.  
'You know where we are?'  
'In theatre. Are you okay?'  
'Bernie, were on the floor in theatre. Remember the last time we were here?'  
'How could I ever forget that day? I had to kiss you in that moment. Do you remember?'  
'How could I forget? That was the moment, my whole perspective on life changed. I was initially shocked when you kissed me, but I wasn't surprised. That's when I realise I had feelings for you. I think I had for a while.'  
'Really?'  
'I think so. That day with Cameron, I was incredibly hurt you'd lied again. But what surprised me was that I even more upset that you hadn't trusted me enough to tell me. I think for me that's when things changed.'

Bernie looked at Serena, staring into her eyes. How much the brunette had changed her life, how much love she'd brought into her life. Serena didn't know what's she'd done for Bernie; Bernie doubted she ever would. 

'What are you thinking?'  
'Just about us.'  
'What about us?'  
'Just that, I had no idea how much stability and love you have bought into my life. You saved me Serena. Every day you choose to let me love you, you save me.'  
'Hey, none of that. We've saved each other Bernie, it's what we do.'  
'I love you.'  
'And I love you.'

Bernie leant over and kissed Serena deeply, not caring where they were it that anyone could walk in. Today had been a trip down memory lane, how far they'd done since first meeting. Reminded the two of them why they'd fallen for each other in the first place, and how they'd fallen for each other.

Talk about a journey.

But another journey was about to commence for the two of them. Over he next few months. Would it be a nice journey or a hardship one? 

Stay tuned to find out.


	85. Clock Watching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, had a bit of writers block.

February drew to a close and spring made an appearance. The winter period had been frenetic and chaotic on the ward. The change of scenery saw a calmer AAU, but with Bernie and Serena at the helm, AAU was a well oiled machine.

The days got longer and the nights shorter. Bernie and Serena had been like passing ships in the night for the past ten days, working alternate shifts. They knew they couldn't be together all the time, but they were still missing each other enormously. 

But that was all about to change. 

It was a Friday afternoon. Bernie had been on night shifts for the last ten days and she'd left the hospital at 7am that morning. Unusually, she now had four days off. After much begging with Hanssen, she'd got him to change the rota allowing Serena to have time off as well.

She glanced at her watch- 2:30pm. Only 90 minutes until Serena finished her shift, and then Bernies plan would be kicked into overdrive. She couldn't wait.

*********************************

Serena came back from theatre, rolling her sleeves up to her elbows. Her and Raf had worked well together, saving the patient after they collided with a lamppost. But she was missing the companionship of having Bernie with her in theatre and on the ward.

For the last ten days, Bernie had been at work when Serena arrived and then she was back in at 7pm when Serena was leaving. Hanssen had done the rota, and she knew she couldn't be with Bernie all the time. When Bernie wasn't with her it was like part of her was missing- like she couldn't breathe properly until she was back by her side.

Thank god she was on an early finish today. 4 o'clock couldn't roll around quick enough. Hanssen had spoken to her yesterday and said Ric was covering her shifts tomorrow and Monday. When she'd asked why, Hanssen had just smiled. It had to be something to do with Bernie, but Serena wasn't going to moan. Right now 4 days off with her wife sounded a little slice of heaven.

*********************************

Glancing at the clock, Serena groaned. Still twenty minutes to go, Bernie had already text her to tell her she was coming to pick her up at 4. What was she planning? Serena hated being kept in the dark- especially by Bernie. 

'You've been clock watching all afternoon. Got a hot date tonight?' Raf appeared in the doorway. Serena nodded him in and he came in and sat in Bernies chair.  
'Haha, I wish. I have no idea what is going on.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'I have a sneaky suspicion my darling wife has got something up her sleeve.'  
'You haven't seen much of each other lately have you?'  
'No and I'm missing her like crazy. I feel like I'm missing my right arm or something'

Raf was about to reply when Morven appeared in the doorway, holding a bunch of red roses.  
'Um...Miss Campbell? These are for you?'  
'Oh Morven, you shouldn't have.'  
'I didn't, but I think we can all guess who did.'  
'I bet we can all guess Doctor Digby.'

Rafs pager went of in his pocket.  
'Incoming patient. Morven, can you assist?'  
'I can help Raf.' Serena interjected but Raf shook his head.   
'No Serena. Thank you but your off in five minutes. Whatever Bernie is planning, I don't think she would appreciate it if we were to waylay you past your clocking off time.'

Raf and Morven left the office and left Serena examining the huge rose bouquet. There was no card but it didn't take a genius to figure out who they were from. Her phone suddenly went off, making her jump.

Bernie.  
'Did you get my surprise?  
Bernie was definitely planning something she deduced. Typing back a reply, she picked up her bag and put on her coat. 

Two minutes later, Bernie text again.   
'I'm outside. Hurry up and get down here. I'm missing you.'

Serena smiled and picked up the roses, before leaving the office and the ward. Just what was Bernie planning?


	86. Countryside Surprise

86:

Serena was sat in the car watching the world bypass her. She'd been in the car for over an hour and she was still none the wiser as to where they were going. Bernie has picked her up outside the hospital and said she had a surprise in store, but that's all Serena knew. Now, she was even more perplexed and lost as to any possibilities. 

'Bernie? You sure you know where you're going?'  
'Yes, we're not far.'  
'Where are we going?'  
'Serena, trust me. You'll find out soon enough. I promise you'll love it.'  
'How do you know?'  
'Because I know you better than you know yourself. So stop worrying and relax'

Bernie reached over and put her hand on Serena's leg, before returning her hand to the steering wheel. Serena smiled at the touch and then relaxed in the chair, happy in the knowledge that Bernie knew her inside out and back to front. So the surprise would be a great one, whatever it was.

*********************************

Half an hour later, Bernie stopped the car. Turning off the ignition, she glanced over and Serena and her face broke out into a grin. Her wife had fallen asleep- her face softer and younger. The sun was shining, illuminating every feature of Serena's face and drawing them out. Her face seemed softer in the light- as fresh as a raindrop.

Bernie watched her for a moment, before reaching over and gently shaking her.  
'Serena?'  
'Hmmm...?'  
'Serena, wake up, we're here.'  
'Where in here exactly?'  
'Why don't you get out of the car and find out?'

Serena blinked in the sunlight and got out of the car. She wasn't sure what to expect but when she saw the hotel, set back off its own private driveway, with the essence of grandure and sophistication, she was completely taken aback. Her eyes swivelled to the fountain right outside, to the complete quiet around them. She was shocked to the core.

'Bernie...what is this?'  
'Surprised?'  
'Just a bit. What is this place and what are we doing here?'  
'We're here all weekend. Until Monday. I thought we could do with some pampering after our long hours at work.'  
'Pampering?'  
'Yes. This isn't just a hotel. It's a spa as well. I want to spoil you. We havent been away for a while.'  
'We were away at Valentine's'  
'I know but this is just a weekend away. Valentines as a special occasion. We haven't been away on an ordinary weekend for quite some time. I want to spoil you. I've hardly seen you lately cause of our shifts.'  
'But? How much is this costing?'  
'Let me worry about that. This is me, treating you for the weekend. Please, just enjoy it.'

Serena kissed Bernie impulsively on the lips. The force of her almost throwing herself at Bernie, knocked the two of them backwards into the side of the car. After a second the alarm began to go off, causing Serena and Bernie to break apart. The two of them broke into giggle as Bernie fumbled for her keys to turn it off.

When the ringing had subsided, Serena slipped her hand into Bernies. She was very much looking forward to being pampered and getting to spend the whole weekend with the woman she loved, well that was an added bonus. 

The two of them walked into the lobby of the hotel, for their first of three nights in the hotel.

Something tells me this weekend is going to be magical in more ways than one.


	87. Saturday Mornin

87:

Bernie opened her eyes, blinking in the sunlight that was streaming in through the opened curtains. The morning breeze was blowing gently through the open window. Bernie could see the leaves on the trees outside, dancing to the winds very tune. It was such a pleasant sight to see in the morning, especially with the chorus of birdsong in the background. It really was a performance that Bernie enjoyed.

'Morning.'  
Bernie rolled over to see Serena sat up in bed with her dressing gown around her for warmth. As soon as she caught her wife's eye, Bernies mouth broke out into a grin.  
'Morning you, how long you been awake?'  
'Not long. I didn't want to wake you. You seemed so peaceful, I just had been sat her thinking.'

Bernie sat up in bed, edging closer to Serena. Lacing her fingers with Serena's, she took a moment to appreciate how beautiful her wife looked this morning.  
'What are you staring at me like that for?'  
'I'm not staring, im appreciating.'  
'Appreciating?'  
'Appreciating how radiant you are this morning.'  
'Me? Radiant? As if...'  
'Serena Campbell, why wouldn't I think you aren't?'  
'Let me think...because I'm not...'

Serena shook her head at Bernie. Bernie moved one hand to push Serena's chin upwards, making her look her straight in the eye.   
'Serena Wendy Campbell. Listen to me, you are as beautiful to me as you were on that very first day. The first day I laid eyes on you. Every time I see you, my heart skips a beat. Don't ever think you aren't beautiful, because you are. You are the most beautiful person I know- not just on the outside but the inside as well. It's your beautiful way with words, your beautiful personality that I fell in love with Serena. You must know that you're beautiful.'

Bernie paused, looking at Serena. Her eyes were glossed over with tears.   
'There is only one of us that has a beautiful way with words, and it most definitely isn't me. When I'm with you, you make me feel like the only girl in the world.'  
'You're the only girl in my world but you already know that. My whole world revolves around you. Everything I do is for you.'  
'That's what I was thinking about this morning?'  
'What?'  
'All this that you've done for me. How can I ever thank you?'  
'You're here with me. That's enough.'  
'I love you so much Bernie. This weekend is going to be amazing.'  
'I love you as well. And I know, this place is like a dream isn't it?'  
'I had a very nice dream last night.'  
'Did you? What was it about?'

Serena grinned mischievously and got off the bed, walking over to the en-suite. Undoing her robe, she let it slide to the floor.  
'It involved you, me and a shower.'  
'Oh it did, did it?'  
'Yes.'  
'Do you want to make that dream a reality?'  
'I'm not standing like this for no reason.'

Bernie grinned mischeviously at Serena; and followed her into the bathroom, smacking her behind and closing the door behind them. Away from prying eyes and the audience at the window.


	88. Saturday Surprise

88:

Serena lay back on the pillows, watching as the cool night air blew around their private balcony. Thinking and reflecting on what a day it had been, she smiled to herself. She was loving being away- she hadn't realised just how much she'd needed to chill and take time out, until it was offered to her on a plate by the woman she loved.

The two of them had spent the morning relaxing by the swimming pool. Serena had washed away the ten days of long and hard shifts on AAU. After the afternoon of pampering in the spa, Serena had come out feeling fresh, rejuvenated and like a new woman. While Serena had been getting a facial, manicure and pedicure, Bernie had worked out in the gym. Lord knows why she needed to, but Serena couldn't help but admire her dedication. Only Bernie could come to a spa and use a gym.

They'd reunited in time to share a candlelit dinner in the restaurant over the hotel. Serena couldn't believe how happy she was. Everything was so perfect right now- this place was a little piece of heaven, miles away from the hectic and chaotic atmosphere of AAU. She really had needed this break- time out to just be human again.

*********************************

Bernie was outside the hotel, smoking a cigarette. Today had been amazing, and she knew the rest of the weekend was only going to get better.

Taking a last drag before stubbing the cigarette butt out, Bernie glanced up at the sky for a minute. It was a clear night, with a sky full of stars and no sign of clouds. Her eyes scanned the sky for a minute before she smiled to herself, and went back in to the hotel.

*********************************

'There you are, I was beginning to get worried' Serena had been waiting for ages, and had been starting to worry slightly.  
'Sorry, I got a bit sidetracked outside.'  
'With what?'  
'The sky, its full of stars, its really pretty.'  
'I used to love the night sky. It reminds me of when Ellie was little, and she used to stargaze.'  
'Ah..well now you come to mention it.'  
'What?'

Bernie opened her suitcase and rooted around for a minute, before extracting a telescope and a tripod, both folded away in the case.  
'What? Where did you get that from?'  
'Jason gave me the tripod, and Alan the telescope. Give me a minute to set it up and you can come outside and see.'  
'I didn't know you were into stargazing.'  
'I'm not really, but I know you are, a night like tonight is perfect.'  
'I love you Bernie Wolfe.'  
'And I love you Serena Campbell.'

*********************************

Serena stood in the doorway to the balcony, watching as Bernie fitted the telescope to the tripod. Smiling to herself, she glanced up at the night sky. Bernie was right, tonight really was the perfect night for stargazing.

'It's done.'  
'You're a whizz at putting things together. I'm useless.'  
'Serena, you're not useless. There's just things that I'm better at, and there's thins you're better at. Stop putting yourself down, you're amazing and I love you just the way you are.'

Serena smiled in response and came outside. She had wrapped the blanket from the bed around her for warmth. As she drew Level with Bernie, she opened the blanket, offering half to her. Bernie smiled and wrapped herself up in the blanket.

'Thank you for what you just said Bernie.'  
'I meant every word.'  
'I know. And what I said this morning; you truly do have a way with words. You always know what to say.'  
'I just say what's in my heart Serena. No gifts, not tricks. Just me.'

Serena snuggled closer to Bernie, resting her head on her shoulder. Bernie wrapped one arm around Serena for a moment, before pointing at the sky.  
'So, what's your favourite?'  
'The Pole Star. It's always there, same position in the sky every night. I think that's my favourite.'  
'That's sweet. I have a favourite.'  
'You do?'  
'Yeah, I set the telescope up. Why don't you go and see?'

Serena looked at Bernie, slightly perplexed. Getting out of the blanket, she wandered over to the telescope, peering into it.   
'That star is twinkling rather nicely. Why is that one your favourite?'  
'Do you want to know?'  
'Of course!'  
'Because it's your star.'

Serena moved back from the telescope, peering wide eyes at Bernie.  
'What do you mean, it's your star?'  
'It's not called your star. It's your star Serena. A star for you.'  
'For me?'  
'Yes for you. Its name at the moment is K579167.'  
'Was this you?'  
'Was what me?'

Serena pointed at the sky.  
'The star. Was it your idea?'  
'Serena, the whole thing has been done by me. I bought it for your I wanted to try and show you just how much you mean to me.'

Serena was understandably shocked. Sanding frozen for a second, she didn't know what to do, when she suddenly burst into tears and threw her arms around Bernie.

'This is the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for me.'  
'Well I'm glad that you love it.'  
'I more than love it. How do you continue to surprise me, even now?'  
'Because I love you Serena. All I want to do is to make you happy.'

Serena cried for a moment on Bernie's shoulder, before pulling away.  
'So, what are you going to call it?  
'The star?'  
'Yes, it needs a name Serena. Any ideas?'  
'Berena.'  
'Berena?'  
'That's what I'm calling the star. You're the light of my life Bernie, the reason I'm still here today. I think you know how much I love you. Berena is what we are, what we will always be. You're my star Bernie Wolfe, you always will be.'

Bernie threw her arms around Serena, pulling her close.  
'I don't know what to say.'  
'You don't need to say anything.'  
'God, I love you so much.'  
'And I love you as well Bernie.'

Serena kissed Bernie. The two of them stood there embracing in the cool night air, with the Berena star twinkling in the sky above them.


	89. In The Dark

The rest of their time at the spa flew by, and before they knew it Wednesday rolled around. They'd never been closer than they had on the Saturday night when Bernie had surprised Serena with the star. But that was all about to change. 

Serena had been quiet for most of the day, but Bernie had been expecting it. It was the anniversary of her mother's death and despite 8 years having passed, it was still raw for Serena. Bernie was just glad that Serena had kept herself contained for the shift- Serena knew she could talk to Bernie anytime she needed to, but she also liked to pretend she was fine. That's why Bernie had kept a watchful eye, but so far Serena had remained in control and kept her emotions in check. 

*********************************************************

Bernie was in the office, completing the paperwork for a trauma patient, when Raf appeared in the doorway.  
'Ms Wolfe?'  
'Yes Raf, what can I do.for you?'  
'Could you please sign this transfer form so we can get Mr Puncher shipped up to Keller?'  
'Yes of.course. Come in'

Raf walked into the office, closing the door behind him. Handing the form to Bernie, he watched as she signed it.  
'Enjoyed your weekend off then?'  
'Oh Raf, it was so nice to get away for a few days. I bought Serena a star, and surprised her with it on Saturday.'  
'You bought her a star?'  
'I thought it might show her how much I love her.'  
'Bernie, its obvious for everyone to see how much you both love each other. You would go to the ends of the earth to make each other happy. It sounds like you literally did. A star. That is so romantic.'  
'I haven't told you the best bit yet. Why don't you sit down a minute?'

Raf nodded, and sat down in Serena's chair.  
'What's the best bit?'  
'She named the star after us. She called it Berena. She said I was her star. I don't think I've ever been happier.'  
'Bernie, that sounds so.special. I'm glad the two of you had a happy weekend, especially given how hard today is for Serena. I can't believe its been 8 years already.'  
'You knew today was her mum's anniversary?'  
'Of course I do. I was there when she died.'  
'Were you?'  
'Yes'  
'Serena told me everything about her Mum. The fact Serena was with her until the end says more about her than it does about her mother.'  
'I think the fact she.helped her mum to die speaks.volumes about Serena.'  
'What?'

Raf looked at Bernie, and judging by the confusion in her eyes, she had no idea what he was talking about.   
'Raf, what are you talking about? I thought her mum didn't want to be resuscitated.'  
Bernie watched Raf squirming. It seemed to her that there was something Serena was keeping from her. Something that Raf was also aware of.  
'Raf?'

Raf couldn't meet Bernie's gaze. He'd well and truly let something slip now. He thought Bernie knew about what he and Serena did, but she had no idea.   
'Bernie. I don't think I should be telling you this.'  
'Telling me what? What is it you and Serena aren't telling me? And what do you mean, she helped her Mum to die?'  
'This is a conversation you should be having with Serena.'  
'I don't know where she is.'  
'Go and find her. You might want to start in the peace garden.'  
'The peace garden, why?'  
'Trust me, she will be there. She will tell you.'  
'Tell me what?'  
'Bernie, its not my place. And its not my style to tell. Please go.and find her.'  
'Okay.'

Bernie had unwittingly stumbled upon something that Serena was keeping from her. She was determined to find out what Serena was keeping from her,but when.she did, where.would that leave the relationship for Berena?


	90. Secrets

Serena didn't know how long she'd been sat in the garden- she'd lost track of the time. Today had bought everything back to her regarding her Mum. And it was still hard, 8 years on.

She'd been sat on the floor hugging her knees for what seemed like an eternity, when Serena got a sense that she was no longer alone with her thoughts. Turning her head, she saw Bernie standing behind her.

'Hey, I didn't know you were there. You surprised me.'  
'Thats me, full of surprises.'  
Bernie's tone was cool and clipped, alerting Serena to the fact that something was wrong. Getting up off the floor, she wiped her hands on her trousers, and stood opposite Bernie. Serena could see that Bernie was looking at her with confusion in her eyes.

'What is it? What's wrong?'  
'I've just had a conversation with Raf.'  
'Right, is everything okay?'  
'Not really Serena.'

Worried, Serena moved forward extending her arms to Bernie. Bernie stepped away from her, folding her arms across her chest. Serena stopped suddenly, hurt by Bernie's rejection.   
'Did I do something?'  
'Im not sure. Perhaps you'd care to fill me in?'  
'On what, Bernie you're talking in riddles.'  
'Oh am I? Okay- what are you and Raf keeping from me.about your mum?'  
'My mum?'  
'Raf said you helped her to die.'

As soon as Bernie said the words, she saw the colour drain from Serena's face. In that instant, she knew.  
'So its true then?'  
'Bernie, I...'  
'What did you do?'  
'I...I can explain.'  
'Can you? Because I'm dying to hear it. Come on, out with it.'

'Well, you know my mum got admitted in here. One day, we were out here and she asked me to help her die. At first I said no, but later, things changed. She deteriorated really quickly, and began to forget everything. It killed me to see her like that, so I did what she asked, I let her sign the DNR.'  
'But she wasn't in her right mind?'  
'I know, but she was in pain. I put the pen in.her hand and helped her sign it. Then, well you know she had a stroke and she died.'  
'And where does Raf fit into this?'  
'Raf was her doctor. I told him what I'd done when she arrested, and he helped me by saying my mum was in.her right mind when.she signed the DNR. Then she came out here to help me bury her ashes.'

Serena had tears in her eyes. She looked over at Bernie to see her eyes were.dry and full.of anger.  
'And you let him lie for you?'  
'Well...yes.'  
'I can't believe what I'm hearing. Serena what you did is illegal and went against everything you stand for as a doctor.'  
'I know, but I had to.choose between being a.doctor and a daughter. And maybe I chose.wrong, but it's in the past now. I can't change it.'  
'And in all the time we've been together, you never thought to mention any of this to me?'  
'Well, um,no'  
'I thought we were equals Serena'  
'We are Bernie.'  
'Well clearly not. If Raf hadn't let that slip, I'd never have known. Oh my god, you wouldn't have told me would you?'  
'I...you wouldn't understand. You weren't there.'

Bernie's face flushed with anger.  
'You're damn right I don't understand. I thought I knew you'  
'You do know me.'  
'No.I.don't. Because if you've kept this a.secret.for the whole time we've been together, what else are you not tellinf me? I don't know you at all and you don't know me if you think I wouldn't understand. We promised to be honest with each other, we made that vow. And now it seems you've been keeping secrets from me the.whole time. Do you know what hurts the most? It's not the fact of what you did, or the fact you let Raf cover up for you. Its the fact you couldn't tell me. Everything we have, its built upon a lie.  
'It's not Bernie.'  
'Serena, how can I believe anything you say ever again? I can't do this. I need to think...'  
'Bernie, please...'  
'Leave me alone Serena, I mean it.'

Bernie turned her back on.Serena and walked away. Serena watched her walk away before letting the tears fall. What had she done?

*********************************************************

Raf had to drop Serena home. Bernie had bought them both in that morning but shed left the hospital alone,.still refusing to talk to.Serena.  
'Are you going to be okay?'  
'I dont know. I need to explain properly.'  
'Well you know where I am if you need me.'  
'Thank you'

Serena went up the driveway and opened the door.  
'Bernie?'  
No answer  
'Bernie?'  
Still no answer

Going into the kitchen, she spied the note.  
'I've gone away for a few days. I need time to think and weigh up everything. Please don't call me, I want to be on my own'

Collapsing to the floor, Serena began to cry uncontrollably. What had she done? Would Bernie forgive her?

Thats the trouble with secrets. They always find a way of being exposed and when they do, there is always a price to pay. Serena's secret had been outed. What price would she pay?

Secrets and lies is a dangerous game to play. Now Serena had played for too long and lost the one person she needed the most. Was it forever?


	91. Two Halves

Serena stood.outside the doors to the ward. She knew she looked a dishevelled mess- a shadow of her former self, but she really didn't care. Bernie had left, and Serena had no clue where they were going from here. Would Bernie even be here today?

Pushing open the doors, she sucked in.a breath and painted the smile on her face. She wouldn't let onto the rest of the world that she was breaking from the inside out- she had a job to do and she was good at it.

The office was empty thank goodness, but Bernies coat was hanging up.and her computer was on. So she was here. What could Serena say to her? She knew she'd hurt Bernie beyond repair. Why hadn't she told her Mum? In all.honesty, she didn't know. The only thing she did know was that she needed Bernie, she was nothing without her.

'Serena?'  
Serena turned around to see Raf lurking in.the doorway. Hanging.up her coat, she sat down and waved him in.   
'How is everything?'  
'Not good'  
'So, you haven't patched things up yet then?'  
'She's left me.'  
'Left you?'  
'I got in last night, and she'd left a note saying she wants to be on her own.'  
'Oh...Serena...I'm sorry. I feel like its my fault.'  
'It's not. I'm the.one who keep it a secret from her.'  
'Well, if it's any consolation, she looks rough this morning. Like she hasnt slept at all.'  
'Well, I know I haven't. I need to talk to her, but she won't give me the time of the day. I.should have told her, but I didn't think she'd understand. I probably handled it wrong, but I still wouldn't change what we did.'  
'Neither would I. Bernie wasn't there Serena, she didn't see how much you were struggling.'

'Are you.two quite finished?'  
They'd both been chatting and hadn't noticed Bernie in the.doorway.  
'I'll leave you to it' Raf practically ran out of the office.   
'Bernie, what you just heard.'  
'You don't need.to.explain. I've heard enough Serena'  
'You have to know'  
'Know what? You don't think I know what you think. I wasn't there.so I dont have a right to know'  
'That's not what I mean'  
'Look, I dont want to know. You never mean what you say anyway'

Bernie stood in silence.staring at the floor, fingering the necklace beneath her trauma scrubs.  
'You're still wearing it then?'  
'Sorry?'  
'The necklace you got me for Christmas. I've still got my half on, and you're wearing yours. Which mean you still love me right?'

Bernie undid the.necklace and stared at it for a moment as it slid from.her neck tp her hands.  
'Yes, I still love you. But at the minute I'm too angry and hurt. Serena, you really have no idea at all do you? And to think I was going to let you explain properly. But after hearing you say yet again that I wouldn't understand, I realise there is no point.'

'And as for this, (holding up the necklace), this means nothing. We were two equal halves, but now, I'm not.sure what we.are. I'm too.angry to talk, our.vows meant so much to me, but obviously not to you. So yes I still love you, but I can't trust you and I don't know if I can forgive you.'

Bernie dropped the necklace on Serena's desk, and walked straight out of the office, leaving Serena broken even more. She began to.cry, unable to pretend anymore.

Were they.broken beyond repair?


	92. Day 5

Four further days passed. Bernie was still angry with Serena- she just couldn't believe that after everything they'd been through together, that Serena would keep something that big from her. She knew she loved her, but could she forgive her? Honestly, she didn't know. Until she could figure out what she wanted, it wad best to keep Serena at arms length.

Serena had been treading on eggshells on the ward for the last four days. Bernie was still giving her the cold shoulder. Every time she walked into the office, Bernie would get up and leave. Even in theatre, Bernie didn't speak to her unless she had to. 

And then the events of the fifth day changed everything.

********************************************************

The day had started like the last few. Serena walked into the office and Bernie got out of her chair to leave. For some reason, Serena captured Bernie's hand in the doorway, refusing to let her leave.   
'Bernie...'  
Bernie felt Serena pull gently on her hand, tugging her back from the doorway.  
'Serena, what are you doing?'  
'Bernie, how much longer are we not going to talk about this? I miss you'  
'I miss you too.'  
'I need you, please come home. We can sort this.'  
'I don't know if we can Serena. Please don't do this here, I have to go.'  
Bernie pulled her hand free and walked out of the office.

*********************************************************

Serena groaned at the clock. Today really was dragging. She hadn't seen Bernie since their encounter earlier. She'd been in theatre and then disappeared from the ward. Serena didn't know how much longer she could cope with them being apart. It was ripping her apart from the inside out. 

A disturbance on the ward interrupted her train of thought. She could hear.shouting. Leaving her paperwork on the desk, she went out to see what was going on. It became apparent a patient was shouting at Fletch.

'Fletch, is everything okay?'  
'Miss Campbell, this gentleman is refusing to hand over his bag. I've explained that we can keep it in the locker, but he won't budge.'  
'Are you the organ grinder or the monkey?'  
'Excuse me?' Serena was taken aback by his attitude.   
'Are you in charge around here?'  
'Yes. Why? What seems to be the problem?'  
'This bag is never leaving my sight. And I want some privacy. Is there nowhere else you can put me?'  
'Im sorry Mr...?'  
'Simpson'  
'Im sorry Mr Simpson, but we treat all of our patients the same, so I'm afraid its this or nothing.'  
'Right...well....'

'Everyone stay where you are!'  
Hearing the.voice bellow across the ward, everyone fell silent. Serena turned to see five hooded figures standing in the middle of the ward.  
'What's going on?' Fletch wanted to know who they were and what they were doing here.  
'I said, stay where you are!'  
'You're scaring my patients. Please remove your hoods and I will be happy to help you.'

Serena started to move forwards, but the retracting noise made her stop dead. She was staring down the barrrel of a gun.

********************************************************

Bernie had taken refuge in Pulses for lunch. She knew she and Serena couldn't carry as they were. Ernie was still beyond angry and hurt, but underneath it all, she loved Serena. More than she'd ever loved anyone, she was struggling without her- she needed her 

Walking back towards the ward, coffee in hand, her mind wandering when she heard the noise. The bang.

The single gunshot.


	93. Hostage

The gunshot echoed around AAU and down the.corridor. As soon as Bernie heard it, she stopped. Was that a gunshot? She knew it was, she'd heard enough of them in the army to know what it sounded like.

'Serena...' The reality dawned on Bernie, and she ran down the.corridor. Adrenaline and fear propelled her forward, towards the doors. Her coffee lay forgotten on the floor, the dark liquid seeping from the cup to the floor

Reaching the door, Bernie tried to push them open, but they wouldn't budge. Desperate, she began to pummel her fists against them.  
'Serena! Serena!'

Radiosilence.

*********************************************************

Serena could hear Bernie shouting her name, but there was no way she could respond. Two of the men rounded up all the staff- tying them up and gagged them. Two others had barricaded the doors with crutches and pushed a desk in front of it. When the man had fired the.gun, Serena had been convinced she was about to die. But he had fired through the curtain of a thankfully empty cubicle.

Two of the men grabbed Serena and Fletch roughly, indicating they should get up. One look in Fletchs eyes and Serena saw they were an exact mirror of hers, full.of fear and tears. 

The gunman violently pulled.off their gags.  
'Whatever you want....please...just...t...take it. We won't b...be...any trouble will we Serena?'  
'N..no. We....we...we will do whatever you want. Just...p...Please... dont hurt us..'

The gunman studied them for a minute, before he replied.  
'Aww sweetheart, I know you will give me whatever I want. I'm sorry you had to get caught up in this, but a man has to.protect his reputation. I'm not here for any of you'  
'W...w...well why are you here then?'  
'Im here to get what I'm owed sweetheart that's all. And to show what happens when I get double crossed.'

'Serena!' Bernie's voice travelled through the doors. It sounded panicked. The man smiled.  
'Friend of.yours?'  
'My wife.'  
'You're wife'  
'Yes my wife'  
'She must love you very much. She sounds very panicked.'  
'She worries. She just wants to know im okay.'  
'Well, shall we let her know you are okay? She might stop shouting.'  
'W...What?'  
'Come with me.'

The man drags Serena to the.door and, points the.gun in her face.  
'You tell her you're okay.and.to.go away. We just need some time.to.sort our problems and then.we'll be.gone Do as you're.told and you'll be back with your wife soon. Got it?'  
'Yes'  
'Good. Well go on then.'

'Bernie?'  
'Serena! Oh my.God. Are you okay?  
'Yes I'm fine.'  
'What's going on? Why can't I get in?'  
'Uh...'  
'Serena?'

The man pressed the gun to.Serena's throat.   
'You tell her and I will.shoot you.'  
But he had underestimated Bernie's spock ears, she heard every word.   
'Whoever you are I suggest you.give it up. You're messing with the wrong.people'  
'I am am.I?'  
'Yes you have no idea who or what you're messing with.'  
'Is that a threat?'  
'Bernie, be careful.' Serena pleaded  
'Yes Bernie, be careful. Or I might just pull.the.trigger and then your.little.wifey here gets blown to bits. Is that what you want?'  
'No don't. Let her go. I'll come instead.'  
'Bernie, no!'  
'You two are quite the lovebirds. No.one is going anywhere. Bernie, just run along and leave us to it. Then your wife will be back with you soon, okay?'  
'Serena?'  
'Bernie, do as he says. I dont want you to ger hurt.'  
'Rather me than you.'  
'No! Please, just.go. I'll be fine.'  
'I...uh...okay. Serena? I love you.'  
'I love you too.'

Serena tried to fight back the tears as she hears Bernie turn and walk away.  
'There we go. That wasn't so hard was it?'  
'What do you want?'  
'Im looking for.someone. He was bought in this afternoon, and he has something of mine. Once I find him, ill take it and go. After I've taught him a lesson that is.'  
'Who?'

'Hey Dave, he's over here.' The gunman, Dave, let go.of Serena and went.over to the patient Fletch had been arguing with earlier.  
'Well well well. What have we got here?'

He whacked Mr Simpson on the head with the butt.of his gun. As the metal cracked against his skull, Serena collapsed.to the floor.

Would she ever get out of this?


	94. Take Down

Bernie walked to the end.of the.corridor, and pulled out her phone. She.wasn't going to let Serena deal with a madman.on her own. Dialling the three numbers, she held the phone up to her ear.  
'Police.'

*********************************************************

Dave had begun to root around in Mr Simpson's belongings. He found what he wanted and.let out a cheer.  
'Got what I'm owed, now let's finish off the toad.' He said raising his gun.  
'No! Dont.' Fletch got up and ran over to the bed 'You got what you need, now come on, you said you would.go'  
'Don't tell me what to.do. We will go when I say we go, not before.'  
'I have a duty here.to.every patient, including him. You've got what you need.'

Dave snapped and turned the.gun on.Fletch.  
'You are testing my patience now. Either move out of the way or I'll shoot you.'  
'Fletch, get out of the way. Don't die trying to be a hero, think of.your kids.' Serena's high pitched shriek shot across the ward. Fletch seemed to listen to her and he moved back from the bed.  
'She your boss?'  
'Why?'  
'She got a wise head on her shoulders.'  
'Yes, she runs the ward along with her wife. They are a formidable pair.of bosses.'  
'It.sounds like it. Are you going to behave yourself now?'  
'Yes.'  
'That's a good boy.'

Fletch moved back to where Serena was sat on the floor. Huddling up next to her, he could see she was terrified.   
'Are you okay?'  
'I don't know. Is he going to kill us?'  
'I dont know. Right now, he wants to kill Mr Simpson.'  
'We can't let him'  
'I know, but what can we do?'  
'I don't know.'

'Whispering. I hate whispering!' Dave fired the gun through the window of the nurse's office, shattering the glass. Serena screamed.

*********************************************************

Hearing the second gunshot and.Serenas scream, Bernie was convinced she'd been shot. Hanssen and Ric had evacuated the hospital, but Bernie couldn't leave. The police were outside, but Bernie needed to be here. Serena could be lying in there bleeding to death. There was nowhere else she could or would be. Not when she was in.danger of losing the one person she needed more than most.

*********************************************************

The floor was covered with broken shards of glass. It was when Fletch had the plan. If he could untie his hands, he.could tackle Dave and free everyone. It was a desperate idea, but it was a plan and it was better than nothing. He decided to try and reason with him.one more.time. 

'D..Dave?'   
Dave rounded on Fletch, holding the gun.to.his temple.  
'What do you want to say now? And I warn you, my patience is fast running out.'  
'I...just wanted.to say sorry I challenged you. Please.dont kill.him.'  
'I get that he.crossed you, but if you kill him, you'll be losing.your own life.'

Serena had decided to try and take him.down, trying.to get inside his head. Fletch moved over slowly and managed to get away from the gun, as Dave turned to Serena.  
'How will.I.be losing my life?'  
'Well, you'll be.spending it in prison. Is it really worth taking his life?'  
'Yes, because I have no intention of.going to.prison.'  
'How.do.you think you can avoid it?'  
'By not.getting caught.'

Fletch had begun to back away slowly, and managed.to get a glass shard in his hands. He.could only hope he.broke his ties in time

*********************************************************

The police began to move along the.corridor. They'd tried.to make Bernie.leave, but she'd refused point blank.to.go anywhere. They knew that these hostage situations oftened ended with fatalities.

*******************************************************

'What.do.you mean, won't get caught?'  
'That's my business. Now are you finished with the third.degree because I have a job to do.'  
'Dave, listen to me. There is never a good reason to kill.someone, no matter what they've done.to.you. Don't you see the only way out.of.this.is to give yourself.up?'  
'No, I can do what I came for and finish him. It's about.disrespect. He needs to learn some manners. Now I don't want.to hurt.you, but unless you.shut up right this minute, I will shoot you.'  
'But..Dave.'  
.Enough!' Dave pointed the gun at Serena. 

******************************************************

Then the room.exploded. The police stormed the ward.at exactly the same.moment as Dave fired the.gun at Serena. He hadn't meant to but Fletch tackled him, and the gun went off. Serena threw herself sideways, but the bullet still hit her. Crying out in pain, she saw the blood pouring from.her arm.

'Armed Police, drop the weapon.'  
'Dave! It's over, drop it or they'll shoot you.' Fletch shouted at Dave. Dave hesitated for a second, then threw the weapon on the floor. Fletch picked it up and threw it away. 

Bernie had heard the third gunshot and stood.rooted to the spot. What happened? She had heard.Fletch.shout, but where.was.Serena? Suddenly, she saw Serena shakenly.trying.to crawl away, clutching her arm. It was pouring with blood. Her heart dropped.

'Serena!' Bernie cried out and ran.forwards, not caring about any danger she might be in. She threw her arms around the brunette, who began to.sob uncontrollably in her arms.   
'I...I...I thought I would never...see...you..you...a...again'  
'Hey, hey, ssh. It's alright. I've got.you.' Bernie wrapped her arms.closer around Serena. 

The two of them gently sobbed untik the police ushered them both off.to get checked out.


	95. Inseperable

The police ushered Bernie and Serena down the corridor. Serena was a complete wreck, she was only just managing to hobble because of Bernie's arms around her. She'd never experienced like that in her life before- every time she closed her eyes for a second, she could hear the gunshots and she burst into tears.

When they finally reached Keller, Ric wanted to check Serena on her own- to treat her bloody arm, but she couldn't be on her own. She clung to Bernie, crying  
'Please, don't leave me.'  
'Serena it's alright. I'm not going anywhere. Ric, do you think I could look at her arm?'  
'Bernie, you're her next of kin, you know you can't.'  
'Ric, please. She's a mess. Please.'  
'Alright then.'  
'Thankyou.'

Bernie went into the side room with Serena and gently closed the.door behind them. Serena's grip was like.vice on Bernie's shirt- she was too scared to let go, in case Bernie left her. Bernie tried to.prise Serena away for a minute, but Serena wouldn't budge. 

'Serena I need you to let.go of me. I need to look at your arm.'  
'I can't. You will leave me.'  
'Serena, I am not.going anywhere, just let me look at.your arm. I.promise you, I will stay right here.'  
'I can't.'  
'You trust me don't.you?'  
'With my life.'  
'So, trust that I am not.going anywhere. Please just so I can look at you're arm. I love you, please.'  
'Okay.'

Very slowly, Serena released her grip on Bernie's shirt. The minute Bernie was free, she gingerly checked over Serena's arm. It was serious, but not life threatening.'  
'Serena, I need yo put it in a sling. The trolley is over there, I will be five paces away.'  
'No, no. You said you wouldn't leave me.'  
'Im not leaving you, I couldn't. I'll be away for two seconds. You can do this, I know you can'  
'You do?'  
'Serena, please. I'll nevee be out of your sight.'  
'Never?'  
'Never.'

Serena nodded, as Bernie walked over to the trolley and brought it back to the bed. Serena had gripped the bed, her eyes fixed on Bernie. She was holding her breath, and only relaxed when Bernie was back by her side.

Serena had sat willingly and let Bernie clean her up, neatly tying her sling. She was a little calmer, but not much.   
'Thank you.'  
'What for?'  
'For not letting me go, for not leaving me.'  
Bernie wrapped an arm around Serena's shoulder. She felt Serena relax, laying her head on Bernie's shoulder.  
'I told you. I'm never letting you go again. Serena, I love you.'  
'I love you too.'

The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, until.Ric popped his head around the door.  
'Are you two okay?'  
'I just want to go home.'  
'Serena, we should keep you admitted, just for.tonight.'  
'No, I want to go home.'  
'Ric, she won't let anyone else near her. I can look after her at home'  
'I don't know.'  
'Come on, you know I'm right. If anything happens, I'll bring her straight back, I promise.'  
'Okay then.'

Bernie unwound her arm from Serena's shoulder, offering her hand to her instead.  
'Home?'  
'Home..

*********************************************************

Serena was huddled in the corner.of AAU with the.  
gunshots firing. The glass kept shattering and she kept.screaming. Why.couldn't she stop it? Why was it happening over again?

Another noise. Shouting. Bernie.  
'Serena. Serena.'  
'Bernie!' She choked out the words, in tears.   
'Serena, wake up.'

Serena opened her eyes to see Bernie in front.of her. She was crying and her hands were shaking.  
'What happened?'  
'You fell asleep. Then you started screaming and.wouldn't stop.'  
'I was back on the ward... it was happening over again. The gun, the glass. Bernie, I thought...I thought I was.going.to die.' She broke.down in tears again.  
'Hey, its not real. I'm here with you. We're home. We're going to get through this.together.'  
'You mean that? Really?'  
'Yes. Come.on you're snaking, let's get you inside.'

*********************************************************

Serena let Bernie lead her straight up to the bedroom. She was too numb to do anything, so she let Bernie take her coat and shoes off. She.couldn't do anything with her arm anyway, so she let Bernie strip her and tuck her into bed like a baby. Bernie quickly took her.shirt and trousers.off, before getting under the covers with Serena. Finding her hand, Bernie squeezed it.gently.

Serena burst into tears. She was amazed she had any left to cry after the day she'd had, but they flowed out of her like a tap.   
'Serena? Are you in pain? Bernie was.concerned for her wife's welfare.  
'This isn't fair.' Serena.sobbed  
'What happened today wasn't fair Serena, but you will get through this. We both will.'  
'That's not what I meant.'

Bernie stroked Serenas cheek with her hand, trying.to wipe away her tears.  
'What did you mean?'  
'It's not fair on you.'  
'What isn't?'  
'Me...After what I did... I'm so.sorry I hurt you.'  
'What?'  
'My mum.'

Bernie put a finger to Serena's lips silencing her.  
'Let's.not talk about that.'  
'But I hurt you.'  
'Yes you did, but you know what? That's nothing compared.to the hurt I felt earlier, when I thought I'd lost you. I forgot what you'd done. I just needed.to know that.you were okay.'  
'Really?'  
'Really Serena.'

Serena struggled for a moment, trying to find the right words.   
'I....I...I thought I was going to die today. And...and..all I could think.of...was....me dying with you..hating me. And it r...r..ripped me apart thinking about it.'  
'I could never hate you Serena. I love you more than anything. Even more now, when I almost lost you. I can't live without you.'  
'I can't live without you, I can't...'  
'I know.'  
'They meant a lot to me as well,.you know that right?'  
'What?'  
'Give me a second'

Serena shakingly reached over.to her bedside.cabinet and pulled out their necklace.  
'My vows. The only vow I need.to.vow is to stand by you and keep loving you. Remember?'  
'Of course I do.'  
'This necklace. I.couldn't... I...won't.. what I mean is... I can't wear my.half if you aren't wearing yours. Because...Bernie, you complete me. Earlier..I...I was.so convinced I'd never see you again.'  
'But you did. You're here with me. And if you.give me that, I'll.put it back on.'  
'You will?'  
'Serena, I came this close to losing you today. I cant spend another minute apart from you. I love you more than anything.'

Serena passed Bernie the necklace, and watched as Bernie fastened one half around each of their necks.  
'Two halves of a whole.' Bernie whispered to Serena.  
'Bernie, I really, I'm so sorry.'  
'Its okay, I forgive you.'  
'I love you.'  
'And I love you.'  
'Stay with me, please,.don't leave me. Ever.'  
'Always, you know that.'


	96. Nightmares

Serena had never been one for vivid dreams. Well there was the odd occasion where sometimes she has woken up believing them to be real. They were the kind of dreams no.one would ever want to end and never want.to wake up from.

But not tonight. 

Serena had dropped off, safe in the knowledge that her ordeal was over and she was back with Bernie. With the army medics arms wrapped around her, shed felt safe and secure. But that was reality. Bernie wasn't in her.dreamworld, and her safety and security disintegrated quicker than anything.

How many times did she hear the gun go off? How many times did the glass shatter and explode in front of her? How many times did she hear the click.of the gun as he pointed it in her face?

Countless.

Serena was trapped in the same vicious cycle, the flashbacks bursting in her mind like fireworks. Each one seeming more and more realistic than the last and she was powerless to stop it. That's the difference between dreams and reality. Dreams, good or bad, take the images from the mind and intensify them to where the pain is unbearable. That was what Serena was experiencing and she was desperate for something to subsidise her pain. 

The gun went off and the glass shattered. Serena cried out and her eyes snapped open. Her heart was in her mouth, she had woken up in a cold sweat and hyperventilating, gasping like a fish out of water. Her eyes darted widely around the room, just to reassure herself she was safe in her bed. But then, something struck her- a thought that paralysed her with fear.

She was alone. 

She felt the panic rise up in her throat, and her fear began to escape from her in loud sobs. Bernie had broken her promise and left her. As her despair grew, so did her crying.

'Bernie...' she.sobbed over and over again, until her crying became hysterical.   
'Hey, Serena, its okay.' Bernie ran into the room, carrying somethings in her hands. As soon as Serena saw her, her sobs became uncontrollable, as she realised that Bernie hadn't left her. 

Bernie did the only thing she could think of and wrapped.one of her arms around the.brunette.   
'Bernie...' Serena sobbed, her vice like grip on Bernie's arms.   
I'm here now. Its okay.'  
'You werent here when I woke up.'  
'I had.to go and get the bandage.'  
'Your arm Serena.'

Between sobs, Serena.glanced down at her arm. There were bitemarks so.deep, they'd bled.  
'Here, let me clean it for you.'  
Serena watched with unblinking eyes as Bernie cleaned her arm and bandaged it up.  
'You have been in the wars Serena Campbell. If I didn't know you any better, I'd think this was you trying to.worm your way out.of. the household responsibilities.'  
A small chuckle,   
'That transparent am I?'  
'In your dreams maybe.'

Bernie realised she'd said the.wrong thing when Serena burst into tears, her grip on Bernie's arm so hard, she would leave indentations there in.the morning.  
'W...What is wrong with me?'  
'You're traumatised Serena,'  
'Help me Bernie, please.'  
'Serena,.oh my darling Serena, of course I will. I would do anything for you.'

Serena's sobs began to subside, and safe in Bernie's arms she gradually began to calm down. Despite every thing and the dawn beginning to break outside, they both fell asleep, cocooned in each other.


	97. Flashback

Bernie woke up first, her arms wrapped tightly around Serena. Serena seemed to have calmed down now, and in her sleep she looked less troubled and haunted. Looking at her, Bernie was hit with the overwhelming love for the brunette that was she was cradling in her arms.

How she would do anything for her- anything to show her how much she loved her, how much she wanted to stop her pain and protect her from harm. 

Then it hit her- she'd done exactly the opposite.

She was supposed to love Serena unconditionally and protect her. She was her wife after all, but she'd failed in that duty. Serena had always been there for her through everything- and what had she done at the first sign of trouble- she'd left.Serena to fend for herself. 

She was a failure- Serena didn't deserve her. Why had she failed to protect her? Why? Honestly- Bernie didn't know, but she was so ashamed that she hadn't protected Serena. She felt the tears well up in her eyes, and she buried her face, silently letting the tears fall.

*********************************************

At that exact moment, Serena opened her eyes. She'd managed a few hours sleep with no nightmares. Being in Bernie's arms had eradicated any fear she'd had last night. It was the only place that she could trust at the moment- the only place that she knew she belonged.

After everything that had happened yesterday, Serena knew that life was far too short. You don't know how long you have, so you have to make the most of every single second. Serena didn't want to spend a single moment away from Bernie- she'd barely survived the first time, she knew she couldn't do it again.

Rolling over onto her back gently, she let her head move the whole 180 so she could absent mindedly stare at her wife. But, she saw Bernie's face buried in the pillow, her whole body tense and taut. 

'Bernie...' Serena reached out a hand to caress Bernie's cheek, but Bernie shuddered away from the contact.   
'Don't Serena.'  
'What's wrong? Did I do something?'  
'You haven't done anything. Its me, I'm useless and a failure.'  
'Useless? Failure? Why would you even think that? You're the most amazing woman I know.'  
'I would think that, because it's true. I'm a useless failure.'

Serena grabbed Bernie by the hand, pulling her away from the pillow. They were sat facing each other, and Serena could see that Bernie was in tears.   
'Talk to me. What's wrong?'  
'It's obvious.'  
'What's obvious?'  
'I let you down Serena, thats what.'

'I don't understand.' Serena was genuinely baffled as to why Bernie would think that.  
'I am supposed to protect you Serena. I wasn't there for you yesterday. You got shot for crying out loud. I'm supposed to stop you getting hurt, not be a contributing factor. I'm a useless failure.'  
'Bernie what happened is no ones fault. It was scary yes, but it most definitely was not your fault.'  
'Serena, you should hate me.'  
'How could you ever think that? I love you.'  
'But you should, I failed you.

Serena took her hand in Bernie's. Bernie noted that Serena's hand was tremoring slightly. She was still wounded. 

'Bernie, I could never hate you. Right now, you're the only one who can keep me safe. The only one who can keep the nightmares away. I can't get back to where I was without you. I barely managed the first time we were apart, I can't do it again. Please Bernie, I don't hate you. I love you, I need you. Dont leave me.'  
'I will never leave you, I promise. Shall we go downstairs and get some lunch?'

**********************************************

Bernie had to help Serena get down the stairs and eat. She was still a nervous wreck after what had happened- she was too afraid to be left alone for a minute. The two of them were lying on the sofa, Serena on top, unable to relax. 

BANG!!!

Next door closed the lid of their bin and Serena leapt off the sofa. Sinking to the floor, she began to cry, begging invisible men with guns, not too shoot her.

Bernie had been understandably alarmed when Serena shot off the sofa. She froze for a millisecond, before watching Serena plead with something only she could see to shoot her. Bernie got off the sofa and rubbed Serena's arm gently, trying to bring her out of the flashback. 

After a minute, Serena realised she wasn't in the ward at gunpoint, she was at home. Peering around widely, she took in her surroundings and saw Bernie looking at her with wide unblinking eyes.   
'I'm sorry...' she choked out, before running into the bathroom and locking the door.

'Serena....' Bernie followed her, but it wasn't good enough as Serena put up the barrier between them. She could hear the sobs coming from the other side of the door. Instinct kicking in, she sat on the floor and began to speak.

'Serena, its okay. It's not going to be easy, but we'll get through this. I can't pretend to know exactly what you're going through, but I have flashbacks and nightmares to my time in the army. They are still scary. Serena, I wish I could make it better but over time it will get easier.'  
'Bernie, I'm scared of my own shadow at the moment. Even though, I know they wont hurt me.'  
'The anxiety and fear will fade over time Serena.'  
'They do now, but only when I'm in your arms Bernie. You keep me safe and in myself. Every time I close my eyes I'm back there. I hear the gun and the glass. Except when I'm in your arms. I'm safe and everything is okay.'  
'My arms are right here for you Serena. Please , open the door.'

Bernie waited for a moment. Nothing.  
'Serena, you can do this. Please let me in.'

The lock was pulled back and Bernie pushed the door open with her hand. Serena came out and then dropped to the floor beside Bernie. Bernie opened her arms and Serena fell into them. She burrowed herself into Bernie, sobbing her heart out.

'It's okay. I'm here, I've got you. We'll get through this, I promise.'


	98. Heartbroken and Haunted

The once salmon and purple sky transformed into a vast expanse of jet-black that engulfed the town. A canopy of luminous stars materialised against the ocean of blackness. The stars made twisted and warped shapes that the stars made against the blackness. The milky speckles twirled and danced along the sky in various patterns, tugging at the corners of Bernie's lips in a way that almost made her smile. 

It was hard to shove aside the worries corrupting her mind, but eventually Bernie just stopped thinking. Bernie stared up at the sky and studied the silver glow of the moon. She smiled down at her love so intense it warmed Bernie's soul like a fire on a cold winters night.

She was outside, having a cigarette, and a moment to herself. The look that the moon gave her didn't cause the storm to go from inside of her. What it did was reinforce her love for the woman in the bed upstairs. A hot fire flickered in her heart and it started to grow, eating up all of Bernie's worries in its path. Her anxieties burned away, and all the tears that were starting to form in the corners of her eyes melted down her face with a rush of relief. 

Crying felt good, especially when they weren't tears of sadness. They were tears of relief, freedom, love and happiness, streaming away the pain she'd bottled up all day at having nearly lost the woman she loved. Bernie wasn't normally one for tears, but in that moment, under the protection of millions of stars and the beautiful moon, she felt like she could let the floodgates open with a single snap of her fingersn 

'Bernie! Bernie!' the screaming from inside the house interrupted the tranquillity and serenity of the moment. Bernie dropped the cigarette, like it had been burnt by the ever-growing fire inside of her, and ran back towards the.house. Instinct told her that Serena was having another flashback and she wanted to be there when she woke up. 

It was too late though. As she burst through the door, she saw the bed was empty. Serena was huddled on the floor rocking forwards and backwards.   
'Serena, its okay.'  
'It's not. You lied to me. You broke your promise.'  
'What?'  
'You said you would never leave me. And then you do.'  
'I was outside that's all.'  
'But you lied to me.'  
'Oh you're a fine one to talk about lying Serena Campbell'

The second the words left Bernie's mouth, she regretted then. But it was too late- the damage was already done. Serena recoiled in horror, as if Bernie had suddenly sprouted fangs and wings. 

'Serena...I'm sorry...I didn't mean that.'  
'You wouldn't have said it otherwise would you?'  
'Serena...I'm sorry...you just angered me.'  
'You're still angry with me Bernie. That much is obvious. You can't seem to let it go.'  
'I'm not, I promise.'  
'Bernie, I'm tired. Tired.of fighting, tired of the arguments, tired of raking over the same ground over and over again. Maybe we need...'  
'Need what? I thought you couldn't cope without me.'  
'I don't think I can. Maybe you should go in the spare room tonight. I don't want to do this now.'  
'Serena...'  
'Bernie..please.'

Crestfallen, Bernie got up and walked away, out of the room. How had they got to this? Was she still angry? No she wasn't. She was just hurt that Serena had thought she was leaving her, after everything, she just didn't get it, did she?

She went into the spare room and got into bed. Next door, Serena was huddled under the duvet. They both pulled the duvet up over their heads. Heartbroken and haunted by the harshness of their words they both began to cry silent tears. 

**********************************************

The bedroom door opened and a tear stained face.appeared around it.   
'Bernie? she whispered into the uncomfortable envelope of blackness. 

No answer. She hadn't really expected one- it was 2:45am. Serena couldn't sleep, her words swimming around in.her mind far more than the.flashbacks. She needed Bernie, she was nothing without her. 

She went over to the bed and took note of the blonde, curled up in the foetal position under the duvet. Serena was hit by how much she loved her- Bernie was her oxygen, her very reason for breathing. She got into the bed quietly, and was about to move nearer when it happened. 

The pair of arms reached over and pulled her close, before settling around Serena's waist.  
'I love you, never forget that.'   
'I know. And you have to know I love you too.'  
Bernie kissed the.top of Serena's head, before the two of them fell.asleep, drawing strength from each other.


	99. Ironing Out

Morning came to the two of them quicker than they would have liked. They were peaceful while they were asleep- and when they woke up they would have to iron out the creases from last night. Rake over the same ground- but it had to be done.

Serena woke up first. The birds were chirping outside and the sunshine was streaming in through the open curtains. Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair and just stared at the.blonde lying next to her. Bernie looked so peaceful this morning- her neck elongated on the pillow and her lovely, curly blonde locks falling all over the pillow in their usual messy and tousled way. 

'Stop staring at me Miss Campbell.'  
'I wouldn't say I was staring Ms Wolfe.'  
Bernie opened her eyes, and propped herself up on one arm.  
'Okay, so what would you call it?'  
'Admiring, appreciating, how long do you have?'  
'For you, forever. All the time in the world.'  
'Bernie, about last night...'

Serena was cut short as Bernie raised a finger to her lips.   
'Let's not do this now. Please.'  
'Well when then?'  
'We will talk when we go downstairs. For now, I just want to stay here, frozen in this moment with you.'  
'I love you.'  
'I love you too.'

Serena moved closer to Bernie and rested her head on her wife's shoulder. Saying nothing, they let the silence say all it needed to.

*********************************************

Forty-five minutes later, the two of them were sat downstairs. Serena knew they had to have this conversation- they wouldn't be happy until they got every thing off their chests.

After several false starts, Bernie took the initiative, sensing Serena's hesitation, she enveloped Serena's hands in her own, squeezing them gently.  
'Whatever you want to say, I'm here to listen. Please talk to me Serena.'  
'Last night...what happened?'  
'We had a row, every couple has them.'  
'But we don't have rows like that. We both said things we shouldn't have. I woke up and you weren't beside me. I just freaked. I shouldn't have called you a liar Bernie. Talk about hypocrisy.'  
'You are not a hypocrite. You're still scared about what happened, and that is fine. I get it. What I said about you and your mum...It's...well it's unforgivable.'  
'Bernie, I'd forgive you anything, I love you.'  
'I love you too. I'm so sorry for what I said.'  
'Not as sorry as me. I'm such an idiot.'  
'That you are, but you're my idiot and I wouldn't have you any other way.'

 

Serena threw her arm around Bernie, before pulling back. She'd hit her sling and the pain ricocheted up her arm, making her grimace.  
'Are you okay?'  
'Yeah, just forget I can't use my arm at the moment.'  
'You'll be able to take it off in a couple of days.'  
'I know...'

Bernie sensed Serena was trying to work up the courage to say something.  
'What is it?'  
'I...uh..'  
'Serena, there is nothing you can't talk to me about.'  
'Do you still harbour anger towards me for what I did to my mum? And I need you to be.honest with me.'  
'I am always honest with you. And no- the reason I was so upset was because you had kept it a secret from me. But now I know why. Serena I honestly don't feel.anything but love for you.'  
'And you wont ever leave me? Because that is the most frightening thing that could ever happen to me. It would be worst than dying. Being without you for a minute is more than I.can handle.'  
'I promise I will never leave your side until you order me away.'  
'In work I know we have to be apart. But out of work, you mean that?'  
'With every breath and fibre in my being. Trust me Serena. We're fierce, forceful and forever.'

Serena hadn't heard those words in a long time.   
'What?'  
'Fierce, forceful and forever. That's what we are and what we will.always be.'  
'One more thing Bernie'  
'What?'  
'We are and always will be Berena.'

Serena grinned at Serena and enclosed her in a hug. Every thing would be okay. Berena was strong enough.to handle anything.


	100. Got You

The rest of the afternoon passed by with no major complications. Bernie and Serena had spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa, talking softly to each other with the TV playing in the background. The atmosphere was calm and relaxed- Bernie had felt Serena relax in the living room- she was feeling better- and that's all Bernie wanted.

Serena had a very relaxed afternoon, curled up with her wife. She was feeling more like herself; all the stress and anxieties had alleviated over the afternoon. Right now, here in Bernie's arms, Serena was safe and she knew she always would be. She wanted to put the events of the last few days behind her, and get on with her life. She even felt ready to.go back to work. Bernie would be there and she knew she couldn't stay away forever. She had to face it head on.

Playing with the material of Bernie's white blouse, Serena tried to broach the subject.  
'Bernie. I was thinking...'  
'Break the habit of a lifetime then Serena?'  
'Hey!'  
'Just kidding. You were thinking?'  
'Well, I think im ready...'

BANG!  
Jason slammed the door shut behind him, and Serena jumped.  
'Auntie Serena? Auntie Bernie?'  
'In the living room Jason.'

Jason walked into the living room, with his backpack still on.his back. He was carrying a book in.his arms. Serena and Bernie could instantly see that something was wrong. His demeanour was tense and he was clearly struggling to comprehend the enormity of whatever was passing through his mind.

'Jason, what is it?'  
'Alan. He's moving to Wisconsin in America.'  
'What? Why?'  
'He has a new job. He leaves tomorrow and I don't have any time to adjust my schedule. My routine will fall to bits- I won't have Alan in it, now I cannot count every day. Nothing will be the same anymore.'  
'Jason, it's okay. We will sort something out. I promise, everything will be okay.'  
'Auntie Serena, how can you possibly make a promise when its not true. Everything will not be okay. Alan is moving away. My routine and schedule will change, and I like things as they are.'

Jason was getting more and more vexed and wound up. Every so often he had what Serena had dubbed a 'meltdown' if things were getting on top of him. When he was in mindset, there was little that could be done; except giving reassurances and waiting for him to 'ride it out'

'Jason, everything will be okay. I promise.'  
'Auntie Serena! You shouldn't make promises. Everybody breaks them. Alan promised he would always be there for me, but he lied to me.'  
'Jason, I know it won't be the same love, but we will make sure you're okay.'  
'It won't be the same Auntie Serena! Don't you ever use your brain?'

Jason threw the book onto the glass table next to the sofa and it broke. As the.glass shattered, Serena was transported back to the ward. The glass of the window shattering in front of her. She screamed and ran away to the bathroom. 

'Auntie Serena?'  
'Jason, it's okay! I've got this.'  
'What's happening to her?'  
'She's okay, I promise. Will you.give us a moment?'  
'Okay'

As soon as Jason left the room, Bernie went over to the door and put her hand to the wood.  
'Serena....'  
'Don't shoot me! Please don't shoot me!'

Bernie stood the other side of the door, powerless to do anything. Serena's sobs were heart breaking, but what could she do?

Deciding in that second, Bernie kicked the door open. Serena needed her. And need her she did. She was huddled in the middle of the floor, rocking forwards and backwards, crying uncontrollably. Bernie went and sat by her on the floor and wrapped her arms around her.

'It's okay. I'm here now. I've got you.'


	101. Goodbye

'It's okay. I'm here now. I've got you.'  
Bernie cradled Serena in her arms, bringing her back to reality. Serena stopped rocking forwards and backwards and sat rigidly, crying all the tears that had welled up in her eyes.  
'I...I...I'm sorry Bernie. I don't know how to stop them.' Serena choked out, in between sobs. Bernie tightened her grip around Serena's arms, pulling her on to her lap. 

'Serena, listen to me. This isn't something that will go away overnight. It will get easier over time. Listen to someone who knows. I've been where you are- the nightmares and flashbacks will go away. Just give yourself time. I'll be here with you every step of the way. You won't be on your own. I'm with you forever.'

Serena hugged Bernie as close as she could, her tears dropping onto Bernie's blouse. Her words were so touching- she really was speechless. Bernie kissed Serena on the cheek, running a hand through her hair.   
'Thank you.'  
'You have nothing to thank me for. I'd do anything for you, you know that.'  
'I know.'  
'This moment is lovely. But if we don't get up off the bathroom floor, my back will start playing up again.'  
'I could give you a massage to ease your pain.' Serena teased knowingly, getting off Bernie.   
'Oh, I bet you could, and as much as I would love that, I have to go and see to Jason.' Bernie got up off the floor and groaned as she.got up.   
'Getting old Major.'  
'Put a sock in it Campbell or I might tickle you to death.'Serena grinned mischeviously and put her hand in Bernie's " I scared Jason witless I bet. I need to sort myself out"  
"He will be fine Serena. He's more resilient than we think "  
"Okay I hope he's okay"  
" with time he will be fine.

Bernie lead Serena out of the bathroom and then the door opened.  
"Auntie Bernie?"  
"It's alright Jason. Everything is okay now."  
"That's good because I have something to tell you both"  
"What?"

Jason came into the room and sat in his armchair Bernie and Serena sat opposite on the sofa, still holding hands.  
"What is it Jason?"  
"Alan just rang me. I left before he could tell me the whole story. He is going to Wisconsin still. He's asked me to go with him and I have said yes",

Serena looked at Bernie and was glad to see she was mirroring her expression of complete shock."Wow Jason are you completely sure of this?"  
"Yes. You have Auntie Serena and are very happy. You both have each other and Alan has no one and I would like to go with him please don't hate me Auntie Bernie"

Bernie leapt off the sofa and wrapped an arm around Jason.  
"Jason I. We could never hate you we. We love you. You must do whatever will make you happy. If this is what you want to do then we will support you right Serena"  
"U right. Jason, I love you. You're my nephew if being in America with Alan is what you want then of course we will support you. Is Alan sure about you going?

"Yes, otherwise he wouldn't have suggested it Auntie Serena. Do engage your brain before you ask your silly questions. I must admit, I will miss that about you. I have to go and pack. Alan will be here in (glancing at his watch)18minutes"

Jason walked out of the room going to pack. Serena stared after him,rooted to the spot.  
"Are you okay?" Bernie was at her side squeezing her shoulder gently.  
"Yes just a little shocked that's all. I don't want him to go."  
Bernie slipped her arm around Serena's shoulder.  
"I don't either Serena, but it's what he wants.  
"I know and I wouldn't stand in his way. I'll miss him"  
"And I will too. But we will be okay"  
"I know I will be in time I have you."  
"We have each other."

Serena rested her head on Bernie's shoulder and they leaned back on the sofa.  
"What were you going to say earlier"  
"About what?"  
'You said you were ready'  
'That...well I thought I was ready to go back to work.'  
'Serena....'  
'Bernie, I cannot spend.the rest of my days hiding away. I need to go back to normal and going back to work is the first step.'  
'I don't know...'  
'I will take it easy I swear. I can't do much anyway with my arm in this. I just think being there will help me move on. Because that's all I want. The future with you.'  
'Well I'm going nowhere, ever.'  
'I know.'  
'Okay, but you take it easy tomorrow. And if you're struggling you come to me,understand?'  
'Okay.'

Bernie and Serena stayed cuddled on the sofa, until a car horn sounded. Jason appeared at the bottom of the stairs. They went over to him.

'All packed?'  
'Yes Auntie Bernie.'  
'I'm going to miss you Jason.'  
'As am I Auntie Bernie. You will look after Auntie Serena won't you?'  
'You know I will, with my life.'  
Bernie threw her arma around Jason, and they both hugged each other.

Pulling away, Bernie moved to let Serena say her goodbyes.  
'Jason... what can I say? I love you like my own son. I'll miss you Jason. More than you know.'  
'Auntie Serena...I will miss everything about you. But I know you will be fine because you have Auntie Bernie. She loves you as much as you love her. Now can we hug please?'

Serena let out a sob and launched herself at Jason. She hugged him so hard- never wanting the moment to end. But it did. Jason moved away, picked up his bags and went out the door.

Serena and Bernie watched him load his bags into the boot, before he turned to give them one last wave. Then he got into the car and they were.gone. Serena and Bernie clung.to each other, holding hands and their hearts breaking. They knew it was what Jason wanted, but he was their boy. He always would be, wherever in the world he was.


	102. Meltdown

Bernie took the keys out of the ignition and sat for a moment staring at the brunette next to her. She'd been fairly quiet since Jason left yesterday. He'd phoned last night before he left the country for good. Serena had spoken to him and then said barely two words for the rest of the evening. 

Bernie had thought she wanted some space, but as soon as they had gone to bed Serena had taken up her favourite position of late, with her head on Bernie's chest. They'd snuggled together- not needing to say anything as the silence between them was so charged up with emotions, before drifting off together into a dreamless sleep. They'd both slept through the entire night- for the first time in over a week. No crying themselves to sleep after their row, or clinging on in case of nightmares. Just two people very much in love sleeping soundly in the silence that were drawing strength from each other. 

This morning had seen had a different Serena than the one from previous mornings. No tears, no fear- well none that she was trying to let show. Bernie had noticed she'd not said very much but she was walking around taller- so felt Bernie felt confident that she would be fine. The drive to the hospital had been silent, with Bernie concentrating on the.road and Serena immersed in her thoughts. 

Bernie reached over and covered Serenas hand with her own.   
'You okay?'  
'Yeah, just thinking about Jason. I'm missing him like mad.'  
'I know I am too. Now, are you sure you want to be here?'  
'Yes I'm fine. I appreciate the worry but there is no need.'  
'I'll always worry you. I can't help it Serena.'  
'I know, now come on, let's go or we'll be late.'  
'We're in charge Serena. One of the perks that comes with the job is being allowed a little indulgence.'  
'Oh, is that what we're calling it now?'  
'Shut up...you know you love it.'

Bernie grinned at Serena and leaned over to kiss her, taking care not to knock her bandaged arm. Serena responded, hooking her arm around Bernie's neck. The two of them embraced in front of the hospital, before slipping out of the car and into the lift unnoticed and as always, hand in hand. 

**********************************************

Most of the morning passed by with nothing to write home about. Fletch was rather quiet and reserved, but Serena knew why that was. They were both determined not to be beaten by their fear and return to normal as soon as possible. 

Bernie had taken charge of the ward, with Serena in the office clearing the mound of paperwork. But then a trauma patient had been brought up from the ED.  
'Serena, I've got to go to theatre with Raf. Can you keep an eye on the ward until I get back?'  
'Of course. Bernie, I'll be fine.'  
'Are you sure?'  
'Bernie, go and do what you do best. I'll be fine.'  
'Okay...love you.'  
'Love you more.'  
'I doubt that.' Bernie squeezed Serena's and went to get scrubbed for theatre.'

**********************************************

The operation went on for longer than Bernie had anticipated. All her skills were put to the test, as she battled to save the patient's life. If only Serena was here- they knew how each other operated better than any one else. 

Serena, meanwhile, was managing on the ward. Until she heard shouting between two men. Suddenly, she was back with the shouting and the gun. The gun...  
'No, no. You are not going to let this beat you. Pull yourself together Campbell. Snap out of it.'

She ventured onto the ward and saw two men shouting at each other with Morven trying to intervene.  
'Difficult relatives...today of all days' Fletch was at her side.  
'I know. What I wouldn't give for a calm shift.'  
'This is AAU. Calmness is gold dust.'

Serena smiled and was about to reply, when Morven turned around, looking lost. Serena went over to try and help. One man pushed the other, who swore back and pushed him harder.   
'Security!' Morven shouted, but it was too late. The man was sent tumbling to the floor, tripping over a trolley. The drawers of the trolley came crashing to the floor.

BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!

Serena stood rooted to the spot- tears rushing down her face.  
'Don't shoot me!' she shouted over and over again, until Morven swam into view, with nothing but concern in her eyes. Security were dealing with the brawling brothers, and the whole of AAU, staff and patient's, had been watching Serena have her ''meltdown''

She gave a terrified look and ran off in tears. Fletch went after her, knowing what she was going through. He followed her to the on-call room, but he wasn't quick enough as Serena bolted herself in. 

'Serena...' Fletch knocked at the door.  
'Bernie! I want Bernie!' came the sobs from the other side of the door. Serena collapsed on the floor terrified, with only her thoughts and flashbacks for company.


	103. Always Come Back

Bernie pushed open the doors to AAU, drained and tired. After all that time in theatre, she’d been unable to save her patient. Bernie knew that she couldn’t save everyone, but it didn’t make it any easier. It almost felt like she’d failed in a way. 

Glancing around the ward, she looked for Serena, but she couldn't see her anywhere. Bernie was about to go into the office, when Morven came hurrying over to her, her face full of concern and worry. 

‘Morven?’  
‘Ms Wolfe…’  
‘What is it? What’s wrong?’  
‘An incident occurred when you were in theatre.’  
‘What kind of incident?’  
‘The brothers of Mrs Jarvis were having a disagreement. Things got heated, so Miss Campbell came over, but then things got violent. There was some pushing, and one of the brothers fell over a trolley. The drawers fell out and then Miss Campbell... I don’t know what happened; she started shouting at someone not to shoot her. And then after a few minutes she stopped and ran out in tears.’  
‘Where is she Morven?’  
‘I don’t know. Fletch ran after her. I would have gone, but I’m the only doctor on the ward.’  
‘It’s okay Morven. Raf is on his way back from theatre, will you be okay until I get back? My pager is on.’  
‘We will manage. Miss Campbell is far more important.’

Bernie shot Morven a grateful smile and turned on her heels to go and look for Serena. Where could she be? The truth was, in her state, she could be anywhere. Bernie didn’t have the first clue where to start looking for, when her phone beeped in her pocket. 

Fletch- ‘Come to the on call room. Serena needs you.’ 

***************************

Serena had collapsed to the floor, crying out for Bernie. She was the only one she trusted enough to help her through this. Just when she thought she was getting better, something happened to take her back to the ward. Bernie said the flashbacks would fade over time. Right now, Serena didn’t think they’d ever stop- she couldn’t see a way out of this dark place in which she kept finding herself. 

‘Serena, it’s okay to be like this. I keep going there in my head; you’re not the only one to get flashbacks.’  
‘Bernie. I want Bernie. I need her…’  
‘Serena, please just open the door.’  
‘No Fletch, where’s Bernie? I need her?’  
‘Serena, its only me. I won’t hurt you. Open the door.’  
‘No! I want Bernie!’

‘Serena! It’s alright, in here!’ Bernie’s urgent voice came through the door.   
‘Bernie…oh Bernie, you’re here.’  
‘Of course I am, where else would I be?’  
‘I can’t make it stop. I thought I was strong, but I’m not. I can’t make it stop. Bernie…’  
‘It’s alright I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’  
‘Help me please....’  
‘Oh Serena. Of course I’ll help you. Can you do one thing for me?’  
‘What?’  
‘Open the door for me.’

‘Look, I’ll get back to the ward and leave you too it. Seems you have it under control Bernie.’  
‘Thanks Fletch, for the message and everything.’  
‘Fletch… I’m sorry…’ choked out Serena from behind the door.  
‘It’s alright Serena. No need to apologise.’

Fletch turned and walked away after giving Bernie’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Bernie stood for a moment, waiting for Serena to open the door. She shouldn’t have left her- yet again shed failed her and let her down. 

‘Serena?’  
‘Bernie... you’re still here’  
‘Of course I am, where else would I be? Serena, please open the door.’  
‘Okay.’

Serena slowly pulled the bolt back and opened the door. Bernie came in and closed the door behind her. Serena burst into tears and fell back to the floor. Bernie sank down beside her and wrapped her arms around her. 

‘I’m here now. I’m so sorry Serena.’  
‘What are you apologising for?’  
‘I should have been here with you. ‘  
‘Bernie, this is my fault. Because I’m too weak to close off the flashbacks, I can’t stop them.’  
‘You’re not weak. Serena, you’re the strongest person I know. It’s only been three days- it just takes time.’  
‘I…I…I don’t think I’m ready to be here.’  
‘Back where?’  
‘Here, on the ward. I think I need to take some more time off.’  
‘Are you sure?’  
‘Yes. I don’t want to scare the patients, I’m not myself. I don’t want to, but it’s what I need.’  
‘Okay, I’ll go and square it with Hanssen right now.’  
‘Don’t leave me!’  
‘I won’t be long I promise. Lock the door and I’ll be back.’  
‘Bernie....’  
‘Serena, when have I not come back for you?’  
‘Never, but there is a first time for everything.’

‘Serena Campbell, listen to me. I will always come back for you. You know I would do anything, be anything for you. If I could swap places with you I would. Its breaking my heart to see you like this. I’ll go to Hanssen, and I’ll be straight back. I always come back, okay?’  
‘Okay.’  
‘I love you’  
‘Love you more’  
‘I doubt that.’

Bernie gave Serena a quick kiss, before leaving the on call room. Serena locked the door after her, and sank back to the floor, hugging her knees with her free arm. 

****************************

‘Serena?’  
Just over half an hour had passed, and Serena had been counting the minutes since Bernie had gone. But now she was back. The door opened immediately, and Bernie walked in.   
‘You’re back.’  
‘I said I would be didn’t I? I always come back for you. We’ve both got extended gardening leave.’  
‘Both?’  
‘You didn’t think I’d let you go through this alone did you?’

Serena threw her arms around Bernie, tears in her eyes. After a minute, Bernie pulled back and offered her hand to Serena.  
‘Come on, let’s go home.’


	104. Heart to Heart

Elinor drew up outside the house and got out of the car. She'd heard about what had happened at the hospital and was desperate to see her Mum. She had spoken to Bernie on the phone but she needed peace of mind about her mum.

Knocking at the door, she ran a hand through her brown locks thinking about what she'd do without her Mum. So many times over the last few months she'd almost lost her, and it wasn't a pain she was ready to experience full or first hand. 

'Ellie..' Bernie answered the door and Ellie immediately noticed how tired she looked.  
'Hi Bernie. Is my mum in?'  
'Come in a minute. Yeah she is, but she's sleeping.'  
'Is she okay?'  
'She's a tough woman your mother. She'll be fine, in time.'

Elinor pushed open the living room door and popped her head round. Her mum was curled up under the sofa under a blanket, fast asleep. Even asleep, her mum looked worn down and downtrodden. Ellie's heart melted as she watched the soft rise and fall of her mother's chest. Serena had been through so much in the last few days- being asleep only provided a temporary respite from the storm raging away inside of.her.

Elinor watched her mum for a while before sighing and going into the kitchen, where Bernie was leaning against the counter.  
'Are you alright Bernie?'  
'I'm fine, why do you ask?'  
'I'm just worried about you'  
'That's sweet Ellie, but I'm fine.'  
'No you're not. You're rubbish at lying. What's wrong?'  
'This is all my fault. All of it.'  
'Why do you ask?'

Bernie ran a hand through her hair, sighing- trying to keep her emotions in check.  
'Because I'm her wife Ellie- I should have protected her. I failed her, what kind of wife am I?'  
'The best kind'  
'What?'  
'Bernie, none of this is your fault. My mum most definitely doesn't blame you, I certainly don't. You're blaming yourself, and it's not fair. My mum knows how lucky she is to have you'  
'I'm the lucky one Ellie, believe me. I love her more than anything.'  
'I know that. She does as well.'

Elinor glanced at her watch.  
'I have to pick up Ruby from nursery. I.could bring her and Jade over one day. She's desperate to see you and Jason as well.'  
'Oh, didn't we tell you? Jason's gone to America to live with Alan.'  
'What?'  
'It was a shock, but it's what he wanted. I'm worried about how your Mum is taking it. I miss him loads. I can only imagine how she is.'  
'I know'  
'So, when should I bring the kids over?'

'I.don't think that's wise. Serena isn't herself at the moment- she's here one minute, and having a.flashback the next. I'm the only one she'll let near her Ellie. I think she needs to be stronger before she's up to visitors. What she needs is rest and quiet.'  
'I know. She's lucky have you. You'll tell her I called and give her my love?'  
'Of.course I will. I won't leave her side for a minute.'

Bernie and Elinor walked to the front door and Elinor suddenly threw her arms around Bernie, surprising her. Bernie hugged her back for a minute and then Elinor pulled her away.  
'Thank you.for always being here for her. You're a brilliant wife Bernie, never.doubt that. You'd do anything to make my mum happy. That's real love. Being there when everything isn't always hearts and.flowers.'  
'Thank you Ellie.'

Ellie squeezed Bernie's arm, before leaving. Bernie waved her off, before closing the door. She went.back into the living room and sat.on the floor by the sofa. She took Serena's hand with one of her hands and ran her other one through Serena's hair.

'I love you Serena Campbell. We'll get through this together'


	105. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning  
> Tales of abuse and harming.

The night was drawing nearer and the sky had become a merge of pink and orange. The sun was shifting position in the sky as its time drew short. The sun might have changed position, but she hadn't moved.

Bernie didn't know how long she'd been curled up on the floor watching Serena sleep. She knew that day was drawing to a close as the light began to diminish from the living room. Bernie hadn't moved since Elinor had left- she didn't want to leave Serena for a second. She had taken time off with her so they could deal with Serena's anxieties as a partnership, because that's what they were after all.

**********************************************

Serena began to stir. Elongating herself out from the foetal position in which she'd slept in, she opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Bernie's smiling face, peering at her through her tousled hair.

'Hey sleeping beauty.' Bernie leant down to kiss Serena on the forehead. As she pulled back afterwards, Bernie caught Serena staring at her.  
'What?'  
'I love waking up and your face being the first thing I see.'  
'It always will be. You're stuck with me.'  
'I'll get the glue'  
'For what?'  
'You said I was stuck with you.'  
'Oh..haha'

Serena returned Bernie's smile and moved over on.the sofa, offering half the blanket to Bernie. Bernie didn't need to be told twice- she.practically jumped on the sofa beside Serena. She pulled the.blanket over them both and moved closer to Serena. 

But that wasn't enough for Serena. She took the initiative and sat on Bernie's lap resting her head on Bernie's chest. For a moment they were frozen in time. Bernie automatically wound her arms around Serena,pulling her into herself more. This was the way Bernie loved to be with Serena protecting her from anything and everything with every fibre in her being. Serena let herself be pulled into Bernie's chest before burrowing as close as she could. She could hear Bernie's heart beating very loudly through her shirt, thumping with love she guessed rather like her own at the moment.

"How are you feeling?"  
"I'm okay"  
"Serena you don't have to pretend with me,you know that. Tell me what you're thinking and feeling"  
"Honestly,I'm feeling okay. I'm here with you Bernie, that makes me okay. I still can't believe that you got us both extended leave. I honestly don't know what to say"  
"Of course I got us both time off. I'm not letting you go through this yourself Serena. We're a partnership we share everything".

Bernie was met with a wall of silence,which unnerved her slightly. She sensed Serena's hesitation as she restrained a little.  
"Serena?"  
Silence  
"Serena,what is it?"  
Silence  
"Serena, you're scaring me now. Tell me what's wrong?  
"How can you say that?"  
"Say what?"  
"About us sharing everything?"  
"Because we do.

Serena pulled herself away from Bernie so fast there was a ripping noise as Bernie's shirt was torn a tiny bit. She looked at Serena,who was peering at her with wild popping eyeballs".  
"We don't. You know we door"  
"Don't what, Serena your not making any sense at all?"  
"Share everything. We don't...and you know we don't."  
"We don't?"  
Yes. We don't and you know it. I kept something to myself for all our relationship,and you're saying we're a partnership and we share everything"  
"Kept what?"  
"Bernie,don't play dumb you know what I mean"  
"Serena...is this about your mum?"

Serena looked at Bernie,who was looking at her,dumbfounded and confused.  
She really didn't have any idea what was eating at Serena.   
"Yes,yes.this is about my mum, Bernie. You say we're a partnership but you know I lied to you for years. How can you say that?"  
"Serena, you didn't lie to me,you just didn't tell me"  
"There's no difference".  
"There is Serena,believe me. Lying is when you intentionally set out to deceive someone. That's not what you did. You just couldn't bring yourself to tell me,because it's painful for you. You didn't mean to hurt me".  
"But I did Bernie. I hurt you badly and that scares me. I'm scared you'll never get over it and you'll leave me."  
"Serena, I will never leave you.  
"But you did before."  
"But I came back, just like I always come back. Even from the start. I came back from kiev for you. Serena. I promise I will never leave you. Yes you hurt me, but then I almost lost you and that was the worst pain i've ever felt Serena. I will never leave you- I can't function without you'  
'You promise?'  
'Serena, I promise'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie, and for a moment the two of them sat there embracing, finding strength from each other. After a moment of hugging, Serena pulled back knowing there was more that she had to say. 

'There are things I haven't told you Bernie'  
'About what?'  
'My mum...what she did to me...what I went through'  
'Serena, you don't have to tell me'  
'No...Bernie I need to. I have to'  
'Are you sure?'  
'It's okay, I'm sure'  
'Okay..'

Serena closed her eyes.for a moment, trying to.figure out where to start. Should she tell Bernie this? Would Bernie still feel the same about her afterwards? She.didn't know, but she knew she had to be brave and face the demons of her past. 

'I still remember the first time. I was three. The party, the music. My bedroom door was shut but I remember the.voices outside. My mum and a man. Then my.door opened. The smell.of.alcohol was suffocating as he.came in and sat on the edge of my bed. He touched my cheek and he raped me'

Serena looked over at Bernie, checking to see what emotions her face was registering. There was tears in her eyes which Serena hadn't expected. She reached out a hand, needing reassurance, and Bernie obliged immediately.

'Serena, I am so sorry'  
'Do you want to hear the rest?'  
'Only if.you want.to tell me Serena.'  
'I do Bernie.'  
'Okay'

'It went on.for three years. Whenever she threw a party she would let men..rape me. She prostituted her own daughter- and the worst.thing was she enjoyed it. The men, well they enjoyed it too. One frequent flyer liked.to play with lighters. Burn me I mean. Then school noticed my burns and they investigated. Then I was in care, and I never saw my mum again. 40 years went by and I had no desire to re open that part of my life, but then she turned up here. Her dementia...she didn't.remember any of.it'

'But you remembered Serena, why didn't you turn her away?'  
'Because she was still my mother. She was a broken woman and I swore I wouldn't Let her beat me. But caring.for her was hard- she bruised me mentally and physically. Well then you know what happened. So there you go...my mum pimped me out'  
'Serena, I...'  
'For most of my life, I blamed myself. I Thought it was my fault. That I was unlovable. Edward, Robbie, even Elinor at one point. I thought I was too.broken to ne fixed, but then you...'  
'Me?'  
'Bernie, I've never spoken about this to anyone. You're the first one I've told. I couldn't trust anyone else...does it...change how you feel about me?'

Bernie flushed her.lips against Serena's, kissing her urgently. After a minute, she pulled back.  
'Serena Campbell, nothing you say or do changes how I feel about you. I love you, I'm IN love with you. Thank you for trusting me with this Serena. I can't pretend to know what you've been through, but I.can imagine. Knowing you dealt with this on you're own breaks my heart, but it makes me determined to protect yours until my dying breath.'  
'I love you so much Bernie'  
'Love you more'  
'I doubt that'

Bernie smiled and wrapped her arms back around Serena. Serena had taken a risk with her confession, but it had done the trick and brought them closer together.

Happier times.were on the horizon- watch this.space.


	106. Telepathy

Bernie blushed furiously and Serena closed the gap between them, kissing her passionately. Bernie hooked her arms around Serena's neck, pulling her close and kissing back aggressively. As their tongues became entitled in their usual dance, the temperature rose between them. Bernie's hands slid further down Bernie's back, under her top when the alarm began to sound, blaring across the room. 

Serena pulled back, gasping for breath. She looked at Bernie and the two of them collapsed into a fit of giggles.   
'Saved by the bell'  
'You mean the alarm'  
'Haha very funny...'  
'My names Bugs Bunny'

Serena quelled Bernie with a look of contempt and Bernie burst out laughing.   
'Sorry...I couldn't resist. You walked right into that one'  
'Bernie Wolfe, you are in a playful mood this morning aren't you?'  
'You love me when I'm like this, so don't start that with me'  
'A bit cock sure of yourself aren't we?'  
'You wouldn't have me any other way Serena Campbell, and you know it'  
'Oh I know.do I?'  
'You bet you know. I can read you like a book, I always know what I'm thinking'  
'Okay...what am I thinking right now?'  
'How much in love you are with me and my telepathic abilities'

Serena returned Bernie's smile and wrapped her arms around her.  
'You.got that right in a heartbeat Ms Wolfe'  
'Heartbeat?'  
'That I was thinking.about how much I love you  
'See telepathy never fails'  
'I.wouldn't call it telepathy, more like true love'

Serena and Bernie stayed in their happy bubble for a few minutes, before Bernie tapped her bedside clock, insisting they get up now or they'd be late for the ward. Serena protested but she knew she couldn't be late, so begrudgingly, she let Bernie go and went to get ready for the day ahead.


	107. Retirement?

Bernie loved the trauma unit, she loved the family she had built up on AAU. But she hated paperwork and admin, and losing patients was never good. Could she actually see herself walking away and never working here again? Bernie knew nothing could remain as it.was forever, and while the hospital felt like home, Bernie knew it was the people she worked with that made it like that. And if she did leave, she'd be leaving the ward, not their lives. 

Retiring would mean more time spent watching Ruby, Toby, Jade and Arianna grow up. More time to be an influence and more time to be a grandma. 

And of.course- Serena. After everything she was all too.aware that they.couldn't live without each other. Serena was her top priority, she held her above everything else. Leaving this all behind would be hard, but they could both have a fresh start together.

A plan formulating in her mind, she quickly filled in.the notes regarding her operation before returning the browser to.it's original unopened condition. She logged out and pulled out her phone. 

What did she have in mind?


	108. Anniversary

The black sky gradually turned into a dim grey and the illumination of stars got languidly lusterless. Millions of stars in the ebony sky started hiding their brightness and began to dissipate, as if.someone had told them to go. Divergent birds were.gently flying in manifest sky and their dulcet dawn.chorus was easily audible.

The first orange hued rays appeared on the skyline, which went through the clouds and the prodigious sky was easily.visible. The sun.came out of its abode across the brilliant orange horizon and glimmered in the sky. The sparkling sun started slowly rising up the scarlet skyline, which clearly differentiated the sky and the land. The warm breeze.blew in from the west as the plants made a beatific smile towards the sun. 

The.outside world was waking up, but.for the two.people.cocooned around each other, they were still sailing away on the.sea of their dreams. Today was a special day for the.two of them.

**********************************************

Bernie woke up.from a peaceful slumber to glimpse at the glowing and radiant sun peaking above the horizon. It extended it's vivid light across the crimson sky. It's dazzling and inviting rays flowed through the window providing warmth to her.body.

Bernie propped herself up on one arm and gazed adoringly at her wife lying across from her.  
'Stop staring at me'  
'I'm not staring, I'm basking in your beauty'  
'Now now Ms Wolfe,.lying is punishable by tickling'  
'Alright, I was staring. It's what we do Serena, we stare at the other one when their asleep. It's the Berena Way'  
'It's the what?'  
'You heard me Miss Campbell, its the Berena Way'

Serena's eyes shot open and she rolled over to face Bernie. Smiling warmly, she interlocked her fingers with Bernie's free arm. They lay staring into each other's eyes for a moment. Their eyes moved them like the moon with the tide, and dance as old as time itself. The moment was so emotionally charged, until.Serena.blinked and it was over.

Serena leaned over and kissed Bernie deeply before pulling away.  
'Happy Anniversary'  
'Oh, anniversary is that today?'

Serena's face fell as she realised Bernie had forgotten. Crestfallen and heartbroken, she rolled away from Bernie. The silence was deafening for a moment, until a tissue landed in front of Serena.   
'What's this for?'

'I didn't have a white flag to wave, so I had to improvise, I'm sorry'  
'Sorry for what? The tissue or forgetting today?'

Bernie didn't say anything, instead reaching one hand under the bed, she pulled out a present and handed it to.Serena.  
'I was only teasing you, happy anniversary'  
'You didn't forget..?'  
'Of.course I didn't'

Serena opened her bedside cabinet and pulled out a rectangle present, putting it into her wife's hand.  
'You first. I want to see if you like it'  
'Bernie, when have I never liked a present you got me?'

Serena tore off the paper to reveal a box. She opened it and sat there.speechless. Bernie had brought her an eternity band, with the words BERENA FOREVER engraved upon the silver.   
'Bernie, its beautiful'  
'You like it?  
'I.absolutely love it. The engraving is so special. Thank you.'  
'You're very welcome. My turn now'

Bernie opened her present and sat staring at what was in the silver frame.  
'Serena...'  
'It's rubbish, compared to yours, its rubbish'  
'Nonsense, its perfect'

Bernie had been given a silver studded frame with a certificate inside. K579167 had officially been renamed. Berena. Bernie had completely forgotten about the star, and Serena's present had rendered her speechless. She threw her arms around Serena, crying into her.shoulder.

Happy Anniversary Berena.


	109. Christmas

Their anniversary came and went in a blink and then the festive season began,leaving the ward busier than ever,just as it always was at this time of year. Serena and Bernie were swamped trying to keep on top of the constant stream of patients coming through the doors.

Before they had time to breath, Christmas was upon them. They'd spent every Christmas and New Year together since they'd been a couple,but this year had been different schedules, both were working Christmas day Serena 8-6 and Bernie 12-6 and the Serena was working new years eve and Bernie new years day. They had been majorly disappointed.

Serena had spent most of her Christmas morning doing paperwork in the office. Bernie had still been asleep when she'd left that morning,so she'd left her present by her side and extracted herself smoothly. Serena knew in her heart that she needed to talk to Bernie about them packing this all in. Serena loved her job but she loved Bernie so much more, and all she wanted to do was to spend every single second of the rest of her life with her.

Glancing at the clock she smiled. 11.30am Bernie would be here soon and then everything would be alright again. This Christmas day had dragged by so fast the ward was unusually quiet,normally on Christmas day it was busy. She had been wanting the shift to go by quickly so she could see Bernie. This was not how she imagined spending her Christmas.

Bernie pushed opened the doors to AAU and immediately spied Serena in the office, looking lonely as she felt. She had spent the morning wishing time would go faster so she could be with the woman she loved

Bernie opened the door and Serena glanced up. When she saw Bernie stood in the doorway, she jumped up out of her chair and into the already extended arms her wife was offering. They clung to each other for a minute needing to be held. 

'Merry Christmas' Serena whispered  
'It is now'   
'You felt it too?  
'If you mean missing you beyond anything then yes. Merry Christmas Serena'  
'I love you so much'  
'Love you more'  
'I doubt that'

The two of them hugged even harder, when Raf appeared in the doorway.  
'Merry Christmas ladies'  
'Merry Christmas Raf. I have to go and get scrubbed up. Be back in a minute.'  
Bernie left the office after giving Serena's hands a quick squeeze.

'So..must be strange for you two today. Normally you're off at Christmas.'  
'It is strange yes, but now she's here it's okay. We hate being apart from each other'  
'You two really are joined at the hip. So, any plans for New Year?'  
'No, I'm working New Years eve and Bernie's on the day shift New Years Day. So we're apart. What about you?'  
'Oh I'm on the same as Bernie. The ward are going on a pub crawl but I can't, cause I'm in work the next day'  
'Swap with me?'  
'Shifts?  
'Yes, that way you can go on your pub crawl and I can be with Bernie.'  
'That's brilliant'

Serena hugged Raf and then he went to see some patients. Bernie walked in a moment later to see Serena smiling insanely.   
'What's made you happy?'  
'Raf and I swapped our shifts for New Year so I can be here with you. I don't want to start a new year apart. Oh, did you open your present?'

Bernie sat down at her desk and pulled out two presents. She threw one to Serena.   
'No I didn't. I wanted us to.do what we always do and.open them together.'

Serena obligingly opened up the present and opened it.to.reveal an envelope. Curious, she.opened it and two tickets fell out. Two tickets for a weekend in the Lake District.

Bernie.opened her present. It was a blanket sewn with over 300 photos of the two of them. Serena went to sleep every night with her heart pillow under her and now she thought they could both go to sleep with each other over them.

'This is special Bernie.'  
'I thought we could go.away on Valentines Day.'  
'Oh I'd love that'  
'And this.blanket. I absolutely love it.'  
'It's a Berena blanket'  
'God I love you Serena Campbell'  
'Love you more.  
'I doubt that'

Merry Christmas Berena.


	110. New Year

The week between Christmas and New Year passed by in.a blur- Serena could have blinked and she'd have missed it. Now it was New Years Eve and the two of them had enjoyed a day off.away.from the hustle and bustle of the ward. Jason had phoned earlier to wish then a happy new year. He was enjoying it out in Wisconsin but he made lots of comments about Alan's food not being as good as Serena's. Serena had laughed and promises to make him whatever he liked when he came to.visit in the summer.

Raf had worked earlier that day and was now enjoying the pub crawl with the rest of the ward. Bernie and Serena hadn't really fancied it- instead preferring to spend time with each other.

'I wish it was like this every day'  
'Me too Serena. I want to spend every second with you'  
'Do.you ever....?  
'Do I ever what?'  
'Nothing'  
'You can ask me anything you know that'  
'Do you ever think about just packing it all in? Like leaving it all behind?'  
'You mean retire?'

'What.do you think?'  
'Honestly, the thought hadn't crossed my mind. Why? Are you thinking its what you want?'  
'Only if you want to with me. I wouldn't do jt without you Bernie'  
'Well.I'll give it some thought I promise'  
'You.don't hate me.for suggesting it?'  
'I.could never hate you, you know that'

Serena snuggled further into Bernie, just as the.clock struck midnight.   
'Happy New Year Serena'  
'Happy New Year Bernie'  
'This year is going to be brilliant.'

Serena had no idea what Bernie was planning for this year. As the final chapter in this.story starts, 

Will they get their happily ever after?


	111. Valentines

The first six weeks of the year had passed by in a whirlwind. Serena could scarcely recall the festive season as the ward had been so busy since. So many trauma patients, which Bernie had dealt with as the consummate professional. At times, Serena wondered if Bernie had it in her to walk away from the ward, her trauma unit meant so much to her- could she walk away from all of this?

Serena didn't know if she.could force.Bernie to choose just because she wanted to leave. That wasn't fair on her. The fact that Bernie hadn't mentioned it since she'd brought it up reinforced in Serena's mind that Bernie wasn't ready to leave it all behind. 

But now wasn't the time for dwelling on work. It was Valentines Day and they were in the Lake District for the weekend. Sitting on the bank of the lake with the plaid blanket, Serena was the most relaxed shed ever been.

Bernie was at her side with a picnic basket. Dropping down to the floor, she draped her arm around Serena's shoulder. Serena rested her head on Bernie's shoulder and the two of them sat for a while watching the sunset. 

'Happy Valentine's Day Serena'  
'Happy Valentine's Bernie. This weekend has been amazing'  
'We needed the time away. I brought some food. Thought we could have a lakeside picnic.'  
'I would love that Bernie'

Bernie opened the basket to reveal the goodies inside. Coffees, pastries and chocolate covered strawberries- they were Serena's favourites and Bernie knew it. They devoured the picnic as the sun finished setting and the moon came out of hiding and smiled down at the two of them. 

'That was lovely'  
'I aim too please'  
'Oh I do, do I?'  
'In every way. I love you so much'  
'And I love you, more than anything'  
'This has been the best Valentines ever'  
'It's not over yet Serena'

Serena looked up at Bernie, confused as to what else she had up her sleeve.  
'You remember the conversation we had on New Years Eve?'  
'About us retiring?'  
'Yes'  
'Bernie, it's okay. I know you can't bring yourself to do it. I should never have asked you too. Just because it was what I wanted, doesn't mean you wanted it too. Asking you to walk away was too much. I understand.'  
'Oh, well that's a shame because...'

Bernie.reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an envelope- it wasn't.closed and it was addressed.to Hanssen. Confused and intrigued, Serena took the envelope and.took out the two.pieces of.paper. The heading at the.top of them both made her stop dead.

Notice of resignation.

'What...what is this?'  
'It's our.ticket out.of the hospital Serena. I've known for ages you wanted to retire. Our first day back after our leave, I had to borrow your computer and I saw you'd been looking into it. I started thinking about it, and I realised it was what I wanted to. I've known for months'  
'Why didn't you say anything?'  
'Because I wanted it to surprise you. Serena, everything I do is.for.you. And all I want to do is to spend every single minute of every single day with you for the rest of my life. So, what do you say?'

Serena threw herself at Bernie, planting kisses across her face, before drawing back.  
'Is that a yes?'  
'Of course its a yes' Serena threw herself at Bernie again, kissing her badly.

The two of them lay there for a while, the kisses deepening before Serena pulled back again. Grabbing Bernies hand, she scooped up the envelope and they ran inside to continue their 'celebrations'


	112. Breaking The News

The weekend had ended and it was now Monday morning. Bernie had sealed the envelope and they were.both walking down the corridor to Hanssen's office. They were set on their decision to resign, they just wanted do it quietly with no.fuss. 

Bernie took Serena's hand in hers, and knocked at the door. They would face this like everything else they had- together.   
'Come in'  
Bernie and Serena went into the office, and saw Hanssen sitting behind the desk. He nodded them in and they sat down at the chairs.  
'Ms Wolfe, Miss Campbell, to what do I.owe the pleasure?'  
'Um.. we have something we wish to discuss with you Mr Hanssen.'  
'Of course, please proceed Ms Wolfe.'  
'Well, me and Serena have come to a decision regarding our future. We feel that now is the right time after everything that has happened to us in the last couple of years. We would like to.officially hand in our resignations'  
'I see, and is this a decision to which you are both fully.committed?'  
'Yes Mr Hanssen. I have loved every second of my.time at this.hospital, and it will always feel like home, but.too much has happened in the last two years. Too much has changed. I would like to thank you for everything you have ever done for me. You are the best boss I could have ever asked.for'  
'I.would like to say I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here as well. Opening the trauma unit has been an amazing thing to have developed on this ward. I am hoping you will.keep it open even after I leave Mr Hanssen?'  
'I will not hesitate to adhere to.your request Ms Wolfe, and I.would like to make one myself'  
'Oh...'  
'The two of you will still drop by.occasionally to let us all know how you are getting on?'  
'Oh of course. We're leaving our jobs, not your lives Mr Hanssen. I will of course be stopping by.to check AAU hasn't slipped in our departure'  
'That is good news. I trust the two of you have written out your letters.'

Bernie reached into her pocket and handed the envelope to Mr Hanssen. He opened it and nodded as he scanned the letter.   
'Do the people of the hospital.know yet?'  
'No, that is the next bridge we have to cross.'  
'Well, officially I am very disappointed to be losing two of the finest surgeons I have ever come across. Unofficially, I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world'  
'Thank you Mr Hanssen'

**********************************************

Bernie and Serena felt like a weight had lifted off their shoulders as they walked into AAU. Their leaving date was in two weeks, after they had worked out their notice. Now all they had.to do.was to tell the three people who were like.family.to them. 

Serena asked them all to.come to the office when the ward was quiet, her wanting to tell them all sooner rather than later. As Raf closed the door, Bernie felt a lump rise in the back of her throat. She would miss these three so much. 

'Um...Bernie and I have some news'  
'You've set a date.for your vow renewal?'  
'No Fletch, not yet. We have been thinking about this for a.while and it wasn't an easy decision, but we have...handed in our resignations'  
'You're leaving?' Morven was shocked. That was the very last thing they had expected to come out.of Serena's mouth.   
'We wanted to tell you all face to face before you get the email from Hanssen.'  
'Hanssen knows?'  
'Well, yes, we had to hand them in this morning'  
'Can I ask why?'  
'OF.course Morven. We just feel that too much has happened. I love it here with all of.you. You've made my work a home, but we think it's okay now for us to go.'  
'Are you both set on this?  
'One.hundred percent Raf. We will miss you all, but we're leaving the ward, not.your lives. We will be expecting to hear all the gossip from you Fletch, as we won't be hear to hear it first hand.'  
'That is a promise Bernie. So, how much longer do we have you before we lose you?'  
'Two weeks. Let's make the most of it, and then we can slip away quietly. Okay?'  
'If that's what you want Serena'

Fletch and Raf left the office, while Morven hung back to hug them both.  
'If those two think their going out of here without a send.off, they don't know us very well.'  
'My thoughts exactly. We have two weeks to organise the biggest leaving party Albies has ever seen'  
'Be strange without them though right?'  
'Its the end of an era Fletch. But they seem certain, so I have to be happy.for them I.suppose'  
'I have a few.calls to make. A quiet send off is certainly not what they are getting'

It was offical. They'd handed in their notice, and there was no.going back now. However this story isn't finish quite yet. Theres a few more surprises and shocks in store before we close the.book.


	113. Family Time

The first of their last two weeks went by very quickly. Quicker than Serena and Bernie would have liked. They were really looking forward to leaving, but their time at the hospital had been amazing to say the least- they owed it everything- the hospital had given them each other. They would always look back and have fond memories, but now was the time to move on and focus on the future. Together.

Now, the only people that needed telling were their own family, and today was the day. It was Jade and Arianna's birthday, they were having a family get together at Bernie and Serena's. With all of the family under one roof, Bernie knew it was time to tell them that this time in a week they would have left the hospital permanently as surgeons.

**********************************************

The back garden had been transformed. They'd hired a bouncy castle for Toby and Ruby to play on, cleaned the swingset and even put balloons up around the fence. Bernie and Serena wanted it to be perfect.for when everyone.got here. They hadn't had all the family together in a long time, and they wanted it to be special. 

Charlotte and Arianna were the first to arrive, closely followed by Elinor and her girls. Ruby had thrown herself at Serena and Bernie the moment she'd seen them. Serena had scooped her up in her arms and hugged her so hard, while Bernie had embraced Elinor. 

'Oh Mum, the garden looks lovely. Hey Charlie.'  
'Hey Ellie, and I can see that these two have been spoilt this year. Mum, Serena, you really shouldn't have'  
'Yes, we should have Charlie. No arguments. They're our grandchildren. How could you think we would do anything other than spoil them?'  
'Mum, I've.told you before it doesn't matter. The things that.don't.cost anything- love, family, friendship that's what matters more'  
'Ellie, that is lovely of you to say. Family is what's important yes but we wanted.to spoil the.two of them anyway.'

Elinor smiled and was about to reply when they heard their last guests arriving. Cameron was the only man in the family and he was still always the last to arrive. He had definitely not inherited that from Bernie, who hated being late for anything. 

Serena and Bernie turned around to see Cameron, Chloe and Toby letting themselves in through the back gate. As soon as Toby saw Serena and Bernie, his mouth broke into a wide grin.   
'Nanna!' he.shouted out, with his arms outstretched he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him. Bernie and Serena picked him up and hugged him together- they were crying, it was the first time they'd heard him say Nanna and it meant a lot, just like it had been when Ruby had first said it. 

'My Nanny too Toby. I want a cuddle.' Ruby was clinging to Bernie's legs, wrapped.around them tightly.   
'Okay Ruby, cuddles for you as well' Bernie said picking her off her legs and cuddling her close,.planting kisses into her brown hair. 

Cameron, Elinor and Charlotte all watched as their mothers embraced their grandchildren. They were.so lucky to have such wonderful role models for their children.

*********************************************

'So, have you all been? Anything new to report?' Elinor hadn't seen her family in a few months as she had been busy with the girls.  
'Nothing really. St James' have opened up a new ward and its been mad trying to get it all ready in time. Chloe has been rushed off her feet, she's worried she's not giving enough time.to Toby'  
'Don't you worry about Toby Cam, he's doing just fine. We can all see that'  
'So, how's life on AAU treating you?'

Cameron.observed as Bernie and Serena exchanged a glance and he knew they were going to say something.  
'Mum, Serena? What is it?'  
'Well, um...in answer to.your question Ellie, it's okay. But as of next week we will no longer be working there. Bernie and I have handed in our resignations'  
'You what? Why on earth would you do that?' Charlotte was shocked. She knew how much Serena and Bernie loved their jobs on AAU. She had never imagined the two of them packing it in.  
'Well, we just felt like now was the right time. Too much has happened and changed. All we want is to be with each other and our family'  
'Are you sure this is what you want? Mum, you've been there over ten years'  
'I know Ellie, and it's been amazing it really has. But the time.comes for change'  
'We just want to be together, and let's face it, we won't be able.to carry on forever. After everything we've been through in the last two years, we realised life is too short.  
'Well, it certainly sounds like you've made up your mind'  
'We have Cameron. We have six days left on the ward and then we're done being doctors. Gives us more time to spend with our lovely children and amazing grandchildren'

Elinor wrapped her arms around her Mum. She seemed set on this, and all she wanted was for her to be happy. Cameron gave his Mum a hug and then went to give Chloe a break, who was pushing Toby on the swing. Ruby was jumping around on the bouncy castle shouting she was the queen of it. Bernie shook her head fondly, she was definitely Serena's granddaughter.

Right here in this moment, all they had was.all they could ever want, their family.


	114. Long Goodbye

Their last week in the hospital flew by, and before they knew it, they were working their last shift as co-leads of AAU. They were sad to be leaving it all behind- it was the end of an era, but they were really excited to see what the future held for them.

Their last shift passed by with no complications- Bernie overseeing a final trauma patient in theatre, and Serena completing all of their outstanding paperwork. She glanced around the office- she'd have never thought she'd have willingly handed in her resignation- Edward had once joked that she'd have been taken away from medicine in a coffin.

But she'd learnt there was a chance for a life outside of the ward. And she couldn't wait to get out and live it, with the love of her life by her side. Bernie had bought so much love into her life- even six and a half years on she was still pinching herself every day that Bernie had chosen her to spend her life with

Clocking off time rolled around, and Bernie appeared in the doorway, changed out of her scrubs for the last time. She and Serena didn't want a fuss- they wanted to slip away without the emotion. 

'Ready.to go?'  
As I'll ever be'  
'Are you okay?'  
'I'm fine. It just feels strange, leaving after all this time'

Bernie came into the office and wrapped her arms around Serena. After a minute, she withdrew and tucked her hand into Serena's. They were about to leave when Raf appeared in the doorway.   
'Where do you two think you're going?'  
'Home'  
'Oh no, you two are leaving us forever. The least you can do is buy us a drink to remember you by. Morven and Fletch are already down there'  
'Okay, okay. I think we can stretch to one drink'

**********************************************

Serena pushed open the doors to Albies, totally unprepared for what she saw when she was inside.   
'SURPRISE' everybody shouted as she and Bernie entered the pub. One look around at everybody's smiling faces and Serena broke down in Bernies arms. 

'W...What is all this?.  
'Bernie, you didn't think we would let you go without a proper send off did you?'  
'Well we had rather hoped so Fletch. We didn't want a fuss'  
'Well tough, cause that's exactly what you're getting. You're both getting the royal treatment tonight'  
'You're both loved throughout this hospital, we want to give you the goodbye you deserve'  
'This is not what we imagined. But, who am I to turn.down a drink.of Shiraz?'

The.crowd giggled.as Serena went to the bar. 

*********************************************

Over an hour later, Serena and Bernie were stood at the bar talking quietly holding hands. Serena wanted to say a few words, so that people.would know just what people had meant.to.both her and Bernie over the years. 

Bernie tapped Serena's wine.glass.so that the pub.fell.silent and looked at them expectantly.  
'I...uh...I wanted to say a few words before we leave. The hospital has been our home away from home since we.both arrived. AAU has been a joy to run, I think I speak on behalf of both Bernie and myself when I say that we will miss everyone so much. Fletch, you are the best nurse I have ever worked with. And you are an amazing father to.your kids. They are.so lucky to have you. Morven, you are one of the most talented and resilient doctors I have ever met. AAU is lucky to have you. I know you will.always be the amazing doctor you are, but the amazing person you are comes.from inside. And Raf, you have been the best friend to me. Who'd have thought we'd still be friends so many years down the line? You have been involved in mine and Bernie's story since the start, you were our Cupid. And lastly, to this amazing woman beside me. This is by no means the end for us, this is just the beginning of the next chapter in our journey. I am.so lucky to have you Bernie, I love you so much.'  
'I love you more, you know that'  
'I doubt that. So, thank you to everyone who has been involved in our time at the.hospital. But we will be back, you can be sure.of that, to check up on all of you'

'To Bernie and Serena' Morven called out, raising her glass.  
'To Bernie and Serena' the crowd echoed. 

Bernie and Serena smiled broadly and then went.to give Morven, Fletch and Raf one last hug. They had said their goodbyes, prolonging them.wouldn't make it any easier. Then they slipped out of the pub, hand in hand.

Their time as surgeons might.be over, but they would be back at the hospital sooner than they had planned. Did fate have one last trick up its sleeve before we close the book for good?


	115. Berena Renewal

Just over a month had passed since Bernie and Serena's last day in the hospital. They missed the daily interactions with Raf, Fletch and Morven, but they didn't miss the never-ending stream of patients and paperwork. 

The day started like any other, with the two of them sat in the garden on the decking, enjoying the April sunshine. They were talking softly,.when Serena's phone rang. It was Elinor. 

'Hey Ellie...' Serena picked up the phone. Bernie watched as, after a minute, the colour drained from her face.   
'It's alright, we're on our way' Serena put the phone down and.hurried into the house.  
'What is it?'  
'Ruby's had a fall. Ellie took her to AAU. Apparently it's not serious, but Ruby is crying for us.'  
'Hey, relax. Everything will be okay, I promise'

**********************************************

Serena and Bernie had rushed to the hospital and to AAU. Ruby was their first born grandchild, so she was extremely important to them. They looked around for Elinor, but they could see no sign of her.

'Serena? Bernie? What are you doing here? Missed us too much and decided to come back?'  
'No Fletch, although we do miss you. Ellie said Ruby was on the ward after a fall. Is she okay?'  
'Ruby? I haven't seen her today. Elinor was here about twenty minutes ago'  
'Ellie was here? Without Ruby? What's going on?'  
'I am not allowed to say, only to direct you to the roof.'

*********************************************

Serena and Bernie opened the door to the roof and saw Cameron, Charlotte and Elinor stood over the side by the fencing along the edge.  
'Hey you three, what's going on?' Bernie asked as they drew level with them.  
'Ellie, is Ruby okay? We've been worried sick'  
'She's fine. She's with Toby and the girls. Chloe has them in the creche. I'm sorry I lied but we needed you to be here'

Serena rushed forward and hugged her daughter, relieved that Ruby was okay.  
'What do you mean you needed us here. Here, as in on.the roof?'  
'No, the hospital in general.'  
'Why?'  
'Look down and tell me what you see'

Serena and Bernie obligingly appeared over the edge, looking down at the toy cars entering and exiting the hospital.  
'Well...?'  
'Cameron, it would help if I knew what we were looking for. I can see cars, people, the peace garden...'  
'The peace garden, that's what you're looking for'  
'Why?'  
'Cause you're getting your vows renewed there in an hour'

Silence

'I'm sorry...did you say we're renewing our vows there Ellie?'  
'Yes Bernie'  
'What?'  
'Mum, we wanted to surprise you. You've just ended one chapter of your life here. Why not start the next one here as well?'  
'But...we can't'  
'Why not?'

It was Bernie who had spoken. Serena turned to look at her wife to see she was deadly serious.   
'What?'  
'Why can't we? It's a brilliant idea Serena. We've been wanting to get them renewed for ages. Now is as good a time as any. Think about it. I love you, you love me. Surrounded by our families and a simple blessing. It couldn't be more perfect. You know I'm right'  
'Okay'

Bernie's smile widened and she grabbed Serena's hands.   
'So we're doing this?'  
'Yes...kids I hope you've got something decent for me to wear, I look a mess'  
'You always look beautiful to me Serena'

Serena smiled and Elinor pulled her away, and all she had time for a quick wave to Bernie.

**********************************************

55 minutes later, Morven, Fletch, Raf, Ric and Hanssen were sat on chairs in the peace garden. Cameron and Chloe were looking after Jade and Arianna in their car seats.

The music started- a million love songs. Toby, the cutest ring bearer ever in his ivory suit and pink shirt, walked down the aisle holding onto Charlotte's hand. Charlotte and Elinor were wearing identical pink dresses with matching kitten heels. Behind Charlotte followed Ruby, dressed in an adorable ivory flower girl dress with a pink bow in her hair. Elinor followed behind, watching to make sure Ruby was okay. She needn't have worried- her daughter was loving every single second. 

Bernie and Serena brought up the rear, walking down the aisle hand in hand. Bernie was wearing an ivory suit with a pink rose pinned to her lapel. Serena had on a beautiful ivory summer dress that shimmered whenever the light caught it. Together with ivory heels, she was every bit the beautiful person, Bernie knew and loved beyond compare

They reached the end of the aisle, where the vicar was stood. As their music petered out, they squeezed each other's hands, just to be sure this wasn't a dream.

*********************************************

After the usual spiel, the vicar invited them to say their vows. Bernie picked up the ring and stopped. It was engraved with her name. She placed it on Serena's finger and began to say her vows.  
'Serena, where do I even begin to describe how much I love you. I think you know, so I probably shouldn't tell you, but I will anyway. I love you more than anything. The last two years have been so hard on us both, I cannot be without you for a second. Right here, right now, I vow to always love you and I will always protect you. Above all, I will never leave you'

Serena's eyes were full of tears, as she picked up her ring. It had her name engraved on it. Trembling slightly, she placed it on Bernie's finger, reciting her vows.  
'Bernie, there aren't enough words or amount of time possible for me to describe how much I love you. We've faced so much since we've been together, but we've come through every thing. We've almost lost each other on more than one occasion. I love you so much, I know how precious life is. I swear I will always be by your side and I will always love you. More than anything'

'Well I will pronounce you wife and wife again. You can kiss each other now.'

Bernie looked at Serena. Stepping forward simultaneously, they kissed each other deeply. Almost like their first and last kiss rolled into one.

Congratulations Berena!


	116. Thank You

Straight after the ceremony, Elinor and Charlotte whizzed Bernie and Serena off to Albies for drinks and the reception. They'd spent the last four weeks planning this and they were desperate for it to go without a hitch. 

Cameron had been in charge of decorating Albies and as the party entered, it was clear that Cameron hadn't inherited his mothers eye for design.   
'I'm sorry it's nothing much. I haven't.got your creativity Mum'  
'Cam its fine, today has been amazing. Decorations dont matter'  
'I helped Uncle Cameron decorate. I painted the banner Nanny look!' Ruby exclaimed, running over to where the 'Congratulations Bernie and Serena' banner was hanging.  
'That's beautiful Ruby. I love it.' Serena picked Ruby off the floor and hugged her tight.  
'Kids, today has been amazing.... this was the last thing I expected. Thank you'  
'Bernie, we wanted to make this day special. You're our family, we hope you realise now just how much we all love you.'  
'Ellie, that is so special'

Bernie extended her arms, and the whole family hugged. They were very close, and they knew that they would never really be alone, because they were.part of a very close knit family. 

'Sorry to spoil the moment, but can I please get a drink of Shiraz? I need to toast my beautiful family'

*********************************************

Albies was the place to be that night. The atmosphere was so warm and inviting, it would have melted even the coolest of hearts. Drinks had been flowing as the medics all enjoyed a rare night off. Morven, Fletch and Raf were so.excited for Serena and Bernie. They'd been through so much in the last couple of years, this renewal of their vows was almost like them erasing away the bad feelings and emotions.

Bernie glanced around, never having been as happy as she was right in this moment. Today had done the unthinkable and topped the actual wedding day. She stood up and cleared her thought, waiting for the room to fall silent. Serena looked at her expectantly, and Bernie held out her hands, waiting for Serena to take them, which she did immediately.

'I wasn't expecting any of this today. I had absolutely no idea what was happening, and I know Serena didn't. I think there's a few people we have to thank. Chloe- you've been a godsend to look after all the kids at the drop of a hat. You're an amazing mum to Toby. Thank you.for having them all morning in the creche, that can't have been easy. Cameron, I am so lucky to be able to say you're my son. Thank you for your contribution towards today. You say you're not very creative, but I absolutely love every thing you've done. Because what you did came from your heart. And, to our amazing daughters, Charlotte and Elinor. We both know that you two organised this day. Thank you so much. We couldn't have imagined anything as perfect as this. It really was everything we ever imagined and more. And finally, to my gorgeous and amazing wife, I thank myself every day that I.have you by my side. I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life but I count my stars and blessings every day, including our Berena star. I will spend the rest of my life trying to show you how much I love you. Thank you for never leaving me and always standing by me'  
'There is nothing I want more than to always be with you' Serena interjected, kissing Bernie deeply.

The crowds burst into applause and there was one very loud EWW!. Laughter followed when people spied Ruby sat with the hands over her eyes. 

********************************************

Over an hour later, Elinor and Charlotte finally reappeared at the reception. They'd had one final surprise to take care of at their mothers home. As they emerged in Albies, Bernie and Serena nudged each other, having wondered where their daughters had been.

'Where have you two been? We've been looking for you.'  
'We had an errand to run. An errand that involved your house'  
'Our house? Why?'  
'Well, when you get home you will.see what we mean Bernie. Charlie and I have just come from there, and we know you will love it'  
'Shall we go now?'  
'Is that what you want Serena?'  
'Yes, I want to be at home with you.'  
'Okay, let's go then'

Serena and Bernie went round and said their goodbyes, before leaving Albies hand in hand. This story is almost at an end. Two more chapters, two more surprises and then it's over.


	117. 1st Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter. 
> 
> In light of news that's come to light today, I thought we could do with a bit of Berena love.

Bernie and Serena got out of the taxi and paid the driver. They'd both had a bit to drink and Elinor had promised to drop Bernie's car off tomorrow. They were giddy and behaving like school girls- anyone could tell they were completely and utterly in love. They were drunk and high on alcohol, happiness and love. 

Serena fumbled for the keys, struggling to put them in the lock as Bernie stood pressed against her, kissing along where her neck meets her shoulders. Finally, the lock gave way and Serena was about to walk in, when Bernie picked her up, literally sweeping her off her feet.   
'Bernie, what are you doing?'  
'We didn't get to do this the first time around, so it seems only fitting I do it now'  
'Do what?'  
'Carry you over the threshold. It's tradition'  
'Oh Bernie'

Serena kissed Bernie deeply, as she was carried into the house. Bernie gently kicked the door shut behind her. As she lowered Serena to the floor, something caught her eye.   
'What?' Serena had seen Bernie stop. Following her gaze, she turned around and the sight that saw her melted her heart. 

Tealights littered the stairs, casting a golden glow in the darkness of the hallway. They were all up the stairs. Serena took the lead, Bernie's hands on hers, like always.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Serena opened their bedroom door. An aromatic smell of lavender filled the room, from the candles flickering on the dressing table. The bedsheets had been changed and rose petals had been scattered on top of the duvet. A bottle of champagne sat in a bucket of ice, accompanied by two glasses. 

Serena couldn't believe that their daughters had done all.this for them. Bernie squeezed Serena's hand gently, and lead her over to the ensuite. She had a feeling there were more surprises in.there- and she was right. The bath had been drawn halfway, with rose petals floating gently on the surface of the water. 

'I can't believe they did this for us Bernie. This whole day feels amazing, like a dream'  
Bernie smiled and lightly pinched Serena's arm.  
'See no.dream, everything is real.Serena'  
'I love you so much'  
'Love you more'  
'I doubt that'

Serena closed the gap between the two of them, kissing her passionately. Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena, kissing her back just as enthusiastically. Bernie backed Serena out of the bathroom. Serena ran her hands through Bernie's hair, deepening the kiss. Bernie lowered Serena gently onto the pillows, playing with the zip on her dress, when Serena pulled something out from under her head. An envelope with her and Bernie's name on. 

Sitting up and taking Bernie with her, she opened it. Two plane tickets fell out, and Serena read the letter in with them, she smiled broadly. She showed Bernie, who read quickly.  
'Wow....'  
'I cannot believe this. This is just the icing on top of a perfect day'  
'Not perfect, not yet'  
'Why not?'

Serena got off the bed and unzipped her dress. She let it fall to the floor, staring at Bernie with a wide grin on her face. Bernie stared at her for a moment, appreciating her wife, before desire won out and she pulled Serena on.top of her, determined to make the most of the rose petals and champagne. 

So in love, so perfect together- they really are the perfect pairing. One more chapter, one more surprise before the book is.closed.


	118. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last and final chapter for this fanfiction. Thank you to everyone in the Berena fandom that has supported me on this journey.

Bernie and Serena arrived at the airport the next morning like two kids in a sweet shop. They were so excited about this, they had no idea their kids had planned it.

Serena grabbed her hands in Bernie's, not caring where she was. The fact they were so in love emanating from them in a spiralling motion, it was obvious to anyone and everyone that they were head over heels for each other.

In true Serena fashion, she had got up.at 5am this morning to pack. Even after leaving half her list at home, she'd packed two full to bursting suitcases. Bernie laughed fondly, carrying her holdall over her shoulder. This was one reason she loved Serena Campbell so much, she never did anything by halves, it was all or nothing.

They went through to the departure lounge and sat watching the world go by through the glass windows of the airport.   
'Excited?'  
'Excited doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm still riding high after yesterday Bernie. It still feels like a dream.'  
'Well it's not, this is real and it's happening. Serena, we deserve the happiness'  
'I have all the happiness in the world with you by my side. That's all I ever need'  
'Well you've got me, you know that. Forever'  
'I love you so much'  
'I love you more'  
'Doubt that'

Serena rested her head on Bernie's shoulder. The amount of love she felt for her was so overwhelming, she didn't know how she'd ever coped without her. The last six years had been so amazing, she had no idea how she'd coped before Bernie came into her life. 

Bernie kissed the top of Serena's head. She loved this woman with every depth of her being, she had no idea how she had survived half a century on this planet without this woman beside her. 

Their flight was called and the moment of them being lost in their thoughts ended. Grabbing their bags, they walked hand in hand to the departure gate. 

*********************************************

Bernie pulled the hire car over and glanced over at Serena. They were both a bit jetlagged but adrenalin and excitement had propelled Bernie to their destination. Serena had tried valiantly, but she had succumbed to sleep. Bernie watched Serena sleeping peacefully and didn't want to wake her, but she had to.

Reaching over, she caresses Serena's cheek and said her name softly, breaking Serena's sleep gently until she was completely back in the land of the living.

'Hey, we're here'  
'Already? Sorry, did I fall asleep?'  
'It's alright, you needed it Serena'  
'Well I'm wide awake now. Come on, I cannot wait'

Bernie returned Serena's smile and they both got.out of the car. Hand in hand, they walked up the driveway to the house. Bernie knocked with the door knocker and waited. Serena squeezed Bernie's hand, excited and nervous as to how this would pan out. 

The door opened and their hearts stopped.  
'Surprise!'  
They looked each other up and down, overcome with emotion before they.opened their arms.   
'Auntie Serena, Auntie Bernie, what are you doing here?'  
'We came to see you Jason. We have so much to tell you'

Jason grinned as widely as they had ever seen and he fell into their waiting arms. Elinor, Charlotte and Cameron had all chipped in to buy them a fortnight in Wisconsin to see Jason. 

The last surprise had been a brilliant one, fuelled by the love their family had for each other. Bernie and Serena had quite the relationship, but it wasn't just that. 

Berena was a lifeline for them both, a chance to be the person they always wanted to be. 

Who knows what the future may hold for Bernie and Serena, but as long as they have each other, they will be fine. 

A fitting end to my story I hope.   
All's Well That Ends Well.


End file.
